Fundies Say the Darndest Things

[impressive]

Quote repository. Many laughs.

 

[rgraham666]

http://bestsmileys.com/sick/9.gif

 

[Guest]

Quote repository. Many laughs.

I could only get through a few of them but this one caught my eye:

Satan is having his greatest holiday in 8 years today! I WEEP FOR THE HEATHEN 88% OF THIS COUNTRY WHO DID NOT SUPPORT GEORGE BUSH!

#1Christian, Fox News Forums [Comments (33)] [2009-Jan-28]


There are many brilliant, well-educated people who are deeply spiritual and happily religious. I guess Fox News has trouble finding them.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Our resident asshats would be lost with Dubya and Christians to villify.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I can't decide which one I like better:

"Universities are where "smart" people preach against God and promote feminism, sodomy, drug-use, promiscuity and all else that is opposed to God." [Amicus - is that you, dude?]

or

"The Anti-Christ is someone against Christ. Obama refused his 2nd (official) oath with a Bible. The Anti-Christ unites the people of the world and gets them to follow/believe in him through his words/speeches. Obama has nearly achieved this already. People are in tears all over the world thinking him their savior. The Anti-Christ will be followed by the masses and then he will begin to grow in power and destroy all that is Christian. Obama does not intend to follow the 10 commandments nor encourage others to do so. OBAMA IS THE ANTI-CHRIST." [If I wouldn't have voted for him before, I sure would now...]

I'd really like to let out with a big 'ol Muahahahaha!, but it scares me too much that these people actually BELIEVE this shit!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

You know God is love if he can even forgive these maniacs.

 

[Guest]

I was fighting between doing that horrible belly laugh thing and throwing up.... I like that my girl is allowing me breakfast lately so I went with laughing... felt better

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

VM

Tell us more about the nature of God, oh wise one!

Whats the old cliche? VM contemplating God is like a dog contemplating Isaac Newton.

 

[3113]

[If I wouldn't have voted for him before, I sure would now...]

I know! Wouldn't that make us the coolest country ever? To have the Anti-Christ as our leader?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Defendant Olona stated, 'Uh oh, I accidentally pulled out your IUD. I gently tugged and out it came.' She then explained, 'I cut the string than went back and gently pulled and out it came. It must have not been in properly.'

"Olona then stated, 'having the IUD come out was a good thing.' She asked (the plaintiff) if she wanted to hear her 'take' on the situation. Without receiving a response, Defendant Olona stated, 'I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them. What the IUD does is take the fertilized egg and pushes it out of the uterus.'

"Defendant Olona stated, 'Everyone in the office always laughs and tells me I pull these out on purpose because I am against them, but it's not true, they accidentally come out when I tug.'

OMG.

It ACCIDENTALLY came out when she tugged on it, did it?

*deep breaths*

Good thing I don't own guns. I might accidentally shoot her.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

"The Anti-Christ is someone against Christ. Obama refused his 2nd (official) oath with a Bible. The Anti-Christ unites the people of the world and gets them to follow/believe in him through his words/speeches. Obama has nearly achieved this already. People are in tears all over the world thinking him their savior. The Anti-Christ will be followed by the masses and then he will begin to grow in power and destroy all that is Christian. Obama does not intend to follow the 10 commandments nor encourage others to do so. OBAMA IS THE ANTI-CHRIST."

[If I wouldn't have voted for him before, I sure would now...]

If you replace all references to "Christ" with "Bush" it makes lot more sense!

Safe - that sentence of yours is a gem it's like that mobius strip thing where you get a ring with only one surface. With Cartesian logic, I think it's the same as saying, "If I would have voted for him before, I sure wouldn't now."

You know God is love if he can even forgive these maniacs.

If God is love, why does he leave these maniacs around to piss the hell outa ornery folks?

 

[Stella_Omega]

You know God is love if he can even forgive these maniacs.

"Believe," dude, not "know."

 

[Pure]

here's the full article. mind boggling

http://www.courthousenews.com/2009/..._IUD_Without_Permission_Then_Lectured_Her.htm

Courthouse News Service
Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Woman Says Anti-Abortion Nurse Removed IUD Without Permission, Then Lectured Her


ALBUQUERQUE (CN) - A clinic nurse first removed her intrauterine birth-control device without permission, the patient claims in a federal action, then told her that "having the IUD come out was a good thing," because "I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them."


The patient sued Presbyterian Medical Services Rio Rancho Family Health Center and nurse practitioner Sylvia Olona in Federal Court.
The plaintiff says she went to Rio Rancho to have the strings on her IUD shortened.

The complaint states: "As soon as Defendant Olona began speaking to (the plaintiff), she questioned her about her choice of contraception.

"As Defendant Olona began the procedure, (the plaintiff) felt Olona pull on the strings of the IUD. (The plaintiff) felt a distinct pulling on the strings followed by a sharp pain in her uterus similar to a very strong menstrual cramp.

"As that happened, Defendant Olona stated, 'Uh oh, I accidentally pulled out your IUD. I gently tugged and out it came.' She then explained, 'I cut the string than went back and gently pulled and out it came. It must have not been in properly.'

"Olona then stated, 'having the IUD come out was a good thing.' She asked (the plaintiff) if she wanted to hear her 'take' on the situation. Without receiving a response, Defendant Olona stated, 'I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them. What the IUD does is take the fertilized egg and pushes it out of the uterus.'


"Defendant Olona stated, 'Everyone in the office always laughs and tells me I pull these out on purpose because I am against them, but it's not true, they accidentally come out when I tug.'

"At this point, Defendant Olona advised that (the plaintiff) needed to take a pregnancy test. (The plaintiff) did, and the test was negative.
"Defendant Olona told (the plaintiff) that is was better that she did not have the IUD because she could now use a "non-abortion" form of contraception. Defendant Olona suggested the deprovera (depo) [sic] shot or the pill, and made clear that she would not insert a new IUD."

The plaintiff demands damages for battery, constitutional violations and negligence. She is represented by Ryan Villa with the Law Office of Robert Cooper.

 

[Pure]

note

we shouldn't forget that fundies, so called are maybe 10 percent. and if you throw in evangelicals, 'born agains', you might reach 25 percent or so, nationally.

that leaves a few million supposedly sane others just as responsible for the GWB phenom.

 

[Boxlicker101]

http://www.courthousenews.com/2009/..._IUD_Without_Permission_Then_Lectured_Her.htm

Courthouse News Service
Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Woman Says Anti-Abortion Nurse Removed IUD Without Permission, Then Lectured Her


ALBUQUERQUE (CN) - A clinic nurse first removed her intrauterine birth-control device without permission, the patient claims in a federal action, then told her that "having the IUD come out was a good thing," because "I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them."


The patient sued Presbyterian Medical Services Rio Rancho Family Health Center and nurse practitioner Sylvia Olona in Federal Court.
The plaintiff says she went to Rio Rancho to have the strings on her IUD shortened.

The complaint states: "As soon as Defendant Olona began speaking to (the plaintiff), she questioned her about her choice of contraception.

"As Defendant Olona began the procedure, (the plaintiff) felt Olona pull on the strings of the IUD. (The plaintiff) felt a distinct pulling on the strings followed by a sharp pain in her uterus similar to a very strong menstrual cramp.

"As that happened, Defendant Olona stated, 'Uh oh, I accidentally pulled out your IUD. I gently tugged and out it came.' She then explained, 'I cut the string than went back and gently pulled and out it came. It must have not been in properly.'

"Olona then stated, 'having the IUD come out was a good thing.' She asked (the plaintiff) if she wanted to hear her 'take' on the situation. Without receiving a response, Defendant Olona stated, 'I personally do not like IUDs. I feel they are a type of abortion. I don't know how you feel about abortion, but I am against them. What the IUD does is take the fertilized egg and pushes it out of the uterus.'


"Defendant Olona stated, 'Everyone in the office always laughs and tells me I pull these out on purpose because I am against them, but it's not true, they accidentally come out when I tug.'

"At this point, Defendant Olona advised that (the plaintiff) needed to take a pregnancy test. (The plaintiff) did, and the test was negative.
"Defendant Olona told (the plaintiff) that is was better that she did not have the IUD because she could now use a "non-abortion" form of contraception. Defendant Olona suggested the deprovera (depo) [sic] shot or the pill, and made clear that she would not insert a new IUD."

The plaintiff demands damages for battery, constitutional violations and negligence. She is represented by Ryan Villa with the Law Office of Robert Cooper.

I hope they nail that bitch NP to the wall, and her employer too, for not firing her a long time ago. Apparently, she does this all the time.

 

[rgraham666]

Here's a little incident I just heard about today although it happened a few years ago.

Girl suspended from school for 'practicing witchcraft'.

No, seriously.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Here's a little incident I just heard about today although it happened a few years ago.

Girl suspended from school for 'practicing witchcraft'.

No, seriously.

When I was in elementary school, the same kind of thing would have happened to anybody who had displayed a symbol such as that and, probably to anybody who had been an adherent of any religion but Christian or Jewish. Even the latter would have been suspect. That was about the same time that "under God" was inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance. The US Constitution was still the law of the land, but sometimes it was ignored and, apparently still is, or was in 2001.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Defendant Olona stated, 'Everyone in the office always laughs and tells me I pull these out on purpose because I am against them, but it's not true, they accidentally come out when I tug.'

They accidentally come out when she tugs? As in, she does this often? And she never learns from it?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

They accidentally come out when she tugs? As in, she does this often? And she never learns from it?

Yeah. Right.

Oops, I just punched you in the face! How did THAT happen!?

 

[JackLuis]

Here's a little incident I just heard about today although it happened a few years ago.

Girl suspended from school for 'practicing witchcraft'.

No, seriously.

Here is another serious Fundi group.

Thank God (which ever) that they are a long way from here!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

According to the bible, the Anti-Christ isn't going to be obviously evil. He's going to come as a great peacemaker who everyone's going to admire and follow. Then all his treaties and reconciliations will prove to be hollow. Everything will fall apart and Armageddon will occur.

The fundies must be shitting bricks over Obama.

 

[cloudy]

According to the bible, the Anti-Christ isn't going to be obviously evil. He's going to come as a great peacemaker who everyone's going to admire and follow. Then all his treaties and reconciliations will prove to be hollow. Everything will fall apart and Armageddon will occur.

The fundies must be shitting bricks over Obama.

Isn't he supposed to come from one of the middle east nations, though?

eta: They are shitting bricks. Too bad they don't actually read the bible, though, because the bible doesn't really describe the anti-christ (answering the question I asked above). Snopes' take on it all: Is Barack Obama the Anti-christ?

It's beyond ridiculous.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Isn't he supposed to come from one of the middle east nations, though?

Maybe they consider his middle name close enough?

 

[cloudy]

Maybe they consider his middle name close enough?

Nope, I was wrong. See my edit.

 

[Safe_Bet]

According to the bible, the Anti-Christ isn't going to be obviously evil. He's going to come as a great peacemaker who everyone's going to admire and follow. Then all his treaties and reconciliations will prove to be hollow. Everything will fall apart and Armageddon will occur.

The fundies must be shitting bricks over Obama.

I personally think we just went through 8 years of the Anti-Christ, but the dumb-ass was so inept that he fucked up the end of the world too!