Aw fuck. Stupid dog owners.

[TurdFergeson]

I agree with your less than lethal means. I am a dog owner and only under the most sever circumstances would I end a dog's life. Personally I find that 1 part ammonia and 3 parts of water is a very good solution at stray animal deterrent.

That or tabasco and water.

Or Cayenne pepper, etc.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

You ignored my main point. Unless you are packing 100% of the time, the RAID might be closer. Not to mention having an alternative to deadly force is always a good idea.

Around my house, I'm almost ALWAYS packing, and so is my wife. She had a kid in her arms when this happened, though, and could not respond so readily. No can of raid helps you when your arms are full.

You worry about the can exploding while the dog is mauling your family members. Me, I'll flick the bic and crispy critter the mongrel.

I don't worry about it. And if I'm not carrying my gun around the house, I'm carrying a fairly large knife I bought from the ol' surplus store. I doubt anyone wants to see me carve up a dog up close and personal, especially when you don't know if the animal is rabid!

I'm not buying your can of raid defense, dude. Never will. Sorry, but no sale.

(Oh, there's a chance a gun might also explode in your hand when discharged, the chance every gun owner takes when firing)

Yup. That's true. But the presence of fire around a container of pressurized gas is guaranteed to be a much higher risk. Guaranteed.

And again, I'd be willing to get a taser gun for non-lethal responses. If it's possible to get one.

 

[Redatlit]

Around my house, I'm almost ALWAYS packing, and so is my wife. She had a kid in her arms when this happened, though, and could not respond so readily. No can of raid helps you when your arms are full.


I don't worry about it. And if I'm not carrying my gun around the house, I'm carrying a fairly large knife I bought from the ol' surplus store. I doubt anyone wants to see me carve up a dog up close and personal, especially when you don't know if the animal is rabid!

I'm not buying your can of raid defense, dude. Never will. Sorry, but no sale.


Yup. That's true. But the presence of fire around a container of pressurized gas is guaranteed to be a much higher risk. Guaranteed.

And again, I'd be willing to get a taser gun for non-lethal responses.

If you and your wife both need to be armed at all times you might want to reevaluate your life.

In addition if your wife had your kid in her arms why did you write this.

and then comes around to the front door and crouches into position to attack our toddler.

 

[Dead American]

i shot a nigger today

 

[TurdFergeson]

Around my house, I'm almost ALWAYS packing, and so is my wife. She had a kid in her arms when this happened, though, and could not respond so readily. No can of raid helps you when your arms are full.


I don't worry about it. And if I'm not carrying my gun around the house, I'm carrying a fairly large knife I bought from the ol' surplus store. I doubt anyone wants to see me carve up a dog up close and personal, especially when you don't know if the animal is rabid!

I'm not buying your can of raid defense, dude. Never will. Sorry, but no sale.


Yup. That's true. But the presence of fire around a container of pressurized gas is guaranteed to be a much higher risk. Guaranteed.

And again, I'd be willing to get a taser gun for non-lethal responses. If it's possible to get one.

Ever think about a BB gun? You can get a nice Co2 one. lol

 

[bronzeage]

Ever think about a BB gun? You can get a nice Co2 one. lol

BB guns don't impress insurance clients. They want an agent with fire power.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Ever think about a BB gun? You can get a nice Co2 one. lol

That's acceptable, too.

You're far more rational than the rest of these turds. Not that it's saying much but still.

 

[TurdFergeson]

True story. My parents had an old neighbor that would let their Great Dane run free through the neighborhood. This thing was freaking huge.

My folks had a little weenie dog (dachshund), and one day the Great Dane was out drinking from the sprinkler head in our lawn.

Fucking weenie dog ran up to it, totally fearless, ran underneath it and bit it in the nuts. Funniest thing I've ever seen, a weenie dog hanging under a Great Dane.

The old man thought the Dane might kill the dachshund, so he grabbed his wirst rocket sling-slot and the closest ammo he could find (a large nut for a bolt). Anyway, the Dane ran away yelping after a sling shot to the ass.

 

[HeavyStick]

True Story, the OP is bullshit.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

True story. My parents had an old neighbor that would let their Great Dane run free through the neighborhood. This thing was freaking huge.

My folks had a little weenie dog (dachshund), and one day the Great Dane was out drinking from the sprinkler head in our lawn.

Fucking weenie dog ran up to it, totally fearless, ran underneath it and bit it in the nuts. Funniest thing I've ever seen, a weenie dog hanging under a Great Dane.

The old man thought the Dane might kill the dachshund, so he grabbed his wirst rocket sling-slot and the closest ammo he could find (a large nut for a bolt). Anyway, the Dane ran away yelping after a sling shot to the ass.

Danes are 500 million times less aggressive than Dob's.

Small dogs have a Napoleon complex, just look at HeavyStick for an example.

 

[TerribleChester]

So we're sitting outside closing insurance and annuity deals in blue jeans with lemonade and a certain neighbor's doberman comes, pees on the Hi Hy (highlander hybrid) - which we find out later - and then comes around to the front door and crouches into position to attack our toddler.

Well, I scared the shit out of our clients by pulling out a 9mm and shooting the dog in the head.

The sheriff's deputy comes and animal control comes and take care of the problem. Problem solved.

NOT.

So, hours later, while we're still closing this deal, the dog's idiot owner, some scrawny assed wanna be cowboy with a big truck, comes by knocking on all the neighbors doors looking for his lost dog, and finally comes to my door. I ask him if it was a doberman, and he says yes. I tell him what happened and he flips the fuck out, I tell him his dog shoulda been on a leash, he starts screaming about why does his dog have to be on a leash, why don't we put the kid on a leash, blah blah, and I told him the dog was on our property, threatening my kid, end of argument. He says who am I to tell him 'end of argument' and tries to push me. I punch him out and slap a nasty little compression lock on his biceps, drag him several hundred feet, and throw him off my property. Then I repeat, end of argument, get in his truck and get lost.

So the sheriff's deputy just came and left, I had lemonade waiting for him, we drank and laughed about the dude calling the cops on me and threatening to sue. His arm's supposedly broken. I bet it's his muscles are all fucked up. He's got medical bills, for sure. Our client came out and asked if we wanted him and his wife to file their own police report against this guy. So we are.

If he hadn't pushed me, I'd be in a world of trouble right now.

I bet he was reading the General Board and believed all that bullshit about how I can't fight, LOL. Good job, guys heheh.

Stupid dog owners. They should be the ones put on a leash.

If these assholes were in my face they'd be silenced and sitting in the hospital in body casts. THAT would be my counter argument.

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

 

[jomar]

He's ex-military. It was a no brainer. I actually told him about you guys over the phone, he said damn, you guys are almost as dumb as that dude who came whining about his dog.

Just so you know, I didn't believe your story, but was happy to play along.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Just so you know, I didn't believe your story, but was happy to play along.

Oh well. Do you think I care? I could say the sun is up right now and you wouldn't believe it. You guys have wasted countless posts spouting opinions that mean absolutely nothing. You got absolutely nowhere.

How does it feel to have wasted all that time screeching about this and that and ranting about how you don't believe me?

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

Oh well. Do you think I care? I could say the sun is up right now and you wouldn't believe it. You guys have wasted countless posts spouting opinions that mean absolutely nothing. You got absolutely nowhere.

How does it feel to have wasted all that time screeching about this and that and ranting about how you don't believe me?

We all know that you don't care that you have absolutely zero credibility.

It begs the question though, why bother trying to impress a bunch of people that you insist that you don't care about and who don't believe anything you say anyway?

You care, otherwise this little fabricated anecdote would have been used on your co-workers, who probably laugh at you just as much as we do, but are just too polite to do so to your face. You're that guy, the one everyone smiles and nods agreement with then rolls their eyes and laughs at when he turns to leave with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, thinking he pulled on over on everyone.

You're the laughing stock of the water cooler and the Clown Prince of Literotica..

 

[bronzeage]

We all know that you don't care that you have absolutely zero credibility.

It begs the question though, why bother trying to impress a bunch of people that you insist that you don't care about and who don't believe anything you say anyway?

You care, otherwise this little fabricated anecdote would have been used on your co-workers, who probably laugh at you just as much as we do, but are just too polite to do so to your face. You're that guy, the one everyone smiles and nods agreement with then rolls their eyes and laughs at when he turns to leave with a spring in his step and a smile on his face, thinking he pulled on over on everyone.

You're the laughing stock of the water cooler and the Clown Prince of Literotica..

He did try this story on his co-workers, but it was about a rouge elephant who escaped from the circus. They asked him which circus and the whole thing fell apart.

 

[phrodeau]

(edited)
Dude, it's not about whether I can prove what I say. It's the fact that I said anything at all. I can say the sky is blue and there'll be a 200 post pileon about how I have no idea what a sky really looks like.

You've been saying this for years. We know what you think.

What's unclear is why you made the original post. True or not, what was the point of bringing it to this board? Why didn't you take it to the Author's Hangout? I think you'll find that they have a better appreciation for fiction.

 

[phrodeau]

He did try this story on his co-workers, but it was about a rouge elephant who escaped from the circus. They asked him which circus and the whole thing fell apart.

I was going to correct your spelling of "rogue", but "rouge elephant" works just as well.

 

[bronzeage]

I was going to correct your spelling of "rogue", but "rouge elephant" works just as well.

Damn spellchek. A rouge elephant is better, almost pink.

 

[TheLamb]

Die.

That is all.

 

[loisofthelow]

Sounds like a good shot. What range?

Also, where do you holster your 9 while selling insurance on your porch?

 

[Legenda]

Sounds like a good shot. What range?

Also, where do you holster your 9 while selling insurance on your porch?

He keeps it in the baby's bassinet. The bad guys would never think to look there.

 

[moana15]

BB guns don't impress insurance clients. They want an agent with fire power.

I read through these sorts of threads for gems like this.

And things like "Hy Hi."

 

[loisofthelow]

He keeps it in the baby's bassinet. The bad guys would never think to look there.

The extra cute smell of baby oil mixed with gun oil.

 

[Jill_Spade]

So we're sitting outside closing insurance and annuity deals in blue jeans with lemonade and a certain neighbor's doberman comes, pees on the Hi Hy (highlander hybrid) - which we find out later - and then comes around to the front door and crouches into position to attack our toddler.

Well, I scared the shit out of our clients by pulling out a 9mm and shooting the dog in the head.

The sheriff's deputy comes and animal control comes and take care of the problem. Problem solved.

NOT.

So, hours later, while we're still closing this deal, the dog's idiot owner, some scrawny assed wanna be cowboy with a big truck, comes by knocking on all the neighbors doors looking for his lost dog, and finally comes to my door. I ask him if it was a doberman, and he says yes. I tell him what happened and he flips the fuck out, I tell him his dog shoulda been on a leash, he starts screaming about why does his dog have to be on a leash, why don't we put the kid on a leash, blah blah, and I told him the dog was on our property, threatening my kid, end of argument. He says who am I to tell him 'end of argument' and tries to push me. I punch him out and slap a nasty little compression lock on his biceps, drag him several hundred feet, and throw him off my property. Then I repeat, end of argument, get in his truck and get lost.

So the sheriff's deputy just came and left, I had lemonade waiting for him, we drank and laughed about the dude calling the cops on me and threatening to sue. His arm's supposedly broken. I bet it's his muscles are all fucked up. He's got medical bills, for sure. Our client came out and asked if we wanted him and his wife to file their own police report against this guy. So we are.

If he hadn't pushed me, I'd be in a world of trouble right now.

I bet he was reading the General Board and believed all that bullshit about how I can't fight, LOL. Good job, guys heheh.

Stupid dog owners. They should be the ones put on a leash.

What a crock of shit.

 

[the_freshtaker]

Oh man, I guess "Le" was right. This online is full of morons. Ok, Im the guy who was sitting there next to him when this incident went down. I live in an area nearby and we have major issues with dogs intruding on people's property, okay? We deal with wandering dogs occasionally biting kids, okay? You people don't know what you're talking about. Oh yeah you must thnk I'm an alternative or whatever. When you snot nosed brats get out of hi school your attitude will change real fast. Le wasn't kidding when he said this General place is stupid.