Is bdsm a little to vague a term?

[RicoLouis]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

 

[Bollocks_Bitch]

I don't think the term is vague at all. I think that people use the term BDSM like they drink water...way way too freely. Liking a little pervertedness...a little discipline...humiliation...a spank...here and there...means you are a little kinky...that is it. BDSM is a lifestyle. Have you ever heard of the website fetlife.com? You should visit it. It's the only place that I know that harmonizes fetishes and BDSM successfully.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

BB, I have to tell you that you have the most obnoxious sig I've seen in a very long time. Congrats.

 

[minx1]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

I don't think the term is vague at all. I think that people use the term BDSM like they drink water...way way too freely. Liking a little pervertedness...a little discipline...humiliation...a spank...here and there...means you are a little kinky...that is it. BDSM is a lifestyle. Have you ever heard of the website fetlife.com? You should visit it. It's the only place that I know that harmonizes fetishes and BDSM successfully.

I think that its all encompassing, thats all.

Just as vanilla is a broad term and people ''fit'' into that category to varying degrees.
I think its the same here. People relate to it, but to varying degrees. Some live 24/7, others don't. Some enjoy ''hardcore'' bondage or pain, others don't. If people identify with this term and various aspects of BDSM, cool.

 

[Bollocks_Bitch]

BB, I have to tell you that you have the most obnoxious sig I've seen in a very long time. Congrats.

I know. Sorry. I just haven't gotten around to changing it yet. lol

 

[desertslave]

I prefer a little vagueness to One True Wayism.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I prefer a little vagueness to One True Wayism.

Applauds, applauds!!!

 

[ataxia.girl]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

Are you just having trouble finding the particular porn you're after? There are lots of terms for the different sub sets of BDSM. i don't automatically think sub and dom at all when i think BDSM. i personally think more along the lines of Humbert\lolita cuz twisted, fucked-up ageplay is my thing but i don't go looking for information on my particular kink by googling "BDSM". i wouldn't find much.

 

[00Syd]

The whole point of the term BDSM is that it is all encompassing, finding one word to pull together a lot of kinks that for many people are related and intertwined but don't necessarily have to be. So while BDSM is a good all encompassing term, its also helpful to be able to pull out the specific terms that interest you, be it Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, or Sado-Masochism. And if you can get even more specific than that, like ataxia.girl and ageplay, then it'll be even easier to find what your looking for. But that doesn't change the inherent usefulness of such a broad term as BDSM to pull it all together.

 

[RicoLouis]

Are you just having trouble finding the particular porn you're after? There are lots of terms for the different sub sets of BDSM. i don't automatically think sub and dom at all when i think BDSM. i personally think more along the lines of Humbert\lolita cuz twisted, fucked-up ageplay is my thing but i don't go looking for information on my particular kink by googling "BDSM". i wouldn't find much.

No not really trouble finding what I like. Its just my taste changes from day to day. Varity is the spice of life. : )

 

[Harmony_1985]

BDSM is a vague term, but only because it covers so many different aspects of a lifestyle.

It doesn't tie you down to one specific thing. I've never heard of 2 BDSM lifestyles being the same.

 

[bashfull]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

Rico,

I agree. There is a difference between Bondage/Discipline, S&M, and D/S. Just because someone wishes to be dominated, does not mean that person wishes to be spanked, gagged, lashed, whipped, pinned, etc. And I've known some people who enjoyed being tied up, blindfolded, deprived of senses but who do not enjoy any form of pain. So yes, I would agree that BDSM is too broad a term. However, it is a good general forum title.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I know. Sorry. I just haven't gotten around to changing it yet. lol

Sorry, I was grouchy that day. I'm epileptic and sigs that flash and flicker irk me no end as by the time I've flitted around the threads and read through stuff, I end up with a headache. But you're by no means the only culprit and if I weren't such a curious bitch I'd just disable sigs completely.

Ignore me.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Just because someone wishes to be dominated, does not mean that person wishes to be spanked, gagged, lashed, whipped, pinned, etc. And I've known some people who enjoyed being tied up, blindfolded, deprived of senses but who do not enjoy any form of pain. So yes, I would agree that BDSM is too broad a term. However, it is a good general forum title.

I agree. The onus here is to be as inclusive as possible so that people with all types of BDSM interest feel able to become as much a part of the Lit BDSM community as they choose to.

As has often been said here, BDSM is a huge buffet of activities that people graze at as they choose to, taking what they like and leaving what they don't. We have more specific terms like sub, dom/me and switch but even they can become restrictive and exclusive, which is why when broadly including everyone who enjoys wielding power and/or inflicting pain, we use the catch-all-exclude-none term of PYL (pick your label) and when referring to those who like being controlled and/or receiving pain, we use lower case pyl.

It's all just jargon and once you've been here a while, you won't even see it. Cypher in The Matrix sat staring at walls of code and said to Neo, 'I don't even see the symbols any more, I just see a blonde or a brunette.' It feels clumsy and annoying to start with but before long, it'll make sense.

 

[YourCaptor]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

BDSM is all those. Vague I think is not the word you are looking for, are you thinking more along the lines of ambiguous?

I have sometimes wondered why it’s like that, what I come up with is that BDSM is probably just a “secret handshake” sort of thing, to find out if the other person is open to talking about more deviant sexual things.

It's not so much and activity or even a genre term, it's become a category.

I think I would prefer just saying deviant sex myself, but even then people would probably still be shy about opening up.

 

[Xelebes]

By design it is vague. It is supposed to all-encompassing like the term "fetish".

 

[Netzach]

I pretty much only wear business on the rare occasions I do public now, as do my guys. No one's thrown us out of anything yet.

 

[subbie_333]

Is it just me or does bdsm just sort of seem like to broad a term. I mean someone like me may enjoy a little s&m. But I saw a video one time that just involved the s&m with no sex and I wasn’t interested in the least. But if you put some girl doing another with a strap on and she is pulling her hair or slapping her on the ass I can totally dig it. Bondage is something else. Light bondage I don’t mind so much. A pair of hand cuffs are okay but some one tied up in a hog tied position isn’t really my cup of tea. I personally think there is something more powerful about telling someone to bend over while you spank them then tying them down and doing it. Even the domination part which I love. Comes of a bit to conclusive. One automatically thinks a sub and dom. One person totally in control while the other person does what every there told. I like it. But a little power struggle can be fun now and then. Also there are the images of some leather clad person. Why not a nice business suit or something. Clothes ripping is always fun. And where is the discipline and humiliation. In Bdsm. I hope this doesn’t come off as totally dribble, Maybe someone can make some sense of my ramblings.

If you are referring to and asking only about porn, then, yeah, you will get things labeled in a weird way as well as relationships/scenarios that don't make a lot of sense. But, are you speaking about real life BDSM, or, what you see in porn?

 

[RicoLouis]

Both.

 

[subbie_333]

Both.

Well, to begin with, separate porn from real life BDSM. i don't know if there are any videos that *really* show a good and/or realistic BDSM relationship. Pornos are titled and described to get you to buy it, even if they have to stretch the truth or flat out lie. So, if you want to learn about real life BDSM, forget about pornos and talk to real people about real stuff.

 

[RicoLouis]

Oh belive me I know. I think of porn as in a sense as comedy. Mainly the dialogue. Other wise I am not getting the full service when the lady delivers my pizza.

 

[ivantheterrible]

too vague? maybe. but the main thing , for me, for bdsm is that it goes much further than just the sex, or an orgasm. there is the MIND first. then the other senses come into play. and the final greatness is the orgasm. just icing on the cake.
i've gotten to the point where "vanilla" sex just bores the hell out of me. it is only done on a rare occasion just because you are horny and nothing else.

 

[YourCaptor]

Oh belive me I know. I think of porn as in a sense as comedy. Mainly the dialogue. Other wise I am not getting the full service when the lady delivers my pizza.

Just a though, but imagine non comedic porn (as in happy ending) ... tragic porn, that would be so hot.

 

[ivantheterrible]

humans have sex. animals fuck (mate). bdsm = sex. people who just fuck, to me, are no more different than animals. they don't explore the mind.

 

[00Syd]

humans have sex. animals fuck (mate). bdsm = sex. people who just fuck, to me, are no more different than animals. they don't explore the mind.

Shit, I like a good animalistic fuck now and again (and again and again). If that means I'm not human, so be it!