Fucking Marines, no respect for the law!!!

Betticus

FigDaddy!
Joined
Apr 9, 2004
Posts
12,240
Top this for a speeding ticket

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style:

----------------------------------------------------

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position.

The pilot also suggests you cover your mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very high tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your concern. Semper Fi.
 
As a former squid, I have only one comment regarding this story:

Go, Leathernecks!​
 
i dont understand the competition and dislike between the branches of service (or the service schools)

air force academy doesnt like west point

navy apparently doesnt like marines.

air force isnt fond of the army

dont we all have the same goal, go team usa?

or am i just niave?
 
i dont understand the competition and dislike between the branches of service (or the service schools)

air force academy doesnt like west point

navy apparently doesnt like marines.

air force isnt fond of the army

dont we all have the same goal, go team usa?

or am i just niave?

The service academies are rivals. No different than Ohio State and Michigan. Or Auburn/Alabama.

There is ribbing between the services but for the most part not true hatred.
 
i dont understand the competition and dislike between the branches of service (or the service schools)

air force academy doesnt like west point

navy apparently doesnt like marines.

air force isnt fond of the army

dont we all have the same goal, go team usa?

or am i just niave?

Yes, we were/are part of the same team. To be a soldier, sailor, marine or airman you have this "I'm invincible attitude" and that all others who don't do the same job as you are inferior. Having said that, all the various branches of the armed forces (to include the Coast Guard) constantly practice joint operations and try to integrate their tactics with others.

I can also say with high confidence that should one member of the military need rescue, members of the other branches would brave hell and high water to take care of that individual.

In a nutshell mis, its just a pissing contest to see who has the biggest dick.. and we all know that the Army has the biggest ones of all. The rivalry, while "serious" is very good natured in most respects.
 
i dont understand the competition and dislike between the branches of service (or the service schools)

air force academy doesnt like west point

navy apparently doesnt like marines.

air force isnt fond of the army

dont we all have the same goal, go team usa?

or am i just niave?

Air Force rules, all other branches drool! We've got the hottest women, the coolest officers, and our planes go really fast. That is all.
 
In The Head

So,

Out at sea there was a salior and a Marine in the head at the same time. They were doing that thing guys do, of course not looking down, little nods of acknowledgement but no prolonged eye contact. The sailor finishes and tucks his pecker back into his pants, zips & readjusts & heads to the sink to wash his hands. As he's doing this the Marine fiishes, rolls his schlong into the cami's that never seem to have enough room for him, readjusts and startd to head out the door.

The sailor, looking at the Marine in the mirror says "You know, at the Naval Academy they teach us to wash our hands after taking a leak."

"Yeah?" says the Devil Dog. "Well at TBS they teach us not to piss on our hands."
 
i dont understand the competition and dislike between the branches of service (or the service schools)

air force academy doesnt like west point

navy apparently doesnt like marines.

air force isnt fond of the army

dont we all have the same goal, go team usa?

or am i just niave?

There is definitely competition (and yes, most of us assumed cocks were at the center of it somehow.) Where I used to live we had a Ranger base in the city, Army base just south of us, to the north a Naval base plus the Marine boot camp. Every weekend you were surrounded by high and tights. The clubs closed at 3. By 3:15 the four lane major roadway downtown was closed because of the brawl between land and sea. Of course what all of us civilians never could figure out is how they knew who was who.
 
There is definitely competition (and yes, most of us assumed cocks were at the center of it somehow.) Where I used to live we had a Ranger base in the city, Army base just south of us, to the north a Naval base plus the Marine boot camp. Every weekend you were surrounded by high and tights. The clubs closed at 3. By 3:15 the four lane major roadway downtown was closed because of the brawl between land and sea. Of course what all of us civilians never could figure out is how they knew who was who.
In a Japanese town that shall remain nameless (because I was only there for 3 days, almost 40 years ago - maybe Osaka? That sort of sounds familiar.), there was a U.S. Navy base (complete with sea-going bellhops {Marines} and naval personnel), and an U.S. Army base. One of the nights I was there, I prudently sat on a barstool in a quiet bar and watched a major-league rumble in the not-quiet bar across the street. It started out Navy v. Army, then some Marines jumped in and helped kick Army's butt. When all the army personnel were down, the sailors and the jarheads looked at each other, laughed, and proceeded to beat the crap out of each other, until the SPs (Shore Patrol - navy cops) and MPs (Military Police - army cops) showed up. The SPs and MPs appeared to have NO inter-service rivalry - they kicked ass on everyone who was still standing without favor for service branch.
 
It's been my personal observation that any officer who had ever attended the air force academy was an insanely obtuse prima donna asshole. I'm not kidding.

I've met asshole officers from all branches but by far it seems that the most down to earth get shit done ones have been marines. All lieutenants are automatically dipshits.
 
Air Force rules, all other branches drool! We've got the hottest women, the coolest officers, and our planes go really fast. That is all.

There is only ONE TRUE combat branch in the military - the infantry be they Army or Marines. Everybody else is there to support them.

(for the record, I was a tanker)
 
There is definitely competition (and yes, most of us assumed cocks were at the center of it somehow.) Where I used to live we had a Ranger base in the city, Army base just south of us, to the north a Naval base plus the Marine boot camp. Every weekend you were surrounded by high and tights. The clubs closed at 3. By 3:15 the four lane major roadway downtown was closed because of the brawl between land and sea. Of course what all of us civilians never could figure out is how they knew who was who.

Oh that's easy --

the sailors smelled like bilge pumps,

the Marines smelled like they'd just has their weekly Saturday night bath

and the Army smelled like aftershave - we have higher hygeine standards.

Hope that helps. :D
 
It's been my personal observation that any officer who had ever attended the air force academy was an insanely obtuse prima donna asshole. I'm not kidding.

It's a well known fact that that USAF pilots have big watches and little dicks. I can vouch for the watch part as I've had to work with them a time or two. I'll let the subbies check the other part out for me.

All lieutenants are automatically dipshits.

Think of them as entry level management. That's why they are assigned a platoon sargeant and not the other way around.
 
There is only ONE TRUE combat branch in the military - the infantry be they Army or Marines. Everybody else is there to support them.

(for the record, I was a tanker)

You want to fight? Ok, 2700 Nuclear bombs just fell on your head from our Ohio class SSBN's. Now we are going into port to reload. Don't go anywhere.
 
You want to fight? Ok, 2700 Nuclear bombs just fell on your head from our Ohio class SSBN's. Now we are going into port to reload. Don't go anywhere.

Hey even after you nuke the hell out of someplace, you still need grunts to go in and occupy this place.
 
Back
Top