Need your help collecting my money

[shereads]

I have been contacted by a banker who wants me to pretend to be the next-of-kin to a deceased customer from Guam, so that we can collect the USD $15.5 million estate before it is confiscated by The Government. This banker, a Mr. Hulley, chose me because he trusts that I will not betray him once the funds have been transferred to my checking account.

My bank will be surprised when my account balance suddenly rises by $15,999,928.33.

So that's one issue.

The other is that I really don't have time to deal with this now, as I am busy trying to help an attorney in Nigeria settle a $30 million estate. Meanwhile, I have to somehow claim my winnings in BMW Great Britain's grand prize competition (a new BMW Automobile and 500,000 England Sterling Pounds.)

Anyone want to help? I'll make it worth your while. I don't want to be greedy here - and frankly, I don't think I could spend more than $7.5 million combined USD and English Sterling Pounds. Then there are the pesos...

 

[christabelll]

*snork*

 

[shereads]

*snork*

Is that a no?

 

[rgraham666]

http://www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/spam-collection-2007-06.jpg

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I would love to help but I'm busy helping to sponser children that will eventually be adopted by rich celebrities. Madonna's list is growing daily and I'm just trying to find out where to temporarily put all these kids and learn their languages. They seem to like chicken nuggets too. I need a new fridge.

 

[Guest]

http://www.alaska.net/~royce/spam/spam-collection-2007-06.jpg

Geez - ya think, Rob?

Messing with the 904 scammers is kinda fun

I did that for a while, but it's far too much effort.

 

[CharleyH]

I have been contacted by a banker who wants me to pretend to be the next-of-kin to a deceased customer from Guam, so that we can collect the USD $15.5 million estate before it is confiscated by The Government. This banker, a Mr. Hulley, chose me because he trusts that I will not betray him once the funds have been transferred to my checking account.

My bank will be surprised when my account balance suddenly rises by $15,999,928.33.

So that's one issue.

The other is that I really don't have time to deal with this now, as I am busy trying to help an attorney in Nigeria settle a $30 million estate. Meanwhile, I have to somehow claim my winnings in BMW Great Britain's grand prize competition (a new BMW Automobile and 500,000 England Sterling Pounds.)

Anyone want to help? I'll make it worth your while. I don't want to be greedy here - and frankly, I don't think I could spend more than $7.5 million combined USD and English Sterling Pounds. Then there are the pesos...

I am only interested in men who have a lot of money, but require viagra.

 

[shereads]

I would love to help but I'm busy helping to sponser children that will eventually be adopted by rich celebrities. Madonna's list is growing daily and I'm just trying to find out where to temporarily put all these kids and learn their languages. They seem to like chicken nuggets too. I need a new fridge.

That's wonderful, Abs. I too have been moved to tears by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's adoption of little David from Malawi...

http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/video/#mea=42510

(You have to sit through a brief commercial before seeing Triumph's interview with Oprah. It's worth it.)

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

This is my lucky day

Gees, this sounds like a chance of a lifetime and a good deal to me. If there are no other takers, I'd like to stake a claim. I'm the first to help out a dame (you are a dame, aren't you) in a pinch. It's a bonus when there is money involved, too.

Please tell me what to do? Do you need for me to give you my social security number, credit card numbers, and/or bank account numbers?

If you need some money to get things moving along, I can send you a bank check. Just tell me for how much and where to send it.

Boy, this is my lucky day. Nothing like this ever happens to me...today.

 

[jomar]

I have been contacted by a banker who wants me to pretend to be the next-of-kin to a deceased customer from Guam, so that we can collect the USD $15.5 million estate before it is confiscated by The Government. This banker, a Mr. Hulley, chose me because he trusts that I will not betray him once the funds have been transferred to my checking account.

My bank will be surprised when my account balance suddenly rises by $15,999,928.33.

So that's one issue.

The other is that I really don't have time to deal with this now, as I am busy trying to help an attorney in Nigeria settle a $30 million estate. Meanwhile, I have to somehow claim my winnings in BMW Great Britain's grand prize competition (a new BMW Automobile and 500,000 England Sterling Pounds.)

Anyone want to help? I'll make it worth your while. I don't want to be greedy here - and frankly, I don't think I could spend more than $7.5 million combined USD and English Sterling Pounds. Then there are the pesos...

Sure. How much do I need to send to get the ball rolling?

That's wonderful, Abs. I too have been moved to tears by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's adoption of little David from Malawi...

http://www.nbc.com/Late_Night_with_Conan_O'Brien/video/#mea=42510

(You have to sit through a brief commercial before seeing Triumph's interview with Oprah. It's worth it.)

Calvin Cline's Ass.

God bless you.

 

[glynndah]

Could you wait a couple of days? I have an exciting job prospect complete with wonderful fringe benefits in Milan I'm currently in negotiations about. Well, I think that's what it was for. The message was all in Italian and Babelfish got very confused. I know there are magazines and throw pillows involved and I'm the only one in the United States qualified for this unique opportunity.

 

[shereads]

Could you wait a couple of days? I have an exciting job prospect complete with wonderful fringe benefits in Milan I'm currently in negotiations about. Well, I think that's what it was for. The message was all in Italian and Babelfish got very confused. I know there are magazines and throw pillows involved and I'm the only one in the United States qualified for this unique opportunity.

With the money we make from Benin's lost treasury, you'll be able to buy Milan.