The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[Stella_Omega]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.


Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

My contention is, even if you have a dick, if you prefer women, you're lesbian. Therefore, I'm a lesbian.

That and a dollar-fifty will get you a ride on the bus, honey.

(severe inflation)

 

[starrkers]

You can only be a lesbian if you're dickless.

Well...finally, I take that as a compliment. Thank you, thank you very much.

Take it any way you want. It's a statement of fact.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You can only be a lesbian if you're dickless.

More to the point, you can only be a lesbian if your personal bodily parts include a womb, ovaries and oviducts on the interior-- outside you will want to have labia, a vagina, a G-spot, a clitoris...

 

[Guest]

fish????????

QUOTE FREDDIE Fish? If it smells like fish, I wouldn't eat it. Always remember, if it's not fresh, it's not legal.

F- Are we still on for Friday night?
LF- Same place?
F- I've already reserved
LF- See you there. I'm getting the lobster this time since you're paying.
F- If it smells like fish, I wouldn't eat it
LF- Click “private messages” You just type what you want
F- Yeah, okay, but I'll need more than a handshake
LF- Cool. That would be HOT!
F- Are you seriouis?
LF- I never disappoint.
F- You know that he's a lesbian
LF- He's not, I gave him head after you passed out last time
F- I take that as a compliment
LF- I'll be the judge of that.
F- If it's not fresh, it's not legal
LF- So what's your definition of confusion Freddie?
F- Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

Miss O More to the point, you can only be a lesbian if your personal bodily parts include a womb, ovaries and oviducts on the interior-- outside you will want to have labia, a vagina, a G-spot, a clitoris...

…an attitude, a butch haircut, a pierced tongue, a tattoo, underarm hair, a chip on your shoulder…

…however she definitely won’t have a make-up kit.

"skank." Are you related to danikat miss o? She’s the only other person I’ve ever seen use that word…

Miss O Lesbians don't want to be boinked by men. That's why they are called "lesbians," instead of "bisexual."

Not according to Professor Singh miss stella. As you know the Professor is a world renowned authority on Lesbian issues and he just happens to be one of our neighbors. He told us the other night that twenty years of laboratory testing of lesbians has shown that 73.21% of lesbians in fact want to be “boinked” by men. They’re just too shy to ask…

Its why he often sends subjects over to the ScouriesMedicalCenter for treatment.

“boinked”. Did you really use that word? I’m definitely going to read one of your stories sometime soon – just for these lesbian words you use.

Gabrielle L.

 

[starrkers]

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Whoa, that was a whole bunch of defensive, jim!


Grand_High_Poobah is an"alt" used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

 

[starrkers]

More to the point, you can only be a lesbian if your personal bodily parts include a womb, ovaries and oviducts on the interior-- outside you will want to have labia, a vagina, a G-spot, a clitoris...

True enough, but I thought that might confuse him even further

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

My poem, Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, posted this morning.

It's romantic, hot, and touching (sniff).

For those of you who lack a sense of humor, (not you Starrkers), the poem was meant to be funny and not mean spirited.

I wrote it in good fun and sent a copy to Sir Jim for his approval first. He told me that everyone writes a parody and sattire about him, but no one writes anything about Gabby.

I dedicate my poem, Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, to the beautiful, vibrate, and real Gabby.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

My poem, Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, posted this morning.

It's romantic, hot, and touching (sniff).

For those of you who lack a sense of humor, (not you Starrkers), the poem was meant to be funny and not mean spirited.

I wrote it in good fun and sent a copy to Sir Jim for his approval first. He told me that everyone writes a parody and sattire about him, but no one writes anything about Gabby.

I dedicate my poem, Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, to the beautiful, vibrate, and real Gabby.

LOL
very cute poem

Too bad my review day was yesterday. (New Poem Review in Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum)

btw, if you are interested in improving your poetic skills, there are many opportunities to do so in that forum.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

LOL
very cute poem

Too bad my review day was yesterday. (New Poem Review in Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum)

btw, if you are interested in improving your poetic skills, there are many opportunities to do so in that forum.

I appreciate those who are poets. Unfortunately, I am not one of them.

It takes me longer to write a poem than it does a story. I struggle with poetry. Although, in the case of Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, that was inspired writing and took me only 15 minutes to compose.

It is so much more difficult to chose the one right word than it is to write an entire page of dialogue. It is so much more difficult to stay in meter and to impart the correct imagery than it is to write a complete story. I'd rather write stories than poems.

Sure, I could have taken more time with it, but the message that I wanted to communicate was all there.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I appreciate those who are poets. Unfortunately, I am not one of them.

It takes me longer to write a poem than it does a story. I struggle with poetry. Although, in the case of Gabby, My Love, Will You Marry Me?, that was inspired writing and took me only 15 minutes to compose.

It is so much more difficult to chose the one right word than it is to write an entire page of dialogue. It is so much more difficult to stay in meter and to impart the correct imagery than it is to write a complete story. I'd rather write stories than poems.

Sure, I could have taken more time with it, but the message that I wanted to communicate was all there.

I really hate it when we agree. Read my comments on your poem.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I really hate it when we agree. Read my comments on your poem.

Yes, I did read your comments. Thank you so much for the support of your vote and for taking the time to write a comment. It is appreciated.

By the way, I like this AV the best. I imagine you looking much like the blonde sitting down rather than the one standing.

 

[scouries]

Pay Day!!!!!!!!!

Well actually we don't get the check today but it's today when we add up the figures and figure out the amount.

Our cute accountant Jacqui had a smile on her face this a.m. when she came to work and that always puts a smile on everyone elses face.

And given the market meltdown it's good to know that money is still flowing in.

The "thread" is even going to generate some cash under our bonus contract!

This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh post made on this thread this month! And only 15 by yours truly. A new record!

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank [size=+2]freddie [/size] and [size=+2]sarahhh [/size] for dropping in and lending a hand this month. We couldn't have done it without you two!

And just to commemorate this record breaking posting month I'd like to repost the first entry of September - I think it set the tone, don't you? I mean lists are so Literotican... I think there will be some more this month...

jim

p.s. sales figures out tomorrow

[size=+2]Monday, September 1st, 2008
ScouriesWorld Headquarters
Miami Beach, Florida[/size]

[size=+2]HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!![/SIZE]​

And here’s another list…

LITEROTICA’S TOP STORIES ALL-TIME
MOST COMMENTS RECEIVED LIST

[size=+2]MEMBERSHIP LIST[/SIZE]

[size=+2]CharleyBear
DGHear
Furrybert
M-Y-Erotica
ohio
rgjohn
Sarahhh
Serenakittyn
scouries
TryAnything
youbadboy [/size]​

I’m james r scouries and I approve this message

[size=+2]

Miami Hurricanes

​

[/size]

National Champions 1983, 1987, 1989, 1991, 2001​

p.s. babe, i don't know who Imp is but he/she is definately stuck in the 1950's...

 

[Stella_Omega]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

 

[TxRad]

Any and all lists made up by scouries and scouriesworld or Gabby the Blow up Doll have nothing to do with Lit or it's owners.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

*snicker*

You guys are going to love my Halloween contest entry.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

*snicker*

You guys are going to love my Halloween contest entry.

I assume your entry is hitting the humor/satire category and poking fun at someone we all know and love to hate?

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

I assume your entry is hitting the humor/satire category

It is humorous, but I think it will fit better in the Celebrity or Nonhuman categories best. I'm asking an editor about that.

and poking fun at someone we all know and love to hate?

of course.. but, subtly (I think.) and in relatively good taste.

 

[Guest]

you're such a big cuddly goofus..........

... you should have asked for pics... then it could have gone in Illustrated Poetry! I'm going to make this my FAVORITEST POEM!

[size=+3]Gabby, My Love , Will You Marry Me?[/size]
by [size=+2] BOSTONFICTIONWRITER [/size]

[size=+2]Gabby, My Love , Will You Marry Me?[/size]

Nail polish, lip gloss,
Short skirt, low cut blouse,
It would be my loss,
If she snubbed my house.

A single red rose ,
Two glasses of wine,
A question to pose,
If she will be mine.

French kisses and
Hand jobs and blowjobs,
Diamond for her hand,
Just say I do (sob).

I truly love her.
She’s the only one,
Her painted on fur,
And her plastic bum.

She has perfect tits,
Once I blow them up.
Never pees or shits,
Can’t drink from a cup.

Can’t talk back to me,
Tell me what to do,
I think she loves me,
And I love her, too.

But…what’s with her hair?
She’s so wicked slim.
“Hiss!” She’s leaking air!
“I’m so sorry, Jim.”

She has a ripped seam,
In her rubber head,
Woman of my dreams,
No! I think she’s dead.

“Gabby, dear Gabby
You’ll always be mine
Gabby, dead Gabby,
This is such a crime.”

I know who did this,
I shall seek payback,
I’m so sorry. “Hiss!”
It was Boston’s hack.

He passed our table,
Carrying a knife,
Now, you’re unable,
To become my wife.

It had to be done,
Sorry, she’s not real,
No daughters or sons,
From this wedded deal.

She’s a blow up doll,
And can be replaced.
But not from the mall,
From the human race.

With lots of women,
Yes, even for you,
Take this poison pen,
Put it to good use.

Find a real person,
Who can walk and talk,
And give you a son,
Then, no one will mock,

You for loving Gabby.
Go out the back door,
I called a cabbie,
Gabby is no more.

Wait, before you go,
There’s one more detail,
That you need to know,
It’s your thread, it failed.

Either fix your thread
Or leave the web site
Best give it to Fred
To avoid a fight.​

Yes, I would...but...

09/30/08 by Grand_High_Poobah in Naked on South Beach Freddie

...are you ready to be a daddy for jim jr.? I'm preggie hon...if only I'd run into Polo earlier! What a dog. The boss and I aren't planning on getting married right away. But hey, if he decides not to marry me AND if you can start earning some royalties AND if you can get the ED problems sorted out AND if you move to Miami... well maybe we could talk. Do you eat Cubans hon?***** We still luv ya big guy... we both understand... the kitten sisters and the lesbo sisterhood is hard for an aging poet to resist...KISSES...your Gabster


Gabrielle L.
freedom fighter… and
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
ALT killer…and
Handler of the “Mentally Challenged”… and
v.p. ScouriesWorld seminars…and
president, Scouries Fan Club…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
V.P. lesbian deprogramming services…and
deputy art director reporting to miss (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member, Literotica royalty distribution committee…and
freddies muse…and
friend of GBers…and
director of scouriesworld translation services…and
vice-president marketing –Orgasming Centres Inc….and finally
secretary, 1000+ VOTE CLUB and 100+COMMENT CLUB
collins avenue
miami beach, florida

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

It is humorous, but I think it will fit better in the Celebrity or Nonhuman categories best. I'm asking an editor about that.



of course.. but, subtly (I think.) and in relatively good taste.

So...your story is about the one and the only person that we all love to hate...President Bush?

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

... you should have asked for pics... then it could have gone in Illustrated Poetry! I'm going to make this my FAVORITEST POEM!

[size=+3]Gabby, My Love , Will You Marry Me?[/size]
by [size=+2] BOSTONFICTIONWRITER [/size]

[size=+2]Gabby, My Love , Will You Marry Me?[/size]

Nail polish, lip gloss,
Short skirt, low cut blouse,
It would be my loss,
If she snubbed my house.

A single red rose ,
Two glasses of wine,
A question to pose,
If she will be mine.

French kisses and
Hand jobs and blowjobs,
Diamond for her hand,
Just say I do (sob).

I truly love her.
She’s the only one,
Her painted on fur,
And her plastic bum.

She has perfect tits,
Once I blow them up.
Never pees or shits,
Can’t drink from a cup.

Can’t talk back to me,
Tell me what to do,
I think she loves me,
And I love her, too.

But…what’s with her hair?
She’s so wicked slim.
“Hiss!” She’s leaking air!
“I’m so sorry, Jim.”

She has a ripped seam,
In her rubber head,
Woman of my dreams,
No! I think she’s dead.

“Gabby, dear Gabby
You’ll always be mine
Gabby, dead Gabby,
This is such a crime.”

I know who did this,
I shall seek payback,
I’m so sorry. “Hiss!”
It was Boston’s hack.

He passed our table,
Carrying a knife,
Now, you’re unable,
To become my wife.

It had to be done,
Sorry, she’s not real,
No daughters or sons,
From this wedded deal.

She’s a blow up doll,
And can be replaced.
But not from the mall,
From the human race.

With lots of women,
Yes, even for you,
Take this poison pen,
Put it to good use.

Find a real person,
Who can walk and talk,
And give you a son,
Then, no one will mock,

You for loving Gabby.
Go out the back door,
I called a cabbie,
Gabby is no more.

Wait, before you go,
There’s one more detail,
That you need to know,
It’s your thread, it failed.

Either fix your thread
Or leave the web site
Best give it to Fred
To avoid a fight.​

Yes, I would...but...

09/30/08 by Grand_High_Poobah in Naked on South Beach Freddie

...are you ready to be a daddy for jim jr.? I'm preggie hon...if only I'd run into Polo earlier! What a dog. The boss and I aren't planning on getting married right away. But hey, if he decides not to marry me AND if you can start earning some royalties AND if you can get the ED problems sorted out AND if you move to Miami... well maybe we could talk. Do you eat Cubans hon?***** We still luv ya big guy... we both understand... the kitten sisters and the lesbo sisterhood is hard for an aging poet to resist...KISSES...your Gabster


Gabrielle L.
freedom fighter… and
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
ALT killer…and
Handler of the “Mentally Challenged”… and
v.p. ScouriesWorld seminars…and
president, Scouries Fan Club…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
V.P. lesbian deprogramming services…and
deputy art director reporting to miss (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member, Literotica royalty distribution committee…and
freddies muse…and
friend of GBers…and
director of scouriesworld translation services…and
vice-president marketing –Orgasming Centres Inc….and finally
secretary, 1000+ VOTE CLUB and 100+COMMENT CLUB
collins avenue
miami beach, florida

Yes to all, but no ED problems with me.

Only, Miami is wayyyyyyyy too hot.

I was there long ago. I stayed at the Hotel Fountainbleu on the 20th floor. It was a corner room overlooking the ocean and the beach. It was very beautifu.

Besides, I enjoy having the four seasons.

I've never had Cuban food. We don't have many Cubans in Massachusetts.

Perhaps when Fidel and his dictator brother dies, things will improve for Cubans and for the relationship that the United States once enjoyed with Cuba.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Jim, make her an honest woman. Marry her. You have my blessings.

Only, please don't name your son Freddie.

Good luck.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

So...your story is about the one and the only person that we all love to hate...President Bush?

*yawn*

My story is not one dimensional. It's actually a parody of one of my favorite TV shows. The sex is with a nonhuman.. therefore, I'm torn as to whether it belongs in the Celebrity category (since it is essentially fan fiction) or Nonhuman (since the sex is with a nonhuman).

Any thoughts?

 

[Safe_Bet]

Yes to all, but no ED problems with me.

Only, Miami is wayyyyyyyy too hot.

I was there long ago. I stayed at the Hotel Fountainbleu on the 20th floor. It was a corner room overlooking the ocean and the beach. It was very beautifu.

Besides, I enjoy having the four seasons.

I've never had Cuban food. We don't have many Cubans in Massachusetts.

Perhaps when Fidel and his dictator brother dies, things will improve for Cubans and for the relationship that the United States once enjoyed with Cuba.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Jim, make her an honest woman. Marry her. You have my blessings.

Only, please don't name your son Freddie.

Good luck.

Oh man, Freddie! You lay your heart out like that and it just gets stomped on.

What a cold bitch (room temp actually). Even after you rushed her to the vinyl repair shop straight from the restaurant and wrote that really...umm...nice poem about her.

I’m really sorry, dude.

Well forget her. She nothing but a skank anyway. Did you see how she tried to manipulate you! Not that I blame her, seeing as how she’s unwed, preggo (with a baby Scouries – ewwww) and the best she can hope for is to be able to live on what a Walmart Greeter makes – if the deadbeat even marries her.

Tell you what. I’m going to set you up with the best-looking chick in ALL of Boston.

Burtha, meet Freddie.

http://www.faphost.com/images/yr7x6me2i63bhkaj8lu.jpg

Ooops. Sorry Freddie, She's waiting for ME.

l
l
l
l
V​

Oh, here's YOUR date...​

http://www.faphost.com/images/wd4hznjb3rz3a85wqse.jpg​

.

 

[Guest]

QUOTE [size=+2]Freddie [/size] but no ED problems with me…please don't name your son Freddie

I checked back with Jacqui and she agreed, maybe she did misunderstand your problem at the critical moment.

“I’d had quite a bit to drink… Freddie too,” she told me when I asked our pretty accountant this aft. “I don’t know… maybe it was hard… it was difficult to tell in the dark. It was certainly getting hardish! But then he wanted me to turn over. He said he preferred it doggie style and he wanted me to call him Polo. It was weird!

Then all of a sudden the lights came on and Angie from housekeeping came in chased by sarahhh who was wearing a big plastic strap-on. Its no surprise he lagged a little bit after seeing that…”

If it’s a boy we think we’ll call him ‘James Roderick Frederick Scouries Esquire Junior’. We’ll probably call him Freddie or Junior so that he and his dad don’t get confused when I want one of them.

Probably ‘Gabrielle Fredericka Polo Scouries’ if it’s a girl.

HEY, I wasn’t the only LITEROTICAN who had a story written about her today! I never knew miss omega swallowed! I didn't even know she was married. Little hussy…

My Wife Stella - A story of our start to swinging.
Submitted by pawildman (Loving Wives) 09/30/08

Gabrielle L.

 

[starrkers]

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.