self-acceptance

[redslady]

At a very young age I was put into a position of control and authority, a mantel that did not fit well. I was expected to be the strong one, the one in control, and as years past this is what I expected of myself as well. When the submissive side of me tried to raise her head, I would push her down. Now, with much inner searching and acceptance I realize that I can be strong as well as submissive, that the two do not have to be exclusive.

It is with the help of boards like this that I realized I am not crazy, and I am not alone in this search for myself. I want to thank everyone who posts here, from the mundane to the silly, from the incredibly introspective and the insightful; you have all helped me on this journey. I wish to say a special thank you to Eastern Sun, a woman I have grown to admire and respect, your words are so honest and powerful that you give strength to someone who had lost herself.

redslady

 

[Fuckette]

At a very young age I was put into a position of control and authority, a mantel that did not fit well. I was expected to be the strong one, the one in control, and as years past this is what I expected of myself as well. When the submissive side of me tried to raise her head, I would push her down. Now, with much inner searching and acceptance I realize that I can be strong as well as submissive, that the two do not have to be exclusive.

It is with the help of boards like this that I realized I am not crazy, and I am not alone in this search for myself. I want to thank everyone who posts here, from the mundane to the silly, from the incredibly introspective and the insightful; you have all helped me on this journey. I wish to say a special thank you to Eastern Sun, a woman I have grown to admire and respect, your words are so honest and powerful that you give strength to someone who had lost herself.

redslady

I understand where you are coming from. I would always attract males who were submissive because they saw me as being dominate in the public world, when what I needed was a strong dominate man to tuck me in at night.

When I finally found a man who understood me, he changed my life forever!

 

[Etoile]

I understand where you are coming from. I would always attract males who were submissive because they saw me as being dominant in the public world, when what I needed was a strong dominant man to tuck me in at night.

When I finally found a man who understood me, he changed my life forever!

Fixed that for you.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Fixed that for you.

Bless you

 

[naughtycakes]

At a very young age I was put into a position of control and authority, a mantel that did not fit well. I was expected to be the strong one, the one in control, and as years past this is what I expected of myself as well. When the submissive side of me tried to raise her head, I would push her down. Now, with much inner searching and acceptance I realize that I can be strong as well as submissive, that the two do not have to be exclusive.

It is with the help of boards like this that I realized I am not crazy, and I am not alone in this search for myself. I want to thank everyone who posts here, from the mundane to the silly, from the incredibly introspective and the insightful; you have all helped me on this journey. I wish to say a special thank you to Eastern Sun, a woman I have grown to admire and respect, your words are so honest and powerful that you give strength to someone who had lost herself.

redslady

You're not crazy! I know exactly where you're coming from; my story is quite similar. Rejoice in your new-found acceptance!

 

[intothewoods]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

 

[CutieMouse]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

The submissive men I've known have been similar - very very powerful/responsible in everyday life, and submissive in their relationships.

 

[ecstaticsub]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

I think it is absolutely true for me. Probably not the only reason but a big part of it.

especially true at this time...I am so tired of being in charge of everything, being responsible for everyone in my life.

But I don't think submission is a vacation from that it is just a different type of responsibility. It is just as much work (if not more) but different. That difference makes it desirable.

 

[00Syd]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

I understand the connection between being super responsible and in charge during the day, and then being submissive at night, and it makes a lot of sense. For me, its not such a conscious thing. I can't think of anything in my life that would make me desire submission as a reaction to it. But yeah, I've thought about that too, how many women site this as a reason for their desire to submit.

 

[Homburg]

The converse of this may be why I tend to avoid positions of responsibility in the daylit world. I get enough of being in charge in the way I want. I won't take orders on the job, but I don't want to give them either. I like my happy little in-the-field position where I might see my boss twice a year, and get an email from him maybe once a month.

Frankly, the biggest reason I can't stand having subordinates in the business is probably because I can't swat them when they fuck up.

 

[intothewoods]

The converse of this may be why I tend to avoid positions of responsibility in the daylit world. I get enough of being in charge in the way I want. I won't take orders on the job, but I don't want to give them either. I like my happy little in-the-field position where I might see my boss twice a year, and get an email from him maybe once a month.

Frankly, the biggest reason I can't stand having subordinates in the business is probably because I can't swat them when they fuck up.

Management is hard, I think. It's one of the toughest parts of my job, and definitely something I'm always looking to improve on. But I digress...

The counterbalance to having too much on my plate is definitely what drew me in at the outset. Not exactly having too many responsibilities at work or whatever, but wanting to have a master of the home (not Master in the M/s def), instead of feeling like it was up to me to be the leader.

 

[mylaceratedheart]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

Oh I'm completely guilty of this. I run my own business and although it's not rocketscience just being self employed in the current climate is often enough to give me sleepless nights. In addition, I just put in my tax return and that alone is enough to give me a heart attack (possibly immediately preceded by a machete attack on the wasteful UK government and my local council)

When I was at school, I once got voted most likely in my class to snap one day and go on a psychopathic murder spree.

 

[Netzach]

It is kind of funny how many people talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

I'm like Etoile with the red pen here.

 

[Netzach]

The converse of this may be why I tend to avoid positions of responsibility in the daylit world. I get enough of being in charge in the way I want. I won't take orders on the job, but I don't want to give them either. I like my happy little in-the-field position where I might see my boss twice a year, and get an email from him maybe once a month.

Frankly, the biggest reason I can't stand having subordinates in the business is probably because I can't swat them when they fuck up.

Yuh huh to all this.

Leave me alone is my mantra in hierarchies.

 

[BiBunny]

I'd say that taking on responsibilities vs. not taking on responsibilities is more of a Type A/Type B personality sort of thing than a dominant/submissive sort of thing. That's just a guess, though. I've known dominant people and submissive people on both ends of the spectrum, personally.

 

[intothewoods]

I'm like Etoile with the red pen here.

Ha ha - well I meant more around here on Lit.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

At a very young age I was put into a position of control and authority, a mantel that did not fit well. I was expected to be the strong one, the one in control, and as years past this is what I expected of myself as well. When the submissive side of me tried to raise her head, I would push her down. Now, with much inner searching and acceptance I realize that I can be strong as well as submissive, that the two do not have to be exclusive.

Sounds all very, very familiar. Exceot I still struggle with the acceptance part.



Working on it though. But I'm a tad stubborn. And I get spooked easily.

 

[redslady]

When I asked Him how to find someone I’ve spent my whole life burying, He smiled and said, “We just start digging.” He makes it sound so easy, and maybe as time goes on it will get easy, but for right now, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

 

[juene]

Balance, and other thoughts

A lot of the attraction of submission is the seeking after of balance. Ask any hooker that has ever worked a political convention and she will tell you how many of the so-called powerful elite want to crawl on the floor and be spanked.

Of course, if we are talking of politicians, they deserve to be spanked. Tarred and feathered and put in stocks on the public square, too. I am not a hooker, but I did tell her that if she works another political gathering to call me; I could quite cheerfully spank a politician or two.

With a baseball bat.

But I digress.

What was I posting about? Oh, yeah. Balance. And the appearance of conflict when a "strong woman submits".

I am sure I appear very dominant in everyday life, if one paid any attention. Phrases like "natural leader" and "nothing gets by her" are commonly used of me. None of that takes away from the submissive femaleness of who I also am. Strength and submission are not mutually exclusive terms. I see my submission as necessary when I am fully engaged in a relationship with my alpha dominant man, because he finds my submission necessary. I am very, very strong. Strong physically, intellectually, emotionally---good for me. All that means is that I need a male of my species that is stronger. Just because I know I have the desire to submit to my man doesn't mean I desire to submit to idiots and weaklings. My submission is a gift I give to my partner, because he deserves it. He has earned it from me, he continues to earn it from me, just as I earn his continuing fealty towards me. There is, or shouldn't be, anything taken for granted in a D/s relationship. If a couple wants to take each other for granted it is so much easier to do in a vanilla life. D/s requires a black belt in communication, and a great deal of self-knowledge. Know why you want this. Know why he wants it. Then talk, talk, talk.

Again, submission and strength are not axiomatic to being mutually exclusive. A female panther will submit to a male panther, but she is still a panther. A female bunny rabbit will submit to a male bunny rabbit, but she is still a bunny rabbit. And so is he. Panthers eat bunnies. For snacks.

Find your inner strength, and then submit it to the right species. If you are a female panther, don't expect to have a succesful coupling with a bunny rabbit.

And vice versa.



---juene.

Oh, and if we are correcting everyone's spelling, it's "cite" when you cite reasons, it's "site" when you want to go to the Literotica site on the web. usually, we know this, but just typo the wrong thing. I do it with "there" and "their" sometimes, even though I know full good and well which is witch.

 

[Netzach]

Actually a female panther, like most cats, will let a male mount her and fuck her stupid and then chase him far away and raise the kids in her own territory. Which she will staunchly defend from other panthers, the minute she's not in heat.

Because, if I'm remembering this correctly, he is programmed to basically be a genetic fucking machine and will eat his young.

The issue to me seems more one of relative compatibility than strength or lack thereof. I take a lunar new year kind of look at it - a female panther may be more compatible with a male wolverine or mastiff if you want to type people.

I think of my own submissive pairing as unicorn and virgin and I'm not the virgin. The virgin is a blond, but in this case a rather unremarkable to the naked eye nearing 50 dude. Contrary to thiose french tapestries it's not a question of dogs, sword power, or loud noises - simply being the right person, in the right place, in the right time, willing to speak so quietly that only the unicorn can hear, over a series of days, years if need be, till it comes to you and puts its head in your lap.

Also rabbits exist because they are as sexual as they are and they know what to avoid/evade. Not so lame when you think about the big picture.

 

[satindesire]

It is kind of funny how many women talk about submission as a reaction to having to be responsible for too much. I wonder if that's some giant reaction to too much multi-tasking or what.

Too many post it's, not enough anal plugs.

The converse of this may be why I tend to avoid positions of responsibility in the daylit world. I get enough of being in charge in the way I want. I won't take orders on the job, but I don't want to give them either. I like my happy little in-the-field position where I might see my boss twice a year, and get an email from him maybe once a month.

Frankly, the biggest reason I can't stand having subordinates in the business is probably because I can't swat them when they fuck up.

*dies* XDDD!

I'm like Etoile with the red pen here.

You can be my E. Edward Grey anytime.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm just curious about why female subs are supposed to want it "all," so to speak. I mean, that's cool if that's what someone wants. But if I want to dedicate my life to service and my creative pursuits, then I'm somehow a...bunny? And it's bad?

I'm confused.

 

[lilylicious]

rabbits exist because they are as sexual as they are and they know what to avoid/evade. Not so lame when you think about the big picture.

I'm pro bunny!