Nightmare Girl

[bluebell]

So I decided to start my own thread, if for no other reason than to convince Dampy that I do have a grandmother, thankyouverymuch (two of them, even!).
Honestly. The cheek.
Anyway.

I want a little place where I can post now and again. Thoughts that don't fit in with the blog or the blurt thread or the invisibles thread or anything else. And by "anything else" I mean the lambent threads started by Sher, Shangles, and Doc M (all of which make my legs quiver into little brainless puddles).

So here's the deal: I'll post my idiotic weirdnesses from time to time. And then if people wanted to post their own idiotic weirdnesses in response to my idiotic weirdnesses, that's fine too. I can't actually vouch for my mental filing system, though, as it's all a bit whacked.

So I'm trusting you in here. But don't for one second think that means I'll tolerate any moving of the knick-knacks. I will get all kinds of Kathy Bates on your ass.

You can play Bananagrams till the cows come home, though.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I love you and your brainless little legs.

 

[bluebell]

Quasi-archaeological grandmotherly dig # 1 (of 1, hopefully)

(for Dampy)

Witness: A claim has been made by a certain Ms. Panties in this post, of my birthday thread- which SHE bloody started, by the way- that she has never heard of my grandmother before. ( ) She then proceeded to narrow her eyes and "gesture" with her hands before declaring that she might need photographic proof (hmpf).

I plan to not only prove that I have a grandmother, but to cast a momentary aspersion on Ms. Panties herself, as I believe it is quite rude to state that one might not have a grandmother, let alone be in possession of one (hmpf #2).

The Cause for the Grandmother

1. I have one. Two, actually, still alive, both. Both biological, too. The one in question is my father's mother (although, incidentally, I am slated to see my mother's mother tomorrow night for dinner. I am bringing her a box of candy Turtles because she loves them), Esther. Ha! See? She has a name! And I know it!

2. I have actually mentioned this particular grandmother before, in this thread about what color kills pink. So, I have prior mentions on my side. Ahem.

3. She has diabetes and is 95 years old, but boy can she put down a jelly donut. I watched her do it on Saturday afternoon. She looked at the empty, powdery napkin afterwards as though she couldn't believe it was gone, and that she had eaten it; that look you might get if you pushed someone off the suspension bridge in Bristol, England after having told them they should call the Good Samaritans' phone number on a plaque affixed to the side of the bridge. Like, "Fuck."
We are a donut family. We enjoy them. So, weirdly, I am the right grandchild.

4. Photographic proof- see attached file. She exists! She liked white cardigans and scary red and orange flowery wallpaper! And pants that may or may not have had watermelons on them!

And finally, I maintain that Ms. Panties can indeed narrow her eyes, but does not, repeat, NOT use hand gestures. I have witnessed these hands, ladies and gentlemen (and cicadas); they are not gesturing hands. Ms. Panties' gesturing hands are more a figment of imagination than the grandmother she would have believed I had, if she could have believed I had one instead of not believing I did! *hand-desk*


*aspersion*


<--- necessary "I'm right" face



Nyah. Nyah, nyah.

 

[DesertPirate]

This is going to fun!

 

[bluebell]

And because I'm already yammering, can I please just be that one additional voice to say that I'm moony about her? Seriously: I. Want. To. Marry. Rachel. Maddow.
And remarkably, it's not even completely political (though I am utterly legs-over for how she comports herself); it's just...FUCK, I love that woman.

I'm sure it will be [sadly] gone from YouTube soon enough, but before they pull it, here is the clip that made me ga-ga. Guesting on Leno. Glasses, suit, sneakers...don't care. Gimme, I goddit.

It's been a steady growing crush, but now I'm just like, "Gimme mah Maddow" with some sort of feral purr following afterwards.

Purr.
PURR.

-----

I love you and your brainless little legs.

I love your kicky ones.
Not to mention the snoofles.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Ooh, I like her too. Charming and funny!

Also, that Maddow person isn't bad.

 

[iamincognito45]

And because I'm already yammering, can I please just be that one additional voice to say that I'm moony about her? Seriously: I. Want. To. Marry. Rachel. Maddow.
And remarkably, it's not even completely political (though I am utterly legs-over for how she comports herself); it's just...FUCK, I love that woman.

I'm sure it will be [sadly] gone from YouTube soon enough, but before they pull it, here is the clip that made me ga-ga. Guesting on Leno. Glasses, suit, sneakers...don't care. Gimme, I goddit.

It's been a steady growing crush, but now I'm just like, "Gimme mah Maddow" with some sort of feral purr following afterwards.

Purr.
PURR.

-----

I love your kicky ones.
Not to mention the snoofles.

Ooh, I like her too. Charming and funny!

Also, that Maddow person isn't bad.

I have no idea who she is. But I have been watching the clip and really like what she has to say. She is not so ugly and hateful and extreme as so many other pundits. Comes across as having well thought out opinions and very knowledgable.

Makes note to self for future reference.

 

[Vermilion]

(for Dampy)

Witness: A claim has been made by a certain Ms. Panties in this post, of my birthday thread- which SHE bloody started, by the way- that she has never heard of my grandmother before. ( ) She then proceeded to narrow her eyes and "gesture" with her hands before declaring that she might need photographic proof (hmpf).

I plan to not only prove that I have a grandmother, but to cast a momentary aspersion on Ms. Panties herself, as I believe it is quite rude to state that one might not have a grandmother, let alone be in possession of one (hmpf #2).

The Cause for the Grandmother

1. I have one. Two, actually, still alive, both. Both biological, too. The one in question is my father's mother (although, incidentally, I am slated to see my mother's mother tomorrow night for dinner. I am bringing her a box of candy Turtles because she loves them), Esther. Ha! See? She has a name! And I know it!

2. I have actually mentioned this particular grandmother before, in this thread about what color kills pink. So, I have prior mentions on my side. Ahem.

3. She has diabetes and is 95 years old, but boy can she put down a jelly donut. I watched her do it on Saturday afternoon. She looked at the empty, powdery napkin afterwards as though she couldn't believe it was gone, and that she had eaten it; that look you might get if you pushed someone off the suspension bridge in Bristol, England after having told them they should call the Good Samaritans' phone number on a plaque affixed to the side of the bridge. Like, "Fuck."
We are a donut family. We enjoy them. So, weirdly, I am the right grandchild.

4. Photographic proof- see attached file. She exists! She liked white cardigans and scary red and orange flowery wallpaper! And pants that may or may not have had watermelons on them!

And finally, I maintain that Ms. Panties can indeed narrow her eyes, but does not, repeat, NOT use hand gestures. I have witnessed these hands, ladies and gentlemen (and cicadas); they are not gesturing hands. Ms. Panties' gesturing hands are more a figment of imagination than the grandmother she would have believed I had, if she could have believed I had one instead of not believing I did! *hand-desk*


*aspersion*


<--- necessary "I'm right" face



Nyah. Nyah, nyah.

Yes, but is it Esther who ate the jam doughnut or the grandmother whom dampie is denying exists?
x
V

 

[impressive]

And because I'm already yammering, can I please just be that one additional voice to say that I'm moony about her? Seriously: I. Want. To. Marry. Rachel. Maddow.
And remarkably, it's not even completely political (though I am utterly legs-over for how she comports herself); it's just...FUCK, I love that woman.

I'm sure it will be [sadly] gone from YouTube soon enough, but before they pull it, here is the clip that made me ga-ga. Guesting on Leno. Glasses, suit, sneakers...don't care. Gimme, I goddit.

It's been a steady growing crush, but now I'm just like, "Gimme mah Maddow" with some sort of feral purr following afterwards.

Purr.
PURR.

I'd never heard of her (since I don't watch television), but I gotta agree. Yum!

 

[neonlyte]

And because I'm already yammering, can I please just be that one additional voice to say that I'm moony about her? Seriously: I. Want. To. Marry. Rachel. Maddow.
And remarkably, it's not even completely political (though I am utterly legs-over for how she comports herself); it's just...FUCK, I love that woman.

I'm sure it will be [sadly] gone from YouTube soon enough, but before they pull it, here is the clip that made me ga-ga. Guesting on Leno. Glasses, suit, sneakers...don't care. Gimme, I goddit.

It's been a steady growing crush, but now I'm just like, "Gimme mah Maddow" with some sort of feral purr following afterwards.

Purr.
PURR.

-----

I love your kicky ones.
Not to mention the snoofles.

Idiot

It is a biological certainty that you have at least one grandmother - there is no accounting for your mothers choice in mates - leaving that aside, one wonders what they do for grandmothers on the sub-continent. One can only assume sub-continent incontinent grandmothers are a species entirely beyond Ms. Panties realm of knowledge and experience.

PS. Where does this leave soon to be grandfathers? Yes... it's a poor way to break the news that 'we are to be a grandfather'

 

[bluebell]

Yes, but is it Esther who ate the jam doughnut or the grandmother whom dampie is denying exists?
x
V

...the second one. I did make that quite confusing, didn't I? My apologies.

I'd never heard of her (since I don't watch television), but I gotta agree. Yum!

There are many things that can be thrilling at 7:28 am on a Wednesday morning, but for me one of the best is seeing that you and I agree on lusciousness.

Yes, they recently gave her a show on MSNBC and she's been getting super duper response (with the exception of the one from this guy here).

PS. Where does this leave soon to be grandfathers? Yes... it's a poor way to break the news that 'we are to be a grandfather'

Oh, Will! Yay for you!
Congratulations!!!

 

[jomar]

Ahh...a place for me to get my hit of Bluey when I need it. I look forward the delightful weirdness and will gladly contribute from time to time. But first, I need to check out this Maddow video...

 

[trysail]

Bluebell,

You have made me horribly jealous. You see, I was one of those horribly deprived children who had to suffer a childhood without ANY living grandparents. That's right— ZERO, NIL, NONE. All the other kids would get birthday presents or Christmas presents from their grandparents. Hell, some of 'em had their damn tuitions paid by their grandparents! Above all, though, I missed being able to go visit and hear firsthand stories of days gone by.

Your grammy sounds like an ideal grammy. You're lucky.

Hell, we kids felt so deprived that my li'l sister found a couple who were pals of our father and "adopted" them as grandparents— going so far as to actually call 'em grandpa and grandma (with their acquiesence, of course).

 

[DesertPirate]

Idiot

It is a biological certainty that you have at least one grandmother - there is no accounting for your mothers choice in mates - leaving that aside, one wonders what they do for grandmothers on the sub-continent. One can only assume sub-continent incontinent grandmothers are a species entirely beyond Ms. Panties realm of knowledge and experience.

PS. Where does this leave soon to be grandfathers? Yes... it's a poor way to break the news that 'we are to be a grandfather'

Having Grandkids ranging from 1 to 11, welcome to the club. Now you get to do the things your folks did that aggravated you.
Giving Grandkids candy as they head out the door for home is a favorite that I learned when my Dad did it.
I don't see them having a sugar problem

The other day the wife took something away from the one year old.
She ran to me and said "babble, babble, babble, Bad Grandma!" Damn near fell out of the chair laughing, wife was on her knees holding her side. Priceless memories are the true treasure.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Hell, we kids felt so deprived that my li'l sister found a couple who were pals of our father and "adopted" them as grandparents— going so far as to actually call 'em grandpa and grandma (with their acquiesence, of course).

That's a grand old tradition. Everyone needs people like that at some point. I'm fortunate, of course - my many grandparent additions were the friends and family of my living grandparents. After a while you just call everyone "aunt" or "cousin."

 

[tickledkitty]

Bluey!! I adore your idiotic weirdnesses. Lots.

Carry one, then.

 

[hmmnmm]

funny or not so funny you'd create this when you did and christen it the moniker you did, since a couple dreams on recent nights were vividly weird and their impressions persist, the dreams making absolutely no sense as dreams tend to not do, but the vivid weirdness so enchanted, there would've been no point to the dreams had they made sense.

this you just created is long overdue where plague and drought have ruled far too long.

Cool thread, Blue.

 

[shereads]

So I'm trusting you in here. But don't for one second think that means I'll tolerate any moving of the knick-knacks.

Sorry. I had to move the seashell duck clock to make room for your thread-warming gift:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/2944114973_8af0102447_o.jpg

 

[shereads]

(though I am utterly legs-over for how she comports herself)

I was a fan of Rachel Maddow until you revealed that she comports herself on television. That's disgusting.

 

[damppanties]

Idiot

It is a biological certainty that you have at least one grandmother - there is no accounting for your mothers choice in mates - leaving that aside, one wonders what they do for grandmothers on the sub-continent. One can only assume sub-continent incontinent grandmothers are a species entirely beyond Ms. Panties realm of knowledge and experience.

PS. Where does this leave soon to be grandfathers? Yes... it's a poor way to break the news that 'we are to be a grandfather'

I didn't think said grandmother was...ummm...alive and well.
Bleubs (bwah! ty TK) talks about father and mother. Never talks about grandmother(s). She hides grandmothers. And suddenly, in a moment of intense discussion about something else, she casually mentions grandmother. It's a ploy I tell you! This was what made me question grandmotherly existence.

You called her an idiot!!!

(for Dampy)4. Photographic proof- see attached file. She exists! She liked white cardigans and scary red and orange flowery wallpaper! And pants that may or may not have had watermelons on them!

Dear God. That wallpaper.
That alone would make me think that's a doctored picture. But then, there are watermelon pants....

*aspersions right back at you*



PS. Hi, Grandma.

 

[JagFarlane]

Having Grandkids ranging from 1 to 11, welcome to the club. Now you get to do the things your folks did that aggravated you.
Giving Grandkids candy as they head out the door for home is a favorite that I learned when my Dad did it.
I don't see them having a sugar problem

The other day the wife took something away from the one year old.
She ran to me and said "babble, babble, babble, Bad Grandma!" Damn near fell out of the chair laughing, wife was on her knees holding her side. Priceless memories are the true treasure.

-chuckles- Yes, fears of my parents doing the same encourage me not to have kids...yet

 

[tickledkitty]

Bleubs (bwah! ty TK)

Actually, you should probably thank Marsh for that one.

Bluey, Bluey bo luey
Banana fanna fo fooey
Fe fi mo mooey
Bluey!

 

[bluebell]

funny or not so funny you'd create this when you did and christen it the moniker you did, since a couple dreams on recent nights were vividly weird and their impressions persist, the dreams making absolutely no sense as dreams tend to not do, but the vivid weirdness so enchanted, there would've been no point to the dreams had they made sense.

this you just created is long overdue where plague and drought have ruled far too long.

Cool thread, Blue.

You and I. Freakishly linked, remember?
And thank you.

Sorry. I had to move the seashell duck clock to make room for your thread-warming gift:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/2944114973_8af0102447_o.jpg

Sher, did you just give me a multilingual frog that craps acorns?

 

[shereads]

You and I. Freakishly linked, remember?
And thank you.


Sher, did you just give me a multilingual frog that craps acorns?

WTF?! I thought I was giving you a multilingual frog that cracks acrorns. Sorry. I'll send someone by - a monkey, maybe, to clean up the mess.

 

[bluebell]

Slight systematic dismantling

So obviously you have a difficult time getting facts straight, Dampy darling. Here, let me set this right for you. Don't mind if my hand accidentally swats at your lovely head...

I didn't think said grandmother was...ummm...alive and well.
Bleubs (bwah! ty TK) talks about father and mother. Never talks about grandmother(s). She hides grandmothers. And suddenly, in a moment of intense discussion about something else, she casually mentions grandmother. It's a ploy I tell you! This was what made me question grandmotherly existence.

I have mentioned grandmothers before! I even did in my post where I disabused you of the notion that she didn't exist! I made a thread about her! (And her bathroom!)
Ploys. Hah. How about literacy levels of jive-talkin' Hinglish speakers, eh?

You called her an idiot!!!

Actually, he had quoted you before saying that, auntie.

Dear God. That wallpaper.
That alone would make me think that's a doctored picture. But then, there are watermelon pants....

*aspersions right back at you*



PS. Hi, Grandma.

1. I could never doctor wallpaper like that. It's already too outrageous for words.
2. Yes, watermelon pants.
3. You don't get to cast aspersions. I am the sole aspersion-caster in this particular grandmotherly discussion.
4. Hmpf. Hello, indeed.

Actually, you should probably thank Marsh for that one.

Mr. Wiggle, eh? Well. I see how it is.