Finding someone

[Kajira Callista]

How would you go about finding someone you haven't seen in 20 years without leaving a trail of any kind?

I need to tell someone something that I didn't tell them a very long time ago and it is becoming very distracting in my real world.

I just want to find that person and tell them without having to pay for a phone number or address with a credit card and without leaving a paper trail (or computer trail) to show I was looking for this person at all.

So how would you do it?

 

[WriterDom]

http://www.peoplefinders.com/?CMP=G..._term=people+finder&utm_campaign=pf+main&mt=e

I found myself pretty easy there. But it helps if you know what state they are in.

 

[Netzach]

G'Luck. I could never find my bio dad even with the whole Salvation Army thingie.

Sometimes you just have to write it on a slip of paper and burn it ceremonially or something.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I just googled my name (first and last) and found myself in a couple of places. Both are authentically me. One was facebook.

Have you tried this, dolly?

 

[graceanne]

I'd start with facebook and my space.

 

[Homburg]

Talk to me offline, darlin. Part of my job is occassionally finding people with limited info. I can probably give you some advice in finding this person.

 

[catalina_francisco]

KC, given you mention you do not want to leave a paper trail or any other such means of showing you have been looking for this person, is it something which could get you into trouble or risky position if you were discovered to have done this? You don't have to answer, but if so, I would hope you might find another way of dealing with your nagging feeling for your own sake as your life is coming together and you are building a good future for yourself which no-one is worth risking that future or yourself for, as difficult and necessary as it might seem right now. Don't give that power to anyone. If I am off base, I apologise and wish you all the best luck in locating them.

Catalina

 

[Yang4yin]

Once you find the person and hopefully the person's email address, send a self-destructing message. You can make it self-destruct in as little as 15-seconds or up to 5-minutes. The recipient doesn't even see your email address.



.

 

[kinkyknickers]

Once you find the person and hopefully the person's email address, send a self-destructing message. You can make it self-destruct in as little as 15-seconds or up to 5-minutes. The recipient doesn't even see your email address.



.

Oooh, I like that one, very handy indeed.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Once you find the person and hopefully the person's email address, send a self-destructing message. You can make it self-destruct in as little as 15-seconds or up to 5-minutes. The recipient doesn't even see your email address.



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Unfortunately, while this is true to an extent, the link still exists on the PC, and I imagine is traceable if need be and the person suspects who sent it in the first place.

Catalina

 

[Yang4yin]

Unfortunately, while this is true to an extent, the link still exists on the PC, and I imagine is traceable if need be and the person suspects who sent it in the first place.

Catalina

The link is there, but the message goes *poof* and the link is for the DestructingMessage site. Most people won't look any deeper than that.

The kicker is that the message is sent from an unrecignizable name and may be deleted without being opened. Also, the recipient has to click the link to see the message - which may not happen.


.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The link is there, but the message goes *poof* and the link is for the DestructingMessage site. Most people won't look any deeper than that.

The kicker is that the message is sent from an unrecignizable name and may be deleted without being opened. Also, the recipient has to click the link to see the message - which may not happen.


.

I'm more of a mind that if you feel the need to go to such lengths to remain anonymous and secretive, you probably would be better not dabbling in whatever you are dabbling in. In many cases it unravels quite disastrously and brings a truckload of problems with it, sometimes legal ones most could well do without. Sometimes things do not go the way we imagine they will when we are carried away with our ideas of how to deal with particular situations simply because the focus is tunnel visioned into seeing it playing out the way we want, not how it likely will or possibly could...often the initial problem does not make such continuing problems worthwhile. In those moments, hindsight can be a real bitch.

Catalina

 

[Bags]

My suggestion would be to get a trusted friend to do some digging online for you ... I have often had to "find people" for my friends and family .. if you know the "right" info, it's rather easy to do.
(it's amazing what's out there on the net btw!!)

 

[Mrs. Sanj]

My two cents is much the same as some other suggestions. I would leave well enough alone. The only reason you would have to look someone up that would be justified if it were me, is if it were something that would effect that other person's life such as medical information that they would need to know. If that's the case then do what you must to find them. If it's not and it's just something that effects you, find a way to make peace with yourself.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice.
I will continue to look for this person even if it may be a bad idea in some peoples opinions. What I have to say is important enough to take a few risks for.

 

[DVS]

Thank you all for your suggestions and advice.
I will continue to look for this person even if it may be a bad idea in some peoples opinions. What I have to say is important enough to take a few risks for.

I understand how you feel. I've often wanted to find old friends, just to see how they are doing, if nothing else. It bothers me sometimes, when I can't find someone I want to, because people move around so, these days.

I also understand a certain feeling that just won't go away, until you have a chance to address it properly. Sometimes your desires, or your conscience or your wishes to stay connected with friends just come to the surface.

Important enough to take a few risks for? The only thing I'd be reserved about was having my own information out in the Internet world for others to find. I'm a very private person, and I take great pride in knowing I can't be found that way.

Sure, I'm guessing someone could find me with the more expensive software that's out there, because I do purchase items on the Internet. But, I watch to be sure who I do business with, so I don't end up on someone's list.

And, just receiving undesirable spam is enough to piss me off, so friends that know my real name understand it's nothing less than an act of war to add my name to something, without asking me, first.

Other than getting yourself on some of those more undesirable lists, I'd not have a problem with looking for someone from your past. Like I said, I totally understand those "loose ends" type of feelings. They don't easily go away on their own. Sometimes, we just need to act.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Exactly DVS! Thanks for making me feel a lil less insane then i do most of the time.

 

[EmpressFi]

I found me..and my ex-husband and his current wife

 

[subwannabe]

Good luck