giving away my virginity

[polly_puppet]

I'm looking for someone to take my virginity in real life. I had someone in mind to do this but he turned out to be a horrible person so now I just want to get it over with. I could have someone I know do it but I'm afraid it would make friendships awkward or create a relationship that I don't want to have. Here are the qualifications that the person must meet:

1. No STDs.
2. Must be single. I'm not looking to develop a relationship, this is just for my personal satisfaction.
3. Must be 25-45 years old.
4. Must not be named Mike. This sounds like a joke, I know, but I'm serious. No Mikes.

That's it. If you fit the description and are interested then send me a private message or reply on this thread and we can get to know each other.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of "You're 21 and still a virgin? Why?" so I'll just answer that now. Something fucked up happened to me when I was a kid so up until this point I've had a hard time trusting men and feeling safe with them. I've been too scared, basically. I'm over that now.

Freaks and creepers need not apply. ;-)

 

[rainy_skyes]

I'm looking for someone to take my virginity in real life. I had someone in mind to do this but he turned out to be a horrible person so now I just want to get it over with. I could have someone I know do it but I'm afraid it would make friendships awkward or create a relationship that I don't want to have. Here are the qualifications that the person must meet:

1. No STDs.
2. Must be single. I'm not looking to develop a relationship, this is just for my personal satisfaction.
3. Must be 25-45 years old.
4. Must not be named Mike. This sounds like a joke, I know, but I'm serious. No Mikes.

That's it. If you fit the description and are interested then send me a private message or reply on this thread and we can get to know each other.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of "You're 21 and still a virgin? Why?" so I'll just answer that now. Something fucked up happened to me when I was a kid so up until this point I've had a hard time trusting men and feeling safe with them. I've been too scared, basically. I'm over that now.

Freaks and creepers need not apply. ;-)

Polly, I don't think it's that rare to still be a virgin at 21, and I urge you to think about what you're doing before you go through with this.

Not only is it very dangerous to meet up with someone online, especially for sex (yes, you know this, yada, yada, yada), but really think about whether you want your virginity to go to a stranger.

I'm not one of those people who thinks that virginity is holy in and of itself, but I do think that the first time should be something special, shared between people who care about each other. You may have sex hundreds of times after that, but your first time will always be your first, and you'll remember it.

Think hard about this, Polly. I'm all for self-empowerment, but is this how you want to remember your first time - as something you 'got over with' in the wake of a bad relationship?

Good luck to you!

~rain

 

[CWatson]

I'm with rainy_skyes on this one. And keep in mind that I'm not only a 25-year-old virgin, but a guy as well (and we all know that a real man is not a virgin), so I know how you feel and have wanted the same thing. In fact, once I started a Friends-w/-Benefits relationship for the very purpose. (It lasted about three hours before both of us realized that sex without strings held no appeal over us. We barely got to oral sex, much less penetration.)

Why do you want to get it over with? Is it simply to prove that you can? Well, I respect that, but I think there are much better ways and places to prove that. Besides, shouldn't you wait for someone who actually cares about you, and would be sensitive towards your goals and personal history? Do you honestly want to have sex with a stranger? (The person I was F/w/B with was also my best friend, and we could complete each other's sentences despite having only known each other for a month. Even that wasn't a strong enough bond.)

Sex is only as sacred as you decide it is. But, kiddo, I think you're selling yourself short in this case. =/

 

[niv78]

While I agree that you shouldnt have sex with just anyone that walks up I also dont view sex as a sacred thing. Making love, yes, having sex, no. If you are doing it for just pure sex with no strings attached then go for it, as long as you feel safe, it's a life experience that you should do as much of as possible before you get old.

 

[jockzon]

"Get it over with", is kind of strange. Don't worry about being a virgin. And, anyway, the first time you have sex will not be a representation of how good sex can be. The first time a girl has sex, it might seem strange, it might even hurt. Later on you can learn how to enjoy it. So, you need a special "first-time" partner, a guy who is gentle and understanding.

Good luck and don't push it! Let it come naturally!

 

[polly_puppet]

I'm with rainy_skyes on this one. And keep in mind that I'm not only a 25-year-old virgin, but a guy as well (and we all know that a real man is not a virgin), so I know how you feel and have wanted the same thing. In fact, once I started a Friends-w/-Benefits relationship for the very purpose. (It lasted about three hours before both of us realized that sex without strings held no appeal over us. We barely got to oral sex, much less penetration.)

Why do you want to get it over with? Is it simply to prove that you can? Well, I respect that, but I think there are much better ways and places to prove that. Besides, shouldn't you wait for someone who actually cares about you, and would be sensitive towards your goals and personal history? Do you honestly want to have sex with a stranger? (The person I was F/w/B with was also my best friend, and we could complete each other's sentences despite having only known each other for a month. Even that wasn't a strong enough bond.)

Sex is only as sacred as you decide it is. But, kiddo, I think you're selling yourself short in this case. =/

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

 

[Battle_Axe]

u never know, not all guys are assholes

 

[Ascended_Samster]

Well I'm not exactally 25, as a matter of fact I'm only 20. But I find myself to be more mature than older males. *shrug* I don't know, if you'd like to get to know me more just message me I guess.

Love --Sam

 

[MasterMischief]

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

Why do you think that?

 

[rainy_skyes]

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

Wait for it, then, Polly. You'll find someone. You seem like an intelligent, honest, kind person, and you deserve better than someone who only wants part of you. Hold out until you find someone who can appreciate who you are.

Oh, and I like your sig line - are you a Fiona Apple fan?

 

[RuneBlade]

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

Getting guys to like you for sex may help your self esteem at first, but it's a vicious cycle to enter into. You mentioned having something fucked up happen when you were younger, but now you're over it? Perhaps you would benefit from re-analyzing that statement. Sweeping things under a rug is not a way to get over things. You have to work through it, not use avoidance mechanisms to push them away.

Of course, I assumed a thing or two there, so you can just tell me to stfu.

Best of luck.

 

[SexyCleric]

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

Just my two cents, but there really is someone out there for everyone.

Don't give away your virginity.
If you do, you acknowledge that whatever dude hurt you before still has power over you.

Female empowerment is about more than fucking whoever you want.
It's about power. Power to make your own choices and not be controlled by anyone other than your self. Power is self assertion. You have value, because you fucking say so. Two way street though; if you only have attribute yourself value because others see you as valuable, then they can take that away from you. Power is will.

Buck up, kiddo.
Not all of us guys are jackasses, though many are.

With that said, most guys, my humble self included, don't really want to have sex with virgins once we get past a certain point.
Once you get past the thrill of setting the bar for someone, having sex with a virgin is just logistically a hassle.

Find yourself some deserving guy who's willing to show you the ropes. Maybe literally. Either way, you don't want to toss virginity away to any fool. Develop an emotional bond with someone; makes the sex worthwhile.

Blah, blah, blah, dangerous, blah, blah, blah, predators, blah.

 

[CWatson]

i won't find anyone who "actually cares about me"

I protest that remark. You're saying that, by pointing out the downsides of this course of action and suggesting you treat yourself like the beautiful, desirable woman you are--you're saying that, by doing this, I don't care about you? I must have a different definition of the word then!

Kiddo, let's be blunt: we could solve each other's problems. We're both in the same condition (virginal) and having the same thoughts about that condition. Potentially, we are the answer to each other's prayers. But I did not offer. If you just flew out to San Jose one day, or I flew out to Ohio, and we knocked boots just to "get it over with" and then went home again, I think you might regret it in the end. And that matters to me. Because, in point of fact... I actually care about you. (Ironically, this makes it completely possible for me to knock boots with you and walk away satisfied, but let's ignore that for the nonce. )

And I'm not the only one. You posted like 24 hours ago and already got eight or ten responses from people who care. They care enough to tell you that they think this is a bad idea--instead of just shrugging and letting you do something destructive*, which is what an indifferent person would do. (*Or at least, we think it would be destructive.) If you were looking for people who care, I think you've found some.

Obviously, finding sex with someone who cares might be harder; for instance, some of us posters are women. But it's probably not as hard as you think, since finding people who actually care about you took about five minutes.

Is there a reason why you need to have no-strings-attached sex? Is there something from your past or history that requires you to conquer your fears by schtupping a stranger? Are you realy just trying to get it over with, or is there something deeper going on?

 

[R_Falcoln]

Freaks and creepers need not apply. ;-)

Shit.

-Mr. Falcoln

 

[Steve-AvgGuy]

It just seems a little odd to me that someone who claims to "just want to get it over with", but previously posts - in their webpage - that "Mikey" has given her many wonderful orgasms (implying that virginity is long gone)...

Could it be that someone is not playing fair?
Or at least not playing with a full deck...


Things that make you go hmmmmmm....

 

[polly_puppet]

It just seems a little odd to me that someone who claims to "just want to get it over with", but previously posts - in their webpage - that "Mikey" has given her many wonderful orgasms (implying that virginity is long gone)...

Could it be that someone is not playing fair?
Or at least not playing with a full deck...


Things that make you go hmmmmmm....

oh no, he's given me amazing orgasms and my virginity is still intact. it's not that hard to figure out. he never penetrated.

still don't get it? his penis never went into my vagina. there you go.

 

[alekhorn]

very interesting thread, seems like quite a fantasy, but whatever it is I hope you find what your looking for. If you are truly a virgin, don't do it with some guy from the internet. Wait for a guy who treats you right and is someone you are attracted to!

Either way, be true to yourself!

Alek

 

[janeyl]

I'm looking for someone to take my virginity in real life. I had someone in mind to do this but he turned out to be a horrible person so now I just want to get it over with. I could have someone I know do it but I'm afraid it would make friendships awkward or create a relationship that I don't want to have. Here are the qualifications that the person must meet:

1. No STDs.
2. Must be single. I'm not looking to develop a relationship, this is just for my personal satisfaction.
3. Must be 25-45 years old.
4. Must not be named Mike. This sounds like a joke, I know, but I'm serious. No Mikes.

That's it. If you fit the description and are interested then send me a private message or reply on this thread and we can get to know each other.

I'm sure I'll get a lot of "You're 21 and still a virgin? Why?" so I'll just answer that now. Something fucked up happened to me when I was a kid so up until this point I've had a hard time trusting men and feeling safe with them. I've been too scared, basically. I'm over that now.

Freaks and creepers need not apply. ;-)

I'm so sad that your virginity seems to be viewed as a burden to be got over with

In fact I find this whole post so very sad-and I think you're lucky that all of the posters above appear to have been sensitive and caring enough to attempt to dispel your mistrust of men

I love this site and it's celebration of all kind of sexuality and sensuality and I'm almost glad you chose to try and share this here rather than somewhere with less scrupulous participants but I do find it very strange that you would go about things in this way especially in light of what you have disclosed about your childhood-i'm guessing that you allude to some form of abuse-but you appear to be offering yourself up to the potential of further abuse which is possibly the worst thing you could possibly do for your future mental health and ability to form satisfying, safe and fulfilling relationships, sexual or otherwise

My thoughts are possibly unwelcome but there you go-I wish you the best

Jane

 

[polly_puppet]

blarg.

 

[Battle_Axe]

so whats that suppose to mean?

 

[konman]

Well done

Folks, I'm truly astonished and impressed at the replies the lady received. Good advice.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22 or 23 years old. (I don't actually remember the which year it was) I have been exchanging oral with a steady boy friend, starting at 15. When I got to college the guys were like bulls in a china shop, so I had no interest in losing my virginity to any of them. I had been seeing a guy for over a year, when he was in town. He was a lot older and one night it just happened. It wasn't painful at all and was a very pleasant experience. I was comfortable with him. I was relaxed. He actually cared if it was good for me or not. He made sure I came, orally, before we had sex. It was memorable in a good way.

Most of my friends lost their to boy friends because they thought they should or it was "past due" (Or found a boy friend to do it with) and none of them had a good experience.

 

[Chorts]

I agree with the above - if genuine this is a pretty scary thread and to be honest pretty depressing. Find some real and that you get on well with and do the job properly, otherwise don't do it at all (would be my advice).

 

[veravera]

just my opinon

Here's my 2 cents on the subject, if it matters. I definitely see both sides of the topic. Polly Puppet, I totally understand where you are coming from. In fact I posted a similar thread offering my virginity in the Texas Fuck Buddies listing a few days ago. But i'm 28, which makes a huge difference, at least to me. I'm feeling a little desperate and soooo want to have sex but I'm too proud to admit my virginity at such an old age that its prevented me for years. If I meet a guy I like, I don't want to have to admit that to him so I end up missing out. I've been reading the replies to your thread and this is what I think.

You're 21, so still young, I've known SO MANY people who haven't lost their virginity till their early to mid 20's and the vast majority are really glad they waited, I've talked to alot of them about it. To be 21 and still a virgin is not a weird thing, it's perfectly normal....way more normal than you'd think. (I wish I would have known that at that age) I think you should make sure you are over whatever bad experience you might have had before you have sex, otherwise sex might be a bad experience and may continue to be one.

You will have plenty of opportunites, even if you don't think you will. I never thought I did, but looking back now I realize I did have the opportunites to lose my virginity I just had too many insecurities, and I was afraid to take that step. I never felt someone could truely find me lovable. It's taken me a long time to get over all of that, a long time and I now realize that's what I needed to do all along. Instead of worrying about not being normal for not having sex, I should have focused on overcoming my insecurites. I love who I am now, I can honestly say that where I never could before, my really only insecurity now is my lack of sexual experience and I'm not sure how I will overcome my fear of telling any guy I like that I'm a 28yr old virgin. That scares me.

Am I talking in circles? I guess what I'm saying is....make sure you are ready. You have plenty of time, you really do, and this is coming from someone in my position. If I was 21 again, I wouldn't even worry about being a virgin, so many 21yr olds are, just think about it, think about why you really want to have sex, is it for the right reasons?


I'm rethinking my thread now too, not that anyone replied to it anyway : ) You deserve more than a random internet fuck, I think we both do.

by the way, i hope i don't scare you by telling you I'm still a virgin at 28, please don't compare yourself with me.....just the fact alone that you are on this site at 21 shows you are way more open to your sexuality than i ever was at that age
Even though I've never had sex, I'm so much more of sexual person, at least in my desires and wants

and I'm not trying to judge you or your reasons....I'm just trying to explain my experience...or well lack there of

If you ever feel like talking PM me!
or if anyone has any advice for me I'd love to hear it.

 

[Tawny_Temptress]

No real man, or man worth having, is going to judge you on your number of sexual partners or being a virgin. I also know that the guy I lost my virginity to, never really intended to take my virginity. He knew I was a virgin from almost the beginning and never pushed me for sex. He sort of felt bad after it was over but we both got caught up in the heat of the moment. Once we realized sex was going to happen, he put the brakes on, slowed it down and made sure it was good for me. I do feel like he put my pleasure first. He really wanted me to enjoy it and not come out with a bad idea about what sex was.

I enjoy sex thoroughly. More than my other friends who had bad experiences their first time. I am not sure if one has anything to do with the other or not but a good first time can't hurt.