Rainbow.

[ShadowMaiden]

Across the darken skies
the heavens roared in anger
streaks off brilliant light
zig zagging across the open plains

The closeness off air spoke off the
tension all around as if waiting
for the release that was bound
to follow

Then as if on a sigh droplets
like crystal tears began their
descent cleansing as the fell
slowly the soothing sounds faded

A wonderful sight began to emerge
through the velvetry darkness that
once was the seemingly unending
array of dazzling colours melted into
each other and were one stopped
and another started you
could not tell. (C)

 

[WickedEve]

The closeness off air spoke off the?
Is one of those suppose to be of?

Anyway, welcome to the board. Just sharing your poem or do you want feedback?

 

[ShadowMaiden]

Just sharing, i wrote this because off some-one very personal to me went through some dramatic changes which hurt me badly, this was my way off trying to express it at the time.

Maybe i should not off posted, if people are going to pick up on my grammar but i thought that was for poems perhaps i was wrong, though thankyou for the welcome.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Not to worry, many times if someone asks you about your phrasing in a piece, it's not critique, it's that they, like Eve, are just trying to understand your meaning.

I liked the piece. It seemed very personally meaningful.

bj

 

[WickedEve]

Not to worry, many times if someone asks you about your phrasing in a piece, it's not critique, it's that they, like Eve, are just trying to understand your meaning.

I liked the piece. It seemed very personally meaningful.

bj

I thought "spoke off" might be an expression I wasn't familiar with. Oh, well.

 

[bluerains]

showery images craft an array of thought... thanks for sharing