Bistro Bijou

[Anschul]

ahem.

*long pause*

um. I'll be back in a bit. need to make a call on the princess phone.

Well, that's one boi in. And a damn fine one, for this competition. Let's just see where this leads....

My Navajo name is Two Beers. I think you're covered.

Is 5'9" considered tall in your land?

bj

The Amazing A is 6'1''. And she is not the tallest woman I have dated, just the tallest one I have married. It's a thing with me.
And count me in. WTF. I haven't anything better to do.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Well you have all been busy while I was sleeping! All this velcro thing sounds exciting but and it's a big but when I was in a car smash I was fastened to one of those board things with no movement allowed until everything has been xrayed, I was ok for a while but then it got to me and I went into panic mode. I could feel it happening but I couldn't stop it very frightening feeling and ashamed to say was screaming to be set free in the end completely lost control

 

[sassynyc]

Breakfast???????

UYS, I GOT SOME HOMEMEADE CINNAMON ROLLS AND JAVA GOING (soon to be laced with Jameson) IF YOU'D LIKE SOMETHIN' TO SNACK ON

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'm on my way .. bit late for breakfast but we could call it an early brunch

 

[Blicero]

I'm on my way .. bit late for breakfast but we could call it an early brunch

You're an early riser ma'dear: don't soil your petticoats on the way to fetch milk!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

It's 1140 here in England !! but I have nothing against 'early risers' .......

 

[Blicero]

It's 1140 here in England !! but I have nothing against 'early risers' .......

Provided also they're also 'late setters'.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

........ and the beds are well prepared

 

[RhymeSmith]

If I were to make it a single poem, and not due till a few weeks from now, I wonder how many folks I could get to sign on?

OK, I admit it... committments scare the crap out of me, even small ones. This is an aspect of my Dom-ness. When I commit to something, I'm giving up some control, and I don't like that.

Also, deciding to write is not something I usually do, which is why most of my stuff is sentimental. This reminds me of going to the firing range, with an unfamiliar weapon.

All that being said, I also feel compelled to exhibit good sportsmanship, so I guess I'm in. So what will be the theme of this poetic cluster?

All this velcro thing sounds exciting but ... I was ok for a while but then it got to me and I went into panic mode...

Not to worry, sweets. It's not fun for either if it''s not fun for both - at least from my perspective. If we were ever to have a real-life opportunity to play, be assured that you would not be left to lie in panic.

- Rhymesmith

 

[loststar]

the unrequited dream

chances of the moment
lost
gone
not missed
fuel for the fire of my dreams

 

[UnderYourSpell]

If Women Had A Penis

A survey asked women:

"What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"

Here are their actual responses...

"I would walk around and prod my husband all night long with it, whatever he is doing I'll be there prodding him with it."

"I would write my name in the snow."

"I would go into my boss' office and lay it on his desk and say: 'Where is my raise?'"

"I would find my ex-boyfriend, go to bed with him and tell him to roll over and try something new."

"I would want a big one and show it off to everyone."

"I could grab myself in public and not be embarrassed."

"I would not lift the lid on the toilet seat while peeing."

"I would measure it both ways."

"Pee off of a tall building."

"I would speed to the hospital and have it surgically removed."

"I would treat women better with it."

"I would love him, and squeeze him, and play with it all day."

"Demonstrate to my husband and my two sons that it is possible to hit the water and not pee all over everything."

"Pin my husband down and slap him in the face with it."

"I would play with it and then make him roll over into the wet spot."

"Go to an adult store and try out all kinds of stimulants to see what was the best."

"Stand up and jump up and down and watch it swing all around."

"See how many donuts I could carry with it."

"Check out my boyfriends gag reflexes!"

 

[Anschul]

A survey asked women:

"What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"

Here are their actual responses...

"I would walk around and prod my husband all night long with it, whatever he is doing I'll be there prodding him with it."

"I would write my name in the snow."

"I would go into my boss' office and lay it on his desk and say: 'Where is my raise?'"

"I would find my ex-boyfriend, go to bed with him and tell him to roll over and try something new."

"I would want a big one and show it off to everyone."

"I could grab myself in public and not be embarrassed."

"I would not lift the lid on the toilet seat while peeing."

"I would measure it both ways."

"Pee off of a tall building."

"I would speed to the hospital and have it surgically removed."

"I would treat women better with it."

"I would love him, and squeeze him, and play with it all day."

"Demonstrate to my husband and my two sons that it is possible to hit the water and not pee all over everything."

"Pin my husband down and slap him in the face with it."

"I would play with it and then make him roll over into the wet spot."

"Go to an adult store and try out all kinds of stimulants to see what was the best."

"Stand up and jump up and down and watch it swing all around."

"See how many donuts I could carry with it."

"Check out my boyfriends gag reflexes!"

I'd have my hand down my pants all day...oh wait...I already have one, and I do that now.

And yes, Virginia...uh...bj...* did I really mistakenly almost call her "Virgin?"... *I actually wrote a poem called Kansas

 

[RhymeSmith]

...um. I'll be back in a bit. need to make a call on the princess phone...

Anybody seen Beej since last night? Do we need to worrry?

 

[champagne1982]

Anybody seen Beej since last night? Do we need to worrry?

She left a message on the fridge... it might have fallen onto the floor.

Yes, she's out bewitching her coven for their Beltane fire and ceremonies and won't be back until tomorrow at the earliest or once she's recovered, whichever is later I expect.

 

[RhymeSmith]

She left a message on the fridge... it might have fallen onto the floor.

Yes, she's out bewitching her coven for their Beltane fire and ceremonies and won't be back until tomorrow at the earliest or once she's recovered, whichever is later I expect.

Ah... everything's normal then...

 

[Anschul]

Ah... everything's normal then...

Normal? Smithy, you've been here a while. You ought to know better than that!

 

[RhymeSmith]

Normal? Smithy, you've been here a while. You ought to know better than that!

Well... as normal as it gets...

 

[loststar]

bj is just fine I promise
she should be in, in just a little while
beltane was a fabulous affair
a joyous ruckus
but I shall let her tell you all about it
and while it is normal in this neck of the woods
I think it would scare the hell out of some suburbanite "normal" people
hope every one is well

 

[unpredictablebijou]

The Amazing A is 6'1''. And she is not the tallest woman I have dated, just the tallest one I have married. It's a thing with me.
And count me in. WTF. I haven't anything better to do.

So the answer is no, 5'9 actually makes me a midget in your land.

*sigh* sadness.

I could wear really high heels but for various reasons it is NOT a good idea for me to be too far away from the floor.

I'd have my hand down my pants all day...oh wait...I already have one, and I do that now.

And yes, Virginia...uh...bj...* did I really mistakenly almost call her "Virgin?"... *I actually wrote a poem called Kansas

Well for someone who really didn't find himself happy while he was here, you sure are beautifully complimentary, and lovingly accurate, about this place.

That was gorgeous and made me happy. It ought to be the official state poem.

Well... as normal as it gets...

Heh heh.

Being missed. It's always a beautiful surprise. I'm honored.

The Shiny Object summed it up pretty well, actually. Though I doubt our Beltane would scare anyone around here. [oldfartmode] There were years, however, in the distant past, that some Stuff happened. Beltane can get happily scandalous on occasion. There's something about camping and running around in the woods all night that brings out the fey and the feral in certain people. Not me, of course.[/oldfartmode]

I'll let starling tell you about the bull next door that we seemed to have incited. And that's not like it sounds, either.

Oh it's good to be here. Off to catch up on everything.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Starling??? Those are the birds that nest under my roof tiles and squabble on the bird table
Something very odd is happening with me today namely every light bulb I turn on goes pop!! I've just turned the bedroom one on and that has popped too!!

 

[Angeline]

Starling??? Those are the birds that nest under my roof tiles and squabble on the bird table
Something very odd is happening with me today namely every light bulb I turn on goes pop!! I've just turned the bedroom one on and that has popped too!!

And changing them all on the same day pretty well ensures this will happen again, too.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Starling??? Those are the birds that nest under my roof tiles and squabble on the bird table
Something very odd is happening with me today namely every light bulb I turn on goes pop!! I've just turned the bedroom one on and that has popped too!!

And changing them all on the same day pretty well ensures this will happen again, too.

Interesting....


It may be a Beltane side effect. Sorry.

Around here we go through lightbulbs about 4 times as fast as normal. That's not a big deal at home where we can use regular bulbs, but the lighting at the shop is all big fancy things that cost a lot. *sigh* Frikken witches.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

If I have got a surge thing going on here is it a good or a bad thing do you think to be touching ones husband in personal places? On the one hand nothing wrong with a good old surge but on the other I wouldn't want to pop anything!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

If I have got a surge thing going on here is it a good or a bad thing do you think to be touching ones husband in personal places? On the one hand nothing wrong with a good old surge but on the other I wouldn't want to pop anything!

Bad for small electrical devices. Very good for naughty bits.

Go for it. And give us a full report. It's for science.

bj

 

[Homburg]

*snicker*
Yeah, I actually think he was talking more about one's body of work. As a writer, say, or an actor. But you rationalize your deeply evil nature any way you like, sweet cheeks. Who am I to judge, after all?

bj

Bah. I like my interpretation better. By that interpretation I'm evil, and I suck. Booo.

----

I had a very satisfying lunch...

Ah. It's Hom who's that rope artist. I'm a rank amateur, preferring rapid function over form, enabling me to have my victim... er, the object of my affection, that is... more quickly at my complete mercy.

It's a style thing. I enjoy the anticipation. still, with enough study and practice, rapidity can happen. Play around with hojojutsu and you can get positively speedy.

I use padded velcro (industrial strength, of course... did you know that some of that stuff can hold up 300 lbs?) bindings rather than knotted rope. Properly applied, these bindings leave the subject just as helpless as rope. I do enjoy the view though, when a true artist has been at work.

I also enjoy apparati (such as a cross, for instance) that enable me to control the positioning and movement of my subject. With proper suspension devices, it's entirely possible to achieve nearly any position and accessibility mode, and if desirable, do it with a minimum of discomfort.

Not being an artist, I approach the entire binding process as a means to an end: that being absolute control over, and complete helplessness of, the subject. With the right subject, this can be a real libido booster for both of us, even without inflicting any pain.

- Rhymesmith

So you approach bondage the way I approach poetry. Cool.


----

ahem.


*long pause*


um. I'll be back in a bit. need to make a call on the princess phone.

bj

You should've been in ATL this weekend. You would've worn that phone out.

Or I would've.

----

OK, I admit it... committments scare the crap out of me, even small ones. This is an aspect of my Dom-ness. When I commit to something, I'm giving up some control, and I don't like that.

- Rhymesmith

Yup yup.