Cutie vs. the Slut

[Guest]

the cutie vs.the slut

you will often see this argument here. Whenever the virginal 18-year old character appears in a story, and learns about the facts of life, she must then become a woman. If after that she goes back to behaving like the 18 year old that she is, then the author will be flamed.

I am all of consistency and surely have sinned while trying to build realistic characters (I am one of those crazy characters that goes about with worlds on their heads - they are alive to me).

But seriously, is it like this in real life? Does a young woman socialized from birth to be cutie, and agreeable, and nice, become so changed by a slutty sex act that from them on she must take on a different demeanor? Must she give up the courtesy, the respect of a partner in order to be sexually realized?

Does all that socialization disappear that way? What if the woman does not want to change?

It is something that has been bothering me for a while.

Maharat

 

[Liar]

But seriously, is it like this in real life? Does a young woman socialized from birth to be cutie, and agreeable, and nice, become so changed by a slutty sex act that from them on she must take on a different demeanor? Must she give up the courtesy, the respect of a partner in order to be sexually realized?

Naah.

 

[TxRad]

the cutie vs.the slut

you will often see this argument here. Whenever the virginal 18-year old character appears in a story, and learns about the facts of life, she must then become a woman. If after that she goes back to behaving like the 18 year old that she is, then the author will be flamed.

I am all of consistency and surely have sinned while trying to build realistic characters (I am one of those crazy characters that goes about with worlds on their heads - they are alive to me).

But seriously, is it like this in real life? Does a young woman socialized from birth to be cutie, and agreeable, and nice, become so changed by a slutty sex act that from them on she must take on a different demeanor? Must she give up the courtesy, the respect of a partner in order to be sexually realized?

Does all that socialization disappear that way? What if the woman does not want to change?

It is something that has been bothering me for a while.

Maharat

Been there done that, got the scorched t-shirts to prove it. A while back I posted a story called "Wet". The idea was to explore the line between a good girl and a slut within one character. I got flamed for everything from rape to being told i was completely off base. What could a man know of female struggles after all. Since a woman edited it for me and agreed all along the way, it shouldn't have been that far off.

Anyway, i like characters like that. Ones that explore themselves as they explore the world.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Maharat, IMHO, while there can be nuonced "coming-of-age" type story lines, around here it's primarily an oversimplified sexual fantasy.

However, it does reminds me a bit of the fear some, admittedly very naive', young women had way back in the pre-sexual revolution era that if they ever did the "dirty deed" when single, they'd love it so much they'd become wanton sluts always looking to get laid, honest.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Liar]

Ok, longer answer.

In reality, she might change profoundly, or she might just as well not. It's just that "she might not" doesn't make for very agreeable erotica. Erotica plays up the importance of sex. If a chaste character gets screwed seven ways to sunday, but the story edns up with the conclusion that sex isn't really that big a deal, the story doesn't appeal as much.

Contrast makes for an interresting story. If sex goes from "hell no" to "hell yes" in the mind of the lass in question, it's an easy sell. If it goes from "hell no" to "meh" (or to still "hell no"), the reader feels cheated, of the expected drama. What's a story without some drama? Dull. Even if there's fucking.

 

[TxRad]

Ok, longer answer.

In reality, she might change profoundly, or she might just as well not. It's just that "she might not" doesn't make for very agreeable erotica. Erotica plays up the importance of sex. If a chaste character gets screwed seven ways to sunday, but the story edns up with the conclusion that sex isn't really that big a deal, the story doesn't appeal as much.

Contrast makes for an interresting story. If sex goes from "hell no" to "hell yes" in the mind of the lass in question, it's an easy sell. If it goes from "hell no" to "meh" (or to still "hell no"), the reader feels cheated, of the expected drama. What's a story without some drama? Dull. Even if there's fucking.

I tried to have a stronger character come out a the end of the story. Readers don't seem to like strong female characters so much. Maybe it takes the easy out of the equation.

 

[emap]

Yeah but rumple, that is a valid fear, I'm actually something of a proof of that one.

It does happen that after trying sex she wants more and will do things that before sex would have been a no way thing. It also happens that she will have sex, and stay the same she was, well not really, having sex once does get you to look at the world differently. So there would be a change, but generally the behavior does stay pretty close to the before sex, unless she turns into a sex addict, which don't exist according to science but dangit there are so many that seem to be pretty darn addicted. Me included though I'm getting better.

I think the biggest problem is that showing how changed a woman is after sex isn't something most do because of well time constraints or whatever, they just want to get the story done and not spend half a lit page talking about how different everything looks after sex. They also don't talk about why she is addicted to sex beyond it feels good.

I mean dang yes we know sex feels good but why does it feel so good she is now spreading her legs for the Dallas Cowboys.

 

[DG Hear]

It's just a part of life and how we handle it. Like everything else, not everyone's the same. How many guys can say after having sex the first time that it was enough and never changed them?

We all grow and hope we keep most of our morals in tact. Many stray but do realize that life is more than just the sex. Many find this when they meet that special partner when sex becomes love.

I guess that is where our fantacies hurt us. We would all like to live them out but the fantacy is better than the real life sex exploits. It's like bad habits, hard to give up but it is possible. Like many habits, people fall back in to them. Many trying to find that experience they once had but cannot achieve it.

Damn, sounds like most of my stories.
DG

 

[Recidiva]

There's an alternative to cynicism.

There's no real need to play the game of proving how smart or tough you are, and ultimately the company of the people who want you to do that is unrewarding.

There's an innocence to Superman also. It's not because he's weak, it's because he's invulnerable or immune.

There's a way to remain charming, if not "cute" by realizing there are dangers and troubles and just coping with them when and if they arrive, instead of being constantly defensive and never letting anything in based on past harm. There's a way to embrace letting things in based on past successes.

It's like putting up a good immune system. Sometimes you don't even know if a cold you've had before is attacking your immune system, 'cause it's just not going to get to you. And you don't have to stand and point "COLD! OMG! COLD! RIGHT HERE!"

Acceptance of all the nastiness of the world and immunity to it gives you an alternative. Yes, some people are always going to flame that as naive or unrealistic. Fuck 'em.

I've relied upon my willingness to try new things and then learn and heal from them. This doesn't make me innocent, it makes me trusting in my own ability to learn and heal.

So flame away. It is a lot more interesting than being brittle and knowing and boring as hell.

 

[jomar]

But seriously, is it like this in real life? Does a young woman socialized from birth to be cutie, and agreeable, and nice, become so changed by a slutty sex act that from them on she must take on a different demeanor? Must she give up the courtesy, the respect of a partner in order to be sexually realized?

Does all that socialization disappear that way? What if the woman does not want to change?

She has to come to terms that she did something out of character for her, but realizing she enjoys some slutty sex doesn't mean she can't be a lady in the parlor and all that. I like those women! Nor does she have to lose self respect or respect of a partner as she integrates that self-knowedge. It's about acceptance and trust. If she does lose those respects then something else is operating.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I think this is mainly a male fantasy. Every man wants to believe he has the power to turn any woman into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac. That's all there is to it.

 

[3113]

I think this is mainly a male fantasy. Every man wants to believe he has the power to turn any woman into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac.

Too bad only lesbians can turn women into sex-crazed nymphomaniacs

 

[Munachi]

my impression is that erotic stories aren't the most realistic type of story.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yeah but rumple, that is a valid fear, I'm actually something of a proof of that one.

It does happen that after trying sex she wants more and will do things that before sex would have been a no way thing. It also happens that she will have sex, and stay the same she was, well not really, having sex once does get you to look at the world differently. So there would be a change, but generally the behavior does stay pretty close to the before sex, unless she turns into a sex addict, which don't exist according to science but dangit there are so many that seem to be pretty darn addicted. Me included though I'm getting better.

I think the biggest problem is that showing how changed a woman is after sex isn't something most do because of well time constraints or whatever, they just want to get the story done and not spend half a lit page talking about how different everything looks after sex. They also don't talk about why she is addicted to sex beyond it feels good.

I mean dang yes we know sex feels good but why does it feel so good she is now spreading her legs for the Dallas Cowboys.

Because that's how good it feels. It's the best hobby going!

Because we have, for thousands of years, known that sex=baby, and we've been able to have non-procreative sex for about a half-century. That's simply not long enough for the mores to change. Because sex no longer = baby, the rational became; sex = holy communion between a committed couple. This can be true. But it's not the only paradigm for sex.

We have no problem understanding multiple nuances for other activities or things. Everyone knows that there are many reasons to drive a car, and many ways, and many cars to drive. Everyone understands that some people play tennis a few times in their lives, some play every weekend, some become pros. And any human activity can slide up the scale into excess. Drinking, music-making, writing, any activity-- passive or creative -- can turn on the endorphin machine.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

I think that women of all ages are capable of gradations of character. They can be so many things all at once. Remember that song: "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint..." Well, that's the deal IMHO. We're all able to be whatever we want and still retain our cutie-pie status if we choose it.

 

[impressive]

I think this is mainly a male fantasy. Every man wants to believe he has the power to turn any woman into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac. That's all there is to it.

The porn plotline. Whereas the romance plotline is the heroine with the "magic pussy" -- one dip and the hero is cured of his tomcatting ways and wants only her forever and ever amen.

 

[3113]

Whereas the romance plotline is the heroine with the "magic pussy" -- one dip and the hero is cured of his tomcatting ways and wants only her forever and ever amen.

You mean it's not true?

 

[Recidiva]

The porn plotline. Whereas the romance plotline is the heroine with the "magic pussy" -- one dip and the hero is cured of his tomcatting ways and wants only her forever and ever amen.

Look, now I have been able to accept that there's no Easter Bunny...but not that!

 

[impressive]

You mean it's not true?

It's been proven, at least, that *my* pussy is not magic. Your mileage may vary.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It's been proven, at least, that *my* pussy is not magic. Your mileage may vary.

I request a test drive

 

[impressive]

I request a test drive

Bring it! I love testing theories.

 

[Tanuki]

I think this is mainly a male fantasy. Every man wants to believe he has the power to turn any woman into a sex-crazed nymphomaniac.

It's true in your case, doctor.

 

[galaxygoddess]

You mean it's not true?

dammit all! there goes all my plans for every famous guy I ever fantasized about *weep

 

[Guest]

I think that women of all ages are capable of gradations of character. They can be so many things all at once. Remember that song: "I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint..." Well, that's the deal IMHO. We're all able to be whatever we want and still retain our cutie-pie status if we choose it.

Some men, even the reasonable ones, can't accept. Seriously, I have been in an *email* relantionship where the guy said, look, you can't play coy, I have read your stories.



Maharat

 

[Stella_Omega]

dammit all! there goes all my plans for every famous guy I ever fantasized about *weep

Can you imagine how many women think that way!?