Post your naughty limericks here!

[lemmesee]

Please post your naughty limericks here....such as:


There was a young lady named Jane,
who was hopelessly addicted to pain.
While she yearned for a cure, she would fuck to be sure,
but she'd still rather be beat with a cane!

-or-

There was a young lady from France,
who loved to have men in her pants.
And woo them she would, to make use of their wood,
but they only wanted to dance!

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young fellow named Jack,
who enjoyed having girls in his sack.
He' kiss their sweet tits, and lick on their clits,
So much so that they'd always cum back!

 

[starlightqueen]

I loved them so much I needed to do my own!

She'd thought her wedding night would be greater
tortured princess, her body a traitor
however he'd thumb, she couldn't come
so together they bought a vibrator

(the happy ending is implied )

 

[lemmesee]

Jill truly liked to play with herself,
often using a toy from her shelf.
But when she met Fred, and spent a night in his bed,
ever after she wanted some help!

 

[lemmesee]

When Kate last lived in the city,
her cums came from rubbing her clitty.
But now on the farm, out in back of the barn,
she cums when Sam sucks her titty!

 

[lemmesee]

Their union was planned for the grass,
the deflowering of this town's little lass.
But when they went down, she did nothing but frown,
because he put it in her sweet little ass!

 

[lemmesee]

There once was a girl from Spokane,
who diddled herself in the can.
She did so each day, until she met Ray,
then she gave up her hand for a man!

 

[mrtickles]

Little Rock

There once was a gal from little rock
She took on this boy with a sizeble cock
While on her knees the town started buzzin
‘cause the guy she sucked off wasn’t a cousin

 

[kingten]

ode to limerick county

In limerick lived a mick, that would brag
"My dick so thick the women beg to shag."
Girls talking "True its massive"
Him in you? No fair! Your passive!"
No! In my brother the myth legend and fag.


http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu223/kingtensuited/limerick.jpg

 

[lemmesee]

Karen and Sandy were friends,
they would fuck almost every weekend.
One would be she, and one would be he,
and their cums would seem never to end!

 

[jayce1066]

There once was a girl named Elise
Who was famous from Paris to Nice
For her dingle-berries
Looked just like Bing cheeries
and they sold for three dollars apiece.

 

[lemmesee]

Frank was surely addicted to porn,
he would rub it from sunset to morn.
But when he met Missy, and felt her warm kitty,
he'd found a new place for his horn!

 

[lemmesee]

Sue is hopelessly addicted to Lit,
she surfs here while she plays with her clit.
She rubs it and rubs it, and rubbity-dubs it,
While her boyfriend jerks-off to her tits!

 

[lemmesee]

There was a young girl from Iran,
who diddled herself in the can.
It made her feel good, as best as it could,
But she'd rather have had a young man!

 

[Jack_Samuel]

When I was young I married an elf
Who had lots of porn on her bookshelf
But in bed shes not good
No respect for manhood
So I'll stay home and do it myself

 

[Jack_Samuel]

Tommorrow is valentines day
If your lucky we'll go to the bay
i'll lick your clit
we can play a bit
But ill never book an archway

 

[Jack_Samuel]

There once was a girl from Sydney
Who loved to fuck in any alley
But only at night
Light was not bright
Because she had such bad acne

 

[Jack_Samuel]

I once picked up a girl so thin
But came before i could begin
she nearly had a fit
demanded i lick her clit
But i only ran away with a grin

 

[lemmesee]

Jill liked to watch Bill as he jacked,
even more than being fucked in his sack.
He would stare at her tits, as he pumped with his fist,
until his semen shot over her rack!

 

[lemmesee]

When I was young I married an elf
Who had lots of porn on her bookshelf
But in bed shes not good
No respect for manhood
So I'll stay home and do it myself

Thanks, Jack!

 

[lemmesee]

Jill liked to do Fred on his bed,
even moreso than she liked to do Ted.
She would fuckitty-fuck, and would occasionally suck,
but with more vigor than she did Uncle Ed!

 

[Jack_Samuel]

Jack and jill ran up the hill
An urge they had to fulfill
her ass he slapped
the condom snapped
so lucky she was on the pill

 

[lemmesee]

Tom liked to do sex on the phone,
even more so than doing it alone.
He'd listen intently, and stroke himself gently,
until he shot-off with a groan!

 

[silvastormcloud]

heres alot lol

I know a girl who lives over the sea
she's delcate, pretty, a little pixie
but people are mean
when their unseen
luckily i will always be at her mercy

ohh i love people to lick my clit
and when they do i will emit
a sound so sharp
so unlike a harp
oops its not clean im such a nit

There once was man from down under
my chasity he wanted to plunder
i showed a leg
left him to beg
Forever he can only wonder

Translated his name means oat
My pussy he wanted to coat
But using no glove
to me means no love
so i left him with only a note

There once was a man who wanted my bum
But his cock head was as big as a plum
Instead i kneeled down
I really went to town
His cum was so nice i said Yum Yum

there once was a man called Quimby
Who seemed to like me just for me
one genuine guy
noone could deny
for him my kisses are always free

 

[OzArrian]

There once was a girl from Peru
Oh the taboo things she would do!
She'd knob-gobble a Llama
Do anal with Obama
And get nuns to lick off her cunt dew