The BDSM CYBERSEX discussion room

[subbie_333]

BDSM cybersex is having a conversation over the computer that involves BDSM (and sometimes sexual) activities. These conversations usually take place in an instant messenger application, chatroom, or, forum. They can also involve web cams and/or audio chats. They can be in private where only those who are invited can see or participate, or, they can take place in public where anyone who has access to the web site can view or participate.

The purpose of this forum thread is to provide an opportunity for people to share and discuss their experiences, as well as a place to ask questions and explore new ideas.

Everyone here should feel comfortable in discussing and reading the experiences of others and the issues being discussed. So, if you do not like anything and/or anybody to do with cybersex, then, this is *NOT* the place for you.


Some possible topics for discussion and questions about BDSM cybersex include:

......use of cybersex as part of a real life BDSM relationship

......use of cybersex as part of a long distance real life BDSM relationship

......use of cybersex for the BDSM newbie who has not yet made the jump to real life

......use of BDSM cybersex to learn about and explore BDSM gear, fetishes, and, activities

......BDSM cybersex solely for sexual pleasure

......how your use and/or view of BDSM cybersex changed once you made the jump to real life BDSM

......how your use and/or view of cybersex changes as you move in and out of online and/or real life relationships

......examples of BDSM cybersex scene scenarios that work well or that don’t work well

......comparison of cybersex to phone sex

......what affect real life can have in making cybersex fun or serious or just plain stupid

......can cybersex be addictive?

......demonstrations and hints of things that can improve the use of cybersex

......use of cybersex as a method of executing real life BDSM domination

......BDSM cybersex as a form of professional domination

......use of web cams in cybersex

......other technology that can accentuate cybersex (i.e. devices that can be controlled through internet connections)

......physically doing things to yourself during cybersex (i.e. vibrators, clamps, etc.)

 

[FFOTS4Life]

BDSM cybersex is having a conversation over the computer that involves BDSM (and sometimes sexual) activities. These conversations usually take place in an instant messenger application, chatroom, or, forum. They can also involve web cams and/or audio chats. They can be in private where only those who are invited can see or participate, or, they can take place in public where anyone who has access to the web site can view or participate.

The purpose of this forum thread is to provide an opportunity for people to share and discuss their experiences, as well as a place to ask questions and explore new ideas.

Everyone here should feel comfortable in discussing and reading the experiences of others and the issues being discussed. So, if you do not like anything and/or anybody to do with cybersex, then, this is *NOT* the place for you.


Some possible topics for discussion and questions about BDSM cybersex include:

......use of cybersex as part of a real life BDSM relationship

......use of cybersex as part of a long distance real life BDSM relationship

......use of cybersex for the BDSM newbie who has not yet made the jump to real life

......use of BDSM cybersex to learn about and explore BDSM gear, fetishes, and, activities

......BDSM cybersex solely for sexual pleasure

......how your use and/or view of BDSM cybersex changed once you made the jump to real life BDSM

......how your use and/or view of cybersex changes as you move in and out of online and/or real life relationships

......examples of BDSM cybersex scene scenarios that work well or that don’t work well

......comparison of cybersex to phone sex

......what affect real life can have in making cybersex fun or serious or just plain stupid

......can cybersex be addictive?

......demonstrations and hints of things that can improve the use of cybersex

......use of cybersex as a method of executing real life BDSM domination

......BDSM cybersex as a form of professional domination

......use of web cams in cybersex

......other technology that can accentuate cybersex (i.e. devices that can be controlled through internet connections)

......physically doing things to yourself during cybersex (i.e. vibrators, clamps, etc.)

Okay you told me there was Ben and Jerry's in here....so you better hand me that and a spoon fast....got it?

 

[subbie_333]

Okay you told me there was Ben and Jerry's in here....so you better hand me that and a spoon fast....got it?

Yes Miss!

( runs past the one grouping of Barcaloungers, past the larger of the three hot tubs, past the huge heart-shaped bed, and, into the larger of the two full kitchens. Opens the freezer chest and pulls out a tub of Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. Spoons out numerous scoops into a large bowl, and, places a spoon into the bowl. Runs back over to find Fotsie relaxing on one of the Barcaloungers. Kneels in front of Her, head bowed, holding out the bowl of heaven )

 

[FFOTS4Life]

Yes Miss!

( runs past the one grouping of Barcaloungers, past the larger of the three hot tubs, past the huge heart-shaped bed, and, into the larger of the two full kitchens. Opens the freezer chest and pulls out a tub of Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. Spoons out numerous scoops into a large bowl, and, places a spoon into the bowl. Runs back over to find Fotsie relaxing on one of the Barcaloungers. Kneels in front of Her, head bowed, holding out the bowl of heaven )

*sighs in contentment* Oh yes....I could get used to this....now if only I had someone to give me a little massage.....*Looks down at subbie*

 

[subbie_333]

*sighs in contentment* Oh yes....I could get used to this....now if only I had someone to give me a little massage.....*Looks down at subbie*

* looks up at Her *

(reaches out and gently removes the strappy shoe from Her left foot and puts it aside. Then, removes the right shoe. Takes Her left foot into his hands and begins to gently caress and massage)

Well, i guess since i created the original post, i get to go first on the subject matter.


A number of years ago i decided that maybe one of the reasons why my vanilla relationships weren't working was because BDSM was missing from them. So, i decided to do some research on BDSM on the internet. i found a wide range of fetishes and activities and "gear". i also discovered that some sites had cybersex chatrooms and thought that might be fun, as well as a way to get exposed to a bunch of BDSM stuff.

And, after seeing the wide range of leather toys and their prices, i decided to look into what was involved with making leather stuff. So, participating in cybersex and chatting with people outside of the scenes, i learned a lot about BDSM and i started making leather BDSM gear.

But, after awhile i realized that i needed to make the jump to real life BDSM, to move forward in my search for more successful relationships, so, i started going to a local dungeon for their Saturday night parties. After getting some real life BDSM experience, BDSM cybersex just wasn't as intense or as interesting any more.

 

[Toa_lin]

* looks up at Her *

(reaches out and gently removes the strappy shoe from Her left foot and puts it aside. Then, removes the right shoe. Takes Her left foot into his hands and begins to gently caress and massage)

Well, i guess since i created the original post, i get to go first on the subject matter.


A number of years ago i decided that maybe one of the reasons why my vanilla relationships weren't working was because BDSM was missing from them. So, i decided to do some research on BDSM on the internet. i found a wide range of fetishes and activities and "gear". i also discovered that some sites had cybersex chatrooms and thought that might be fun, as well as a way to get exposed to a bunch of BDSM stuff.

And, after seeing the wide range of leather toys and their prices, i decided to look into what was involved with making leather stuff. So, participating in cybersex and chatting with people outside of the scenes, i learned a lot about BDSM and i started making leather BDSM gear.

But, after awhile i realized that i needed to make the jump to real life BDSM, to move forward in my search for more successful relationships, so, i started going to a local dungeon for their Saturday night parties. After getting some real life BDSM experience, BDSM cybersex just wasn't as intense or as interesting any more.

well, it's not that it's not fun anymore. It's that it no-longer has the appeal of being new and unknown. And also most people out there don't understand the power of words. They all try to jump striaght to the action, no clue how to create pauses, waits, allow the meanings and feelings of words to sink in.
To create true theatrics with words.

Find someone who truly udnerstands how to manipulate what-ever language you're using, and you'll find new spice and enjoyment there, guaranteed.

Now, the real thing will always be better. But it's like comparing having sex with watching porn.. .Porn is fun for most people, but is no-where near as good as the reality.. .Doesn't stop people from buying it.

 

[La_soumise]

For me, I have found that BDSM-oriented cybersex has helped me cement my erstwhile desires. To me, it's a healthy way to experiment in an anonymous situation. Very safe for many people--which explains, I daresay, the popularity of the chatrooms here.

In the end, though I have met a lovely fellow who has a wonderful hold over me, it is not at all a satisfactory substitute for a flesh and blood relationship. The anonymity tends to dehumanize everything.

I hope it was okay to jump on this bandwagon...

 

[subbie_333]

For me, I have found that BDSM-oriented cybersex has helped me cement my erstwhile desires. To me, it's a healthy way to experiment in an anonymous situation. Very safe for many people--which explains, I daresay, the popularity of the chatrooms here.

In the end, though I have met a lovely fellow who has a wonderful hold over me, it is not at all a satisfactory substitute for a flesh and blood relationship. The anonymity tends to dehumanize everything.

I hope it was okay to jump on this bandwagon...

The more the merrier. Find a comfy place to light, and, enjoy yourself.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Since I am in a LDR where esp lately we haven't been able to see each other as often as we like then phone sex/camming/making videos is a big part of our relationship. I don't do any self-inflicted by his orders pain or discipline. Once in a while I will try by hand at self-bondage but that is just for fun and not something he has ever asked for. We mostly share fantasies and re-live past visits.

Except for the very first time we ever chatted privately we have never had cybersex. A bit of cyber-flirting, and cyber teasing...and then cyber lecturing...lol

I have nothing again cybersex. I did it a bit before I met my PYL. Our relationship just moved very quickly to phone. And once you go voice it is very hard to go back to just typing.

Of course in person is better, but phone with him is better than in person with anyone else. He turns on my mind, which is where 95% of my orgasms come from anyway.

 

[FurryFury]

I've enjoyed cyber sex and cyber BDSM a great deal in the past. For a while I burned bright in the center of cyberland. It was a wonderful terrifying thing. I was always ready for and wanting sex but I was afraid I would literally be destroyed by burning so hot all the time. Let's face it, I was obsessed. My husband got a lot of great kinky sex that way but he may have felt overtaxed as well.

One thing that took the shine off for me was some immature, obsessive partners. I have a really bad habit of feeling responsible if someone is not happy. I get really depressed if they aren't and when they blame me or even if they don't, I tend to blame myself. This, even when I know, it's part of their problem too that causes these things to happen.

Sometimes I could feel that by doing these things I was feeding a monster that I wanted and couldn't really have. I felt that was damaging to me at times and cursed myself for it.

I also wrote SRP and loved that when I had a compatible partner. At a certain point I felt I had written all of the sex acts I could think of, every way I could imagine. Writers block hit me hard and still hasn't let go in this area.

I would love an online Dom but I've found I get frustrated with my own self imposed limitations. I feel they deserve so much more. It makes me angry at myself and depressed.

So I would never down cyber but I can't do it anymore. Sometimes I wish I could. The shiny is gone and I'm done.

The upside of this is that I'm much more present in my RL. I'm also much more peaceful with it as well as my desires and needs.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Of course in person is better, but phone with him is better than in person with anyone else. He turns on my mind, which is where 95% of my orgasms come from anyway.

I feel the same. *nods*

In person is better, but the most intense orgasms I've ever had (the only orgasms I've ever had to be totaly honest lol) was the online ones while talking to him on mic. I could stay with those till I die. lol

Satisfied fully!!



That reminds me, men I've had IRL sucked!!

 

[Harmony_1985]

Using a webcam and a mic has been what has stopped me from committing murder due to sexual frustration, lol.

Me and the boyfriend cyber a fair bit, as do me and Daddy, its whats stopped me from going stir crazy, and it means that the boyfriend gets to see me occasionally.

 

[FFOTS4Life]

Well I am like most everyone else in here...cybersex has been a fun way to explore likes and dislike however I much prefer a RL experience.

Some of the best CS was before me and my boyfriend broke it off and he was on his tour of duty in Italy....*fans self* And to think...that was all vanilla!

So any good CS experiences...any horribly bad....?

*sighs in contentment as subbie rubs my feet*

 

[subbie_333]

Well I am like most everyone else in here...cybersex has been a fun way to explore likes and dislike however I much prefer a RL experience.

Some of the best CS was before me and my boyfriend broke it off and he was on his tour of duty in Italy....*fans self* And to think...that was all vanilla!

So any good CS experiences...any horribly bad....?

*sighs in contentment as subbie rubs my feet*

(gently sets down Her left foot and takes Her right foot into his hands to continue the massage)

The "bad" experiences that come to mind were generally the jerks who portrayed themselves to be one thing, but, were actually another. Like, claiming to be a woman, then, 10 minutes in they drop their pants to reveal male anatomy. When that happened, the only thing i might say to them would be "that's not cool". i suspect they wanted to see a hysterical reaction, but, i wouldn't give them the "pleasure".

A "good" experience was getting to know a particular woman well enough in cyber that we just got better at it. That made it easier to push each others buttons on a more regular basis, and, even meant that the scenes lasted longer.

Then, the occasional "weird" experience. As i mentioned before, one of the reasons for me doing BDSM cybersex was to see what i liked and didn't like in BDSM. i had enough of a grip on reality to not be totally devastated by anything that anybody would do *to* me in a scene (happening "to me" cus i was the bottom in the scene). Bottom line, i could just disconnect from the internet. Usually the weird things would come with no warning. *****SQUEAMISH ALERT***** So, some of weird things include me fucking a dog, getting fucked by a dog, me fucking a blow up doll (female human and a female sheep), me fucking a horse, a woman pissing into my mouth, a woman shitting into my mouth, penetrating her asshole with my erect cock and pissing inside her. ***** END OF SQUEAMISH ALERT*****

 

[Harmony_1985]

I've had cyber time with my play mate tonight and its made me feel ALOT better!

2 orgasms and anal, I'm sore now lol.

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

Heard there was a party and free foot rubs here.

*grabs a mudslide and finds a comfy place on the loveseat*

Plus - the topic looks interesting. As a newbie - I find all this chat very educational. And - I love to learn.

 

[subbie_333]

Heard there was a party and free foot rubs here.

*grabs a mudslide and finds a comfy place on the loveseat*

Plus - the topic looks interesting. As a newbie - I find all this chat very educational. And - I love to learn.

*waves at the gorgeous curvy lady*

Hello

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

*waves at the gorgeous curvy lady*

Hello

*Waves at the tall, goodlooking gent and smiles, wiggling my toes in his direction*

Hey, there. I was told to ask for you... that you give... THE BEST....rubs....ever.

 

[LifelongCyn]

Thanks for starting this thread, subbie! As a newbie, cyber does seem to me to be the safest way to explore BDSM, but I've often wondered how real the experience could be since it is mostly in the imagination. It hadn't actually occured to me until recently that I might be expected to do things to myself at my partner's command .

My question has more to do with net security for folks who have incorporated cam into their cyber relationships. I live in a very tech savvy area and, being relatively tech inept, I've always been afraid that I would be providing live entertainment to the neighborhood if I added a cam. I do have all the standard things in place, but I was just wondering how you made sure that net security wasn't an issue. And for that matter, how do you/can you know what your partner is doing with the live feed? Thanks.

 

[subbie_333]

Thanks for starting this thread, subbie! As a newbie, cyber does seem to me to be the safest way to explore BDSM, but I've often wondered how real the experience could be since it is mostly in the imagination. It hadn't actually occured to me until recently that I might be expected to do things to myself at my partner's command .

My question has more to do with net security for folks who have incorporated cam into their cyber relationships. I live in a very tech savvy area and, being relatively tech inept, I've always been afraid that I would be providing live entertainment to the neighborhood if I added a cam. I do have all the standard things in place, but I was just wondering how you made sure that net security wasn't an issue. And for that matter, how do you/can you know what your partner is doing with the live feed? Thanks.

Although i am computer savvy, i don't know the answer to this. i'll try to do some research and get back to you.

 

[subbie_333]

*Waves at the tall, goodlooking gent and smiles, wiggling my toes in his direction*

Hey, there. I was told to ask for you... that you give... THE BEST....rubs....ever.

Oh, well, thank you

*looks over at Fotsie and sees that she is dozing, and, gently lays her foot down*

*moves over to the feet of Ryleigh*

um, what type of "rub" do you desire?

 

[LifelongCyn]

Thanks, subbie! You don't happen to have any Cherry Garcia in the deep freeze, do you?

 

[FunwithRyleigh]

Oh, well, thank you

*looks over at Fotsie and sees that she is dozing, and, gently lays her foot down*

*moves over to the feet of Ryleigh*

um, what type of "rub" do you desire?

One to make me smile... and relax... and moan.

One that will make me feel like I can't move a muscle because my body is completely at peace and all I can do is gaze over at you, my eyes only half open, and slowly nod my approval.

 

[subbie_333]

Thanks, subbie! You don't happen to have any Cherry Garcia in the deep freeze, do you?

Well, that freezer chest i got Fotsie's from is *all* Ben & Jerry's

 

[subbie_333]

One to make me smile... and relax... and moan.

One that will make me feel like I can't move a muscle because my body is completely at peace and all I can do is gaze over at you, my eyes only half open, and slowly nod my approval.

hhhhmmm That may take awhile. Do you have enough time?