Sex as a form of discipline

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I wonder what the BDSM readership think of my idea on sex being utilised as a means of discipline. I believe that a Master can use sex as an effective tool in training a submissive girl, in fact as important a tool as corporal punishment. Used correctly it can also be a useful tool to work out of a girl any wilfulness or fight and assist her become more perfectly submissive.

The method that I am going to outline I derived from John Norman’s Gor novels to some extent, with some changes of my own. I refer to it as a Submissive Controlled Rape. Now rape is obviously quite an emotive word, and is an extremely unpleasant crime. Submissive Controlled Rape, however, differs in that the victim (the submissive) is actually complicit in what takes place and allows and assists it. In doing so it promotes discipline in her and assists her learn to gain her sexual pleasure primarily from serving her master’s will.

Basically it involves the following: Both Master and slave girl should be naked on a bed. The girl should be wearing straps on her wrists with spring clips attached and ideally the straps should be softly lined so that she can struggle without hurting herself when secured. Two chains should be attached to the headboard of the bed, and rest on the pillow at either side of the girl’s head, to which, when ready, the clips on her wrist straps can be secured.

There should be a suitable amount of foreplay to begin. Whilst the Master is gently massaging the girl’s clit during this foreplay he should provide her with the following instructions:

‘You will obey immediately and without question the following three commands during our session. Firstly when given the command “resist” you will struggle to attempt to prevent me entering you, or if I have entered you to get me out. You may only use your hands and you must not move from lying on your back other than to move your hips from side to side to attempt to dislodge me if I am in you. When you resist you may not use any other methods of resisting such as any kind of violent resistance, just your hands. You must also have your legs spread wide and knees lifted high, and must not move them from this position whilst resisting. And finally you may not remove the straps from your wrists without permission and may not touch the clips attached to them when resisting without permission. Secondly, when I give you the command “surrender” you will place your hands at the sides of your head on the pillow and hold that position. You must not move from that position until you are given permission no matter how much you wish to do so. Lastly when you are given the command “submit” you will put your arms around my shoulders and clutch at me tightly, and as you do so you will say to me that you submit to me as your Master. You will continue to repeat this slowly and continue to clutch at me until you are given another command.’

Once these instructions have been provided the Master should then assume a missionary position on the girl. After first ensuring that her knees are raised high and legs spread wide so that her pussy is presented for use obediently the disciplining can then begin. This can either involve instructing the girl to “resist” immediately or commanding her to “surrender” and entering her, and then commanding her to resist.

The Master should then aim to toy with the girl, allowing her to successfully defend her pussy for a while before removing her defences, either by pinning her hands above her and entering her, or by clipping one of the wrist straps to its chain so that she only has one free hand and then pinning that with a hand and using the free hand to enter her. She could then be permitted to struggle for a while again whilst being taken. This has the psychological effect of underlining to the girl who is in control.

Eventually after she has been toyed with for a suitable time she should be commanded to “surrender”, and both straps should be clipped to their chains so that she is helpless. She should then be instructed to “resist” again. Whilst she struggles helplessly with the restraints she should then be slowly entered and then slowly taken. It requires considerable self discipline for the Master in such an erotically charged power situation not to come prematurely, but ideally he should attempt not to do so and to take the slave for several minutes whilst she struggles with the restraints helplessly. The purpose of this is to slowly work out the girl’s fight and wilfulness in order to bring her to a deeper submission. The longer taken over this the better.

After she has been made to struggle uselessly for at least ten to fifteen minutes and her struggles are beginning to abate, even with continual reminders, she should then be instructed to “surrender” and be unclipped from the chains. She should then be taken for a few minutes in the “surrender” position. Ideally she should be held in that position and taken until she is to the point of begging for permission to move. She should not be given such permission immediately, however, in fact it would be beneficial to make her beg for permission to move and deny it to her for a time in order to build up the need still further. Only when the master senses that the girl is on the brink of a submission orgasm should she be given permission to move. The Master should then hold her tight and close and move in her quickly to get her to her submission orgasm. When on the brink she should then be given the command “submit”, so that as she climaxes she will be clutching in full submission to her Master.

If this technique is used regularly by a Master with a slave girl she will become more deeply submissive and well mastered. It should be used particularly if a girl has been noted to be wilful or disobedient in order to work out of her any independent tendencies.

Any comments? Any similar ideas?
 
That's a pretty monumental post from a seeming newcomer. I, personally, would never use sex for training. Everyone's D/s relationship is different, but mine is always based on love. Sex and love are extremely mixed in whatever form lovemaking takes. I would never want someone to perform out of habit, which your situation would enforce, rather than make it a of choice.

I want every time I ask someone to submit to be a choice. Every time someone allows me entrance into them should be a gift. If it's just orders, if it's just a learned command, there's no joy for me. There is no difference in a lifeless sex toy and an emotionless slave.

Each time needs to be an affirmation that you care for her and she cares for you. Each time she needs to allow you into her because you've shown her love and attention. This makes each time special, makes her hunger for more, makes lust and love one emotion.

A partner that knows her role is infinitely sexier than a dog that knows its place.
 
That's a pretty monumental post from a seeming newcomer. I, personally, would never use sex for training. Everyone's D/s relationship is different, but mine is always based on love. Sex and love are extremely mixed in whatever form lovemaking takes. I would never want someone to perform out of habit, which your situation would enforce, rather than make it a of choice.

I want every time I ask someone to submit to be a choice. Every time someone allows me entrance into them should be a gift. If it's just orders, if it's just a learned command, there's no joy for me. There is no difference in a lifeless sex toy and an emotionless slave.

Each time needs to be an affirmation that you care for her and she cares for you. Each time she needs to allow you into her because you've shown her love and attention. This makes each time special, makes her hunger for more, makes lust and love one emotion.

A partner that knows her role is infinitely sexier than a dog that knows its place.
:rolleyes:
 
. . . I want every time I ask someone to submit to be a choice. Every time someone allows me entrance into them should be a gift. If it's just orders, if it's just a learned command, there's no joy for me. . .

I don't think I could have said it any better. If it's not given to me freely, I don't want it.
 
If it works for you and yours, carry on.

I'm just curious, though. What's a "submission orgasm"?
 
About what? I want sex discipline now!
I'm forwarding the original post to my Master. There will discipline this weekend. :D

I'm not sure how this is using sex as a form of discipline. It looks more like training. Well, I guess you could see training as a form of discipline, but, erm, I am still confused.
 
I'm not sure how this is using sex as a form of discipline. It looks more like training. Well, I guess you could see training as a form of discipline, but, erm, I am still confused.
Call it what you want. I'll tell him it's punishment and we'll both be very satisfied. Hey, I'm always looking for something new and this seems like a distracting lark for the weekend. ;)
 
my Daddy does this with me. Not just like you say though. No chains are needed or anything nor does he command me to resist. He just fucks me so long and hard until i finally go past being able to be submissively obedient and i do resist because it is so painful. He tends to pound various parts of my pussy repeatedly for long periods until they are extremely swollen and sore. He will pick a spot and keep going. i have a feeling he watches for some sort of cycle in me to occur but i am not that aware of it. i submit obediently, then resist because it is so painful though not very hard. He keeps going though while i am fighting; gently telling me not to complain and even kissing me and thanking me until i surrender almost out of physical and emotional exhaustion. He does tell me to do things which i think would be similar to your "submit" command like to give myself to him and to put my arms around him and kiss him.

i can get very caught up in being obedient and it can actually get in the way of being able to let go and be truly his.

Long story short... yes sex can be used as an effective discipline tool. It is the primary tool my Daddy uses and definitely the most effective one for me personally. Other forms just do not get at my core.
 
I'm in the "confused about how this is discipline" camp.

Training, yes, although I'm not sure how useful it all is. If my girl needs to resist, I want it to be full contact, no holds barred. She has a scalpel-sharp knife I gave her for the purpose, and trained her to use. The rest seems like orgasm training, which I'm sure that a lot of us have done.

But, then again, I'm not from planet Gor.
 
<Sigh> The word "discipline" does not always connote "punishment," though many people use it almost exclusively in that connotation.

From Wikepedia:


"In its most general sense, discipline refers to systematic instruction given to a disciple. This sense also preserves the origin of the word, which is Latin disciplina "instruction", from the root discere "to learn," and from which discipulus "disciple, pupil" also derives.

To discipline thus means to instruct a person or animal to follow a particular code of conduct, or to adhere to a certain "order." Consequently, "in the field of child development, discipline refers to methods of modeling character and of teaching self-control and acceptable behavior." So for example, to discipline a child to wash her/his hands before meals. Here, 'washing hands before meals' is a particular pattern of behaviour, and the child is being disciplined to adopt that pattern. 'To disciple' also gives rise to the word disciplinarian, which denotes a person who enforces order. An ideal disciplinarian is one who can enforce order without coercion for "family specialists agree that using physical force, threats and put-downs can interfere with a child's healthy development." Usually however, the phrase 'to discipline' carries a negative connotation. This is because enforcement of order - that is, ensuring instructions are carried out - is often regulated through punishment.cf.

To be disciplined is then, subject to context, either a virtue (the ability to follow instructions well) or a euphemism for punishment (which may also be referred to as disciplinary procedure). As a concrete noun, the discipline refers to an instrument of punishment, for example in mortification of the flesh (see also: flagellation). Such an instrument may also be applied to oneself, for example in penitence for not being sufficiently self-disciplined."​

Clear now?
 
<Sigh> The word "discipline" does not always connote "punishment," though many people use it almost exclusively in that connotation...

Clear now?

I'd looked it up on Webster's the other day, when pondering this thread.

Pronunciation:
\ˈdi-sə-plən\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
Date:
13th century

1: punishment
2 (obsolete): instruction
3: a field of study
4: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a: control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c: self-control
6: a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

I think that most people in BDSM go by definition #1, and if we accept #2 as obsolete, #5a would seem closest - and yet that still mentions enforcement. Maybe #6 if you expect them to accept that mode of conduct as a standing order?

Particle physics is a discipline, too, but I don't think that's what we're usually referring to in BDSM.
 
I'm in the "confused about how this is discipline" camp.

Training, yes, although I'm not sure how useful it all is. If my girl needs to resist, I want it to be full contact, no holds barred. She has a scalpel-sharp knife I gave her for the purpose, and trained her to use. The rest seems like orgasm training, which I'm sure that a lot of us have done.

But, then again, I'm not from planet Gor.

A lot of replies appear to involve analysis or deconstruction of what is referred to by the word 'discipline'. Basically I believe that regular sex in the manner described teaches a slave more than just a routine, like a form of 'training'. It instills an attitude of love and delight in obedience in a girl towards her Master. It reinforces an attitude of submission and a delight in it. This is not training.

I feel that people are being a bit pedantic in deconstructing the word. It could just as easily have been done with its use in other areas, such as describing spanking as a form of discipline. How is the word discipline appropriately used for cp? To me spanking can be used as a form of discipline in that it also instill an attitude of submission through repetative controlled behaviour (ie. obediently taking a spanking), however in this case it is associated with pain rather than pleasure.
 
About what? I want sex discipline now!
I'm forwarding the original post to my Master. There will discipline this weekend. :D

Lucky Master. If he does it right he should make your toes curl. Remember to try to struggle for as long as you can. Let him work it out of you, and it will make your eventual inevitable submission to him and your climax more intense.
 
A lot of replies appear to involve analysis or deconstruction of what is referred to by the word 'discipline'. Basically I believe that regular sex in the manner described teaches a slave more than just a routine, like a form of 'training'. It instills an attitude of love and delight in obedience in a girl towards her Master. It reinforces an attitude of submission and a delight in it. This is not training.

That's what it does to me and it does not have to be as formal as laid out by the OP. It is a way to break through to a slave's core that i think is very healthy and creates a very unique and loving bond somewhat different than breaking a slave through the usual methods. When Daddy does this to me he also senses when i am getting overloaded and encourages me to cry and kisses my tears away all while he is continuing to pound me.

i am so very much His in those moments. He takes me and i give\surrender to him simultaneously. i miss it right now.
 
If it works for you and yours, carry on.

I'm just curious, though. What's a "submission orgasm"?

When you orgasm it is more than just a physical act, just like when you become sexually aroused it is more than just the physicality of it. It is also psychological and emotional.

For a sexual dom arousal is primarily associated with control of their sexual partner, and for a sub arousal is primarily associated with submission to their sexual partner. So following on from this the ideal orgasm for a dom should be in a place were control of the sub and her submission to him is maximized, and conversely her climax should ideally be attained only when her submission to her Master's control is maximized. Hence at that moment she is in a 'submission orgasm'. Or to quote John Norman's term for it, a 'slave orgasm'.
 
I'd looked it up on Webster's the other day, when pondering this thread.

Pronunciation:
\ˈdi-sə-plən\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
Date:
13th century

1: punishment
2 (obsolete): instruction
3: a field of study
4: training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a: control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c: self-control
6: a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

I think that most people in BDSM go by definition #1, and if we accept #2 as obsolete, #5a would seem closest - and yet that still mentions enforcement. Maybe #6 if you expect them to accept that mode of conduct as a standing order?

Particle physics is a discipline, too, but I don't think that's what we're usually referring to in BDSM.
I would tend to disagree with Webster's rather narrow-minded interpretation in #2 (especially in light of #3!), and incline more toward the Wiki explanation of that definition. However, as I previously said, most people tend to use "discipline" primarily as a euphemism for punishment, which is a bastardization of 5a, particularly in regard to the use of the word "enforcing." I think in the context of the original post, numbers 4, 5a, 5b, 5c and 6 are all at least part of the OP's intent - at least insofar as my understanding of the post, particularly if one substitutes "guideline" or "preferred behaviors" for the words "rule" and "rules."
 
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