How To Find the Right Man?

[VeronicaSexie]

I am an attractive woman, I don't look my age. I am way past 40, but I hardly have a wrinkle. People think I look 35-40. I was told by a recent date, which I got by pursuing myself; that I am a very sweet, loving and giving person and a good lover. However I was not their type. I do not have the body of a model, however I am always working to improve myself physically and mentally. Plus I have a healthy sex drive and want to feel that intimacy with someone.

I am intelligent with a good career. We all have our quirks, and I know my downfalls. However, I have had many dates, even tried being with women. It seems the men in my life have not been the best to me, but I do not hold this against all men.

Why is it so hard to meet someone that you can have a physical and emotionally compatible relationship? I have not met anyone online that is trusting enough to believe what I say about myself is true or I think they would fly half way around the world to meet me. Especially some of the ones I have felt some strong bonds with.

I know being older than 25 does not help, however there are plenty of single guys out there from 35-45 or around that age group looking for someone.

I just wonder how to go about it, I have tried looking and tried NOT looking.

I welcome your thoughts!

( By the way, just having sex with tons of guys does not equal a relationship, so that would not be helpful to suggest! Besides, they just treat you like a slut afterwards whether they say it or not and I deserve respect, not that kind of treatment.)

 

[subwannabe]

It's hard to offer advice when we don't know more, like where do you live - big city, little city, suburbs, sticks, state? What line of work are you in? Many people meet through job experiences, activities, church, etc. You mentioned trying to find people online but have you pursued other methods much? You sound very sincere and a good catch but you must realize that the odds of finding that special someone from afar are remote at best but if it gives you any hope, I infact found someone special online from afar and we have been married several years now. The more you tell us of your situation the better advice we can give you. Don't give up and stay on offense. It will eventually pay off and I wish you the best of luck.

 

[ivantheterrible]

welcome to the club . although i am not looking for a man (grins). i am 43, separated, soon to be divorced, a bartender that doesn't make a whole lot of money, especially at this time of year. drive a POS toyota truck.
a lot of women look at me and have made passes at me, but i just couldn't get myself to get involved with them beyond just friends. i didn't even want to fuck them. some have actually gotten mad at me because of this.
now, even though there may be physical attraction, i want to get to know a womans heart, mind, spirit, BEFORE i would try to get to know her body.
and it isn't easy when most of the women i've attracted to me are actually under 35, sometimes under 30, or younger. i don't try, it just happens. maybe it is because i am a metal head, don't care what people think of me. try thinking about some big guy with a deer antler in one earlobe and a snapping turtle claw in the other, and has a half mohawk haircut.
one woman was a great kisser , but she is my age, but she has an ugly heart. very ugly heart. and i stopped that real quick.
a lot of women who have shown attraction to me at my age or older just look at the package, and think he's wild, i like him, but there just isn't enough there mentally, and spiritually between us to make anything happen. and can you imagine a metal head living with a country music fan? it wouldn't work.
find a man who wants to get to know your heart, mind and spirit FIRST. then let it guide itself.
but when it comes to sex, i want a woman who likes being a slut in bed, doesn't mind being a dirty girl. but i can guarentee, i wouldn't treat her like one in public. she would get nothing but kindness and respect, and gentleness from me there.
i don't know why guys who have a slut in bed think they need to treat her like shit in public.
but i am older, and i think, wiser , hopefully. and grew the hell up.

 

[BlueEyesEternal]

Have you considered attending a singles group from your local church? The way you describe yourself and your morals, you might have luck on eharmony as well.

I'm sure you probably know this, but just in case...when a guy says you are great, but just not their type, from my experience, is usually code for they wish you were thinner. I know it's shallow, but men like Ivan are the exception, not the rule. Try to take an active role on this front and you should have an easier time appearing as more than a friend to guys.

 

[ivantheterrible]

i'm actually shocked. i don't know why, but i am. thanks dude.
don't think i was always like this. in the past i was a bit of an ass. and only looked at women as a potential piece of ass.
but i ran into a young lady recently (we didn't develop a relationship beyond friends who love each other) who had been used, abused, and treated badly in the past. and then i learned that every woman out there is still someone's little girl who needs to be held and listened to. even those tough exterior ones.
i am going through a divorce, but it is because we have personality conflicts that both of us were too stubborn to admit to.

 

[VeronicaSexie]

Have you considered attending a singles group from your local church? The way you describe yourself and your morals, you might have luck on eharmony as well.

I'm sure you probably know this, but just in case...when a guy says you are great, but just not their type, from my experience, is usually code for they wish you were thinner. I know it's shallow, but men like Ivan are the exception, not the rule. Try to take an active role on this front and you should have an easier time appearing as more than a friend to guys.

Actually, blue eyes I do realize that is a problem...and I have lost 20 lbs. And I am working on it. Seems unfair though that guys can have this beer gut and a bumper sticker that says NO fat chicks! I am not at all what you would call a BBW, just not thin.

However this was a female, that was more into the butch types and she said I was ultra feminine! LOL. I do know however that weight is a huge issue with white guys, and I am white. I could get a date with many other races for some reason, but I have been down that road once! It is too difficult to deal with all that negativity when relationships are hard enough!

The town I live in is small to me, about 50,000 and the next town over that I usually go out in is more like 350,000 or more and much more progressive. However, that is usually like a restaurant/bar kind of place.

I would feel like a hypocrite to go to a church to just join the singles group. I have not had much luck with those before, but I probably did not give it enough time I know. This is the bible belt. So to find open minded people is difficult. Here it is almost like there are only 2 classes of women, ho's and bible thumpers. Don't get me wrong I am a religious person, but just not a southern Baptist. That is worse than being Catholic. Don't want to get into a religious debate here though!

Obviously it does not matter what my career is, but let's just say a highly respected profession.

Thanks for your thoughts, I truly appreciate them and have not had time to read through them completely but just had to respond to this issue.

 

[VeronicaSexie]

*ATTENTION SEEKING BUMP* lol TALK TO ME GUYS

 

[mark_j]

I am an attractive woman, I don't look my age. I am way past 40, but I hardly have a wrinkle. People think I look 35-40. I was told by a recent date, which I got by pursuing myself; that I am a very sweet, loving and giving person and a good lover. However I was not their type. I do not have the body of a model, however I am always working to improve myself physically and mentally. Plus I have a healthy sex drive and want to feel that intimacy with someone.

I am intelligent with a good career. We all have our quirks, and I know my downfalls. However, I have had many dates, even tried being with women. It seems the men in my life have not been the best to me, but I do not hold this against all men.

Why is it so hard to meet someone that you can have a physical and emotionally compatible relationship? I have not met anyone online that is trusting enough to believe what I say about myself is true or I think they would fly half way around the world to meet me. Especially some of the ones I have felt some strong bonds with.

I know being older than 25 does not help, however there are plenty of single guys out there from 35-45 or around that age group looking for someone.

I just wonder how to go about it, I have tried looking and tried NOT looking.

I welcome your thoughts!

( By the way, just having sex with tons of guys does not equal a relationship, so that would not be helpful to suggest! Besides, they just treat you like a slut afterwards whether they say it or not and I deserve respect, not that kind of treatment.)

Have you ever considered that the type of guy you might be looking for is exactly the type you probably have ignored or dismissed because they didn't have something that piqued your interest in the first 30 seconds?

 

[VeronicaSexie]

It's hard to offer advice when we don't know more, like where do you live - big city, little city, suburbs, sticks, state? What line of work are you in? Many people meet through job experiences, activities, church, etc. You mentioned trying to find people online but have you pursued other methods much? You sound very sincere and a good catch but you must realize that the odds of finding that special someone from afar are remote at best but if it gives you any hope, I infact found someone special online from afar and we have been married several years now. The more you tell us of your situation the better advice we can give you. Don't give up and stay on offense. It will eventually pay off and I wish you the best of luck.

Hi Subwannabe,

Thanks for the response. Kind of off the subject, but I have no understanding of why anyone would want to be a sub. I guess I am too independent, and I don't like to be in a cage, collared or bossed around. I guess to each his own. I do like light bondage, but it would have to come off if I asked for it to.

Anyway, I do live in a relatively small, narrow minded bible belt town. However I am not far from a very large town. I find that guys are guys no matter where they live. I am a professional that works in a woman ruled profession and the chances of meeting someone at work are rare. The guys that ususally work in my profession are either definitely gay or married. No kidding! I have struggled with a lot of married guys that I have had crushes on.

Thanks for answering!

 

[SweetErika]

I'm closer to 30 (although I don't think that's terribly relevant), but I don't have trouble meeting men even though I'm voluptuous and married. It's true there are a lot of assholes out there and it definitely takes some searching to find the gems, but I've done fine specifically looking for nice guys. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but that's fine.

Your comment about submissives and a few other things makes me wonder if you're being too judgmental or not casting your net wide enough or something. Is that possible?

Also, you said "I have not met anyone online that is trusting enough to believe what I say about myself is true or I think they would fly half way around the world to meet me." Are you offering to verify you are who you are through photos, webcam, phone/voicechat, meeting for coffee within a few weeks, etc.? Are you looking for men in your area/state, or ones who live far away?

What sites have you been looking on? Are your ads detailed and accurate? Do you have flattering, accurate pics up? Have you asked a trusted friend or three to look over your ad and give you their honest impressions/constructive criticism? Do you look through profiles and actively contact those you feel would be a good match, or just wait for people to contact you?

Have you tried seeking friends/activity partners and then seeing if it develops into more over time, or maybe they know someone you might like?

 

[VeronicaSexie]

Have you ever considered that the type of guy you might be looking for is exactly the type you probably have ignored or dismissed because they didn't have something that piqued your interest in the first 30 seconds?

No, I haven't mark_j. Why would you think that?

 

[mark_j]

No, I haven't mark_j. Why would you think that?

It is a generalized pattern...the nice guy syndrome...

 

[VeronicaSexie]

I'm closer to 30 (although I don't think that's terribly relevant), but I don't have trouble meeting men even though I'm voluptuous and married. It's true there are a lot of assholes out there and it definitely takes some searching to find the gems, but I've done fine specifically looking for nice guys. I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but that's fine.

Your comment about submissives and a few other things makes me wonder if you're being too judgmental or not casting your net wide enough or something. Is that possible?

Also, you said "I have not met anyone online that is trusting enough to believe what I say about myself is true or I think they would fly half way around the world to meet me." Are you offering to verify you are who you are through photos, webcam, phone/voicechat, meeting for coffee within a few weeks, etc.? Are you looking for men in your area/state, or ones who live far away?

What sites have you been looking on? Are your ads detailed and accurate? Do you have flattering, accurate pics up? Have you asked a trusted friend or three to look over your ad and give you their honest impressions/constructive criticism? Do you look through profiles and actively contact those you feel would be a good match, or just wait for people to contact you?

Have you tried seeking friends/activity partners and then seeing if it develops into more over time, or maybe they know someone you might like?

You look very attractive from what I can tell and nothing is wrong with voluptuous. Your age may be a factor, plus I think that maybe since you are married, it takes that pressure off guys to think that they may have to commit to you at some point.

Yes my ads are very detailed and accurate, and I do offer to meet for coffee or drinks, and I look nearby, however the ones that appeal to me most do happen to be too far away. I have talked to many on the phone. They come to me, I don't email them first. I would rather not say what sites I have been on, and basically right now I am only on this one. I have had lots of experiences with dating sites for the last 3 years. I do try to meet people for friends first.

I don't have a webcam, but have chatted on the phone, and also found men that are very secretive.

The reason I said what I did about submissives is because to me it is degrading to the sub...male or female. Some people are into that, but I don't need to be. And no, I am very open minded and not judgmental.

Maybe I am defensive, but you seem to be accusing me of being at fault. I obviously just don't appeal to the ones I am attracted to. I refuse to settle, so I may just be alone. I think that it is some great guy's loss or maybe we have just not found each other yet. It seems I have waited an awful long time though.

 

[Noor]

1) Tell everyone you are looking for a nice guy, even those guy & married guys at work, I am sure they know straight unmarried guys too!

2) go on blind dates from friends, but don't have sex with them unless you are both each others type.

3) If someone isn't your type, try to match them with someone who is. If someone tells you that you are sweet but not their type, ask them if they know someone who would be a better match with you.

4) Make more friends. everyone has unattached male friends and relatives they could be introducing you to.

5) You don't really understand submissiveness, so I would stay away from that as a topic, esp. around here. Whatever people agree to within their relationship is their agreement, and make no mistake its agreement with two equal sides.

6) You may not look your age, I am told I don't but you are your age. Guys much younger or older will not be in the same place in life as you, that is a serious consideration.

7) Waiting for them to come to you seems kind of passive to me. You need to be proactive. I am curious what you ads say.

 

[ivantheterrible]

Actually, blue eyes I do realize that is a problem...and I have lost 20 lbs. And I am working on it. Seems unfair though that guys can have this beer gut and a bumper sticker that says NO fat chicks! .

that is SO true. but i have seen it the other way around too.
don't get me wrong, in any relationship at the very beginning there is some kind of physical attraction. it's that old evolution primal brain thing. whether it is "nice hair" , "nice eyes", " nice body" , etc..
but when it gets right down to it, no matter how good a person looks, there can be a very ugly heart under it all. then there are personality conflicts, etc..
us humans are very complicated animals. we are given messages of the primal. then there is the emotional. and the socialisation that we LEARN from society in general whether through our parents, or the media, or peers.
after i learned a lot of things about myself i had to deal with the pain i had inflicted on others around me. i couldn't ask them to forgive me. i had to learn to forgive MYSELF.
i am still learning to adjust to this new me, this adult me, this me that has learned to feel with his heart and try to ignore his brain and genitals.
i have young friends who refer to all women , except their mothers and grandmothers, etc., as bitches and "hos". and when i hear it, i want to ask them, if that was your daughter, mother, grandmother, or aunts, would you let someone say that about them. but how can i force that on them? it would be like trying to teach a pig to sing.
what i have learned about myself i chalk it all up to getting to know "wolfgirl". she may never be in my life ever again. but i learned a lot from the short time i was around her.
i know my posts are long. i apologize.

 

[ivantheterrible]

The town I live in is small to me, about 50,000 and the next town over that I usually go out in is more like 350,000 or more and much more progressive. However, that is usually like a restaurant/bar kind of place.

I would feel like a hypocrite to go to a church to just join the singles group. I have not had much luck with those before, but I probably did not give it enough time I know. This is the bible belt. So to find open minded people is difficult. Here it is almost like there are only 2 classes of women, ho's and bible thumpers. Don't get me wrong I am a religious person, but just not a southern Baptist. That is worse than being Catholic. Don't want to get into a religious debate here though!

.

sorry to repost so soon. but what you have to say is similar to my problem. but probably more so. i live near a town with maybe 2,000 people in it, and another with maybe 9,000 in it. i could never go to a church. i am not a christian, never have been , and never will be. i am an eclectic pagan.
the local pagan groups tend to be dominated by the wishy washy feel good hippy drippy new age crowd. where they actually tell you to be a vegetarian, do not hunt, and the pursuit of money is a good thing. and i can't get into that without being a hypocrit just to meet a new woman.
a lot of the women around here , not all, but a lot, seem to be into more about if a guy has a lot of money or at least a really good job. have a nice car. etc.. even if there is an attraction going on at first. and tend to be very "redneck". and i won't go there. they have fairly closed minds when it comes to society, sex, and relationships. and i won't put myself into that situation.
it is difficult to be single in this area if you are not willing to compromise your beliefs.

 

[klippert]

my advice....

Don't look for the right man....you may never find what your looking for.....when your with him you will know....BUT, Don't look!

 

[VeronicaSexie]

sorry to repost so soon. but what you have to say is similar to my problem. but probably more so. i live near a town with maybe 2,000 people in it, and another with maybe 9,000 in it. i could never go to a church. i am not a christian, never have been , and never will be. i am an eclectic pagan.
the local pagan groups tend to be dominated by the wishy washy feel good hippy drippy new age crowd. where they actually tell you to be a vegetarian, do not hunt, and the pursuit of money is a good thing. and i can't get into that without being a hypocrit just to meet a new woman.
a lot of the women around here , not all, but a lot, seem to be into more about if a guy has a lot of money or at least a really good job. have a nice car. etc.. even if there is an attraction going on at first. and tend to be very "redneck". and i won't go there. they have fairly closed minds when it comes to society, sex, and relationships. and i won't put myself into that situation.
it is difficult to be single in this area if you are not willing to compromise your beliefs.

Thanks Ivan for sharing all that with me. It seems we do have the same dilemma, even with you and I being the opposite sexes. It is true that no matter how good a person looks they can have an ugly heart and then that makes them look ugly to me. My ex was a very good looking guy, but his nasty ways made him look ugly and he still looks ugly to me. Same for women and anyone. Looks can only get you so far in a relationship. If you date someone more than a few times, it is a relationship whether you want to think that or not.

I am glad you have the person in your life that has helped you to see the error of your ways, whatever they were. You can however ask people to forgive you also. They can choose to accept your apology or not.

My son is one of those guys that calls women ho's. When he has a daughter I will ask him how he would feel about some asshole calling her that. One of my pet peeves is the double standard with men and women. Guys sleep around and they are just guys, and well we know the other side...

And to "klipper" I stated before that I am not actively looking, I do get on this site, and from previous people I have met, they seem to come back to me. I feel like if I do meet the right one as you say, I will know it. I know I have felt some close bonds to some and it makes me want to get on a plane to find them, but I don't do that. Funny thing is they know I don't have the money and they don't offer, so screw em. I saw a woman on Dr. Phil that has traveled all over the world to meet "the guy" and is still single. She was very attractive, just a little older. I could say what my thoughts are, but I will hold back the negative thoughts on men, I am trying to change that.

Keep the ideas coming, I do appreciate all the comments, positive or negative. Of course I prefer to have a positive outlook, even after all the failed relationships or non-existent ones really that I have experienced.

for you Ivan!

 

[SweetErika]

The reason I said what I did about submissives is because to me it is degrading to the sub...male or female. Some people are into that, but I don't need to be. And no, I am very open minded and not judgmental.

From what you've said, you're basing your opinion on inaccurate information and a fundamental lack of understanding. If you were coming from an openminded, nonjudgmental place, you'd at least reserve judgment until you sought to understand.

That's neither here nor there, but I've found that a lot of people who make that type of judgment are not very open to other options or tend to have very narrow criteria for things like their mates. I don't know if that's true for you or not, but I'd think some serious introspection would be part of the plan of anyone who's having trouble in the dating world.

Maybe I am defensive, but you seem to be accusing me of being at fault. I obviously just don't appeal to the ones I am attracted to. I refuse to settle, so I may just be alone. I think that it is some great guy's loss or maybe we have just not found each other yet. It seems I have waited an awful long time though.

No, but I am trying to think of potential solutions for you. If you want to take that as accusative, that's your deal, but it's not how it was intended.

 

[subwannabe]

I have a few thoughts/observations/questions

1. This is usually a bad question to ask but maybe on this forum maybe it would be acceptable. How much do you weigh? A person who is some overweight really shouldn't have that much trouble attracting a real man, only a shallow man.

2. Have you always lived where you are? I get the feeling you are out of place where you are, like you relocated to this area. I have been there, done that and felt out of place.

3. What the heck is an "eclectic pagan"? Maybe this makes you feel out of place in the bible belt but the fact is you would be out of place in most all parts of the country. This could be your major obstacle from finding Mr. Right, especially in the bible belt. The fact is you are looking for a good man but most good men are either going to be at least a little religious or they are not going to be an "eclectic pagan". I know what you mean about being out of place and feeling like a hypocrite. I am not religious myself and feel like a hypocrite whenever I do go to some kind of church - BUT - I would not date an "eclectic pagan".

4. I got the impression from your earlier posts that you were a professional woman and seemed to be doing fairly well for yourself but one of your later posts mentioned you couldn't afford a plane ticket somewhere. So, even though you might be doing ok for yourself, and a professional, maybe you're not as good a catch financially as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing or judging you, merely trying to point out areas which could help your understanding of your situation maybe a little bit better. I still wish you the best of luck.

 

[VeronicaSexie]

I have a few thoughts/observations/questions

1. This is usually a bad question to ask but maybe on this forum maybe it would be acceptable. How much do you weigh? A person who is some overweight really shouldn't have that much trouble attracting a real man, only a shallow man.

2. Have you always lived where you are? I get the feeling you are out of place where you are, like you relocated to this area. I have been there, done that and felt out of place.

3. What the heck is an "eclectic pagan"? Maybe this makes you feel out of place in the bible belt but the fact is you would be out of place in most all parts of the country. This could be your major obstacle from finding Mr. Right, especially in the bible belt. The fact is you are looking for a good man but most good men are either going to be at least a little religious or they are not going to be an "eclectic pagan". I know what you mean about being out of place and feeling like a hypocrite. I am not religious myself and feel like a hypocrite whenever I do go to some kind of church - BUT - I would not date an "eclectic pagan".

4. I got the impression from your earlier posts that you were a professional woman and seemed to be doing fairly well for yourself but one of your later posts mentioned you couldn't afford a plane ticket somewhere. So, even though you might be doing ok for yourself, and a professional, maybe you're not as good a catch financially as I originally thought.

Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing or judging you, merely trying to point out areas which could help your understanding of your situation maybe a little bit better. I still wish you the best of luck.

I appreciate the input subwannabe,

First I must clear up, I believe you were reading ivan's post. I AM NOT an eclectic pagan, whatever the hell that is! LOL By the way, don't feel like a hypocrit when you go to a church, there are plenty of hypocrits there for all reasons. No one in this world is perfect. They are no better than anyone else, although some do like to act as if they are.

You are right, financially I have not been doing that well, I have been out of work for a while, but I think a job is opening up soon for me. I burned out on hospital nursing and HAD to take a break. However, there have been 20 years of making GOOD money that did not help, and most guys don't seem concerned about my financial stability and I really do not think that is the issue.

Probably the main issue, is that I am on the heavy set side, but I am well put together. Only my doctor knows my weight. My sister won't even tell me what she weighs! LOL. And she has lost 60 lbs. I have lost 20 lbs in a month and do foresee that I will be getting the weight off, which I guarantee, I will get tons of dates then. I have even had men tell me that. So shallow! A beautiful skinny woman can be a mega bitch to live with, so you get what you ask for in that case.

You are perceptive that I am misplaced, I am not from here, nor do I like it. I do like the next town over which is much larger and am planning to move there when I hopefully get this job there. This town has a lot of "redneck, pick up truck driving, tobacco chewing types" To each his own.

I think once I get the weight off I think my problem might improve, and I cannot wait if I ever get the opportunity to tell off guys who previously turned me away, etc.

Thanks again!

 

[NippleMuncher]

and then i learned that every woman out there is still someone's little girl who needs to be held and listened to. even those tough exterior ones.

To be quite honest, this applies to both women and men. Quite often, that "strong" exterior is hiding the soft gushy side that needs to be hugged and held.

VeronicaSexie, we all have trouble finding that "perfect" mate. Some are lucky, some make due, most of us have that void that goes unfulfilled because we aren't able to find that just right someone. As cliche' as it may sound, your strength comes from within. Being a strong individual, sure of yourself, comfortable with yourself and being by yourself will carry you. That is not to say that you abandon hope or the search for someone special, just that you don't give up your own power and self while searching.

 

[VeronicaSexie]

To be quite honest, this applies to both women and men. Quite often, that "strong" exterior is hiding the soft gushy side that needs to be hugged and held.

VeronicaSexie, we all have trouble finding that "perfect" mate. Some are lucky, some make due, most of us have that void that goes unfulfilled because we aren't able to find that just right someone. As cliche' as it may sound, your strength comes from within. Being a strong individual, sure of yourself, comfortable with yourself and being by yourself will carry you. That is not to say that you abandon hope or the search for someone special, just that you don't give up your own power and self while searching.

NippleMuncher I just had to tell you how much I love your AV, it is just perfect!!! I have certainly gotten some interesting responses. I think I am a strong person, and I intend to carry myself with my head held high and shoulders back and stop appearing desperate evidently. I hear that guys are intrigued when you ignore them, although that is really not my personality.

For some reason, I have not give up hope, and I do think things happen when they are supposed to and for a reason. Basically, I am just tired of being lonely.

 

[VeronicaSexie]

I apologize

If I have hurt someone by being judgmental on here, I certainly do not mean to be. I think many, many people are extremely judgmental therefore I really try not to be. I will say that I am surprised that I have been told here anything from hopeful encouragement to various reasons as to how what I am doing is wrong.

As I said above, I think it will happen when it is meant to, and I am going to go about the business of working and constantly work at improving myself. I was just looking for suggestions. Thanks for all the ideas and again I apologize if anyone was hurt. This is in a response to a PM I got.

Kisses to all...

 

[Hanon435]

i've been looking for a lady for a few years now. no luck.

*peeks outside, knows there must be women out there*