Liberals on the Golf Course!

[DesertPirate]

New Rules of Golf in January 2009

No matter your political affiliation, you knew this was coming:

In addition to Obama's new tax plan, he also has announced a plan for certain changes in the Rules of Golf. Some of the highlights follow:


Golfers with handicaps:

* - below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%
* - between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
* - above 18 will play for free with free drinks and food after each round.

The dollar amount put in for bets will be as follows:

* -for handicaps below 10 an additional $10
* -between 11 and 18 no additional amount
* -above 18, as a group you will receive half the total amount in the pot regardless of your scores.


The term "gimmes" will be changed to "entitlements" and will be used as follows:

* -handicaps below 10, no entitlements
* -handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for all " in the leather" putts
* -handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to putt, just pick it up

In addition:

* A Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and six pars. Any excess in either must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.
* The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term "Net Score" will apply exclusively to those players with handicaps 18 and above.
* "Gross Score" will apply to all other players with handicaps under 18.
* This "Changes in Golf Rules Plan" is intended to "redistribute" the opportunity for winning to all players, regardless of individual ability.

These Golf Rule Changes are intended to bring about fairness in scoring so that the final scores of all players will be about the same. Golf rules should emphasize Fairness and should have nothing to do with individual Ability

 

[midwestyankee]

This is mildly humorous and displays a modicum of awareness of how golf works.

That said, it's also evidence of a certain level of cynicism. When corporations receive tax breaks it's considered "good for America" and when the wealthy receive tax breaks, it's considered "good for America" but when average people get a helping hand it's considered "Socialism."

I call bullshit. Frankly, I'm so fucking tired of this cynical attitude of American "conservatives" that there are times I wish it was practical to move to Canada.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

This is mildly humorous and displays a modicum of awareness of how golf works.

That said, it's also evidence of a certain level of cynicism. When corporations receive tax breaks it's considered "good for America" and when the wealthy receive tax breaks, it's considered "good for America" but when average people get a helping hand it's considered "Socialism."

I call bullshit. Frankly, I'm so fucking tired of this cynical attitude of American "conservatives" that there are times I wish it was practical to move to Canada.

Hm. Rob, you got enough room for all of us???

 

[Huckleman2000]

Shorter version: Yeah, it's time for handouts to all the undeserving. And how do we know they're undeserving? They're poor. If they were deserving, they'd be rich, y'know? I mean, there's fucking reason they're poor - they're just lazy, stupid losers.

 

[gauchecritic]

there's fucking reason they're poor - they're just lazy, stupid losers.

Good point. Unfortunately that puts you in the category "Usual Suspects".

 

[DesertPirate]

The Thundering Herd of Dumbass some call Congress is obviously trying to change the rules for everything else, figured this was next.



I used to have an A3 card from the PGA, for those that need a real rules decision

 

[DeeZire]

I used to have an A3 card from the PGA, for those that need a real rules decision

That explains a lot. Personally, I used to pick up golf balls down at the beach - the ones the rich guys were too lazy to retrieve.

 

[DeeZire]

I mean, there's fucking reason they're poor - they're just lazy, stupid losers.

Unlike Bush, who was a lazy stupid loser that everyone in America wanted to have a beer with.

I propose that you would find more lazy stupid losers on a golf course than anywhere else in this country, but I guess that would depend on your definition of 'loser', since many losers are quite successful. (See my first sentence for an example.)

 

[DesertPirate]

That explains a lot. Personally, I used to pick up golf balls down at the beach - the ones the rich guys were too lazy to retrieve.

Worked through college in golf course maintenace to get a business degree and the card through thee PGM program that replaced the PGA business schools. I maintained a fleet of carts and all other machinery. Found it paid better than being an assistant pro and was a golf course head mechanic for 11 years

 

[TE999]

Worked through college in golf course maintenace to get a business degree and the card through thee PGM program that replaced the PGA business schools. I maintained a fleet of carts and all other machinery. Found it paid better than being an assistant pro and was a golf course head mechanic for 11 years

Totally irrelephant...guilty by association with bloated capitalists...off with his head.

 

[DeeZire]

Totally irrelephant...guilty by association with bloated capitalists...off with his head.

Actually, DP's golf status is admirable in light of how he attained it. It's his ideology that makes him guilty by association.

 

[TE999]

Actually, DP's golf status is admirable in light of how he attained it. It's his ideology that makes him guilty by association.

Quite odd, that. You'd think he'd be on the side of the workers, succeeding as he did, instead of in league with the exploiting, callous, slave-driving, money-grubbing bosses. Obviously, he's yet to be enlightened as to the eternal class struggle.

 

[DesertPirate]

Quite odd, that. You'd think he'd be on the side of the workers, succeeding as he did, instead of in league with the exploiting, callous, slave-driving, money-grubbing bosses. Obviously, he's yet to be enlightened as to the eternal class struggle.

I just want enough to survive without worrying every month.
On moral grounds I will never join the left.

 

[midwestyankee]

I just want enough to survive without worrying every month.
On moral grounds I will never join the left.

It's a shame that you don't feel you have high enough morals to join in with the left. Oh well, I'm sure you could console yourself by salivating over the shattered Constitution left behind by your idol the Shrub.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Quite odd, that. You'd think he'd be on the side of the workers, succeeding as he did, instead of in league with the exploiting, callous, slave-driving, money-grubbing bosses. Obviously, he's yet to be enlightened as to the eternal class struggle.

It's funny... my ex's father has made a LOT of money, and pays a lot in taxes because of it. But he earned his way up to that bracket, and still votes Dem, every time. He really remembers what it was like to be back there...

His wife, on the other hand, votes Repub. No question. She has no sympathy for "freeloaders." But she didn't work like he did - she married him and went along for the ride, and that was all. She remembers being poor - and hates that she ever was and wants to deny, I think, that it ever happened. She enjoys flashing expensive clothes and jewelry and cars, esp when it comes to people she knew "back when."

Interesting, what makes someone go one way, and someone else another...

 

[rgraham666]

Quite odd, that. You'd think he'd be on the side of the workers, succeeding as he did, instead of in league with the exploiting, callous, slave-driving, money-grubbing bosses. Obviously, he's yet to be enlightened as to the eternal class struggle.

Oh, the revolutionaries calling themselves 'conservatives' believe in 'the class struggle'.

They just have a differing opinion from their alleged enemies, the Marxists, on who will win it.

I say 'alleged' because these revolutionaries agree with the Marxists on how a capitalist system works. As with the 'class struggle', they differ on what is good and bad. Where the Marxists think something about capitalism is bad, the 'conservatives' think it's good.

But they agree on how a capitalist system must work. There's no choice at all in the matter. Economics demands and we must comply.

 

[xssve]

Shorter version: Yeah, it's time for handouts to all the undeserving. And how do we know they're undeserving? They're poor. If they were deserving, they'd be rich, y'know? I mean, there's fucking reason they're poor - they're just lazy, stupid losers.

Or possibly they actually work for a living, the fools.

 

[Huckleman2000]

It's funny... my ex's father has made a LOT of money, and pays a lot in taxes because of it. But he earned his way up to that bracket, and still votes Dem, every time. He really remembers what it was like to be back there...

His wife, on the other hand, votes Repub. No question. She has no sympathy for "freeloaders." But she didn't work like he did - she married him and went along for the ride, and that was all. She remembers being poor - and hates that she ever was and wants to deny, I think, that it ever happened. She enjoys flashing expensive clothes and jewelry and cars, esp when it comes to people she knew "back when."

Interesting, what makes someone go one way, and someone else another...

Some people begin to associate money with their self-worth. They never escape the poverty of their soul.

 

[xssve]

Yes, nothing develops the soul quite so much as having no money, lol.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I've been poor and I've been comfortable. Comfortable is better. Some day I may even be mildly rich. I still vote whichever way the winds blows. All depends on the quality of my morning coffee, perhaps. ROFL!

 

[Huckleman2000]

I didn't mean to imply any virtue in poverty. Just that using money as a large measure of one's self-worth indicates, I think, a shallowness of understanding.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I have a friend who says that the purpose of money is to make more money.
"Right!" says I, "And then you die. How satisfying." Far as I'm concerned, money is to make you comfortable. Once one reaches a certain level of comfort, spending any more is just another form of work. And feeling the way I do about that particular four letter word . . .

 

[TE999]

I have a friend who says that the purpose of money is to make more money.
"Right!" says I, "And then you die. How satisfying." Far as I'm concerned, money is to make you comfortable. Once one reaches a certain level of comfort, spending any more is just another form of work. And feeling the way I do about that particular four letter word . . .

I remember a quote...but not who said it...to the effect that once one has a million dollars annual income...anything above that is only for power.

Rich or poor, it's nice to have money.

 

[rgraham666]

I've learned to do without money.

I'd rather be dirt poor and reasonably happy than wealthy and hating every minute of my life. Which I did once.

 

[DesertPirate]

I have a friend who says that the purpose of money is to make more money.
"Right!" says I, "And then you die. How satisfying." Far as I'm concerned, money is to make you comfortable. Once one reaches a certain level of comfort, spending any more is just another form of work. And feeling the way I do about that particular four letter word . . .

I agree completely, especially on the 4 letter word