if your child was the product of rape/abuse
- Thread starter dolf
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I don't think so. at least until they were adults.
PixieDoll
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It is hard to know what one would do when faced with an unfamiliar issue. But I would have to say NO. I would not tell my child they were conceived do to a rape, ect. Life and healthy self esteem is hard enough with out that hanging over their head.
dolf
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why would you tell them?
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I have no idea. I just feel like it'd be more of a possibility if they were older. I'm not sure I would, but it'd be easier. the only reason I could see for telling them is if there was never a father figure in the picture and they wanted to know who their biological father was.
dolf
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how do you think they would react?
Morcheeba
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toys_em_us
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It would be difficult to do that from jail since that is where I would be after killing the motherfucker that did it.
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again, no idea. it would depend on the person, I'm sure. I know how I would react if my mother told me. I would cry and fawn over her and love her and a lot of gooey mother/daughter lovey dovey things. there's no way I'd be upset with her, but I'm in the unique (not really, actually) situation of knowing how hard it is to even discuss rape when you've been the victim of it. other people, I'm sure would have differing reactions.
PixieDoll
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dolf
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me? well, it's not like i could get any more insane than i already am.
but my mothers been going on about her rapes since i was ten, so it wouldn't be a huge shock.
i don't think my reactions would be typical.
only fools get caught.
richard_daily
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I'd tell them after they were in their 20s or so... and I'd make it very clear that I loved them in the same conversation.
B0LL0CK_Head
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Rape them and they will see what you had to go through to have their worthless ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dolf
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would telling them be in their best interest, or yours?
do you owe them your honesty in all things?
and id their conception any of their business? ...would you normally tell a child about that moment?
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I'd try not to say anything
Morcheeba
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Sorry for the seemingly loaded question as I had no idea. I was merely trying to motivate you into answering your own question for isthisdesire.
Don't think I'd tell nor would I want to hear such a thing (well, duh, this one).
It'd suck to withhold the truth, but would the truth really benefit the child or adult, as Richard mentions, to know?
Something tells me no unless, and that's a big fat UNLESS due to so many various scenarios and isolated situations.
Morcheeba
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Is this to say that you'd also not report any abuse and/or rape to the police?
Because that is on my mind with this topic and in this day and age, I think it'd be sorta hard to conceal such from a child being the product of rape/abuse.
dolf
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it was a reasonable question. i'm just not the best person to answer it.
i think you're right here though.
if nothing good can come from the truth and lots of pain be caused...
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No, if I was raped and got pregnant and decided to have the child rather than abort or adopt, I would not tell the child. But that would not stop me from reporting it.
And why would a child even think of looking into the possibility they are the product of rape?
Morcheeba
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Well, if the one parent is never around and we have this fancy schmancy thing called the Intraweb and you know the name of your father (or mother, let's not say only men rape or abuse the unwilling), why not give it a whirl with a few keystrokes. People find their real parents all the time anymore... so what if they found out they had been arrested for rape during the month of their conception? That'd be soooo harsh yet another example of a bizarre situation.
dolf
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would you tell them the real, full name?
a bigger worry would be family/friends spilling the beans.
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but if I had been raped and kept the resulting child, why would I even tell them the name of the father? I'd say they were the product of a one night stand if anything and I only knew him as John.
People only find their real parents if those parents want to be known. It's actually hard enough tracking down people when you have their name and last place of abode let alone not knowing a name or even town.
richard_daily
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It would be in everyone's best interest.
I would preface it with something to soften the blow.
I think that honesty is absolutely necessarily, it just has to be put in the correct context and place... Telling a 5 year old, would be tantamount to child abuse... Telling a 25 year old, who can comprehend and is a grown adult would be the right thing to do.
Morcheeba
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Dolfy, in your mind while creating this thread, were you referring to a violent abusive type rape or like a date rape or something? Hubby all drunk and forces sex with the wife in the middle of the night, etc...
Because such differing scenarios makes it hard to answer.
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