Literotica’s Most Wanted Criminals
Fugitives-At-Large
Do you know who your really chatting up and cyber fucking? Watch out! You might be there next victim you stupid fuckwits
Wanted – Interpol Fugitives
UK Criminals
SeanH aka Sean Hammond, the American-hating Neo-Nazi, recently fled his native Ireland. He is the man behind the man behind the woman behind all the identities on Lit. Due to his identity crisis and his hatred towards Jews and Americans, he started chopping up everyone he hated who fell under this category. He escaped from a Turkish prison after being sentenced to life in prison due to the rejection of his 2 inch cock by other prisoners. He can be recognized by his abundance of swastika tattoos, shaved head, bad alcohol/cigarette breath, and yellow-stained, crooked teeth. He also has cigarette burns on his face from falling asleep pissed at his computer. He is considered armed and dangeroUS (if you count a 2 inch penis dangeroUS) and there is a $500,000 reward for his capture (dead or alive or White Supremist).
MWF( aka MoreWickedFun aka Hornybabe aka grannycakes), murderess-at-large, fled her native Canada for chopping up men and women who dared reject her psychotic advances. She escaped the worst female prison in the UK. She was forced into submission by a butch named Bernice in which she was gagged and chained to her cell block. Her crimes include: burglary, bad videography, cannibalism, sodomy with varioUS produce and 1st degree murder in which she cut up her victim’s body parts and ate their penises as a sign of her female domination. She is known as the “Ted Bundy Babe” and has been known to study in detail the heinoUS crimes of such serial killers as Manson, Bundy and Dahmer. She is considered armed and dangeroUS and should not be approached. Bounty hunters are currently looking for her in both the UK and States. There is a $500,000 award for her capture (dead, alive or chopped ) she shows fake bits and is a ugly cow
The States most wanted list
Doll_parts1985 aka Brenda aka Ben is an annoying fat arse cow, pill-popping lunatic/hypochondriac who suffers from delUSions of grandeur. She is wanted in the US tax evasion, illegal pharmaceutical sales, and rodent cruelty. Her distinguishing features are the scars from her sex change operation (she USed to be a hair stylist named Ben). There is a warrant out of for her arrest for failing to appear in court becaUSe she can’t walk two blocks to the bUS stop. There is a $5 reward for her capture becaUSe no one really cares.
Vermillion Skye is a pathetic, old woman who hasn’t updated her picture since 1995. She is known for adopting lunatics and sick puppies. She’s a know it all with a penchant for scolding those who use improper grammar. Her crimes include boring lectures, pedantic speeches and annoying diatribe. She thinks she’s armed and dangeroUS but really she is rather pathetic. There is a $1 reward for her capture. The $1 reward will be given to a charity helping lepers and lunatics.
PannieMonster aka Emmy Mae Hottentot is a card carrying Republican cross-dresser who hails from Texas. He USed to be the psychiatrist to such Hollywood starlets gone bad like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. He was acsused of malpractice and was sued $10million by the Ritchie family. He fled to Mexico (where his 10 illegitimate children and Mexican bride are hiding out) and is wanted in the state of Texas, California, Nebraska and Arkansas for practicing psychiatry without a license and for his bad impersonation of a woman. He isn’t considered armed or dangerous because his arms were gnawed off by his most famoUS client, Doll_parts 1985, during a manic episode in ’06. There is a $50 reward for his capture. The reward will be donated to helping crazy Britney Spears buy her allotment of Starbucks for the month.
SweetVee aka Literotica’s Most Annoying Moderator is wanted in all fifty US for faking her medical school entrance and stealing her sister’s identification. She has been charged with identify theft, practicing medicine without a license, and necrophilia with cadavers. She is considered armed and dangeroUS and there is a $100 for her capture. The reward will be donated to the families of the cadavers that she fucked.
HeavyStick, international fugitive, is considered armed and dangeroUS as he’s a military man and his hands are dangeroUS weapons. The military is charging him with impersonation of a US military officer, producing crystal meth out of his 50 labs across the country, stealing machine guns and robbing 7-11s. He is wanted dead, alive or with a big stick stuck up his arse. There is a $200,000 reward for his capture.
December the alt of all alts of Sean Hammond likes big ugly arsed women with floppy tits. He will soon die when Doll parts confuses his ugly face for her pet rat and drowns him in the tub.
Cade Is Here aka Nipples McGee aka Great Lover aka Ebony Queen et al, the Columbo of Lit, trolls racists and trolls trolls. This armed and dangerous US Canadian was last seen holding up gas stations across British Columbia. He was last seen in a 1977 orange El Camino fleeing the Canadian border. An all points bulletin has been alerted to the FBI and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He is wanted for kidnapping retired Canucks hockey players, stealing Molsons from convenient stores and for impersonating a U.S citizen. He is considered armed and dangeroUS and White Supremists and Black Panthers should not approach him. His reward is set at $500,000 and he is wanted, dead, alive or Canadian.
December is an annoying bitch who trolls the General Board under varioUS names sucking cock and pUSsy for very little money. She was last seen sucking Joaquin’s cock for 50 cents and is wanted for selling crank, prostitution and hUSband beating. She is a fat arse, middle0aged soccer mom who has too much time on her hands and should be arrested for wearing spandex in public. Her reward is set for $1. Even the crack ho’s will turn her in for a measly $1.
Pinkstarfish, psychotic pro-Lifer Bible beater of Lit, is wanted in 50 US, Mexico and Canada for the the following: co-fondling of brotherly and sisterly prostitution, grand theft auto and conspiring to kill more beautiful female Litsters due to her insane insecurities. She escaped the worst female prison in the state of Oklahoma becaUSe she couldn’t hack the anal punishment by her butch lover, Shaneequa. She was last seen in the state of Florida working as a white trash crack whore with chipped blue toenail polish. Her reward is set at $1. She is also wanted for child endangerment and for fucking the dead body of Billy Graham (she claims JesUS made her do it). America’s Most Wanted is hoping her pimp will jUSt throw her in the crossfire of abortion clinic bombers and save US taxpayers for paying for her cell block.
LadyFunkenstein, AKA Loving Tongue Le Jacquelope, middle aged Nubian Princess know-it-all racist agains her own people I can’t find a date of Lit was really the parseenger in OJ’s SUV. She sucked Jerry Seinfeld’s miniscule cock in exchange for posting her bail. She also was previoUSly arrested for sucking Hugh Grant’s cock in public. Her crimes include: indecent exposure in being ugly and dressing like a ugly ghetto whore, public prostitution, dealing crack, robbing Jewish temples, and arseault and battery against beautiful women. She was last seen stealing Snoop Dog’s rims and whining about not having a boyfriend. She is considered armed and dangeroUS. Her reward is set at $10. Maybe all the Jewish guys she refUSed to suck will throw down their pennies to drag her ugly arse to prison.
LeJacquelope/Loving Tongue aka Ghetto crack ho, Fugly nappy headed Lady Funkenstein faked his own death in order to be “reborn” into someone even more annoying. His constant babbling diatribes about black power, men as the superior race and women as inferior beings would be deemed more appropriate on a Dr. Phil Gone Wrong episode. His crimes include: failure to pay child support and alimony and identity theft of Jesse Jackson. He is considered to be armed and dangeroUS and his reward is set at $20. Bounty hunters comprised of White Supremists have been closing in on this Jesse Jackson wannabe. It’s jUSt a matter of time.
Emerald Eyed was last seen stealing cases of Mountain Dew from a Wal-mart in the Bible Belt. BecaUSe she is such a bad criminal, she mUSt piggy back on the more heinoUS criminals who are far more cunning. Her distinguishing feature is her I Brake for Truckers tattoo on her left breast. Her crimes include: petty theft, fraud embezzlement and attempted manslaughter (in a jealoUS rage, she attempted to poison Moanique). She is considered armed and dangeroUS and will attempt to shoot you down with her pathetic drivel. Her reward is set at $1 becaUSe Moanique will return, become enraged and take her out for US.
Joaquin1975 aka Roryn, accomplice and gay lover of SeanH, who hails from Hampton Roads, is a flaming racist Sean-wannabe. Sporting a Neo-Nazi ‘do with cigarellos hanging from his toothless mouth, he is considered armed and dangeroUS. He was last seen escaping with Sean and was seen hanging out of Sean’s bunghole. His crimes include sodomy with Sean’s pets, burglary and fraud. There is a $50 award for his capture. Bounty hunters recommend you lure him with a Guiness and then knock him out with the empty bottle. He’s a raging alcoholic like Sean so you can always find him getting pissed at a pub. America’s Most Wanted recommends that you shove the bottle up his arse if you really want to get his attention. Roryn claims to like circle jerks, long walks on the beach and a hot poker rammed up his sore arsehole by Sean the yellow-stained pissed cocksucker.
ProblemChild aka PlumpChubbers is really a stay-at-home Mormon soccer mom who had to give up an advertising career to pump out 20 kids from her gaping hole. He/she thinks its funny but really its so high on prescription drugs that it doesn’t know what the fuck its writing anymore. Her hUSband dabbles in S&M and has been known to tie up PC in their basement (along side their supply of canned beans and fruits). PC is considered armed and dangeroUS and has embezzled millions of dollars in canned goods and paper products from Wal-mart . She shoots up heroin in her free time and has been known to sell her arse to the local Mormon elders. The Mormon Church has posted the money for her reward from their secret reserves ($20,000). The Mormon Church has promised a bonUS of $10,000 if you ex-communicate her from the temple first.
Bollock head aka annoying fuckwit Sean who lives in his mum’s on the dole. He drinks away his money on scotch and spends hours trying to outwit Interpol with his pissed tirades. He will soon be brought to justice when Morewickefun saws off his head with a chainsaw. No money for bail is necessary.
Fugitives-At-Large
Do you know who your really chatting up and cyber fucking? Watch out! You might be there next victim you stupid fuckwits
Wanted – Interpol Fugitives
UK Criminals
SeanH aka Sean Hammond, the American-hating Neo-Nazi, recently fled his native Ireland. He is the man behind the man behind the woman behind all the identities on Lit. Due to his identity crisis and his hatred towards Jews and Americans, he started chopping up everyone he hated who fell under this category. He escaped from a Turkish prison after being sentenced to life in prison due to the rejection of his 2 inch cock by other prisoners. He can be recognized by his abundance of swastika tattoos, shaved head, bad alcohol/cigarette breath, and yellow-stained, crooked teeth. He also has cigarette burns on his face from falling asleep pissed at his computer. He is considered armed and dangeroUS (if you count a 2 inch penis dangeroUS) and there is a $500,000 reward for his capture (dead or alive or White Supremist).
MWF( aka MoreWickedFun aka Hornybabe aka grannycakes), murderess-at-large, fled her native Canada for chopping up men and women who dared reject her psychotic advances. She escaped the worst female prison in the UK. She was forced into submission by a butch named Bernice in which she was gagged and chained to her cell block. Her crimes include: burglary, bad videography, cannibalism, sodomy with varioUS produce and 1st degree murder in which she cut up her victim’s body parts and ate their penises as a sign of her female domination. She is known as the “Ted Bundy Babe” and has been known to study in detail the heinoUS crimes of such serial killers as Manson, Bundy and Dahmer. She is considered armed and dangeroUS and should not be approached. Bounty hunters are currently looking for her in both the UK and States. There is a $500,000 award for her capture (dead, alive or chopped ) she shows fake bits and is a ugly cow
The States most wanted list
Doll_parts1985 aka Brenda aka Ben is an annoying fat arse cow, pill-popping lunatic/hypochondriac who suffers from delUSions of grandeur. She is wanted in the US tax evasion, illegal pharmaceutical sales, and rodent cruelty. Her distinguishing features are the scars from her sex change operation (she USed to be a hair stylist named Ben). There is a warrant out of for her arrest for failing to appear in court becaUSe she can’t walk two blocks to the bUS stop. There is a $5 reward for her capture becaUSe no one really cares.
Vermillion Skye is a pathetic, old woman who hasn’t updated her picture since 1995. She is known for adopting lunatics and sick puppies. She’s a know it all with a penchant for scolding those who use improper grammar. Her crimes include boring lectures, pedantic speeches and annoying diatribe. She thinks she’s armed and dangeroUS but really she is rather pathetic. There is a $1 reward for her capture. The $1 reward will be given to a charity helping lepers and lunatics.
PannieMonster aka Emmy Mae Hottentot is a card carrying Republican cross-dresser who hails from Texas. He USed to be the psychiatrist to such Hollywood starlets gone bad like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. He was acsused of malpractice and was sued $10million by the Ritchie family. He fled to Mexico (where his 10 illegitimate children and Mexican bride are hiding out) and is wanted in the state of Texas, California, Nebraska and Arkansas for practicing psychiatry without a license and for his bad impersonation of a woman. He isn’t considered armed or dangerous because his arms were gnawed off by his most famoUS client, Doll_parts 1985, during a manic episode in ’06. There is a $50 reward for his capture. The reward will be donated to helping crazy Britney Spears buy her allotment of Starbucks for the month.
SweetVee aka Literotica’s Most Annoying Moderator is wanted in all fifty US for faking her medical school entrance and stealing her sister’s identification. She has been charged with identify theft, practicing medicine without a license, and necrophilia with cadavers. She is considered armed and dangeroUS and there is a $100 for her capture. The reward will be donated to the families of the cadavers that she fucked.
HeavyStick, international fugitive, is considered armed and dangeroUS as he’s a military man and his hands are dangeroUS weapons. The military is charging him with impersonation of a US military officer, producing crystal meth out of his 50 labs across the country, stealing machine guns and robbing 7-11s. He is wanted dead, alive or with a big stick stuck up his arse. There is a $200,000 reward for his capture.
December the alt of all alts of Sean Hammond likes big ugly arsed women with floppy tits. He will soon die when Doll parts confuses his ugly face for her pet rat and drowns him in the tub.
Cade Is Here aka Nipples McGee aka Great Lover aka Ebony Queen et al, the Columbo of Lit, trolls racists and trolls trolls. This armed and dangerous US Canadian was last seen holding up gas stations across British Columbia. He was last seen in a 1977 orange El Camino fleeing the Canadian border. An all points bulletin has been alerted to the FBI and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He is wanted for kidnapping retired Canucks hockey players, stealing Molsons from convenient stores and for impersonating a U.S citizen. He is considered armed and dangeroUS and White Supremists and Black Panthers should not approach him. His reward is set at $500,000 and he is wanted, dead, alive or Canadian.
December is an annoying bitch who trolls the General Board under varioUS names sucking cock and pUSsy for very little money. She was last seen sucking Joaquin’s cock for 50 cents and is wanted for selling crank, prostitution and hUSband beating. She is a fat arse, middle0aged soccer mom who has too much time on her hands and should be arrested for wearing spandex in public. Her reward is set for $1. Even the crack ho’s will turn her in for a measly $1.
Pinkstarfish, psychotic pro-Lifer Bible beater of Lit, is wanted in 50 US, Mexico and Canada for the the following: co-fondling of brotherly and sisterly prostitution, grand theft auto and conspiring to kill more beautiful female Litsters due to her insane insecurities. She escaped the worst female prison in the state of Oklahoma becaUSe she couldn’t hack the anal punishment by her butch lover, Shaneequa. She was last seen in the state of Florida working as a white trash crack whore with chipped blue toenail polish. Her reward is set at $1. She is also wanted for child endangerment and for fucking the dead body of Billy Graham (she claims JesUS made her do it). America’s Most Wanted is hoping her pimp will jUSt throw her in the crossfire of abortion clinic bombers and save US taxpayers for paying for her cell block.
LadyFunkenstein, AKA Loving Tongue Le Jacquelope, middle aged Nubian Princess know-it-all racist agains her own people I can’t find a date of Lit was really the parseenger in OJ’s SUV. She sucked Jerry Seinfeld’s miniscule cock in exchange for posting her bail. She also was previoUSly arrested for sucking Hugh Grant’s cock in public. Her crimes include: indecent exposure in being ugly and dressing like a ugly ghetto whore, public prostitution, dealing crack, robbing Jewish temples, and arseault and battery against beautiful women. She was last seen stealing Snoop Dog’s rims and whining about not having a boyfriend. She is considered armed and dangeroUS. Her reward is set at $10. Maybe all the Jewish guys she refUSed to suck will throw down their pennies to drag her ugly arse to prison.
LeJacquelope/Loving Tongue aka Ghetto crack ho, Fugly nappy headed Lady Funkenstein faked his own death in order to be “reborn” into someone even more annoying. His constant babbling diatribes about black power, men as the superior race and women as inferior beings would be deemed more appropriate on a Dr. Phil Gone Wrong episode. His crimes include: failure to pay child support and alimony and identity theft of Jesse Jackson. He is considered to be armed and dangeroUS and his reward is set at $20. Bounty hunters comprised of White Supremists have been closing in on this Jesse Jackson wannabe. It’s jUSt a matter of time.
Emerald Eyed was last seen stealing cases of Mountain Dew from a Wal-mart in the Bible Belt. BecaUSe she is such a bad criminal, she mUSt piggy back on the more heinoUS criminals who are far more cunning. Her distinguishing feature is her I Brake for Truckers tattoo on her left breast. Her crimes include: petty theft, fraud embezzlement and attempted manslaughter (in a jealoUS rage, she attempted to poison Moanique). She is considered armed and dangeroUS and will attempt to shoot you down with her pathetic drivel. Her reward is set at $1 becaUSe Moanique will return, become enraged and take her out for US.
Joaquin1975 aka Roryn, accomplice and gay lover of SeanH, who hails from Hampton Roads, is a flaming racist Sean-wannabe. Sporting a Neo-Nazi ‘do with cigarellos hanging from his toothless mouth, he is considered armed and dangeroUS. He was last seen escaping with Sean and was seen hanging out of Sean’s bunghole. His crimes include sodomy with Sean’s pets, burglary and fraud. There is a $50 award for his capture. Bounty hunters recommend you lure him with a Guiness and then knock him out with the empty bottle. He’s a raging alcoholic like Sean so you can always find him getting pissed at a pub. America’s Most Wanted recommends that you shove the bottle up his arse if you really want to get his attention. Roryn claims to like circle jerks, long walks on the beach and a hot poker rammed up his sore arsehole by Sean the yellow-stained pissed cocksucker.
ProblemChild aka PlumpChubbers is really a stay-at-home Mormon soccer mom who had to give up an advertising career to pump out 20 kids from her gaping hole. He/she thinks its funny but really its so high on prescription drugs that it doesn’t know what the fuck its writing anymore. Her hUSband dabbles in S&M and has been known to tie up PC in their basement (along side their supply of canned beans and fruits). PC is considered armed and dangeroUS and has embezzled millions of dollars in canned goods and paper products from Wal-mart . She shoots up heroin in her free time and has been known to sell her arse to the local Mormon elders. The Mormon Church has posted the money for her reward from their secret reserves ($20,000). The Mormon Church has promised a bonUS of $10,000 if you ex-communicate her from the temple first.
Bollock head aka annoying fuckwit Sean who lives in his mum’s on the dole. He drinks away his money on scotch and spends hours trying to outwit Interpol with his pissed tirades. He will soon be brought to justice when Morewickefun saws off his head with a chainsaw. No money for bail is necessary.
