Bistro Bijou

[Gaia_Lorraine]

*Coughs*
**Sneezes**
***Looks pathetic***​

<How's that for being an attention whore?>

A doctor told me once that if you give up breathing you don't catch any ailments.
I never tried it and strangely I never heard from anyone who has?

 

[Anschul]

Oh thank you Mommy! *Smooch, smooch.* I feel better already. there's nothing like someone fussing over me to make me feel better lol.

Actually I made a really rocking pizza tonight. Fresh mozzarella and basil leaves makes such a difference! Well, I couldn't really taste the mozz, but it looked gorgeous.

Where's my big brother? He's supposed to make me soup, too (and it better not be borscht)! *Stamps feet prettily*

http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk67/freddheadpix/matzoh_ball.jpg



Let's see...to do (sometimes known as a Honey Do) list:

Kids to swimming practice every day
Dogs to dog park every day
Pack whenever possible
Work on freelance project
Pack whenever possible
Visit pain-in-the-ass sister on demand (hers)
Pack whenever possible
Finish painting master bathroom ceiling where drywall cracked
Finish trim paint in hall bathroom
Paint upstairs hallway walls and ceiling
Pack whenever possible
Kids have swim meets every Tuesday and Thursday evenings...report time is 4:45
Juneteenth rehearsal (don't ask)
Pack whenever possible
Start working on utility setups in Pennsylvania (cable, gas, electric, water, sewer, trash...)
Track down school records
Set up registrations for girls in schools in PA
Find string instrument teacher in PA
Pack whenever possible...
Fix broken outdoor faucet
Trim hedges around house
Arrange insurance for home and cars in PA
find time to accommodate all necessary family ties
Pack whenever possible...
oh, wait...

I need to make matzoh ball soup for Angeline...
And I never heard how the barbecue ribs turned out...

 

[loststar]

The California report

so yes I am still alive, and parts of california have survived my trip, so far...
I would have written sooner, but this is the first moment in my gypsy existance that I have had a computer without peering eyes following my every move. So Hello, I have missed you all, and send you lots of love, I'll only be on a short while, hopefuly I can begin to catch up on the fun here, and hopefuly my sanity will pounce while I am distracted...hopefully... I miss you all and will be back to annoying mode next week, untill then you will have to keep yourselves amused

 

[Angeline]

so yes I am still alive, and parts of california have survived my trip, so far...
I would have written sooner, but this is the first moment in my gypsy existance that I have had a computer without peering eyes following my every move. So Hello, I have missed you all, and send you lots of love, I'll only be on a short while, hopefuly I can begin to catch up on the fun here, and hopefuly my sanity will pounce while I am distracted...hopefully... I miss you all and will be back to annoying mode next week, untill then you will have to keep yourselves amused

Hiya witchling! Glad to see you. You are never ever annoying.

I'm feeling sorta better. My sweet eagleyez went out to the food coop to get me some fresh spices and peppers for a curry tonight. That'll kick my cold's ass but good. (Did I just mix metaphors? Colds don't have asses. Never mind...)

 

[Homburg]

untill then you will have to keep yourselves amused

I refuse. Here, I make my stand.

I will NOT entertain myself.

DANCE FOR ME, MONKEY!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Hiya witchling! Glad to see you. You are never ever annoying.

I'm feeling sorta better. My sweet eagleyez went out to the food coop to get me some fresh spices and peppers for a curry tonight. That'll kick my cold's ass but good. (Did I just mix metaphors? Colds don't have asses. Never mind...)

Mixed metaphor day in the Bistro! Tighten your shorts and get a leg up on that horse of a different color!

Glad you're feeling better. What kind of a superhuman are you, being able to still cook a gorgeous dinner while you're sick? You truly amaze me.

A doctor told me once that if you give up breathing you don't catch any ailments.
I never tried it and strangely I never heard from anyone who has?

Them as what's gone on to the non-breathin' realms generally assert that it's a radical cure and should only be used as a last resort.

At least, that's what I heard.

I refuse. Here, I make my stand.

I will NOT entertain myself.

DANCE FOR ME, MONKEY!

If you could entertain yourself, you wouldn't need this place, and that would be sad.

*in a cooperative mood, does a small, arrhythmic soft-shoe.*

Here's how to entertain Homburg:

I heard that you hit like a girl.

*runs away*

bj

 

[Angeline]

Mixed metaphor day in the Bistro! Tighten your shorts and get a leg up on that horse of a different color!

Glad you're feeling better. What kind of a superhuman are you, being able to still cook a gorgeous dinner while you're sick? You truly amaze me.



Them as what's gone on to the non-breathin' realms generally assert that it's a radical cure and should only be used as a last resort.

At least, that's what I heard.






If you could entertain yourself, you wouldn't need this place, and that would be sad.

*in a cooperative mood, does a small, arrhythmic soft-shoe.*

Here's how to entertain Homburg:

I heard that you hit like a girl.

*runs away*

bj

You're such a sweetheart. Cooking almost never feels like work to me; it's very fun and relaxing. If I don't feel great, going out in the kitchen and messing around with stuff and trying new recipes usually brightens me up. It's very creative. I write to my mom and tell I make my own bagels, ice cream, you name it. I don't think she believes it lol.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I actually used to enjoy cooking a great deal, but ever since we moved to the Shotgun Shack it's a lot more difficult. I'll still cook, but I whine the whole time about how we need to take some plastique to that hellhole of a kitchen and build a whole new one. So it promotes peace in the household for me to not go in there too much.

There was a time, when I lived in an actual house, that I often cooked dinner for whole groups of friends. Can ya imagine?

bj

 

[Homburg]

If you could entertain yourself, you wouldn't need this place, and that would be sad.

*in a cooperative mood, does a small, arrhythmic soft-shoe.*

Here's how to entertain Homburg:

I heard that you hit like a girl.

*runs away*

bj

Yes, this is true. Were I able to completely entertain myself I'd not need this place.

And, thank you. I know quite a number of girls that I wish I hit as well as they do.

 

[Angeline]

I actually used to enjoy cooking a great deal, but ever since we moved to the Shotgun Shack it's a lot more difficult. I'll still cook, but I whine the whole time about how we need to take some plastique to that hellhole of a kitchen and build a whole new one. So it promotes peace in the household for me to not go in there too much.

There was a time, when I lived in an actual house, that I often cooked dinner for whole groups of friends. Can ya imagine?

bj

Lol. I have no doubt you're an excellent cook.

I don't have a big eat-in kitchen, but it's a big open space and ee is usually either helping or near enough to talk with me. That keeps it fun. I don't even have a dishwasher, but I've never minded doing dishes (neither does ee; he's quite the neatnik). When we move, an eat-in kitchen would be lovely. And a dishwasher would be nice, but no washer and dryer will be the dealbreaker for me. I'm too friggen old to deal with the laundromat anymore. I just hate schlepping out for that, not to mention the up and down all the stairs schlepping.

 

[Homburg]

I just hate schlepping out for that, not to mention the up and down all the stairs schlepping.

Schlepping is such a good word.

 

[champagne1982]

Ya know, age has nothin' to do with the schlepping on stairs. Knees are the sole determinant in how effectively laundry gets schlepped. In my case, there's a twice weekly event called "to the top of the stairs schlepping and then the tossing of the laundry down" said in a classic princessy whine. To bring it back folded and on hangers, well ... someone else can do it and they do, or it's maaaagick << sung in imitation of the Bugs classic... Oh carrots are divine you get a dozen for a dime...it's maaaagick!. I never complain, either. I think if I had the nerve to do so, suddenly there'd be more to laundry than an occassional schlepping.

 

[Angeline]

Schlepping is such a good word.

It works especially well with laundry lol.

Ya know, age has nothin' to do with the schlepping on stairs. Knees are the sole determinant in how effectively laundry gets schlepped. In my case, there's a twice weekly event called "to the top of the stairs schlepping and then the tossing of the laundry down" said in a classic princessy whine. To bring it back folded and on hangers, well ... someone else can do it and they do, or it's maaaagick << sung in imitation of the Bugs classic... Oh carrots are divine you get a dozen for a dime...it's maaaagick!. I never complain, either. I think if I had the nerve to do so, suddenly there'd be more to laundry than an occassional schlepping.

Grrrr.

 

[champagne1982]

Grrrr.

Look what I found! Transylvania 6-5000.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Yes, this is true. Were I able to completely entertain myself I'd not need this place.

And, thank you. I know quite a number of girls that I wish I hit as well as they do.

Damn. I guess I knew it wouldn't be that easy to get to you.

I hit pretty good for a girl myself, actually.

Maybe the proper challenge line for Homburg, although it may be a Chicago thing, is this one. You have to imagine it in a Chicago accent, with a very direct gaze:

You wanna go? Let's go...

Ya know, age has nothin' to do with the schlepping on stairs. Knees are the sole determinant in how effectively laundry gets schlepped. In my case, there's a twice weekly event called "to the top of the stairs schlepping and then the tossing of the laundry down" said in a classic princessy whine. To bring it back folded and on hangers, well ... someone else can do it and they do, or it's maaaagick << sung in imitation of the Bugs classic... Oh carrots are divine you get a dozen for a dime...it's maaaagick!. I never complain, either. I think if I had the nerve to do so, suddenly there'd be more to laundry than an occassional schlepping.

Oh indeed, the knees are the thing.
Remind me, sweet, how soon I'm supposed to be singing for you again. Don't you have a stress test coming up any minute? I lost track.
Full moon now and Midsummer in a couple days, so this is a good time for some work.

And that's one of my favorite Bugs songs! I sing it all the time.

bj

 

[champagne1982]

Damn. I guess I knew it wouldn't be that easy to get to you.

I hit pretty good for a girl myself, actually.

Maybe the proper challenge line for Homburg, although it may be a Chicago thing, is this one. You have to imagine it in a Chicago accent, with a very direct gaze:

You wanna go? Let's go...



Oh indeed, the knees are the thing.
Remind me, sweet, how soon I'm supposed to be singing for you again. Don't you have a stress test coming up any minute? I lost track.
Full moon now and Midsummer in a couple days, so this is a good time for some work.

And that's one of my favorite Bugs songs! I sing it all the time.

bj

The stress test is on Friday... a lil rock and roll from a Kansas corn field at midnight during a full moon. Yep. I'll get some toe of dog ... or whatever; to tickle. Cooper the retriever, is especially ticklish on the rear paws.

 

[Angeline]

Look what I found! Transylvania 6-5000.

Oh I loovve Bugs! How could you not?

My personal all-time fave:

The Rabbit of Seville

I just sat here and watched the whole thing again and laughed like an idiot. Check out the opening credits: one of the "stars" is "Eduardo Seltzieri." Ahahahaha!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Oh I loovve Bugs! How could you not?

My personal all-time fave:

The Rabbit of Seville

I just sat here and watched the whole thing again and laughed like an idiot. Check out the opening credits: one of the "stars" is "Eduardo Seltzieri." Ahahahaha!

yup *nods* I just wasted about 45 minutes watching bugs bunny cartoons on YouTube.

Rabbit of Seville is second only to "What's Opera, Doc?" which is my absolute, all time favorite. The lines "Oh Bwunhilde, you're so wuvely" "Yes I know it; I can't help it" never, ever fail to make me Laugh Out Loud.

I'll be dedicatin' this video to our resident fan of germanic opera...

bj

 

[Angeline]

yup *nods* I just wasted about 45 minutes watching bugs bunny cartoons on YouTube.

Rabbit of Seville is second only to "What's Opera, Doc?" which is my absolute, all time favorite. The lines "Oh Bwunhilde, you're so wuvely" "Yes I know it; I can't help it" never, ever fail to make me Laugh Out Loud.

I'll be dedicatin' this video to our resident fan of germanic opera...

bj

Nods.

I watched Bugs and then some Ren & Stimpy. I'm such an adolescent. That stuff cracks me up.

But now I really am going to finish dinner (I sort of stopped in the middle to make some whole wheat bread and then well I came here...)

Here's a little Bistro gifty just for you

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Nods.

I watched Bugs and then some Ren & Stimpy. I'm such an adolescent. That stuff cracks me up.

But now I really am going to finish dinner (I sort of stopped in the middle to make some whole wheat bread and then well I came here...)

Here's a little Bistro gifty just for you

OMG! OMG! Fabulous!

When I was about twelve, they ran "My Little Chickadee" on TV, and I sat next to the tv set with my little cassette recorder and made an audio recording of the whole movie. I listened to it constantly and had whole passages memorized. I had an actual shrine in my bedroom, with a picture of her flanked by candles. I guess in retrospect she was my first Goddess.

And then there was that talent show when I sang "My Old Flame". The number involved hot wax and a leash. But that's another story.

bj

 

[Tzara]

yup *nods* I just wasted about 45 minutes watching bugs bunny cartoons on YouTube.

Rabbit of Seville is second only to "What's Opera, Doc?" which is my absolute, all time favorite. The lines "Oh Bwunhilde, you're so wuvely" "Yes I know it; I can't help it" never, ever fail to make me Laugh Out Loud.

I'll be dedicatin' this video to our resident fan of germanic opera...

bj

Not bad, either of them.

Well, actually, pretty funny.

I am waiting, though, for Parsifal to be done as a Simpsons cartoon, which it somewhat resembles. Homer as Parsifal, Ned Flanders as Klingsor and his droopy, ineffective spear, Edna Krabappel as Kundry.

Ending, of course, with some nuclear incident from Mr. Burns' power plant.

Ol' Reekhart was kind of a joke, y'know.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Not bad, either of them.

Well, actually, pretty funny.

I am waiting, though, for Parsifal to be done as a Simpsons cartoon, which it somewhat resembles. Homer as Parsifal, Ned Flanders as Klingsor and his droopy, ineffective spear, Edna Krabappel as Kundry.

Ending, of course, with some nuclear incident from Mr. Burns' power plant.

Ol' Reekhart was kind of a joke, y'know.

Well the Brak Show did Hamlet in fifteen minutes. So maybe this isn't such an unrealistic dream...

bj

 

[Tzara]

Well the Brak Show did Hamlet in fifteen minutes. So maybe this isn't such an unrealistic dream...

bj

Tom Stoppard did a fifteen minute version also. The Reduced Shakespeare Company does the Complete Works of William Shakespeare in 90 minutes and Wagner's Ring in 30. They are supposedly preparing a twenty-minute version of the Star Wars "saga," though that seems maybe fifteen minutes too long to me.

But I would leave Jar-Jar Binks out, so perhaps that accounts for the discrepancy.

 

[Angeline]

Well the Brak Show did Hamlet in fifteen minutes. So maybe this isn't such an unrealistic dream...

bj

Tom Stoppard did a fifteen minute version also. The Reduced Shakespeare Company does the Complete Works of William Shakespeare in 90 minutes and Wagner's Ring in 30. They are supposedly preparing a twenty-minute version of the Star Wars "saga," though that seems maybe fifteen minutes too long to me.

But I would leave Jar-Jar Binks out, so perhaps that accounts for the discrepancy.

I'm guessing you fine folks are unfamiliar with Book-A-Minute Classics. They've been around for a while, but Lauren Hynde and I discovered them one night three or four years back when we were bsing on Yahoo Instant Messaging. There were some threads that ensued here cause, well, Book-A-Minutes are as fun to write as they are to read.

For example:

The condensed Great Gatsby

Gatsby: Daisy, I made all this money for you, because I love you.
Daisy: I cannot reciprocate, because I represent the American Dream.
Gatsby: Now I must die, because I also represent the American Dream.
(Gatsby DIES.)
Nick: I hate New Yorkers.
THE END

or the condensed King Lear

King Lear: I am senile and old. Flatter me, and I'll write my will.
Regan and Goneril: Daddy, you are way the oh too awesome bomb. We would totally not ever, like, backstab you and take your land.
Cordelia: Dad, if you believe that, you're a fool.
Fool: I can dance. Bye.
King Lear: I give everything to the suck-ups.
Regan and Goneril: We're in charge now, pops. Go away and go insane.
Everyone: (dies)
THE END

or the ultimate condensed book, War and Peace

Leo Tolstoy: History controls everything we do, so there is no point in observing individual actions. Let's examine the individual actions of over 500 characters at great length.
THE END

Fun huh? Try it.

 

[Angeline]

Oooh I think I found a new favorite!

The condensed Canterbury Tales

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a voyage long,
Of pilgrims headed 'cross the land,
Nine and twenty strong.

The Knight was a most distinguished man,
The Skipper brave and sure,
The Doctor had a love for gold,
The Franklin was a whore.
The Franklin was a whore.

The travellers, they found an inn,
The Tabard was its name;
If not for the segues of the Host,
The story would be lame.
The story would be lame.

The pilgrims set out on their course,
St. Christopher they sought;
With the Wife of Bath,
The Miller too,
The Summoner,
And the Reeve,
The Pardoner, and the rest,
To Canterbury they go!
THE END