Isolated Blurt Thread

[TheeGoatPig]

pleeze can yu helping me, i are needeing a visa 2 the usa only i seems to hav lost my purse. pleeze will u sending me sum monies and i will letting u do norty things with me

If you really meant it I would fly over in person and drag you back
(I'm lying, I'm afraid of intercontinental travel, I don't even have a passport)

oh just bite my ass

Is that a general invitation?

That was what I was hoping she meant

 

[Chantilyvamp]

Is that a general invitation?

For you gorgeous yes! Lol though i swear if you make me laugh to much your gonna have to help me breath as well!

You fucking cheating bastard. You screwed up royally and now you have to face the consequences.

*hugs you so tight*

 

[MagicaPractica]

You fucking cheating bastard. You screwed up royally and now you have to face the consequences.

 

[MagicaPractica]

It will all be over in 23 days... it will all be over in 23 days... it will all be over in 23 days... in the meantime, try to be civil about it.

 

[JagFarlane]

It will all be over in 23 days... it will all be over in 23 days... it will all be over in 23 days... in the meantime, try to be civil about it.

Dunno bout you, but the only time I'm interested in counting down is the next 18

 

[TheeGoatPig]

How did I get like this?

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I feel like I'm going to puke.

 

[impressive]

Ugh.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I think I did. Hmmm. I don't quite remember.

We had some paneer when she visited. It might have been muttar paneer.

Ugh. I'm hungryyyy. *growl*

My nani makes the best mattar paneer...

You cant get more indian than my nani without being in india (heh!)

 

[CeriseNoire]

I'm insanely sore, but I like it. That said, it's pas my bedtime now. Off to bed I go.

 

[Katyusha]

Fishnets are infinitely more comfortable than regular nylons and tights.

 

[fieryjen]

Fishnets are infinitely more comfortable than regular nylons and tights.

So true!

 

[damppanties]

1. And now I can't sleep.

2. There was no need for so much drama. Ass.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

1. And now I can't sleep.

2. There was no need for so much drama. Ass.

What's your brother done now? want me to go beat him up?

 

[iamincognito45]

Fishnets are infinitely more comfortable than regular nylons and tights.

Infinitely more comfortable to admire...

 

[hollyocks]

anyone wanna buy a bank

 

[iamincognito45]

Not surprising I suppose.

 

[tickledkitty]

My lunch time is over already.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

What the hell is going on out there on the highway that I hear so many cars honking their horns?

 

[impressive]

A Florida grand jury has returned an indictment against Casey Anthony, the mother of missing toddler Caylee Anthony, on a first-degree murder charge, prosecutors said.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

anyone wanna buy a bank

I read that as 'anyone wanna buy a WANK'

and went

Then i read it again, and laughed (i know its not funny, but if you dont laugh, you'll cry...)

which reminds me:

Some Credit Crunch Jokes from the commuter paper this evening:

1) What's the definition of optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a sunday.

2) Japan is mired in financial uncertainty. The Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived.

3) City Trader: ''It's worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and i still have a wife.''

4) Why didn't the little boy get any pocket money? Because his mum went to Iceland. (this may be one only the brits get...because Iceland is also the name of a store that sells mainly frozen produce)

5) What's the capital of Iceland? £3.50

6) Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word- goodbye.

7) A masked man holding a bank cashier up with a gun says: ''I don't want any money, i just want you to start lending to each other...''

8) What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can leave a deposit on a Ferrari.

9) How many commodities traders does it take to change a lightbulb? none. The don't change bulbs, but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply.


(coz if you don't laugh, you'd cry...remember that...)

 

[JagFarlane]

7) A masked man holding a bank cashier up with a gun says: ''I don't want any money, i just want you to start lending to each other...''

Bwahahaha now thats an idea!

 

[CeriseNoire]

Blurt 1: It's funny how much things can change in one year. Although I can't say I mind still having the room/ability/will to grow. Nothing makes me more miserable than stagnation.

Blurt 2: High school halls

Blurt 3: It's almost freaky that I predicted the timing of that so well. Or maybe it was just that predictable.

 

[iamincognito45]

Some Credit Crunch Jokes from the commuter paper this evening:

1) What's the definition of optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a sunday.

2) Japan is mired in financial uncertainty. The Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived.

3) City Trader: ''It's worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and i still have a wife.''

4) Why didn't the little boy get any pocket money? Because his mum went to Iceland. (this may be one only the brits get...because Iceland is also the name of a store that sells mainly frozen produce)

5) What's the capital of Iceland? £3.50

6) Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word- goodbye.

7) A masked man holding a bank cashier up with a gun says: ''I don't want any money, i just want you to start lending to each other...''

8) What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can leave a deposit on a Ferrari.

9) How many commodities traders does it take to change a lightbulb? none. The don't change bulbs, but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply.


(coz if you don't laugh, you'd cry...remember that...)

Some more for your reading amusement...



CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.


CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.


BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER -- What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell..


STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.


CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Gt home about 45 minutes ago. Watching a wonderful (lol) video produced by the EPA. Had to take a break from the "action" to check the headlines...and the box scores of the Rays and Red Socks game.....

Holy fuck...hope its not a typo...**** of the 9th....Rays:14 ...Bosox:4


Whoohooo.....go Rays.....but I'm still not gonna get a mohawk.... well, not up there at least....