Distance Domination-Support Thread

[KayKat]

My pleasure hon...as I said I think you are really brave making and standing by your decision. I know how hard it must have been for you to make.

I like your sig btw...so true x

It was hard but it had been coming for a while....I truly do feel better about it all now.

So glad that you like the sig..I have that quote on my myspace page

 

[KayKat]

*checks kay's sig*

nods

Glad that you like to Mis

 

[lil_slave_rose]

wow..lots of changes around here! *waves* hi to everyone. i'd love to give an update on myself, but right now, my bed is calling me. i'm off work tomorrow, i'll post more then. just wanted to say a quick hello and let you all know i'm still alive and kickin

 

[myinnerslut]

less then two days, and i am so keyed up i cant think straight

 

[SubKekiLee]

wow..lots of changes around here! *waves* hi to everyone. i'd love to give an update on myself, but right now, my bed is calling me. i'm off work tomorrow, i'll post more then. just wanted to say a quick hello and let you all know i'm still alive and kickin

yAy! Lil slave rose sighting.. Hope to see you around here soon... HUgs !!

 

[SubKekiLee]

less then two days, and i am so keyed up i cant think straight

MIS

Are you going to VA or is Sir coming to YOU.....

I know how you feel ... Sir is coming to visit real soon about 10 days now and i am already KEYED up.

 

[KayKat]

wow..lots of changes around here! *waves* hi to everyone. i'd love to give an update on myself, but right now, my bed is calling me. i'm off work tomorrow, i'll post more then. just wanted to say a quick hello and let you all know i'm still alive and kickin

Hi there Rose..so good to see you..Hope that you are doing good!!!

 

[KayKat]

less then two days, and i am so keyed up i cant think straight

Hope it is a wonderful time Mis!

 

[Homburg]

A day left. Yup, I'm in the same boat. Can't think straight.

So why did my mother choose today to freak out completely, yell at viv (on her birthday) until she was in tears, yell at me, and scream at my dad? What the fuck?

I am SO fucking tired of my mother ruining holidays. And I am PISSED that she made viv cry like that. Nobody fucks with my gal, not even my own mother.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

A day left. Yup, I'm in the same boat. Can't think straight.

So why did my mother choose today to freak out completely, yell at viv (on her birthday) until she was in tears, yell at me, and scream at my dad? What the fuck?

I am SO fucking tired of my mother ruining holidays. And I am PISSED that she made viv cry like that. Nobody fucks with my gal, not even my own mother.

awesome that there is only one day left and since i haven't been around in a while i just wanna say congrats to all of you. that is so cool, and it sounds like you guys have already hit off really really well. ! i'm sorry about your mom freaking out like that. that sucks! viv's bday is today? mine too!! happy bday to us

 

[KayKat]

Happy Birthday Rose!!! Hope you have a good one!

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Happy Birthday Rose!!! Hope you have a good one!

thank you! i slept most of my bday away lol...

 

[KayKat]

thank you! i slept most of my bday away lol...

LOL...well at least you got some rest

 

[intothewoods]

A day left. Yup, I'm in the same boat. Can't think straight.

So why did my mother choose today to freak out completely, yell at viv (on her birthday) until she was in tears, yell at me, and scream at my dad? What the fuck?

I am SO fucking tired of my mother ruining holidays. And I am PISSED that she made viv cry like that. Nobody fucks with my gal, not even my own mother.

Just wanted to say sorry about your mother. I'd be pissed too. In my opinion, navigating the relationship with inlaws/parents and your immediate family is one of the toughest challenges to a marriage. Although I'm all for respecting one's parents, your mother has to understand that is a line she can't cross. Your immediate family is sacred.

 

[Homburg]

Just wanted to say sorry about your mother. I'd be pissed too. In my opinion, navigating the relationship with inlaws/parents and your immediate family is one of the toughest challenges to a marriage. Although I'm all for respecting one's parents, your mother has to understand that is a line she can't cross. Your immediate family is sacred.

Pretty much, ITW. This is difficult for me to deal with, as, honestly, it requires me to admit that my mom is emotionally abusive and manipulative, and that I'm tired of it. Really tired of it.

She said "I haven't been your mother for years now." My response was "Well, okay then" and I officially gave up caring at that point. It's fucking hard to look at your own mother and admit that she is toxic, but that is the point I'm at.

I refuse to let it get me down. It' sbeen years in coming, and, more importantly, I have a helluva a lot of good in my life. And I got a letter today from MIS (who I will be seeing tomorrow!) that made me smile and laugh sincerely, and my oldest daughter got into the full gifted program, and will be attending the intel program at the TAG school in the region next year. I'm so proud of her I could pop. My mother's bullshit is honestly less important than that.

 

[myinnerslut]

less then a day left. its gotten to the point where i am so excited i could burst.

i have officially lost control of the english language

camera does not = collar. fruedian slip, much??

and he is coming up to visit me.

 

[intothewoods]

Pretty much, ITW. This is difficult for me to deal with, as, honestly, it requires me to admit that my mom is emotionally abusive and manipulative, and that I'm tired of it. Really tired of it.

She said "I haven't been your mother for years now." My response was "Well, okay then" and I officially gave up caring at that point. It's fucking hard to look at your own mother and admit that she is toxic, but that is the point I'm at.

I refuse to let it get me down. It' sbeen years in coming, and, more importantly, I have a helluva a lot of good in my life. And I got a letter today from MIS (who I will be seeing tomorrow!) that made me smile and laugh sincerely, and my oldest daughter got into the full gifted program, and will be attending the intel program at the TAG school in the region next year. I'm so proud of her I could pop. My mother's bullshit is honestly less important than that.

I think all you can do is set the ground rules for your house. She can follow them and visit, or not. It's her choice. And you can say, I love you mom, and I want you to visit, but in order to visit my home, you need to not yell at my wife, or me in front of my kids, or whatever it is.

 

[SubKekiLee]

happy Birthday Rose.. .

 

[Homburg]

I think all you can do is set the ground rules for your house. She can follow them and visit, or not. It's her choice. And you can say, I love you mom, and I want you to visit, but in order to visit my home, you need to not yell at my wife, or me in front of my kids, or whatever it is.

Yup, I'm thinking something like that. Though something more along the lines of "Don't talk to me unless you are apologising".

 

[catalina_francisco]

This is difficult for me to deal with, as, honestly, it requires me to admit that my mom is emotionally abusive and manipulative, and that I'm tired of it. Really tired of it.

She said "I haven't been your mother for years now." My response was "Well, okay then" and I officially gave up caring at that point. It's fucking hard to look at your own mother and admit that she is toxic, but that is the point I'm at.

I refuse to let it get me down. It' sbeen years in coming, and, more importantly, I have a helluva a lot of good in my life.

It is a big step when you get to that point and make a valid and conscious decision to move beyond it, but it is all up from there and for me at least, like taking off fogged up glasses and seeing the reality more so than hoping for and believing something magical will happen to make them the mother you wish they were. What has been even better for me is my sisters have also begun to see the light and we are slowly attempting to repair a lot of the damage my mother has done to us and our relationships with each other. I hope some of it will be repairable while we are still living, but I fear a lot will be difficult to stop coming to the surface when we have a rough day and something triggers us....old habits etc., die hard.

It is difficult listening to my mother now as she has realised something has dramatically changed so has taken on the victim role to the hilt to try and manipulate us and continually bemoans she does not understand why things are the way they are, why she has to suffer so, when all she ever did was try to do the best for everybody....I have become very good at turning instantly deaf and forcefully changing the subject, or if all else fails, coming up with a reason why I have to hang up quickly. It isn't perfect, but the healing continues...hope it goes well for you too.

Catalina

 

[Millificent]

I'm going to miss you...

I know you will both have a fantastic time!

 

[myinnerslut]

I'm going to miss you...

I know you will both have a fantastic time!

this is a really tough situation. one of us will always be mising at least one other, untill we are all together.

 

[intothewoods]

Yup, I'm thinking something like that. Though something more along the lines of "Don't talk to me unless you are apologising".

Well, but that's about you, and then it's a battle. You have no control over her behavior, and it puts the onus back on her to say look, these are the rules of my house, for my kids, my wife, our family. Everyone follows these rules. You, Mom, can set the rules in your house. You have the choice to comply, or not come. And I have the same choice when I visit you.

It is a big step when you get to that point and make a valid and conscious decision to move beyond it, but it is all up from there and for me at least, like taking off fogged up glasses and seeing the reality more so than hoping for and believing something magical will happen to make them the mother you wish they were. What has been even better for me is my sisters have also begun to see the light and we are slowly attempting to repair a lot of the damage my mother has done to us and our relationships with each other. I hope some of it will be repairable while we are still living, but I fear a lot will be difficult to stop coming to the surface when we have a rough day and something triggers us....old habits etc., die hard.

It is difficult listening to my mother now as she has realised something has dramatically changed so has taken on the victim role to the hilt to try and manipulate us and continually bemoans she does not understand why things are the way they are, why she has to suffer so, when all she ever did was try to do the best for everybody....I have become very good at turning instantly deaf and forcefully changing the subject, or if all else fails, coming up with a reason why I have to hang up quickly. It isn't perfect, but the healing continues...hope it goes well for you too.

Catalina

Excellent post, and it's what I hear from a lot of people who have had to make similar decisions.

 

[Millificent]

this is a really tough situation. one of us will always be mising at least one other, untill we are all together.

*nods*

I can't wait until May

 

[EmpressFi]

this is a really tough situation. one of us will always be mising at least one other, untill we are all together.

yep.. that is one of the hardest parts about being poly and in an LDR... someone's always lonely.. someone's always missing someone