Bistro Bijou

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Try a chorus or two of this. It won't get stuck in your head and it's the Drano you need for earworm problems.

Me, I'll be over here thinking about kilts.



bj

I've had that song stuck in my head before.

The inside of my head, it is sticky.

As to badgers, I prefer the footie version for no apparent reason.
 
You people didn't warn her that I was evil, didn't you? Who's in charge of warning the new people that I'm evil? You missed one.

I just got this from SafeBet in a PM and I was rather confident that it would go over pretty well in here.

Obligatory warning: It is, truly, very very wrong. Wrong. But I laughed until tears ran out of my eyes.



E-VIL.

bj
 
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I bow to your superior posting!

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard. I may listen to it again in three or four years, when I stop laughing from the first play through!

My partner is trying to figure out how to get that song on our karaoke machine, so in very short order, your will have infected all of Southern California!
 
I bow to your superior posting!

This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard. I may listen to it again in three or four years, when I stop laughing from the first play through!

My partner is trying to figure out how to get that song on our karaoke machine, so in very short order, your will have infected all of Southern California!

Wow fame at last !! I don't know if it's any help but if you can PM me your email address I can send you a wav version of it which can then be put on a CD ... erm I have one or two others of his too!
 
I know that one!

Hey: this is a haiku!

Ninety-nine bottles
of beer on the wall. Ninety
nine bottles of beer.

Yeah, except for the nature part...

ROFFL!!!!!

By now, I can't even blame you. You have the gun, yet I hand over the bullets.
So yes, I was forewarned. So, I can't rightfully complain can I?
But, you know I will. :D
Of your latest handy work, I can only say, evil lives deeeeep in your little black heart.

Welcome to the Bistro. ;)

All right, all right. I have decided to go with the nuclear option and end the discussion of annoying songs.

Everyone to the shelters!!!
 
All right, all right. I have decided to go with the nuclear option and end the discussion of annoying songs.

Everyone to the shelters!!!

Thank you Dr. Strangelove.

Now, I am going to report you to the police and see if you can be inprisoned into 'purpletuity'. As far as I'm concerned that clip constitutes 'kiddies porn' at its worst!

I have young children, sir! I take grave offense at you making such vileness available, so that innocent children might find it and make their poor mothers watch it with them! You are dispicable!
 
Thank you Dr. Strangelove.

Now, I am going to report you to the police and see if you can be inprisoned into 'purpletuity'. As far as I'm concerned that clip constitutes 'kiddies porn' at its worst!

I have young children, sir! I take grave offense at you making such vileness available, so that innocent children might find it and make their poor mothers watch it with them! You are dispicable!

I have young children too, madam. It has only been through vigilance and tough love that I have managed to shield their eyes from these upsetting images. I have made the quality of their lives exponentially better by preventing them from seeing such awful stuff. I only allow pure education to pass their impressionable eyes.

like The Three Stooges
 
I have young children too, madam. It has only been through vigilance and tough love that I have managed to shield their eyes from these upsetting images. I have made the quality of their lives exponentially better by preventing them from seeing such awful stuff. I only allow pure education to pass their impressionable eyes.

like The Three Stooges

Well, Anschul, there is only one acceptable response to a post like this one:

"Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!"​
 
...Barney is our en-e-my,

with a shotgun (BOOM! BOOM!)
Barney's on the floor,
no more purple dinosaur.

Snood
 
...Barney is our en-e-my,

with a shotgun (BOOM! BOOM!)
Barney's on the floor,
no more purple dinosaur.

Snood


Ah. A Barney murderer after my own heart. All I can say is where were you about ten years ago? Did you not hear my scream for purple mercy? I was so alone in the "I love you. You love me- purple cult" It still gives me shivers.
 
You people didn't warn her that I was evil, didn't you? Who's in charge of warning the new people that I'm evil? You missed one.

I just got this from SafeBet in a PM and I was rather confident that it would go over pretty well in here.

Obligatory warning: It is, truly, very very wrong. Wrong. But I laughed until tears ran out of my eyes.

E-VIL.

bj
I forgot...I''ll be more on top of things with the next initiation.
if you are the least bit squeamish, don't click the following link
So, the vajay-jay song huh? Well courtesy of my favorite new acquaintance at Lit, I raise you apropos and wrong x 10 .....because that particular brand of evil just cries for visual aid.

Shank, I hope you don't mind me jacking your artwork. ;)


All right, all right. I have decided to go with the nuclear option and end the discussion of annoying songs.

Everyone to the shelters!!!
Uncle. You win. Just make it stop!

...Barney is our en-e-my,

with a shotgun (BOOM! BOOM!)
Barney's on the floor,
no more purple dinosaur.

Snood

You must be rewarded for this. Keys to the city come to mind. Perhaps a retirement fund. Your next round in the bistro is on me.
 
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[dramacontrolmode]

This will be the beginning and end of the whole thing, but for those who are actually new here, I do feel the need to say one or two very clear things:

I have in fact read, commented and critiqued any number of people's work. I don't do so as often as some. I've talked about my reasons regularly, but honestly, no one needs to defend their choices about how they interact with poems, poets and their own work here. If you really, really feel the need for my individual and personal opinion about a piece, all you have to do is ask me. I've gone there before and will do so again if requested. It's hard for me, because I really do love everything, but I do so.

I have also never left an anonymous comment on a poem. I confess that I don't actually know how.

Yes, I've published, poetry, essays and non-fiction, on actual paper that people had to pay for. But seriously, who the fuck cares? That doesn't automatically mean I'm a good writer, any more than not publishing would prove I'm bad.

Raise your hand if you've gotten actual comments or helpful critique from me about poetry.

Raise your hand if you have received nothing but the highest kindness and compassion from me, either in public or private. Permission is granted to quote any of my PM's, although this specific permission may not actually supersede forum rules.

I am an attention whore. Particularly if one defines whore as someone who loves "it" so much she (or he) gives "it" away for free, without expectation of reimbursement. My goal here is to be welcoming, and to provide a safe space that is all-inclusive for people to just share and be themselves. That's why the Bistro was created. So there can be at least one little thread where the only rule is Be Kind. I neither want nor need admiration; those who know me personally can testify that all it does is make me nervous.

I still feel nothing but compassion for poor NJ, who until about a week and a half ago was my biggest fan for a while. But when it's so obviously personal, I do worry that folks who don't know me as well might end up being reluctant to participate in here, not just in the Bistro but in the PF&D in general, for fear of drama and weirdness.

Lastly, there has been, lately, some absolutely phenomenal writing in here, in the 30 30, the villanelle challenge and elsewhere. I don't want new folks to think their work isn't good and isn't appreciated. Just the other day there was a very true comment in the 30 30 companion thread that both the number of participants and the quality of work in there is absolutely unprecedented. I haven't been here forever, so I don't know, but certainly it's as good as I've ever seen it right now. So keep it up, folks.

And I gleefully now own and take for myself any bad names I am called, as usual.

That is absolutely enough of that.
[/dramacontrolmode]

*

Anyone hungry? I'm going simple today, with a good loaf of sourdough bread, strawberries, grapes and kiwis, and some cheese, maybe fontina, and camembert, and some dill havarti.

And I had some 'saffron rose lemonade' at a restaurant a few weeks ago that was so good it made me speak in tongues. Any of our lovely cooks have a recipe for something like that?

My blessings and peace to every one of you

bj
 
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Okay, so I am totally clueless why all the justification was necessary, bijou. I must be missing something, but I'll just grin and nod.
 
[dramacontrolmode]

This will be the beginning and end of the whole thing, but for those who are actually new here, I do feel the need to say one or two very clear things:

I have in fact read, commented and critiqued any number of people's work. I don't do so as often as some. I've talked about my reasons regularly, but honestly, no one needs to defend their choices about how they interact with poems, poets and their own work here. If you really, really feel the need for my individual and personal opinion about a piece, all you have to do is ask me. I've gone there before and will do so again if requested. It's hard for me, because I really do love everything, but I do so.

I have also never left an anonymous comment on a poem. I confess that I don't actually know how.

Yes, I've published, poetry, essays and non-fiction, on actual paper that people had to pay for. But seriously, who the fuck cares? That doesn't automatically mean I'm a good writer, any more than not publishing would prove I'm bad.

Raise your hand if you've gotten actual comments or helpful critique from me about poetry.

Raise your hand if you have ever gotten anything but the highest kindness and compassion from me, either in public or private. Permission is granted to quote any of my PM's, although this specific permission may not actually supersede forum rules.

I am an attention whore. Particularly if one defines whore as someone who loves "it" so much she (or he) gives "it" away for free, without expectation of reimbursement. My goal here is to be welcoming, and to provide a safe space that is all-inclusive for people to just share and be themselves. That's why the Bistro was created. So there can be at least one little thread where the only rule is Be Kind. I neither want nor need admiration; those who know me personally can testify that all it does is make me nervous.

I still feel nothing but compassion for poor NJ, who until about a week and a half ago was my biggest fan for a while. But when it's so obviously personal, I do worry that folks who don't know me as well might end up being reluctant to participate in here, not just in the Bistro but in the PF&D in general, for fear of drama and weirdness.

Lastly, there has been, lately, some absolutely phenomenal writing in here, in the 30 30, the villanelle challenge and elsewhere. I don't want new folks to think their work isn't good and isn't appreciated. Just the other day there was a very true comment in the 30 30 companion thread that both the number of participants and the quality of work in there is absolutely unprecedented. I haven't been here forever, so I don't know, but certainly it's as good as I've ever seen it right now. So keep it up, folks.

And I gleefully now own and take for myself any bad names I am called, as usual.

That is absolutely enough of that.
[/dramacontrolmode]

*

Anyone hungry? I'm going simple today, with a good loaf of sourdough bread, strawberries, grapes and kiwis, and some cheese, maybe fontina, and camembert, and some dill havarti.

And I had some 'saffron rose lemonade' at a restaurant a few weeks ago that was so good it made me speak in tongues. Any of our lovely cooks have a recipe for something like that?

My blessings and peace to every one of you

bj

Raises my hand.

I love all peoples. My friends know this. And if they don't there's not much I can do after I say how I feel.

I'll tell you a quick story. I met some guy on another poetry site who claimed to love my poems and praised me to the hilt (it actually got a bit disturbing after a while). He especially liked the critique he saw me giving some other writers there and asked me, as a favor, would I review poems for a few poets he liked there. So ok, I reviewed a few poems. Then he started his own forum and started acting like I was his personal review committee. Needless to say I a) stopped reviewing anything for him and his friends and b) stopped going to his forum. I don't like being manipulated and I also don't like being told when I do and don't need to review something. And I will never ever push people to critique poems if they aren't comfortable doing so. To me, that is totally antithetical to what this forum is about. So review or don't review, Angeline will still love you. Or she won't. And if she doesn't, you'll know it in a very upfront way.

Now then. Would anyone like a biscuit? They're all warm and fluffyish. And I got butter, honey and blueberry preserves. :)
 
[...] I'm going simple today, with a good loaf of sourdough bread, strawberries, grapes and kiwis, and some cheese, maybe fontina, and camembert, and some dill havarti.

And I had some 'saffron rose lemonade' at a restaurant a few weeks ago that was so good it made me speak in tongues. [...]

I am too new to comment about most of what was mentioned , but I am qualified to comment on this:

I don't give a flying crap what you may think Lady, but that ain't simple! PB&J is simple; Campbell's Tomato Soup and crackers is simple; tuna fish on white bread is simple - I've got two kids - I KNOW simple! So stop making me hungry, damn it!


P.S. What in the HELL is Saffron Rose Lemonade, anyway?
 
[dramacontrolmode]Raise your hand if you've gotten actual comments or helpful critique from me about poetry.

Raise your hand if you have ever gotten anything but the highest kindness and compassion from me, either in public or private.

Anyone hungry? I'm going simple today, with a good loaf of sourdough bread, strawberries, grapes and kiwis, and some cheese, maybe fontina, and camembert, and some dill havarti.

Both my hands are raised; I'm typing this with my nose.

I fear that I ate all the dill havarti; sorry, but I'd do it again.

Lastly, doesn't kiwifruit sound more appealing than Chinese gooseberries?

Snood
 
I am too new to comment about most of what was mentioned , but I am qualified to comment on this:

I don't give a flying crap what you may think Lady, but that ain't simple! PB&J is simple; Campbell's Tomato Soup and crackers is simple; tuna fish on white bread is simple - I've got two kids - I KNOW simple! So stop making me hungry, damn it!


P.S. What in the HELL is Saffron Rose Lemonade, anyway?

Heh heh. Unfortunately, with fabulous cooks like Ange and Anschul around, you're going to be getting tortured pretty regularly with the food thing in here.

But I'll argue, just for grins: everything you named involves cooking. Soup must be heated, pbj's take prep time and require getting at least two knives and a plate dirty, tuna fish has to be mixed with stuff and so on. All of my ingredients take only the time that it requires to remove them from bags and throw them onto a plate. That's one reason I go there; zero actual cooking.

Saffron rose lemonade was on the menu at a little middle eastern cafe I went to a while back. It was easily the most lovely, lightest, most refreshing thing I'd had in my mouth for a long while. I'm assuming it involves saffron and rose water added to lemonade. It was a sort of light rosy pink, and absolutely addictive. And the waitress didn't know, or didn't want to tell me, exactly how to make it. So I need to do more research.

bj
 
Both my hands are raised; I'm typing this with my nose.

I fear that I ate all the dill havarti; sorry, but I'd do it again.

Lastly, doesn't kiwifruit sound more appealing than Chinese gooseberries?

Snood

what a big nose you got Mr Wolf
 
For anyone lost and confused: there was Drama. Elsewhere. It's already over now. and it was contaminating a perfectly good thread, so i brought it in here. But it's done, so we're back to regularly scheduled programming.

Think it would make Homburg more or less sticky if we tried to lick him clean?

bj
 
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