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Our turn to troll

It really sucks. And worse, the guy used a vanity publisher to inflict it on the unsuspecting public.

Actually I just figured we could use a good laugh. :D
 
The first Susan heard about it was when Ron’s red F-150 pulled up in the driveway. She watched him get out and amble up to the door with the imposing presence his bulk always generated in the opposite sex. At 6’ 2” and 240 lbs, Ron Westlake was a handsome hunk of a man, respected by women, deferred to by men.
He knocked on the door and Susan opened it.
“Hi Ron,” she said. “What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to talk to you Sue, if I could.”
“Sure, come on in,” Sue replied, opening the screen door.
Ron came through to the kitchen and sat down at the table. He was grinning.
“Care for a beer?” Sue asked.
“Sure,” Ron replied.
Sue was 32 years old, an attractive mother of two, with a happy, open expression that didn’t need makeup to create an impression. She opened the fridge, popped a pull-tab and poured a can of beer into a pilsner glass. She handed it to Ron and leaned back against the kitchen counter.
Click to expand...

Oh.
Dear.
God.
 
rgraham666 said:
It really sucks. And worse, the guy used a vanity publisher to inflict it on the unsuspecting public.

Actually I just figured we could use a good laugh. :D
Click to expand...
Not to worry-- you can read it for free, via the lulu preview feature.

and then click away. :)
 
I posted an alternative for him but told him he can't use it...

Susan looked out the living room window and saw Ron’s red pickup truck pull in the driveway. She watched with excitement as he exited the vehicle and ambled with long deliberate strides up to the door. His imposing presence caused Susan to almost swoon with an emotion that was foreign to her. At six foot two inches and two hundred and forty pounds Ron Westlake was thought to be handsome by women and imposing by other men.

He knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to open. Susan hurried to open the door to see why Ron was here in the middle of the day.

“Hi Ron,” she said. “What can I do for you?” She looked into Ron’s eyes waiting for an answer.

“Well Sue, I’d like to talk to if I could.” Ron appeared a little nervous as he answered.

“Sure, come on in,” Sue replied, opening the screen door to let the good looking man into her house.

Ron followed Susan’s slight form to the kitchen where she indicated that he should sit at the table. The grin on his face belied the nervous feeling in is stomach.

“Care for a beer, Ron?” Sue asked.

“Sure, thanks,” Ron said as he looked at Sue’s slim, attractive body. She was very good looking for a thirty-two year old mother of two. Her face was beautiful even without make up her expression was open and friendly. She went to the fridge to get a can of beer, which she opened and poured into the glass. She set the glass and can down in front of Ron, then leaned back against the counter.

“Thanks,” Ron said taking a sip of the cold amber liquid.

“So, Ron, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”

“I guess John didn’t tell you then?”

“Tell me what Ron?” Sue asked with curiosity.

“Well, at the poker game last night I won you from him for a day.”

“You what?” Susan yelled her face a mask of incredulity. She couldn’t believe her ears. This was the first she had heard of this so called bet. No wonder her husband had left so quickly this morning.

“We were in the final round and the pot was pretty big and John and I were way over our limit. I knew I had the hand won so I put up my truck. John must have thought he had the hand won and in a last desperate effort put you in the pot.”

“He did what?” Sue was now weak in the knees as she stood there leaning against the counter. Thoughts were whirling around in her mind. Thoughts of murder and lust.

“I know, it doesn’t sound real good, but I won the hand. You were in the pot and here I am,” said Ron grinning nervously.

“To collect?” Sue said weakly.

“Yep,” Ron said. “That’s about it.”
Click to expand...
 
I just wish my negative feedback was as polite and informative as Rob's...
x
V
 
. At 6’ 2” and 240 lbs, Ron Westlake was a handsome hunk of a man, respected by women, deferred to by men.

Ah hahaha...
 
The first Susan heard about it was when Ron’s red F-150 pulled up in the driveway. She watched him get out and amble up to the door with the imposing presence his bulk always generated in the opposite sex. At 6’ 2” and 240 lbs, Ron Westlake was a handsome hunk of a man, respected by women, deferred to by men.
He knocked on the door and Susan opened it.
“Hi Ron,” she said. “What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to talk to you Sue, if I could.”
“Sure, come on in,” Sue replied, opening the screen door.
Ron came through to the kitchen and sat down at the table. He was grinning.
“Care for a beer?” Sue asked.
“Sure,” Ron replied.
Sue was 32 years old, an attractive mother of two, with a happy, open expression that didn’t need makeup to create an impression. She opened the fridge, popped a pull-tab and poured a can of beer into a pilsner glass. She handed it to Ron and leaned back against the kitchen counter, arms folded under her 36DD breasts.
Click to expand...
starrkers said:
Oh.
Dear.
God.
Click to expand...

I'll say. :rolleyes: But I fixed it for him. :)
 
you guys don't think your shit stinks?

I like the authors reply:

So far I've had two commentators say they can write better smut than I can. Great, buddies, go to it. Seems to me it's a lot easier to carp about something than to do it yourself.

Here's Mr 36,000+ posts, a guy who's never turned his critical eye on his AH friends work (they all get 5's), picking on some poor guy who's doing his best.

Now I understand why you're presently the only LITEROTICAN on the boss's ignore list.

Gabrielle L.

...alone in SoBe...running ScouriesWorld while the boss is out sailing...
 
TrulyRedBeauty said:
lets see if he posts my comment!
Click to expand...

He did...he also posted the rest of the story. He really needs an editor and the story stops before any sex takes place. It has to be a joke to see how many people are fooled into paying for crap.

Why pay for it when you can get crap for free at so many places on the web??!!??:confused:
 
Last edited:
Zeb_Carter said:
He did...he also posted the rest of the story. He really needs and editor and the story stops before any sex takes place. It has to be a joke to see how many people are fooled into paying for crap.

Why pay for it when you can get crap for free at so many places on the web??!!??:confused:
Click to expand...

that was such a lame story!
 
Here's an update.

The blog that bought this story to my attention has posted a contest announcement.

I've already got an idea for MaryAnn Sends A Message.

Let's some of us enter. I'm sure we can come up with some really nice flash.
 
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