Wanted:

[pleaz_me]

Male, approximately in his 70's, good-looking, and in bad health. Must have a minimum of 30 G's in the checking account at all times to suffice any shopping whim I may have. Also needs to have a hefty insurance policy (2 million minimum please). Must be willing to marry immediately without a pre-numpt and upon decease, all accounts and assets left to me.

In exchange for his generosity, I will be sure the maids keep the house spotless and the cook has his favorite foods on the table every evening (fried foods need to be at the top of the list). I will keep the butler in line and be sure his favorite drink is waiting next to the bed every evening. I will also provide lap dances (in the dark only), and a monthly blow job (again, in the dark). I will see to it that his viagara prescription is re-filled each year. Twelve pills is the maximum allowed. I will be faithful and play the part of the loving wife, always keeping myself beautiful when attending the country club and charity events.

Any takers, please respond here. Do not PM me as I'll think you're hiding something from me.

 

[RazingTrouble]

lol
Ok, I needed a good laugh today! Thanks!

 

[pleaz_me]

lol
Ok, I needed a good laugh today! Thanks!

Glad I could be your entertainment for the day.

 

[HarddHornyDad]

and here I was hoping this would be a serious post....I fit most of the criteria...well except being in bad health...and willing to accept that lil' sexual adventure

 

[Shagly]

Male, approximately in his 70's, good-looking, and in bad health. Must have a minimum of 30 G's in the checking account at all times to suffice any shopping whim I may have. Also needs to have a hefty insurance policy (2 million minimum please). Must be willing to marry immediately without a pre-numpt and upon decease, all accounts and assets left to me.

In exchange for his generosity, I will be sure the maids keep the house spotless and the cook has his favorite foods on the table every evening (fried foods need to be at the top of the list). I will keep the butler in line and be sure his favorite drink is waiting next to the bed every evening. I will also provide lap dances (in the dark only), and a monthly blow job (again, in the dark). I will see to it that his viagara prescription is re-filled each year. Twelve pills is the maximum allowed. I will be faithful and play the part of the loving wife, always keeping myself beautiful when attending the country club and charity events.

Any takers, please respond here. Do not PM me as I'll think you're hiding something from me.

I guess that rules me out....LOL.

 

[pleaz_me]

and here I was hoping this would be a serious post....I fit most of the criteria...well except being in bad health...and willing to accept that lil' sexual adventure

You might read the ad a bit closer.

 

[pleaz_me]

I guess that rules me out....LOL.

Awww hell. You mean you're not over 70??????

 

[magichnds]

And here I thought Anna Nicole was dead.

 

[jhe1950]

A little compatability issue...

Male, approximately in his 70's, good-looking, and in bad health. Must have a minimum of 30 G's in the checking account at all times to suffice any shopping whim I may have. Also needs to have a hefty insurance policy (2 million minimum please). Must be willing to marry immediately without a pre-numpt and upon decease, all accounts and assets left to me.

In exchange for his generosity, I will be sure the maids keep the house spotless and the cook has his favorite foods on the table every evening (fried foods need to be at the top of the list). I will keep the butler in line and be sure his favorite drink is waiting next to the bed every evening. I will also provide lap dances (in the dark only), and a monthly blow job (again, in the dark). I will see to it that his viagara prescription is re-filled each year. Twelve pills is the maximum allowed. I will be faithful and play the part of the loving wife, always keeping myself beautiful when attending the country club and charity events.

Any takers, please respond here. Do not PM me as I'll think you're hiding something from me.
__________________
I miss by 12 years, my looks are banned in 37 states, one more and I'm the next constitutional ammmendment. I'm in good health. Checking account is about $29,750 short of expectations, but hey that's enough for a Wall Mart home necessity spree. My insurance policy already has my kids as beneficiaries, but I'm sure once they know your intent they'll put a restraining order on you. I can marry immediately without a pre-nup and would be happy to refer my scored of creditors to you.

Unless you have a French maids uniform and chefs hat not much is required, I do like KFC though. I had a friend named Butler once and live close to Butler University, though unless you intend to become the chancellor, I can't see how you could keep the college in line. I get my viagra in the mail from the VA, and I'm affraid it'd be more than 12 pills per year. Hell, if you don't want to be faithful or play the part of the loving wife just let me participate with you. I've seen your pics and yes you are beautiful, but unless you want to caddy with me on weekends or crash Bar Mitzphas (sp) you're not going to have to worry about dolling up too much.

Hey it looks like we might have one hit here, and you can pm me if you want.

 

[pleaz_me]

I miss by 12 years, my looks are banned in 37 states, one more and I'm the next constitutional ammmendment. I'm in good health. Checking account is about $29,750 short of expectations, but hey that's enough for a Wall Mart home necessity spree. My insurance policy already has my kids as beneficiaries, but I'm sure once they know your intent they'll put a restraining order on you. I can marry immediately without a pre-nup and would be happy to refer my scored of creditors to you.

Unless you have a French maids uniform and chefs hat not much is required, I do like KFC though. I had a friend named Butler once and live close to Butler University, though unless you intend to become the chancellor, I can't see how you could keep the college in line. I get my viagra in the mail from the VA, and I'm affraid it'd be more than 12 pills per year. Hell, if you don't want to be faithful or play the part of the loving wife just let me participate with you. I've seen your pics and yes you are beautiful, but unless you want to caddy with me on weekends or crash Bar Mitzphas (sp) you're not going to have to worry about dolling up too much.

Hey it looks like we might have one hit here, and you can pm me if you want.

You're still close enough to kick the bucket age, and you have approximately $350 more in the bank than I do at present. The restraining order works, as long as you supply your own cuffs or agree to use my leather ones. The kids must know how to obey and clean house though.

I own a French Maid's uniform, but it's only for use in the bedroom. In return, I expect you to own a police officer's outfit (all accessories included). Butler University is good as there are plenty of young hotties to sneak off with and as long as the current chancellor is male, I can seduce him and use his monies to supply any shopping whims. You're welcome to join in any unfaithfulness and in events that you're not welcome, be sure to hide in the background with the camera for blackmail evidence.

I don't caddy and I'm not Jewish.

 

[jhe1950]

The final arrangements...

Woo hoo! Sounds perfect!
__________________


Shall I drive to Iowa, or wait here with a justice of the peace at city hall in Indianapolis, can have the paperwork ready by the time you arrive, and there's a really sleazy hotel accross the street in full view of the county lockup where we could take an affordable 2 hour honey moon.

 

[pleaz_me]

Woo hoo! Sounds perfect!
__________________


Shall I drive to Iowa, or wait here with a justice of the peace at city hall in Indianapolis, can have the paperwork ready by the time you arrive, and there's a really sleazy hotel accross the street in full view of the county lockup where we could take an affordable 2 hour honey moon.

You can drive to Iowa, but I'm not sure what for. There's plenty of corn fields in Illinois. Indianapolis is a fun and exciting town. I may have already creamed my panties before we get to the hotel. For the honeymoon I'd prefer just going to the county lockup instead of across the street.

 

[jhe1950]

You can drive to Iowa, but I'm not sure what for. There's plenty of corn fields in Illinois. Indianapolis is a fun and exciting town. I may have already creamed my panties before we get to the hotel. For the honeymoon I'd prefer just going to the county lockup instead of across the street.
__________________

Well, that's a thought, how about you go to the lockup and I'll visit the women's prison down the street, of course we'll need two cameras so we can compare notes

 

[pleaz_me]

Well, that's a thought, how about you go to the lockup and I'll visit the women's prison down the street, of course we'll need two cameras so we can compare notes

We can go to the lockup first, then go together to the women's prison?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

hey, baby!

come get.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04/BladesFree_450x300.jpg

 

[pleaz_me]

hey, baby!

come get.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/04/BladesFree_450x300.jpg

Too healthy and active if he's hockey'ing.

 

[jhe1950]

Damn woman didn't realize I got you that excited

that you edited my romantic response, so I'll reconstruct it for you

You're still close enough to kick the bucket age, and you have approximately $350 more in the bank than I do at present. The restraining order works, as long as you supply your own cuffs or agree to use my leather ones. The kids must know how to obey and clean house though.

I own a French Maid's uniform, but it's only for use in the bedroom. In return, I expect you to own a police officer's outfit (all accessories included). Butler University is good as there are plenty of young hotties to sneak off with and as long as the current chancellor is male, I can seduce him and use his monies to supply any shopping whims. You're welcome to join in any unfaithfulness and in events that you're not welcome, be sure to hide in the background with the camera for blackmail evidence.

I don't caddy and I'm not Jewish

My father turns 98 next month, his older sister died two years ago, a younger sister at 94 last year the baby girl just turned 91, his other sister suffered an early death at age 88, so don't hold your breath for bucket kicking, (rent the movie if it's that important to you, good cast)
I guess I'll sport for the 2 hours and $30 at the motel. We'll use your leather cuffs as I rather like that idea. The kids are out on their own, but I'd be happy to rent a cops uniform to serve the restraining order.
Bedroom my ass, you'll wear the damn uniform in every room the patio, and hopefully a couple of rest stops somewhere, just don't clean in it unless it's cleaning up our passionate mess. I'd want you to take the damn chancelor for everthing he's worth to keep me in the style I'd like.

I'd happily join in unfaithfulness, and gladly accept the role of closeted cinematographer when not wanted,

I'm not Jewish, but have served as a token Gentile at several of the celebrations. And if I never see a golf course again it'll be several years too soon

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Too healthy and active if he's hockey'ing.

no, that 'stick' is the connection to the electricity supply. he has to be 'jolted' alive every twelve seconds...

 

[jhe1950]

How about we ....

...bribe a couple of judges, and mix the inmates at one site, kinda the best of both worlds.

 

[pleaz_me]

My father turns 98 next month, his older sister died two years ago, a younger sister at 94 last year the baby girl just turned 91, his other sister suffered an early death at age 88, so don't hold your breath for bucket kicking, (rent the movie if it's that important to you, good cast)
I guess I'll sport for the 2 hours and $30 at the motel. We'll use your leather cuffs as I rather like that idea. The kids are out on their own, but I'd be happy to rent a cops uniform to serve the restraining order.
Bedroom my ass, you'll wear the damn uniform in every room the patio, and hopefully a couple of rest stops somewhere, just don't clean in it unless it's cleaning up our passionate mess. I'd want you to take the damn chancelor for everthing he's worth to keep me in the style I'd like.

I'd happily join in unfaithfulness, and gladly accept the role of closeted cinematographer when not wanted,

I'm not Jewish, but have served as a token Gentile at several of the celebrations. And if I never see a golf course again it'll be several years too soon

We'll steal your father's pension checks to support the 2 hours and $30 at the motel. I'll wear the maid uniform and clean your father while you get to that. I don't watch movies as that requires sitting for more than five minutes and paying attention. I'll take the quickie trailer please.

You'll buy the police uniform and the rest stops will work. I'll be a lot lizard for the truck drivers and steal their money while they're after-glowing. You can come arrest me after we're done.

I expect you to screw the Chancellor's wife and blackmail her while I do the hubby. All photographic evidence will be sold on the internet. I will keep all monetaries received from sales.

Golf courses aren't my thing, but be sure you still keep your clubs handy for when your viagara wears out.

 

[pleaz_me]

no, that 'stick' is the connection to the electricity supply. he has to be 'jolted' alive every twelve seconds...

~Whew~ How's the pension fund look?

 

[pleaz_me]

...bribe a couple of judges, and mix the inmates at one site, kinda the best of both worlds.

That will work except the local judge is gay so you'll have to bend over for that one.

 

[jhe1950]

Well yes she is gay...

...I forgot about that

 

[jhe1950]

some further notes....

We'll steal your father's pension checks to support the 2 hours and $30 at the motel. I'll wear the maid uniform and clean your father while you get to that. I don't watch movies as that requires sitting for more than five minutes and paying attention. I'll take the quickie trailer please.

You'll buy the police uniform and the rest stops will work. I'll be a lot lizard for the truck drivers and steal their money while they're after-glowing. You can come arrest me after we're done.

I expect you to screw the Chancellor's wife and blackmail her while I do the hubby. All photographic evidence will be sold on the internet. I will keep all monetaries received from sales.

Golf courses aren't my thing, but be sure you still keep your clubs handy for when your viagara wears out

My father will outlive both of us, and even if he doesn't he's the first to find a way to take his sizeable fortune with him. Trailers are ok, and he'd have you arrested in the maids outfit, or probably just out of spite, my suggestion avoid him all together God knows I do.

Lot lizard sounds good to me, as does the cop idea. (Oh, on that subject, for editing this thing while I was really on a roll and having to make me redo a whole entry, not only will you be cuffed and served (iced), you'll be severly spanked)

Not only will I screw the Chancellor's wife, I'll add extra value to the video by doing it while he's cuckolded. By the way I keep half the video receipts.

Again, I've fucked on a golf course, and can leave it at that unless it's something you really want to do. I have a viagra pusher, so unless you plan a desparate attack against a very healthy proctology nurse, (and I've seen your pics, my money would be on her), though I'd rather look at you, suffer with an endless supply of the damn drug. Still can use my old clubs if it floats your boat.

 

[pleaz_me]

...I forgot about that

We'll have to find a male judge. I'm not female talented.


Yet.