PLEASE - I need help from very experienced dominatrix

[madamedarlina]

Hi - my dearest dominatrix

I need help from u out there. Had been in a BD relationship since November, finally tried on a strap on my boyfriend loved it both of us.
I am bit new but becoming pretty good day by day. Our relationship was going great. I relocated x the Summer to London in order to be together which he also had agreed on. He loves being tied, gagged, blinded, anal penetration we do have quite a bit of toys that we have been using since November. Are really inventive ... Well he broke the news about his ex girlfriend of a year and half ago coming back to London from Sweden last month after I had had left for few weeks and showing up at one of his parties. He told her about me and she cried x 3 days, well after 2 weeks in London, using the strap on etc...he tells me about her and being tormented, and how great I am ... don't want to make this story short I went to live at my own place that I had rented in London and have seen him once but not sexually to just clarify few things. His ex girlfriend was coming to town and I was heading on a vacation while the 2 of them were sorting some emotional stuff out. I have been his only dominatrix and he is gone pretty far with me. She wants kids etc...and he does not, he stated that they cannot have a relationship, and that he will always want to have sex with me. I know he is really into me and that to be living our sexual lifestyle you need to trust someone and also it is a huge leap of faith putting your self in the end of a dominatrix and yield to her.
Any suggestions from any of you who had to live trough this kind of experience, we are truly perfect x one another and I did give him his space now what do I do shall I just continue being his dominatrix like he asked I don't mind but I also would like to do something to make him realize that BD lifestyle builds a special bonding between a couple and that kind of bonding is unique and hard to find. Why would you say a man seeks to be dominated and penetrated there is a lot about him that I know but maybe I can find a better key to him.
Sorry x this long post I really hope many of you can help me if there is any of you who are in London and want to talk to me directly I am happy to meet with you. Or anything you can think of ... What to say or what to do next ... I just need some help and support.

 

[Netzach]

Hi - my dearest dominatrix

I need help from u out there. Had been in a BD relationship since November, finally tried on a strap on my boyfriend loved it both of us.
I am bit new but becoming pretty good day by day. Our relationship was going great. I relocated x the Summer to London in order to be together which he also had agreed on. He loves being tied, gagged, blinded, anal penetration we do have quite a bit of toys that we have been using since November. Are really inventive ... Well he broke the news about his ex girlfriend of a year and half ago coming back to London from Sweden last month after I had had left for few weeks and showing up at one of his parties. He told her about me and she cried x 3 days, well after 2 weeks in London, using the strap on etc...he tells me about her and being tormented, and how great I am ... don't want to make this story short I went to live at my own place that I had rented in London and have seen him once but not sexually to just clarify few things. His ex girlfriend was coming to town and I was heading on a vacation while the 2 of them were sorting some emotional stuff out. I have been his only dominatrix and he is gone pretty far with me. She wants kids etc...and he does not, he stated that they cannot have a relationship, and that he will always want to have sex with me. I know he is really into me and that to be living our sexual lifestyle you need to trust someone and also it is a huge leap of faith putting your self in the end of a dominatrix and yield to her.
Any suggestions from any of you who had to live trough this kind of experience, we are truly perfect x one another and I did give him his space now what do I do shall I just continue being his dominatrix like he asked I don't mind but I also would like to do something to make him realize that BD lifestyle builds a special bonding between a couple and that kind of bonding is unique and hard to find. Why would you say a man seeks to be dominated and penetrated there is a lot about him that I know but maybe I can find a better key to him.
Sorry x this long post I really hope many of you can help me if there is any of you who are in London and want to talk to me directly I am happy to meet with you. Or anything you can think of ... What to say or what to do next ... I just need some help and support.

You don't have to be someone's sexual excitement on the side if that's not what you want to be, and it sounds like you don't. You do seem to mind. As a Domme I have a lot of power, but making a man pull his head out of his butt and not make the mistake that is HIS to make is not one of my powers, sadly.


If they're really not that compatible and he really has no future with her, hanging around with her is a mistake or a manipulation.

I have no moral objections to any of it, mind. I'm just saying to expect what you plainly know to expect here - this is someone unwilling to detach from this other relationship no matter HOW good his rel. with you is.

It's very hard to find the special msub that makes your heart pound and your loins tingle, but there IS more than one out there and the numbers are stacked in your favor.

If he wants to have sex with you and have a relationship with her, then he should not mind it if you want to have sex with him and a relationship with someone else, rather than waiting by the phone for him.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If he wants to have sex with you and have a relationship with her, then he should not mind it if you want to have sex with him and a relationship with someone else, rather than waiting by the phone for him.

See, now this is why I'll always have a crush on Netz. Pull me no punches and I'll tell no lies.

 

[Etoile]

I see two options:

1. Treat this like any other relationship. Pretend BDSM isn't part of it, and you are just two human beings in a romantic entanglement. You don't have any say in his relationship with this other woman, what he does is up to him. The fact that you're his domme is irrelevant, the fact that you're his new gf IS.

2. Be the domme, and tell him to drop her. He's all yours now, and you decide with whom he is allowed to associate.

 

[Netzach]

I see two options:


2. Be the domme, and tell him to drop her. He's all yours now, and you decide with whom he is allowed to associate.

Never works. Oh, sure it works in a relationship where the person's really aligned with being your slave, but this doesn't sound that way. Having had this advice, thrown my cards down and seeing them do NOTHING in this same situation, all that did was make me wonder if I had to be the least persuasive and most crap-ass Domme in the world.

I'm not. She's not. No one's power does anything with someone who doesn't believe it extends that far.

 

[Etoile]

Never works. Oh, sure it works in a relationship where the person's really aligned with being your slave, but this doesn't sound that way. Having had this advice, thrown my cards down and seeing them do NOTHING in this same situation, all that did was make me wonder if I had to be the least persuasive and most crap-ass Domme in the world.

I'm not. She's not. No one's power does anything with someone who doesn't believe it extends that far.

Actually, I was kidding. I had been going to say "you should (do #1)" but I didn't want to be all dictatorial. I was afraid of someone snarking at me for the "you should" bit, so I gave choices. I didn't actually believe #2 would work.

 

[Netzach]

Oh. Duh. I'm sarcasm impaired this early.

 

[SweetDomme_29]

DO NOT play this game!!!!

You are the Domme and as such You deserve his undivided love and admiration.

DO Not let him play You!!!!!

Play him!

 

[Fauna]

So what happened?