Fortune Cookie Poetry

[darkmaas]

How to write a Fortune Cookie Poem

Step 1:

Saunter down to your nearest Chinese restaurant. Take a friend if you are feeling gregarious. (Alternately eat in by ordering take-out).


Step 2:

Enjoy your meal.


Step 3:

The last item in any Chinese meal is of course the fortune cookie. Firmly grasp your cookie and break it to free the small printed fortune. Enjoy the cookie and share your fortune with the rest of the company at the table. Pay the bill and tip generously (good karma).


Step 4:

Take the little slip of paper home and prepare to be poetic. If this requires a libation then please libate. (I might suggest something asian like Durian Schnapps either with ice or just a splash of water). Take out your slip of paper and type out the fortune on the first line of your page. It will look something like this:

A polite man is always lucky


Step 5:

Add the following: 'in bed' or if you wish to shuck the flannels 'naked in bed'. The result should look like:

A polite man is always lucky in bed

This is the title of your poem. It is also the dominant theme of your poem.


Step 6:

Write the rest of the poem using the title verbatim somewhere in the poem. Enjambment is allowed if your fortune is long or you wish to show off. The poem should be erotic if not downright pervy. (Kudos if you can make bijou pucker in spite of the fibre.)


Step 7:

Post your poem here then wait patiently for the screams of adulation pour in.



Seems easy enough to me. Enjoy.



::

 

[Angeline]

I think I'll forgo the Durian schnapps--maybe some almond liquor over ice instead--but I did find a handy little fortune cookie widget. Sadly it's rather ad heavy, but it does work well.

 

[champagne1982]

I think I'll forgo the Durian schnapps--maybe some almond liquor over ice instead--but I did find a handy little fortune cookie widget. Sadly it's rather ad heavy, but it does work well.

LOL Ange. I decided that sometimes a girl just doesn't wanna go out and eat Chinese so I found this Fortune Cookies Site via Google. It's quicker and a little less popuppish...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Bring something up from the back burner in bed ?!!!! My dirty mind is working overtime on that one! Ahhhhh perhaps this one is better .... Your fortune is as sweet as you are in bed

 

[Angeline]

LOL Ange. I decided that sometimes a girl just doesn't wanna go out and eat Chinese so I found this Fortune Cookies Site via Google. It's quicker and a little less popuppish...

Thank you love. I was sure there was a better site out there, but the SNL election bash was about to start and uh we were glued to the telly.

 

[WickedEve]

I have a box of stale fortune cookies. I bought them at a local dollar store. Damn. Should have known better. lol Before I throw the box away, I'll open the cookies and find some fortunes.

First one is for Annie: Good luck is a hop, skip and jump away... in bed.

Next, I have one for champy: Bide your time, for success is near... in bed.

Oh, and for Ange: Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing... in bed.

 

[Angeline]

I have a box of stale fortune cookies. I bought them at a local dollar store. Damn. Should have known better. lol Before I throw the box away, I'll open the cookies and find some fortunes.

First one is for Annie: Good luck is a hop, skip and jump away... in bed.

Next, I have one for champy: Bide your time, for success is near... in bed.

Oh, and for Ange: Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing... in bed.

Thanks a bunch.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I have a box of stale fortune cookies. I bought them at a local dollar store. Damn. Should have known better. lol Before I throw the box away, I'll open the cookies and find some fortunes.

First one is for Annie: Good luck is a hop, skip and jump away... in bed.

Next, I have one for champy: Bide your time, for success is near... in bed.

Oh, and for Ange: Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing... in bed.

Rofllll

 

[champagne1982]

tee hee

Thanks Evie... how about one for you?

Use proven methods, avoid shortcuts... in bed.

 

[Shwenn]

(I might suggest something asian like Durian Schnapps either with ice or just a splash of water).

Oh my god! Do you know Durian? Do you know it personally?

I lived in Singapore for seven years, from 11 to 18 years of age. I've been trying to explain Durian to people ever since.

Nobody even believes you about the smell much less the taste.

It's like having alien abduction memories, having lived amongst Durian.

 

[darkmaas]

Do I know durian? My dear, I do indeed. The smell is unpleasant but manageable, the taste is suitable for a "Fear Factor" challenge, but the mouth feel just trips the gastric valves for me. Who needs 8 oz of blueberry yogurt when a tsp of durian will suffice.

 

[Shwenn]

Right. The smell itself isn't so very bad. There are far worse smells.

But it's like skunk. It's the sheer magnitude, the power of it. It reaches far and wide and just won't go away. It clings to the air itself with a death grip.

 

[WickedEve]

tee hee

Thanks Evie... how about one for you?

Use proven methods, avoid shortcuts... in bed.

I never use proven methods in bed! My bed methods are madness! Now shortcuts are okay.

 

[darkmaas]

Right. The smell itself isn't so very bad. There are far worse smells.

But it's like skunk. It's the sheer magnitude, the power of it. It reaches far and wide and just won't go away. It clings to the air itself with a death grip.

It's funny. Everyone seems to find a different stench. For me it's like rotting meat.

I have to say though, if I'm in Toronto during durian "season" I just have to close my eyes in Chinatown and it's hot, my shirt starts to stick ... well ... everywhere, and I'm transported here. I've just whispered "Bir besar dingen" to my waitress and relief is on the way...

Time for a Tiger!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

How to write a Fortune Cookie Poem
***
(Kudos if you can make bijou pucker in spite of the fibre.)

***
::

I can see right now I'm going to have to start adding wheat germ to my scotch.

I generally save my fortunes, but when I looked round in the bags the only one I found was this:

True bravery is without witness.


So then. I shall try.



Hair

To you it is a toy, a wild lovely thing, and I
of course am grateful for this anchor, albatross,
though I am constantly caught under some errant knee
or elbow, or trapped upon my back and arched in agony
like an ecstatic saint, when you, inspired, astride me,
thrust too far and forward, so that I slide
and pin myself by hair under my back. I let you think it's ecstasy
when my eyes roll heavenward or at least my head
hangs awkwardly upside down over the bed.


Perhaps it is a classical condition after all, since over time I've come
to quite enjoy the pain and pulling, and would now prefer
to feel your hand deliberate, wrapped around the reins.
When
true bravery has no witness in bed,
the medal is awarded by the gods of kink
so that the pain, now overcome,
holds rare appeal. I spread
my hair out for your knees, just there, so kneel
and pin me with that purple heart award.


*cough*

bj

 

[champagne1982]

Bide your time for success is near naked in bed

Stay, a mantra of begging blown soft in your ear
as clothes drop sussurant whispers on the floor
the power tie around bound wrists
Armani cuffs loose and rolled against elbows
as a Gucci belt slaps thighs once free
from elegant slacks and marked as won
While measured in flesh once night
takes over, only marred by panties.
Bide here with me, your time has come
for success is near naked, in bed.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

I have a box of stale fortune cookies. I bought them at a local dollar store. Damn. Should have known better. lol Before I throw the box away, I'll open the cookies and find some fortunes.

First one is for Annie: Good luck is a hop, skip and jump away... in bed.

Next, I have one for champy: Bide your time, for success is near... in bed.

Oh, and for Ange: Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing... in bed.

Could you crack one for me Evie, please.

 

[Angeline]

You will have good luck and overcome many hardships

It's a wall of sound
foundation the first shade
of sigh. A private hour.
Hollow bells of laughter, purr
sweet groan yes caramel
honey there I slurp
your neck, sizzle tongue
tip silver thatch, tap tap
your little button nipples,
knock your tender door,
slam a symphony to swamp
you with downpour. Swallow
as the mattress creak echoes
a frantic squeak of skin.

Hello my lovely
afternoon. Chinese food
for lunch, then jazz
and satiation, chopstick tricks
to quicken heartbeats
hue and cry. Miles
my darling treasure spilled
upon a rill of paper. Yes
you will have good luck
and overcome many hardships
in our bed.

 

[ArnoldSnarb]

All the Troubles You Have Will Pass Quickly in Bed

All the troubles you have will pass quickly in bed,
Assuming you aren’t there alone with a book.
(Though if Story of O—copy well-thumbed and read
While your fingers are busy? Now, that just might work.)

But it’s better with someone who is, in a clinch
Inventive, erotic, exotic, and more-
Over someone whose breasts are delightful to pinch
And whose white thighs pink lovingly, smacked with a scourge.

Shrinks call it transference—one way to work out
All those kinks in your life where you’re feeling a louse
Or a downtrodden bureaucrat lacking in clout:
Tie her ankles and wrists, put a gag in her mouth,

.....Take a switch to her ass and you’re feeling quite grand
.....(Or grander than you were a while before).
.....But be careful she’s subby, and wants to be hit

.....For you may end up the one under her stick
.....With your butt in the air and your cheeks very sore.
.....(Although that may work too, giving her upper hand.)

The point is, remember that first thing I said:
All your troubles will pass and halve quickly in bed.



.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Could you crack one for me Evie, please.

Got one - thanks.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

He who hurries can not walk with digity (breaking the rules slightly)

It was an unseemly rush
to consummate I admit
but he didn’t hold back
until the moment when he hovered
panting above me.
Regrets, second thoughts?
Certainly no PDS to dampen passion.
A crooked smile, a grimace
and he moved away reluctantly.
“The condoms are in the bathroom.”
He who hurries can not walk with dignity
naked from the bed.

 

[Angeline]

It was an unseemly rush
to consummate I admit
but he didn’t hold back
until the moment when he hovered
panting above me.
Regrets, second thoughts?
Certainly no PDS to dampen passion.
A crooked smile, a grimace
and he moved away reluctantly.
“The condoms are in the bathroom.”
He who hurries can not walk with dignity
naked from the bed.

Tis good. And I'm guessing darkmaas will not be perturbed by the addition of "naked."

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Tis good. And I'm guessing darkmaas will not be perturbed by the addition of "naked."

.......or "from"?



Besides, I read his intro as actively encouraging us to get "naked".

 

[EilonwyKareena]

What looks like an appealing offer may not be

[drumroll] After much clicking on widgets to get a range of suggestions:

What in bed looks like
an appealing offer may
not be so gracious
when faced with reality
and the sharp light of day.



**based on Tanka format**

 

[Angeline]

.......or "from"?



Besides, I read his intro as actively encouraging us to get "naked".

what's a little preposition among friends?

Anything Worth Doing Can Be Done In Bed

Anything worth doing can be done in bed.
Imagine harems, dungeons, or a tryst
to please our secret wiles. Anything we've said

can be envisioned: you upon a throne,
me in bustier and spike-heeled pumps
(imagine harems, dungeons or a tryst).

The dream we've built together trumps
no small reality. Anything envisioned is achieved:
me in bustier and spike-heels pumps,

a strap-on to demand that my endowment is believed
when once the hunter transforms to the prey,
no small reality. Anything envisioned is achieved,

though we may recapitulate tradition on another day,
anything achieved can be exchanged.
When once the hunter transforms to the prey,

art is born of fantasies played out and rearranged.
Anything worth doing can be done in bed,
anything achieved can be exchanged
to please our secret wiles, anything we've said.