Humiliation Help: How to make a man blush

[LilyLovesHead]

Hi everyone, I'm not really new here; a longtime lurker, first time poster.

Context

I'm motivated to post because instead of getting a sense for BSDM, I'd like some explicit advice and feedback.

I've gotten the sense for awhile that my bf has sub preferences. He thinks it's amazingly hot when I boss him around, which I am only too happy to do! We've played with the power situation in our relationship a bit in the past, but this weekend we're doing something a little more extreme.

He's going to have to be absolutely obedient to me in private, and has given me the additional challenge of making him blush, if I can.

I've concocted a plan, and I'd like some feedback/additional ideas.

My Brilliant plan

I'm going to tell him that it's time to play a game, and make him take off all his clothes. I'll remain dressed, but probably in sexy everyday clothes, rather than long pants and a sweater. Once he's naked, I'll bring out three pairs of sexy women's underwear and make him pick his "favourite" that he wants to wear. It'll be clear they aren't for me.

Once he has them on, I'm going to convince him that he likes it, or at least give him a hard-on (he's going to be extremely horny, so I'm not too worried about it not working). Then he has to tell me any number of things.

"I love being your slave Lily", "I'm aroused by wearing women's underwear", etc.

I'll make him say them, and make sure he says them clearly. He hasn't shown an interest in mild cross dressing before, and I don't really think he'll like being emasculated (aside from the fact that I'm making him do it, and making him say he likes it).

Think it will work? Anything you would change?

 

[LaLaLilly]

Welcome Lily

You may be surprised how much he likes your ideas even if he is the masculine type. When one is comfortable and there is trust, it leaves the door wide open to explore any fantasy, regardless of what it is.

Just to offer a couple of suggestions...Instead of giving him the choice of which panties to wear, perhaps pick out or go buy the panties that you wish to see him in.

Besides him telling you how much he likes wearing panties and that he is your slave...maybe add in...him looking in a full length mirror with you...telling you what a sissy he looks like in his feminine little panties and how wonderfully naughty he feels in them. He may fight you saying that it is really not a turn on for him but you can always prove him wrong by rubbing against his cock, with your ass or leg, through his panties to make him hard...staining the delicate fabric with his pre-cum...or...an inside the panty hand job until he cums for you. Once he does, you can tease him about how much he really does enjoy wearing girls panties.

There is nothing like seeing your man blush!!!

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

You could have him pick out which pair of sexy panties he wants to see on you and make him describe in detail why.

Then make him put them on for more of a surprise/blush factor.

 

[unfoundiamond]

I say stick with your plan,

The post above me is dead on. Hard act to follow... we'll see...

But a few changes, id get him blind folded and snap a poloriod and watch him blush, because if being in the panties isn't enough,

when's the last time you didn't get flustered by a suprise picture take of you in some panties...

And id say blindfold to prevent anger... keeps it all light... maybe start playing with him, blindfold him and snap a picture... maybe leave the camera in plain view so he knows its there and offer the picture for the admission of feeling bashful....

I dunno

I am twisted, so maybe this isn't a good question for me...

I do wanna blow a HOT ass guy in panties, don't ask me why...

Hot guys in panties is hot, and I don't even like gay porn a lot, but a straight man in some womens boy shorts... **ugh** im in need of sexy men.

This sux.

 

[LilyLovesHead]

Besides him telling you how much he likes wearing panties and that he is your slave...maybe add in...him looking in a full length mirror with you...telling you what a sissy he looks like in his feminine little panties and how wonderfully naughty he feels in them.

That's fantastic. Thanks! I also like the idea of making him cum in them, but he's under very clear instructions that he can't for the duration of the weekend.

You could have him pick out which pair of sexy panties he wants to see on you and make him describe in detail why.

I like this idea too! My thoughts were that my teasing would be more powerful later if I could remind him of the fact that he picked them, therefore he must like them. But having him describe why they make me look hot could have the same effect.

 

[LilyLovesHead]

But a few changes, id get him blind folded and snap a poloriod and watch him blush, because if being in the panties isn't enough,

when's the last time you didn't get flustered by a suprise picture take of you in some panties...

LOVE IT.

Hot guys in panties is hot, and I don't even like gay porn a lot, but a straight man in some womens boy shorts....

Boyshorts? I hadn't even thought of that... I was thinking the most pink, satin, lace that I could find. La Senza (Canadian Victoria Secret) did a line last season with ruffles on the bum. I wonder if I could find those. He has such a nice bum.

 

[LaLaLilly]

Hot guys in panties. Very Hot. Not sure exactly what it is that is such a turn on.

Maybe then give him a proper little spanking once he admits liking to wear them

I once knew someone who had a pair of boyshorts specially made for her b/f with an opening in the back for strap-on sex...lol

 

[Maxell46]

From a males point of view I think your on the right track as far as getting your BF to blush.I like the idea of having him pick out the pair he likes most thinking they will be worn by the woman...then having him put them on.
His erection...or lack of one... will be the telltale sign of how his brain is doing.
The "peter meter" is a reliable barometer
Tying his hands and then sliding your panties up his legs and over his erection should produce a moan or two.

You should be encouraging and not trying to ridicule him by calling him a sissy etc.I think that would be a total turn off if this situation was from my partner.
But he's your BF and you know better on where the lines are drawn.

Also consider the size of your panties and his body size.A petite womans panties wil not fit a lumberjack type body.
Just a thought...

I'm looking forward to hearing how this transpires!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If you have a whole weekend of fun planned then there are plenty of ways you can push the emasculating/feminising play. If he looks cute in frilly knickers then have him apply some eyeliner, mascara and lipgloss. Laugh while he makes a mess of it and make him keep trying until he looks half presentable.

If he enjoys a little pain or spanking, you can then have fun spanking/teasing him until his makeup is all smeary and teary. Tell him how sexy he looks with his hard on sticking out through the panties and mascara running down his face.

As LaLaLilly mentioned, strap on play is a good way to play on the genderbending, even if you just get him to suck it for you. Prostate play could be a lot of fun though, especially if he finds anal play enough of a turn on to want to progress to strap-on sex.

Have fun.

 

[JMohegan]

He thinks it's amazingly hot when I boss him around, which I am only too happy to do! We've played with the power situation in our relationship a bit in the past, but this weekend we're doing something a little more extreme.

He's going to have to be absolutely obedient to me in private, and has given me the additional challenge of making him blush, if I can.
.....

He hasn't shown an interest in mild cross dressing before, and I don't really think he'll like being emasculated (aside from the fact that I'm making him do it, and making him say he likes it).

I've got a question for Netzach or SweetErika or anyone else with experience on the Top side of F/m pairings.

How often does the desire to be "bossed around" coincide with an appreciation for humiliation/degradation in males? Is this a fairly universal thing?

From my experience with M/f pairings, I'd say the two quite often do *not* coincide in females. So, for example, there are many women who will blush in mild embarrassment & intense arousal when told to stand in the middle of the room & strip while the guy watches intently. But if he then started telling her what a disgusting & pathetic whore she is for stripping on command, her arousal would vanish and she'd become hurt or angry or some combination of both.

 

[intothewoods]

I've got a question for Netzach or SweetErika or anyone else with experience on the Top side of F/m pairings.

How often does the desire to be "bossed around" coincide with an appreciation for humiliation/degradation in males? Is this a fairly universal thing?

From my experience with M/f pairings, I'd say the two quite often do *not* coincide in females. So, for example, there are many women who will blush in mild embarrassment & intense arousal when told to stand in the middle of the room & strip while the guy watches intently. But if he then started telling her what a disgusting & pathetic whore she is for stripping on command, her arousal would vanish and she'd become hurt or angry or some combination of both.

I don't know, I know a lot of women who love to go there, myself included. Not disgusting and pathetic per se, but a heap of humiliation and degredation is just fine. I also know a lot of male subs who don't like it at all. Then again, I guess we established some time ago that my local kink group isn't normal.

 

[JMohegan]

I don't know, I know a lot of women who love to go there, myself included. Not disgusting and pathetic per se, but a heap of humiliation and degredation is just fine. I also know a lot of male subs who don't like it at all. Then again, I guess we established some time ago that my local kink group isn't normal.

A lot of women on this board "love to go there." Somewhere, I think, there's a poll!

But the fact that you know male subs who *don't* is really the point of my question. A simple heads up to the OP.

 

[Netzach]

I've got a question for Netzach or SweetErika or anyone else with experience on the Top side of F/m pairings.

How often does the desire to be "bossed around" coincide with an appreciation for humiliation/degradation in males? Is this a fairly universal thing?

From my experience with M/f pairings, I'd say the two quite often do *not* coincide in females. So, for example, there are many women who will blush in mild embarrassment & intense arousal when told to stand in the middle of the room & strip while the guy watches intently. But if he then started telling her what a disgusting & pathetic whore she is for stripping on command, her arousal would vanish and she'd become hurt or angry or some combination of both.

It's more common in men, certainly, but it doesn't always line up. Some women LOVE the latter and find the former dull as hell. Some men can't stomach the latter and like mild sexually suggestive "you're so naughty" shennanigans.

From my experience with M/f pairings, I'd say the two quite often do *not* coincide in females. So, for example, there are many women who will blush in mild embarrassment & intense arousal when told to stand in the middle of the room & strip while the guy watches intently. But if he then started telling her what a disgusting & pathetic whore she is for stripping on command, her arousal would vanish and she'd become hurt or angry or some combination of both.

This is literally how I illustrate the difference between erotic embarrassment versus humiliation in my workshop on it - on the nose. Male female or trans you REALLY have to understand which way your partner is kinked there and proceed with that knowledge. You may want to push him, but you may set off an emotional landmine doing it. (sometimes you want to) - but you want to see it going off and know what YOU plan on doing about it. If you drive him into quicksand tied up in the car, you at least want to cut the ropes and help him swim out.

Also, crossdressing often goes with humiliation, but, happily for me, not always. As a personal sexual partner I FAR prefer a man who likes panties because they're silky and they feel good and not because he wants to get more female in ORDER to get more humiliated (huh?) If he likes to dress he just likes to dress, he likes the look, he desires to be a sexy female not a female caricature, which doesn't really make my panties damp. If I want him to dress embarrassingly, I'll get him a T shirt made saying "sexual reject" Surprisingly, all of H's drag outfits are well made, pricey, fetishy sexpot ones, I never want him looking like a lame CD ho version of womanhood. He likes cock, he likes being degraded, he likes his female persona and wear - female persona and wear are not the *reason* for the degredation.

 

[Netzach]

But more than any of that, and being lost here is the advice I give to all newb Dominant/top women.

What do YOU want to do?

If you broke up with this guy tomorrow what would YOU want to do, topping someone new to you?

 

[midwestyankee]

Not everyone blushes for the same reasons. Maybe your guy will respond to being reminded how much he wants you and how much he likes being under your control. Maybe your guy will blush when you tell him how hot he looks or because he's making you sopping wet. Sometimes the good news will make someone feel a far greater sense of embarassment than any humiliation will do.

It's as much about knowing your own sub/bottom as it is about knowing generalities that often work with others.

And Netz is absolutely right - if your scene isn't driven primarily by what YOU want, then who's in charge, really?

 

[270buck]

I like
.

 

[subbie_333]

Hi everyone, I'm not really new here; a longtime lurker, first time poster.

Context

I'm motivated to post because instead of getting a sense for BSDM, I'd like some explicit advice and feedback.

I've gotten the sense for awhile that my bf has sub preferences. He thinks it's amazingly hot when I boss him around, which I am only too happy to do! We've played with the power situation in our relationship a bit in the past, but this weekend we're doing something a little more extreme.

He's going to have to be absolutely obedient to me in private, and has given me the additional challenge of making him blush, if I can.

I've concocted a plan, and I'd like some feedback/additional ideas.

My Brilliant plan

I'm going to tell him that it's time to play a game, and make him take off all his clothes. I'll remain dressed, but probably in sexy everyday clothes, rather than long pants and a sweater. Once he's naked, I'll bring out three pairs of sexy women's underwear and make him pick his "favourite" that he wants to wear. It'll be clear they aren't for me.

Once he has them on, I'm going to convince him that he likes it, or at least give him a hard-on (he's going to be extremely horny, so I'm not too worried about it not working). Then he has to tell me any number of things.

"I love being your slave Lily", "I'm aroused by wearing women's underwear", etc.

I'll make him say them, and make sure he says them clearly. He hasn't shown an interest in mild cross dressing before, and I don't really think he'll like being emasculated (aside from the fact that I'm making him do it, and making him say he likes it).

Think it will work? Anything you would change?

Many people view humiliation and embarrassment as different things. And, as stated above, "good" humiliation to one is "bad" humiliation to another. i like both, but, i only blush from embarrassment.

 

[waterkemist]

Idea 1
Take him shopping, pick out a pair of panties in his size without him knowing. Then walk him to the men's fitting room and make him try them on. The attendants are usually female and count how many items one carries into the fitting room. Even if no attendants are around, remain close to the door and ask him how they fit and feel.

Idea 2
After making love, tell him to lick out your freshly filled pussy. As he licks his own cum, describe how you will tell your girlfriends about this experience.

Idea 3
Give him a small plain water enema and remain with him as he expells. His reward is having sex with you. Finish as you did in idea 2, above.

Have fun.[/B]

 

[LilyLovesHead]

Wow, thanks so much for all the feedback! Like I've said, we're relatively new to this, so I think I might have made some mistakes in terminology. I am pretty sure that I'm aiming more for embarrassment than humiliation. I want him to blush, not cry. I don't think he's turned on by me degrading him (but I haven't done it, so I guess I don't know, and finding out isn't on this weekend's agenda).

Also consider the size of your panties and his body size.A petite womans panties wil not fit a lumberjack type body.
Just a thought...

I have considered that - I bought some today big enough for him - mine would be uncomfortably small, and probably would not fit a package.

As LaLaLilly mentioned, strap on play is a good way to play on the genderbending, even if you just get him to suck it for you. Prostate play could be a lot of fun though, especially if he finds anal play enough of a turn on to want to progress to strap-on sex.

I like the extension of the theme, but we've not gotten into anal play or strap ons yet.

This isn't so much crossdressing play as a way for me to yank him far enough out of his comfort zone to blush, but not so far that he's scared. I don't think he's going to be aroused by the panties. If he is, it'll be a pleasant surprise that we'll play with in the future.

I do think he's going to be reluctant to put them on, and aroused by the fact that I make him do it. The teasing is going to be more in terms of making fun of how aroused he is (if the commands don't do it, a hand job will).

But more than any of that, and being lost here is the advice I give to all newb Dominant/top women.

What do YOU want to do?

As for what *I* like, domination is something I'm exploring because I love him. Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have gotten into it, but the reminder of the power I have over his arousal is kind of a turn on. I think I might get into it with a little more practice . I think part of the reason he likes it so much, is because on the surface I'm too "nice" to force him to write "Love Slave" on his cock and send me a picture. It gives him a secret part of me that no one else knows about.

you can make him wear them while out to eat also

Exactly . Conveniently, he's made plans for us to go to dinner and see a movie. He doesn't know that I've bought him panties or that he'll be wearing a pair of them out that night. I'm looking for the opportunities to whisper reminders in his ear during the show.

 

[subbie_333]

You may find that it easier to embarrass him in public as opposed to private, and, that can be done without actively involving others. For example, the panties he would be wearing would have some dark hearts or butterflies on them, that would show through his light colored pants. You can also get creative with other items of lingerie. And, you can have him wear very faint makeup and perfume that others may or may not notice.

Others have suggested things that involve people in public, which can be very unpredictable. Many female workers at retail stores are familiar with guys trying on and buying female clothing, but, you may have to pick the right store, employee, and, time of day to get the attention you are looking for. In the same vein, try thrift shops if you want to buy some female clothing for him to wear at home.

If you have a salon that you go to and like and have a good relationship with the owner or employees, you can do several things there. You can take him in for a manicure and pedicure. And, a more advanced activity would be to get his, um, "groin area" waxed. This works well if you and/or the employee are a bit sadistic.

And, a last suggestion that is related to a personal experience. Go to a big mall store that does the free makeup/makeover thingie. You need to have a believable story and that helps get the employee(s) involved. The easy explanation is that you are going to a costume party (so, you would have to do this on a Friday or Saturday most likely) and he is going as a woman. You can say that he lost a bet (you will have to have an answer ready of what you would have done if you lost). Bring your camera with you to take pics during the makeover. i can tell you that he will get some stares and some women who will walk right up and watch with a big smile on their faces. You can carry it further and get him "fitted" for a bra. And, if/when y'all progress to the strap-on thingie, all this is taking the gender reversal to another level.

 

[subbie_333]

Here are a few ideas that can be done in one day in public :

- have him wear a "diaper", maybe even one he has urinated in

- after him eating you out, go out in public without letting him wash his face

- if his hair is long enough to cover his ears, have him wear clip-on earrings

- get one of those remote control vibrating eggs, insert it in his ass, and, turn it on and off at unusual times

- go to a store separately and have him ask a young female employee for help in the "feminine products" aisle while you silently watch close by


Here are a few ideas that last more than one day that can be embarrassing and/or humiliating:

- have him use a tanning bed while wearing a bra and panties

- have him shave his legs

- put nail polish on his toenails

- if he is hairy enough, shave something like "SLUT" in his chest or back

- have him use a tampon when you have to use them, and, change it with the same frequency

 

[LilyLovesHead]

Here are a few ideas that can be done in one day in public :

- have him wear a "diaper", maybe even one he has urinated in
- after him eating you out, go out in public without letting him wash his face
- if his hair is long enough to cover his ears, have him wear clip-on earrings
- get one of those remote control vibrating eggs, insert it in his ass, and, turn it on and off at unusual times
- go to a store separately and have him ask a young female employee for help in the "feminine products" aisle while you silently watch close by

You're a great well of ideas!

Unfortunately, my "I'm the boss" rule is only in play while we're in private. I'm not sure how much I could get away with publicly unless it's immediately gratifying to him, like making sure he gets a hard-on during the movie wearing panties. If all goes well, we might try taking it out of the bedroom.

 

[Netzach]

As for what *I* like, domination is something I'm exploring because I love him. Left to my own devices, I probably wouldn't have gotten into it, but the reminder of the power I have over his arousal is kind of a turn on. I think I might get into it with a little more practice . I think part of the reason he likes it so much, is because on the surface I'm too "nice" to force him to write "Love Slave" on his cock and send me a picture. It gives him a secret part of me that no one else knows about.

That's cool. It's nice that you're open to exploring and you're finding yourself having fun with it. I'd still urge you to maybe keep that in sight, maybe I had you framing it a little too harshly - but if you really stay close to *what you personally find sexy* then you are sure to be turned on and have genuine fun of your own and as you know, that's kind of irresistible erotic candy - a woman who's turning herself on with her wicked ideas.

Whatever it is that you dig - him being *willing* to trust you to surprise him maybe, or him outside his comfort zone looking all confused and about 60 IQ points lower while he's totally hard for it all - him in pink panties, him in his best suit having to pull your shoes off and rub your feet on a downtown park bench - whatever floats your boat the most, keeping it close will help you formulate the ideas and paint the mental picture you want.

 

[Netzach]

You're a great well of ideas!

Unfortunately, my "I'm the boss" rule is only in play while we're in private. I'm not sure how much I could get away with publicly unless it's immediately gratifying to him, like making sure he gets a hard-on during the movie wearing panties. If all goes well, we might try taking it out of the bedroom.

I love a lot of the things people are suggesting and they're in my personal repertoire, but IME, some are kind of 201 level things, not 101, and they may not be sexy to you. Some are sexy to me and others aren't. Some are more practical than others, some less.

Some of them are bound to turn you on and others are bound to be profoundly unsexy - that's the nature of taking requests from the audience.

Life is short - no matter how much someone may make you feel like "all real Dominant women do this" or whatever, it's about what you want. If I sound like a broken record it's because it is a struggle at times even 10 years into playing to keep this basic in front of me. When I don't - things are yucky non-fun. When I do, everyone around me is happy too.

You sound smart, playful and creative, and you can totally do this! Your brain's pointing you in the right direction and you sound like you respect and know your partner well.

 

[PepeLeMoko]

Lily

I have to agree with those on here who endorse your plan. I know (from experinece) that it would be a truly humiliating but very thrilling experience for your man.

I agree with those who suggest you take it slow, though, and don't start in with too much abuse or there could be a negative reaction. Keep the talk sexy and suggestive rather than abusive, but point out that he will be the one in panties from now on, literally or metaphorically.

A good next step, if it goes well, is to make him take the initiative from then on. Tell him that there will be no more play until he has gone out and bought a new pair of panties for himself. Make him present himself to you with them on and justify why he bought that particular pair to please you.

And then, of course, you should insist he wears a pair of panties to work some time. This is frighteneing and thrilling. It means at no matter what he does, you, and sex, and the new power relationship will be forever on his mind. By te time he gets home, he will be aching for your permission to take them off.

Good luck and let us know how itt goes.