How is a pregnancy confirmed? (I want to know for a story I'm writing)

[vaathsyaayana]

I've got a question, I'd like an answer, especially from any women here who have actually been pregnant... or if anyone else who is appropriately knowledgeable can provide an answer, that would be highly appreciated too...

BASICALLY, IT'S FOR THE FIRST (OPENING) SCENE IN MY STORY...

My question is, would a woman ever go to her doctor to have her pregnancy confirmed without first using a home pregnancy test kit?

The story I'm writing is what you might call a cuckold story... it's about a woman who desperately wants to have children, but her husband is infertile, so she sleeps with another man (with her husband's consent).

ABOUT THE OPENING SCENE (as I've planned it so far):

The woman is in the doctor’s clinic, waiting to hear the results of her pregnancy test.

"We have your results... you're pregnant," the doctor tells her.

A few moments of silence pass by. The woman then finds her breath again. "I beg your pardon?" she says. With a gentle, sympathetic smile, the doctor says to her again, "Yes... congratulations... you're pregnant".

The woman wells up. She is astounded... overjoyed... She cries tears of joy and relief at finally getting pregnant. She is so overwhelmed, she is unable to speak for several moments.

The doctor notices from her medical notes that her husband was found to be infertile over a year ago, and therefore briefly asks if they had any fertility treatment, or if they used a sperm donor. The woman denies both, but the doctor understands the unspoken message from the look in the woman’s eyes.​

The story then narrates how the woman had to have intercourse with another man to get pregnant. She had sex every night for one week (because a woman is most fertile for roughly a week during the middle of her menstrual cycle, right?), and ended up falling in love with the man. So the story's going to have at least seven sex scenes... I'm going to struggle (I haven't got the best vocabulary in the world, so it's going to be hard writing seven sex scenes without getting too repetitive... still, I'll try).

The sex scenes are described in a series of flashbacks.

I intend to describe how the husband feels utterly humiliated but helpless as the other man thoroughly enjoys his wife, and even more humiliated that she enjoys the sex too (he was hoping she would just lie there while the man did what he had to do).

The narration (as I’ve planned it so far) ends with a final description of the woman giving birth (she asked her husband for permission to have the other man present at the birth, but her husband denies permission), and then in the last scene of the story she takes her baby to see its biological father once, one last time, and then as she returns to her husband, she tells herself to think about the future, to think about how she’s going to raise her child.

My questions:

1. Would a woman always have a home pregnancy test first, or would she ever go to her doctor first to have her pregnancy confirmed? (i.e. so the first time she finds out would be from her doctor?) Or do women tend to have home pregnancy tests first and then go to their doctors just to make sure? If a woman would be more likely to use a home pregnancy test first, then I’m going to have to change the first scene – I feel the first scene (as I've described above) wouldn't work if the woman had a home test that had already showed she was pregnant, so I'll have to think of a different dramatic opening for the story.

2. The first scene as I’ve described it – could it properly be called a prologue?

3. The last scene as I’ve described it here – could it properly be called an epilogue?

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[vaathsyaayana]

PrincessErin, thanks so much for the reply. By the way, I've slightly edited my original post.

Wish I wasn't as knowledgable on this subject...

I'm not going to ask, but I hope I haven't brought back any painful/unpleasant memories.

 

[DrHappy]

I'm a guy, but I'm aware of the process used by the women that I know. I'm also a happy father.

If they are already trying to get pregnant, they will typically have several home pregnancy tests on hand. If they weren't trying to get pregnant, but have a late period, they will often quickly pick one or more up at the drug store. If they get one or more positives (usually down on consecutive days), then they will schedule an appointment with the doctor. My wife's doctor first does a urine test, and then a blood test if the urine test is positive.

If they are trying to get pregnant, they may also have a ovulation tests at home which they will use to determine the best times to have sex.

There are certain medical procedures which shouldn't be performed while pregnant. I know of someone who was surprised with a positive pregnancy test before undergoing a medical procedure. She wasn't able to get the procedure performed because she was pregnant.

 

[Plainly_Jane]

I've got a question, I'd like an answer, especially from any women here who have actually been pregnant... or if anyone else who is appropriately knowledgeable can provide an answer, that would be highly appreciated too...

BASICALLY, IT'S FOR THE FIRST (OPENING) SCENE IN MY STORY...

My question is, would a woman ever go to her doctor to have her pregnancy confirmed without first using a home pregnancy test kit?

The story I'm writing is what you might call a cuckold story... it's about a woman who desperately wants to have children, but her husband is infertile, so she sleeps with another man (with her husband's consent).

The narration of the story (as I’ve planned it so far) opens with a scene where the woman is in the doctor’s clinic, where she's told that her pregnancy test has confirmed that she’s pregnant. The woman is overjoyed, and cries tears of joy and relief at finally getting pregnant. She is so overwhelmed, she is unable to speak for several moments. The doctor notices from her medical notes that her husband was found to be infertile over a year ago, and the doctor therefore briefly asks if they had any fertility treatment, or if they used a sperm donor. The woman denies both, but the doctor understands the unspoken message from the look in the woman’s eyes.

The story then narrates how the woman had to have intercourse with another man to get pregnant. She had sex every night for one week (because a woman is most fertile for roughly a week during the middle of her menstrual cycle, right?), and ended up falling in love with the man. So the story's going to have at least seven sex scenes... I'm going to struggle (I haven't got the best vocabulary in the world, so it's going to be hard writing seven sex scenes without getting too repetitive... still, I'll try).

The sex scenes are then described in a series of flashbacks.

I intend to describe how the husband feels utterly humiliated but helpless as the other man thoroughly enjoys his wife, and even more humiliated that she enjoys the sex too (he was hoping she would just lie there while the man did what he had to do).

The narration (as I’ve planned it so far) ends with a final description of the woman giving birth (she asked her husband for permission to have the other man present at the birth, but her husband denies permission), and then in the last scene of the story she takes her baby to see its biological father once, one last time, and then as she returns to her husband, she tells herself to think about the future, to think about how she’s going to raise her child.

My questions:

1. Would a woman always have a home pregnancy test first, or would she ever go to her doctor first to have her pregnancy confirmed? (i.e. so the first time she finds out would be from her doctor?) Or do women tend to have home pregnancy tests first and then go to their doctors just to make sure? If a woman would be more likely to use a home pregnancy test first, then I’m going to have to change the first scene – I feel there wouldn't be so much of an emotional impact on the woman if a home test had already showed she was pregnant, so I'll have to think of a different dramatic opening for the story.

2. The first scene as I’ve described it – could it properly be called a prologue?

3. The last scene as I’ve described it here – could it properly be called an epilogue?

In answer to the first question -- it seems like the woman in your story would NOT have a home pregnancy test lying around the house, because the husband is shooting blanks and what if he ran across it in the medicine cabinet?

However, if she was trying to get pregnant, it seems likely she'd have one or two (or more) on hand at work perhaps.

As to the emotional impact of getting the pregnancy confirmed, I can speak to my own experience. I suspected I was pregnant, got the home pregnancy test with said I was pregnant, then went in to see the doctor to have it confirmed. They got the results the next day and called me, confirmed the pregnancy. At that point, it was still a bit unreal. Where the real emotional impact kicked in, was going in a day or two later for the sonogram. I could see the tiny little fetus already developing at seven weeks, and that's when I cried like a baby.

Secondly, a woman would normally go see her OB/gyn for a pregnancy test, or follow up through her pregnancy, not her general practitioner. So the OB/Gyn should not be privy to the status of this woman's husband's medical condition. However, if it is a key element in your story, I could see why you might handle the scene that way.

Thirdly, not sure how much reality you want to intrude into your story - but the doctor should know who both parents are, their medical history, and so on. And also in reality, the actual father would have parental rights, regardless of the marital status of the mom. So, while the husband could say, "I don't want the bio dad at the birth," he doesn't legally have that right. And bio dad could sue for visitation, shared custody, and so on.

But like I said, your story is fantasy, not reality. Just be aware that readers might point stuff like that out in their comments.

 

[vaathsyaayana]

Again, to Plainly_Jane and DrHappy, thanks for your replies, I edited my first post yet again.

Plainly_Jane, a HUGE thank you to you for telling me a bit about how it was for you.

Thirdly, not sure how much reality you want to intrude into your story - but the doctor should know who both parents are, their medical history, and so on. And also in reality, the actual father would have parental rights, regardless of the marital status of the mom. So, while the husband could say, "I don't want the bio dad at the birth," he doesn't legally have that right. And bio dad could sue for visitation, shared custody, and so on.

About that, the bio father in the story, he recognises that he is essentially acting as a sperm donor, and nothing more, just that the process of insemination is a little different from the usual method of insemination by donor.

As I understand it, in most countries, sperm donors do not have any parental rights, do they? Although I am aware that e.g. in the U.K. donor-conceived children can ask for information on their biological/genetic parents once they reach the age of eighteen, right?

About how much "reality" I want in the story... there are certain points on which I'm going to have to deviate wildly from reality... for instance, why don't the couple use donor sperm? The reason in the story: the couple are ethnic South Asians (Indians) living somewhere where the local sperm bank doesn't stock any sperm from Indian donors... so the woman decides to get pregnant by an aquaintance who is of mixed Hispanic and African ethnicity... Now does that seem vaguely believable?

Yet, on other points, I'd like to get it as "realistic" as possible... if that makes sense...

Correct me if any of my assumptions are wrong... I REALLY DO NOT WISH TO OFFEND ANYONE, I APOLOGISE IF I HAVE INADVERTENTLY OFFENDED ANYONE... thanks!!!

 

[Eilan]

So the OB/Gyn should not be privy to the status of this woman's husband's medical condition.

When my husband and his ex had fertility issues, the OB/GYN was privy to his medical issues, even though he obviously didn't treat them. It helped the doc decide on a further plan of action, referrals to specialists, etc. It was very much a cooperative effort involving my husband, his ex, his urologist, and her OB/GYN

And also in reality, the actual father would have parental rights, regardless of the marital status of the mom. So, while the husband could say, "I don't want the bio dad at the birth," he doesn't legally have that right. And bio dad could sue for visitation, shared custody, and so on.

In some states, marital presumption still carries more weight than biology, which means that a man who fathers a child with a woman who is married to someone else might have a tough time establishing paternity, even with a DNA test that shows he's the father. Interesting article here.

 

[Plainly_Jane]

When my husband and his ex had fertility issues, the OB/GYN was privy to his medical issues, even though he obviously didn't treat them. It helped the doc decide on a further plan of action, referrals to specialists, etc. It was very much a cooperative effort involving my husband, his ex, his urologist, and her OB/GYN

In some states, marital presumption still carries more weight than biology, which means that a man who fathers a child with a woman who is married to someone else might have a tough time establishing paternity, even with a DNA test that shows he's the father. Interesting article here.

Yes, it's an evolving area of the law, with each state grappling with the best resolution when legal issues arise - and I believe that is because the best interests of the child are supposed to be placed above any presumed rights of biological parents (and should be). However, it's still a gray area and a situation I wouldn't want to place myself or my child in - as laws change sometimes.

However, since it's a fictional story on this site, the author can have the story resolve in any fashion he or she wishes

 

[SweetErika]

I do a home test when my period is at least two weeks late (I don't want to get my hopes up if it's just a little late due to stress or whatever, or know if I miscarry that early, and I've had a test come back negative at two weeks, even though I was pregnant ). I'm guessing most other women who are trying to conceive test as soon as the test says they can ("This test is accurate X days before your period!"), when their period is due or when it's a few days late.

If that comes back positive, I'll re-test a couple of days later to be sure, and then I see my doctor for a blood test. A urine test at the doctor is a waste of MY time and money, as it just confirms what I already know, and either way, I have to have the blood tests anyway, to either confirm and approximate the stage of the pregnancy, or, if it comes back negative, to confirm a miscarriage. I bet doctors who do urine tests when they're going to a blood test anyway charge about $30 for the urine test that I can get at the store for $5.

If you're looking for realism, have your character try for a few cycles. Women can't get pregnant every cycle, and a lot of pregnancies terminate very early on, before women even know they're pregnant (that is, if they don't test right away). Therefore, it's unlikely she'd get pregnant AND carry to term the first cycle she tries with the "sperm donor." As much as we worry about pregnancy when we're trying to avoid, it's actually pretty difficult to get and stay pregnant, statistically speaking - everything has to be in perfect alignment!

 

[PrincessErin]

.....

 

[infinity706]

The really short answer is a woman pisses on a stick.

Now, the long answer, there's a hormone that increases drastically in level after conception. The level of the hormone is generally used as the basis of determining pregnancy. Also, there will likely be some symptoms such as morning sickness, unusual cravings, etc. It varies based on the woman, but there's generally some kind of sign. Of course, you could potentially get a false positive on a pregnancy test if you have cancer since some types also secrete the hormone such as cervical cancer.

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

Don't know if this helps any.. but with my first I did the home test and got a faint positive (even after 2 wks being late!!)... dr put me in stirrups and took a peek and looked at my cervix and declared me pregnant. With the second one I took 3 home tests, all negative. Took one the day I was due, one 3 days after that and the last one a week after that. Took blood work to confirm it that time.

 

[Weird Harold]

My questions:

1. Would a woman always have a home pregnancy test first, or would she ever go to her doctor first to have her pregnancy confirmed? (i.e. so the first time she finds out would be from her doctor?) Or do women tend to have home pregnancy tests first and then go to their doctors just to make sure? If a woman would be more likely to use a home pregnancy test first, then I’m going to have to change the first scene – I feel the first scene (as I've described above) wouldn't work if the woman had a home test that had already showed she was pregnant, so I'll have to think of a different dramatic opening for the story.

Your outline is perfectly logical and essentially a typical scene for any pregnancy that occured before about 1975-1980, in the US. Therefore, the solution to your main question is to backdate the entire story twenty to thirty years to a time before home pregnancy tests were common or even possible (depending on locale and time period.)

There was a period in the US when, like early birthcontrol pills, home pregnancy tests required a prescription and could NOT be prescribed for unmarried women.

2. The first scene as I’ve described it – could it properly be called a prologue?

I'm not sure what the exact technical definition of a prologue is, but I would consider your outline to be within whatever the definition is.

3. The last scene as I’ve described it here – could it properly be called an epilogue?

Whether the ending is an epilogue or not would depend on how much of a time gap there is from the main body of the story -- I suspect it would be unless you carry the story through her entire pregnancy.