Bistro Bijou

[Angeline]

"S-sitting down by my window,
Oh, looking at the rain.
S-sitting down by my window now now,
All around I felt it,
All I could see was the rain.
Something grabbed a hold of me, honey,
Felt to me honey like, lord, a ball and chain.
Yeah! hey! you know what I mean........"

oh fuck - there goes the rest of my day shot all to hell and to Southern Comfort...

You mean this?

I saw her when I was 14 at the Electric Factory in Philly. What a little dynamo, all beads and feathers and that raw wild voice. And yup she was sluggin SC all through the set.

 

[Sara Crewe]

It is indeed a day for me to be drinking scotch at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Four for you, and another two for me. Pretty soon I'll be singing Janis Joplin and telling everyone the Truth about what a crush I have on everybody here.

bj

I do a mean Me and Bobby McGee when in my happy place.

 

[RhymeSmith]

...He screams at my daughter (the one who tries so hard and just made honor roll) because she likes to talk to me, just talk to me!

Hmmm. I wonder if that could be construed as child abuse, under the statutes of the state of his residency...

...or maybe someone should just pop him a good one in the larynx.

 

[Angeline]

Hmmm. I wonder if that could be construed as child abuse, under the statutes of the state of his residency...

...or maybe someone should just pop him a good one in the larynx.

I'm willing to look into that if she tells me she's ready. I think it's psychological abuse for sure. She has her school, her grandparents and all her friends there, so it's hard for her to leave though she knows she can come live with us at any time. Right now I'm trying to support her without pushing her to do something that isn't what she wants. And she is considering whether she wants to come to me.

There's a few people who are ready to give him a swift kick and I'm at the head of the line.

I really don't want to get legal on him, but I'm starting to feel like I have no other choice.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

"S-sitting down by my window,
Oh, looking at the rain.
S-sitting down by my window now now,
All around I felt it,
All I could see was the rain.
Something grabbed a hold of me, honey,
Felt to me honey like, lord, a ball and chain.
Yeah! hey! you know what I mean........"

oh fuck - there goes the rest of my day shot all to hell and to Southern Comfort...

OMG. Like THIS.

Alright. I'm declaring Bistro Thing for the next several hours, starting now.

A very short background. Vikings drink. They have whole rituals about drinking. Rituals where we offer libations and toasts to every single damn thing we can think of, for hours.

Though there are fabulous names for the various sorts of offerings, it boils down to this:

We Boast, We Roast and We Toast.

On Boasting: Seriously. Just frikkin' do it. Vikings aren't afraid to tell people about their triumphs, their accomplishments, their heroism. Tell me what cool, brave, beautiful, heroic thing you did. You can even exaggerate. Tell it like a heroic saga about dragons and Evil and stuff.

On Roasting: There's a thing called a Flyting in which you call someone out and do some dangerous Truth-telling. Generally Vikings keep this to a minimum to avoid bloodshed. But occasionally it must be done. A Flyting would definitely be appropriate for Ange's ex.

On Toasting:
Things I have personally raised a toast to in ritual: My ancestors (living), my ancestors (dead), my descendants, my teachers, my spiritual guides (living), my spiritual guides (other), Odin, Thor, Tyr, Freyj, Freyja, Tyr, my hosts, my guests,
and thunderstorms.

You don't have to do all three things with each drink, but you may. You can choose whichever most appeal. Do three boasts and a toast. Whatever. The Vikings are very flexible.

I have already had some scotch, so I'm going to go design my libation.

Thing. It's one of the best words we get from the Vikings. Damn fine word. And I'm declaring Thing, as of now.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wold anyone like to take advatnage of a an ineb invri inebtri pished women? not focussin vedery well ere i need a fondull

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Wold anyone like to take advatnage of a an ineb invri inebtri pished women? not focussin vedery well ere i need a fondull

*GRAB*

*FONDLE*

I'm probably not what you had in mind, but I'm just getting in line first.

Have a drink - you deserve it, baby. And you need to Boast, I'm thinkin'. You've been a complete hero this past week or two.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I am frustrated n pissed hone y doubt I would turn u away

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I am frustrated n pissed hone y doubt I would turn u away

One of the Smart People around here probably remembers the Latin for the phrase "any port in a storm." I can't recall it. Did too much acid in the 60's.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Long reaching memory loss then

 

[Homburg]

Hmmm. I wonder if that could be construed as child abuse, under the statutes of the state of his residency...

...or maybe someone should just pop him a good one in the larynx.

Larynx, yup.

--

I've done enough Boasting lately, so we'll leave that one lie fallow.

And I've done a dangerous Truth-telling myself today, calling righteous doom upon my house and facing my makers with well-earned fury. So that that field will lie un-tilled as well.

I give Toast to those present, in this electronic corner. This place my mind's eye sees almost eerily well. It is pretentious to speak so of a thread on a message board, but many times the chatter here has smoothed over a worry or two for me with comforting feelings of quiet acceptance.

Thank you all.

 

[Angeline]

One of the Smart People around here probably remembers the Latin for the phrase "any port in a storm." I can't recall it. Did too much acid in the 60's.

bj

First time I ever took acid I spend most of the night listening to this. After about six hours it made incredible sense.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Larynx, yup.

--

I've done enough Boasting lately, so we'll leave that one lie fallow.

And I've done a dangerous Truth-telling myself today, calling righteous doom upon my house and facing my makers with well-earned fury. So that that field will lie un-tilled as well.

I give Toast to those present, in this electronic corner. This place my mind's eye sees almost eerily well. It is pretentious to speak so of a thread on a message board, but many times the chatter here has smoothed over a worry or two for me with comforting feelings of quiet acceptance.

Thank you all.

O well done!

Okay, I've been thinking about mine. And I'm now onto the second glass of single malt, so I offer two.

My Toast is to my two grandfathers, both gone. They were best friends, throughout life, in Rotary together, playing cribbage every Saturday, singing in barbershop quartets together. Extraordinary, funny, loving men, both of them. And married to COMPLETE HARRIDANS. I love both my grandmothers, as grandmothers, and they're fabulous, wacky women, but I recognize that as wives and mothers they are both just a teency bit hellish.

*Raises mead horn, shouts HAIL, drinks*

And a boast. Despite a mind-boggling stream of Every Annoying Person in the World in the shop this week, I managed to design no fewer than three new necklaces that are rather fab.

HAIL *drinks*

And an extra toast to women with vague bi-curiosity and too much blood in their alcohol stream.

*HAIL!*

bj

 

[Anschul]

Hi beautiful. You're looking lovely in your new hat.

I could absolutely use some shaking up. Mr. Ex is making my kids' life a misery, railing at them (esp. the younger one) for wanting to have a relationship with their mom and "that boyfriend." And this is over four years since I've left, months since the divorce was final. He screams at my daughter (the one who tries so hard and just made honor roll) because she likes to talk to me, just talk to me! I'm so sick of it. And if I try to help her, he just dumps on her more. Got any suggestions?

It's too long a story to go into here, but I will soon tell you the story of my divorce and my (now 25) son, and the shit his mother put him through. But suffice it to say for now, my advice is to take the high road. Children learn what you show them, not what you tell them. My son came out the other end just fine. Later on tonight, perhaps, when I have some time to sit down and compose, I will tell you the story. It is ugly, ugly, ugly, but has a happy ending. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!!!!! We are all here to support you!!!

Let them see him for who he is on their own while at the same time being a constant presence in their lives. Easier said than done, of course.

Hi Sara. I don't know you, but the outpouring of love today tells me I ought to. BJ or Angeline can fill you in on who I am. I am so pleased you're here, judging by the outpouring. I hope you stay. Folks, Key Lime pies and one round of Mojitos in Sara's honor!!

And BJ, please, keep a little Laphroaig 16, some Bushmill's 16, and the always important Anejo Patron in the cabinet for me.

A huge squeeze and a couple of nips for UYS.

Keep it real, Sis. She is depending on YOU!! I'll be back much later with a story.

* ...off to dancing school for "pre-recital" photos, yet another rip-off by the &#$@#$&$@# dance school... (grumbles as he leaves) *

 

[unpredictablebijou]

It's too long a story to go into here, but I will soon tell you the story of my divorce and my (now 25) son, and the shit his mother put him through. But suffice it to say for now, my advice is to take the high road. Children learn what you show them, not what you tell them. My son came out the other end just fine. Later on tonight, perhaps, when I have some time to sit down and compose, I will tell you the story. It is ugly, ugly, ugly, but has a happy ending. TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!!!!! We are all here to support you!!!




Hi Sara. I don't know you, but the outpouring of love today tells me I ought to. BJ or Angeline can fill you in on who I am. I am so pleased you're here, judging by the outpouring. I hope you stay. Folks, Key Lime pies and one round of Mojitos in Sara's honor!!

And BJ, please, keep a little Laphroaig 16, some Bushmill's 16, and the always important Anejo Patron in the cabinet for me.

A huge squeeze and a couple of nips for UYS.

Keep it real, Sis. She is depending on YOU!! I'll be back much later with a story.

* ...off to dancing school for "pre-recital" photos, yet another rip-off by the &#$@#$&$@# dance school... (grumbles as he leaves) *

Sara.... our fabulous Chefzilla. Cheffington, this is Sara, Grand Nymph of Nymphomania.

She's quite nice. I'm her evil twin. And we both sing Joplin when we get this much single malt into us.

bj

 

[Sara Crewe]

Hi Sara. I don't know you, but the outpouring of love today tells me I ought to. BJ or Angeline can fill you in on who I am. I am so pleased you're here, judging by the outpouring. I hope you stay. Folks, Key Lime pies and one round of Mojitos in Sara's honor!!

And BJ, please, keep a little Laphroaig 16, some Bushmill's 16, and the always important Anejo Patron in the cabinet for me.

A huge squeeze and a couple of nips for UYS.

Keep it real, Sis. She is depending on YOU!! I'll be back much later with a story.

* ...off to dancing school for "pre-recital" photos, yet another rip-off by the &#$@#$&$@# dance school... (grumbles as he leaves) *

Funny, how in one post, you can decide you like someone. You were smart about Ange's challenges, lovely in your welcome of me even though I am a stranger to you AND more importantly...I have a daughter who dances...competitively...I FEEL your pain, my friend.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Sara.... our fabulous Chefzilla. Cheffington, this is Sara, Grand Nymph of Nymphomania.

She's quite nice. I'm her evil twin. And we both sing Joplin when we get this much single malt into us.

bj

Yeah, that's me. Although I would have gone with weird or quirky as my primary labels.

Cheffington, huh? I like him. Speaking of food (which we weren't --I just lack focus) I made a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate bundt cake today. I will admit that I made the bundt cake largely because of the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Is it wrong that I giggled the whole time I was stirring? I have to bring them to work tomorrow.

Oddly my kids watched me wistfully while I was drizzling the one cake with chocolate and sighed and said how lucky my class was. I pinched both of them and said, "I'm YOUR Mom!! I think they might think you were lucky in the food department, ya turkies!!"

Bj, let's du-et!!

 

[RhymeSmith]

...I'm her evil twin...

Hello Sara. Any twin of Beej is a friend of mine.

And Beej... I'm with the Küchemeister on the Laphroaig...

 

[champagne1982]

Well, a toast: Hail to the educators among us! Welcome back to the realm of naughtiness after slogging through a semester of ill-composed essay answers and theories full of holes in their science projects. Here's to you!

a boast: I rawk. I trick dogs into getting into bathtubs and then clean both them and the room in one fell swoop.

a roast: There's a pork leg in the freezer, it's been too warm around here to cook it, though.

Love yas all...

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Yeah, that's me. Although I would have gone with weird or quirky as my primary labels.

Cheffington, huh? I like him. Speaking of food (which we weren't --I just lack focus) I made a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and dark chocolate bundt cake today. I will admit that I made the bundt cake largely because of the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Is it wrong that I giggled the whole time I was stirring? I have to bring them to work tomorrow.

Oddly my kids watched me wistfully while I was drizzling the one cake with chocolate and sighed and said how lucky my class was. I pinched both of them and said, "I'm YOUR Mom!! I think they might think you were lucky in the food department, ya turkies!!"

Bj, let's du-et!!

You be Janis, I'll be Leonard Cohen. I hear they did a du-et once.


It is never wrong to giggle while cooking, unless you're considering poisoning someone. Then it's best to be a bit more subtle.


And we're all about food talk in here. It is a bistro, after all, and we even have a head chef now, and fabulous cooks like Angeline to chip in.

Hello Sara. Any twin of Beej is a friend of mine.

And Beej... I'm with the Küchemeister on the Laphroaig...

Oh, the Laphroaig is a staple, of course. What year and how do you like it?

bj

eta: Champie, well done! Bring that roast to the shop. It's nice and cool here, and there's a storm blowing in. We need to hole up with some supplies. Let's see... scotch... duct tape... meat... chocolate syrup...

 

[Sara Crewe]

Hello Sara. Any twin of Beej is a friend of mine.

And Beej... I'm with the Küchemeister on the Laphroaig...

Nice to meet you RhymeSmith!


Thanks for the toast, Champ. You're right---it'll take weeks to stop the commas from splicing me through the heart while I sleep.


I am too brain dead to toast, roast or *checks to see what third thing was* oh yeah--boast! I'll just drink and watch. And sing.

 

[Sara Crewe]

You be Janis, I'll be Leonard Cohen. I hear they did a du-et once.


It is never wrong to giggle while cooking, unless you're considering poisoning someone. Then it's best to be a bit more subtle.


And we're all about food talk in here. It is a bistro, after all, and we even have a head chef now, and fabulous cooks like Angeline to chip in.



Oh, the Laphroaig is a staple, of course. What year and how do you like it?

bj

eta: Champie, well done! Bring that roast to the shop. It's nice and cool here, and there's a storm blowing in. We need to hole up with some supplies. Let's see... scotch... duct tape... meat... chocolate syrup...

Duct tape? You keepin' the rain out or people in? If it's the latter can I pull it off them quick. I love that yelping sound.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

If I don't go next door and get some food before the storm hits, I'm going to be a very drenched puppy at dinner. So I'm off for a bit.

Keep up this Thing, y'all - it has great therapeutic properties, I promise.

bj

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Duct tape? You keepin' the rain out or people in? If it's the latter can I pull it off them quick. I love that yelping sound.

Is it time to revive the Duct Tape thread?

 

[Sara Crewe]

Is it time to revive the Duct Tape thread?

Okay. Just as long as we can blame it on you. I am generous with the blame. I have a giving nature.