SeaCat
Hey, my Halo is smoking
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2003
- Posts
- 15,378
I admit it, but I just couldn't help myself.
Twice today my mouth got away from me when I knew it shouldn't.
The first time was when I was in the Hardware Store. I was picking up a couple of things for my next few projects when this thing approached me.
Yes thing. It was vaguely female in form. It was wearing an off the shoulder thin fabric brown blouse with a matching brown mini skirt. Under this she was wearing black hose and full size, heavily stitched cowboy boots. (Complete with the metal toe plates and fake mini spurs.) It was also about five feet tall and maybe four and a half feet wide. Oh did I mention the long Peroxide Blonde hair or the fact that she had obviously gone to the Tammy Fay School of Make Up? (She had enough war paint on to color the entire Seminole Nation.)
She came up to me and in a high pitched, screeching voice asked me if I knew of anything she could use to clean her patio. It was dirty. (I have no idea why she asked me and not someone who worked there.) Before I could stop myself I told her there was a new product out there that was just what she needed. It was called Sodium Hypochlorate and I was sure the staff at the store would be able to help her find some. I was out of there before she got around to asking any of the store clerks.
The second time was even worse I'm afraid. I was moving some of the lengths of pipe around ot back of my place when the idiot down the street came by. (It seems he was released the day he was arrested.) He sees me moving these pieces of pipe and comes over to ask what I'm doing. I couldn't help myself. I told him I was getting ready for the Hurricanes while I made the comment I wished I had a storm ward.
He asked me what a storm ward was and I told him. This is a windchime like device made from roughly ten inch diameter metal disks. It requires at least twenty disks hung in a pyramidal shape. This is then hung in an open place so the wind can hit it.
At first he told me I was full of it then I told him it was a scientific fact reported in the best newspapers. papers like the National Enquirer, U.S. News and others. It had been tested overseas and found to work incredibly well. That did it for him and he was off collecting ten inch metal disks.
Later I could hear him hammering on metal in his patio. I could also look around and see that many of my neighbors were now missing their hub caps. From the number of missing hub caps I'm sure the resulting windchime will be monumental in size and racket thereby allowing my neighbors to easily find their missing hubcaps.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be playing mind games with the mindless.
Cat
Twice today my mouth got away from me when I knew it shouldn't.
The first time was when I was in the Hardware Store. I was picking up a couple of things for my next few projects when this thing approached me.
Yes thing. It was vaguely female in form. It was wearing an off the shoulder thin fabric brown blouse with a matching brown mini skirt. Under this she was wearing black hose and full size, heavily stitched cowboy boots. (Complete with the metal toe plates and fake mini spurs.) It was also about five feet tall and maybe four and a half feet wide. Oh did I mention the long Peroxide Blonde hair or the fact that she had obviously gone to the Tammy Fay School of Make Up? (She had enough war paint on to color the entire Seminole Nation.)
She came up to me and in a high pitched, screeching voice asked me if I knew of anything she could use to clean her patio. It was dirty. (I have no idea why she asked me and not someone who worked there.) Before I could stop myself I told her there was a new product out there that was just what she needed. It was called Sodium Hypochlorate and I was sure the staff at the store would be able to help her find some. I was out of there before she got around to asking any of the store clerks.
The second time was even worse I'm afraid. I was moving some of the lengths of pipe around ot back of my place when the idiot down the street came by. (It seems he was released the day he was arrested.) He sees me moving these pieces of pipe and comes over to ask what I'm doing. I couldn't help myself. I told him I was getting ready for the Hurricanes while I made the comment I wished I had a storm ward.
He asked me what a storm ward was and I told him. This is a windchime like device made from roughly ten inch diameter metal disks. It requires at least twenty disks hung in a pyramidal shape. This is then hung in an open place so the wind can hit it.
At first he told me I was full of it then I told him it was a scientific fact reported in the best newspapers. papers like the National Enquirer, U.S. News and others. It had been tested overseas and found to work incredibly well. That did it for him and he was off collecting ten inch metal disks.
Later I could hear him hammering on metal in his patio. I could also look around and see that many of my neighbors were now missing their hub caps. From the number of missing hub caps I'm sure the resulting windchime will be monumental in size and racket thereby allowing my neighbors to easily find their missing hubcaps.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be playing mind games with the mindless.
Cat
