These things change us

[just pet]

The power of this thread never diminishes

 

[Jackotheshadows]

A beautiful story...I can see how this changed your life

My life changing moment came when I gave birth to my beautiful son Michael almost 24 years ago, for one hour I had the greatest gift of all to hold him in my arms & wisper a lifetime of hopes to him ... I watched the pained scrunched up face turn peacefull as he was released from his misery. People said how sorry they were that I had to go thru this...I had no words at the time but as time went on I knew I never was and never would be sorry that I "went thru" what I did, if I hadn't I never would have had my Son...even if it was only for an hour..............................

It's a terrible thing, to be in that crucible. Either it breaks you, or alters you on a basic level, so that you never see the world the same way again.

 

[Queersetti]

It's not really meant to be a teaser just a statement. Once I get to know you better perhaps.

If there is anyone here that you can trust to listen to you with an open heart, it's Just Pet.

 

[elib257]

This thread is just awe-inspiring.



One of the main incidents in my life happened when I was about 13. I'd spent the day at the nursing home where my Mum was matron. It was a special day because there was a visit from a local war museum and they'd brought lots of artifacts to show the residents.

One of the residents (a personal favourite) had had alzheimers for about 6 years, 3 of which he hadn't spoken a word. The objects were being passed around and a lot of memories were being shared - it was a special day for that alone.

Five of the objects were so strange that there was a little quiz going on to remember what they were used for. All of the objects had been remembered and (where possible) tried out, bar one. It was a little bigger than a credit card and as thin, made out of bronze but with half circles of varying sizes cut out of the sides. Nobody could remember or think what it was for but when it was passed to this particular resident a tear fell out of the corner of his eye. He stared at it for what seemed like hours and slowly everybody turned to watch him rubbing it and remembering.

The lady from the museum then explained that it was used to cup the buttons on a military uniform to protect the material underneath from polish. He had, as most of the men there had, served in the army.

I don't know what exactly it taught me about life in general but I know that it changed me. Sort of the power of memory or still waters run deep.




Another shorter story is when my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. My Mum rang into school ahead of me going in to make sure the teachers knew that my behaviour might not be rational. When I walked into my tutorial class that very same day everybody was silent and there was a card on my desk. Every teacher and student in my class had written their names in it - no personal messages just names. I cried. It made me realise that sometimes it doesn't take a lot to comfort somebody - just being there is enough.




On a happier note there have been other times with my friends and family that make me smile. The moments when you realise that having fun and laughing with the people you love is magical. It's overwhelming.



Many thanks for this thread. It's amazing.

 

[just pet]

If there is anyone here that you can trust to listen to you with an open heart, it's Just Pet.

Aw, honey

 

[just pet]

This thread is just awe-inspiring.



One of the main incidents in my life happened when I was about 13. I'd spent the day at the nursing home where my Mum was matron. It was a special day because there was a visit from a local war museum and they'd brought lots of artifacts to show the residents.

One of the residents (a personal favourite) had had alzheimers for about 6 years, 3 of which he hadn't spoken a word. The objects were being passed around and a lot of memories were being shared - it was a special day for that alone.

Five of the objects were so strange that there was a little quiz going on to remember what they were used for. All of the objects had been remembered and (where possible) tried out, bar one. It was a little bigger than a credit card and as thin, made out of bronze but with half circles of varying sizes cut out of the sides. Nobody could remember or think what it was for but when it was passed to this particular resident a tear fell out of the corner of his eye. He stared at it for what seemed like hours and slowly everybody turned to watch him rubbing it and remembering.

The lady from the museum then explained that it was used to cup the buttons on a military uniform to protect the material underneath from polish. He had, as most of the men there had, served in the army.

I don't know what exactly it taught me about life in general but I know that it changed me. Sort of the power of memory or still waters run deep.




Another shorter story is when my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. My Mum rang into school ahead of me going in to make sure the teachers knew that my behaviour might not be rational. When I walked into my tutorial class that very same day everybody was silent and there was a card on my desk. Every teacher and student in my class had written their names in it - no personal messages just names. I cried. It made me realise that sometimes it doesn't take a lot to comfort somebody - just being there is enough.




On a happier note there have been other times with my friends and family that make me smile. The moments when you realise that having fun and laughing with the people you love is magical. It's overwhelming.



Many thanks for this thread. It's amazing.

Powerful
Just powerful

Thank you

 

[HB1965]

If there is anyone here that you can trust to listen to you with an open heart, it's Just Pet.

That's good to know. She sounds like a very caring and compassionate person. I like to think that I am that as well, but it's hard sometimes to do for myself.

 

[pleasantville]

This past summer my Mom was put into the CICU at a local hospital. She developed Acute Respiratory Distress Disease. Her final week she was in a medically induced coma. I knew she would not come back and became the support for the family. She had three nurses throughout the week that would take care of her. All three would stay well past their designated final hour to help her and help out my family. The last 24 hours both my Dad and I had already been told that nothing could be done and a decision had to be made. When we decided it was best for Mom to let go the nurses then became counselor's to us. They were incredible and almost part of the family. I asked how they "handle" this aspect of their job and they all said with a family like yours it is easy. After my Mom passed they cleaned her up and made sure we all had time with her. I always respected nurses but this crew was incredible. I read through this post and felt the need to respond. I hope all of you are doing well.

 

[velvet_crush]

Then you're very fortunate to have learned such a valuable lesson without all of the angst/pain/sorrow/hindsight that usually comes before.

Yes, I am. It's taken me a while to get here. Thanks.

A beautiful story...I can see how this changed your life

My life changing moment came when I gave birth to my beautiful son Michael almost 24 years ago, for one hour I had the greatest gift of all to hold him in my arms & wisper a lifetime of hopes to him ... I watched the pained scrunched up face turn peacefull as he was released from his misery. People said how sorry they were that I had to go thru this...I had no words at the time but as time went on I knew I never was and never would be sorry that I "went thru" what I did, if I hadn't I never would have had my Son...even if it was only for an hour..............................

Oh. My heart just broke and cried. Your perspective is a blessing and wonderful.

 

[just pet]

That's good to know. She sounds like a very caring and compassionate person. I like to think that I am that as well, but it's hard sometimes to do for myself.

We work as a team because it is more than one person can do alone, whether supporting yourself emotionally, or others
It is easier to forgive others than yourself
Easier to see the true value of others than yourself
Being surrounded by those who love us, whom we love, gives perspective... and solace... that place to just be

 

[Yes_YEs_YES]

It's a terrible thing, to be in that crucible. Either it breaks you, or alters you on a basic level, so that you never see the world the same way again.

Thank you...and no, I never looked at things the same way again, and it's made me deal with problems and setbacks in such a different way, it made me a stronger person I know.

 

[just pet]

This past summer my Mom was put into the CICU at a local hospital. She developed Acute Respiratory Distress Disease. Her final week she was in a medically induced coma. I knew she would not come back and became the support for the family. She had three nurses throughout the week that would take care of her. All three would stay well past their designated final hour to help her and help out my family. The last 24 hours both my Dad and I had already been told that nothing could be done and a decision had to be made. When we decided it was best for Mom to let go the nurses then became counselor's to us. They were incredible and almost part of the family. I asked how they "handle" this aspect of their job and they all said with a family like yours it is easy. After my Mom passed they cleaned her up and made sure we all had time with her. I always respected nurses but this crew was incredible. I read through this post and felt the need to respond. I hope all of you are doing well.

I am so glad you did
Those tough decisions
Always the right one when made from a place of love and respect

 

[just pet]

Thank you...and no, I never looked at things the same way again, and it's made me deal with problems and setbacks in such a different way, it made me a stronger person I know.

Remarkable
It amazes me how much we can endure, what we are able to survive
Yet if we were forewarned, able to prepare, we would never be able to bear it
We would stop living, to avoid the pain

 

[Yes_YEs_YES]

Yes, I am. It's taken me a while to get here. Thanks.



Oh. My heart just broke and cried. Your perspective is a blessing and wonderful.

Thank you so much


This thread has some of the most heartwarming responses on it I have ever read...each of everyone of them makes you take a look at things in a totally different way....

 

[pleasantville]

I am so glad you did
Those tough decisions
Always the right one when made from a place of love and respect

Holding onto her was not a possibility. Her organs helped out 5 different people, she was able to say goodbye to each of us prior to slipping into a coma. I have never doubted the decision. My heart goes out to each of you that have participated in this thread. Truly amazing!

 

[HB1965]

We work as a team because it is more than one person can do alone, whether supporting yourself emotionally, or others
It is easier to forgive others than yourself
Easier to see the true value of others than yourself
Being surrounded by those who love us, whom we love, gives perspective... and solace... that place to just be

Thank you.

 

[just pet]

I am overwhelmed
Again

Thank you all

 

[velvet_crush]

Thank you so much


This thread has some of the most heartwarming responses on it I have ever read...each of everyone of them makes you take a look at things in a totally different way....

Your welcome.

I agree. I don't want to say I "like" - that isn't the right word - but I guess I appreciate that people can share personal stories - it gives me new perspective. Reminders. A check in on grateful, if you will.

 

[elib257]

Thank you so much


This thread has some of the most heartwarming responses on it I have ever read...each of everyone of them makes you take a look at things in a totally different way....

I agree completely.

I read your post when it was quoted in somebody else's first. Your strength and courage is inspiring.

 

[Yes_YEs_YES]

Remarkable
It amazes me how much we can endure, what we are able to survive
Yet if we were forewarned, able to prepare, we would never be able to bear it
We would stop living, to avoid the pain

I know, it is amazing isn't it? And your right, we probably would of all run the other way had we known what was in store for us. One split second can change your life forever and the way you look at things. I know from what I have experienced with my Michael has given me alot of strength to accept things with ease now, I have been diagnosed with MS and lupus (both totally manageable) and can remember being given both diagnosis and pretty much just letting them roll off of me.......I've lived thru the best and the worst within an hour...after that everything else has been a breeze

 

[Angeline]

This thread is just awe-inspiring.



One of the main incidents in my life happened when I was about 13. I'd spent the day at the nursing home where my Mum was matron. It was a special day because there was a visit from a local war museum and they'd brought lots of artifacts to show the residents.

One of the residents (a personal favourite) had had alzheimers for about 6 years, 3 of which he hadn't spoken a word. The objects were being passed around and a lot of memories were being shared - it was a special day for that alone.

Five of the objects were so strange that there was a little quiz going on to remember what they were used for. All of the objects had been remembered and (where possible) tried out, bar one. It was a little bigger than a credit card and as thin, made out of bronze but with half circles of varying sizes cut out of the sides. Nobody could remember or think what it was for but when it was passed to this particular resident a tear fell out of the corner of his eye. He stared at it for what seemed like hours and slowly everybody turned to watch him rubbing it and remembering.

The lady from the museum then explained that it was used to cup the buttons on a military uniform to protect the material underneath from polish. He had, as most of the men there had, served in the army.

I don't know what exactly it taught me about life in general but I know that it changed me. Sort of the power of memory or still waters run deep.




Another shorter story is when my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. My Mum rang into school ahead of me going in to make sure the teachers knew that my behaviour might not be rational. When I walked into my tutorial class that very same day everybody was silent and there was a card on my desk. Every teacher and student in my class had written their names in it - no personal messages just names. I cried. It made me realise that sometimes it doesn't take a lot to comfort somebody - just being there is enough.




On a happier note there have been other times with my friends and family that make me smile. The moments when you realise that having fun and laughing with the people you love is magical. It's overwhelming.



Many thanks for this thread. It's amazing.

Your lovely story reminded me of one more. When I was in my last year of high school, my sister (who was 4 years older than me) died suddenly. Of course, people had lots of questions about what happened and why and of course it was excrutiatingly painful for me or anyone in my family to try to answer them. I was out of school for a week and was dreading going back and being the object of scrutiny at a time when I least wanted it. But I did go back and could not get over how kind and discreet virtually all my classmates were, Years later, I found out that my English teacher--a really wonderful guy, but just another teacher to me at the time--had gone to our class and to my homeroom and talked to the students about compassion and how the kindest thing anyone could do for me at that point was to be there for me but not pry into what was very difficult for me and my family then. He never said a word to me about it, and I only found out--as I said--years later, when an old school friend mentioned it. When I am feeling low and embittered about the world, that is one of the things I always remember to remind myself that there are indeed many good people out there who do things for kind, selfless reasons. And such acts have a way of setting good things in motion. When my old teacher died some years later, I wrote to his wife and children to tell them what he had done and what an impact it had on me. Kindness generally begets more kindness.

 

[Jackotheshadows]

Remarkable
It amazes me how much we can endure, what we are able to survive
Yet if we were forewarned, able to prepare, we would never be able to bear it
We would stop living, to avoid the pain

I know some people do, but when things in live have been difficult for me, a little voice in my head says;

"What are you going to do, quit?"

I am much too stubborn to quit.

 

[elib257]

Your lovely story reminded me of one more. When I was in my last year of high school, my sister (who was 4 years older than me) died suddenly. Of course, people had lots of questions about what happened and why and of course it was excrutiatingly painful for me or anyone in my family to try to answer them. I was out of school for a week and was dreading going back and being the object of scrutiny at a time when I least wanted it. But I did go back and could not get over how kind and discreet virtually all my classmates were, Years later, I found out that my English teacher--a really wonderful guy, but just another teacher to me at the time--had gone to our class and to my homeroom and talked to the students about compassion and how the kindest thing anyone could do for me at that point was to be there for me but not pry into what was very difficult for me and my family then. He never said a word to me about it, and I only found out--as I said--years later, when an old school friend mentioned it. When I am feeling low and embittered about the world, that is one of the things I always remember to remind myself that there are indeed many good people out there who do things for kind, selfless reasons. And such acts have a way of setting good things in motion. When my old teacher died some years later, I wrote to his wife and children to tell them what he had done and what an impact it had on me. Kindness generally begets more kindness.

It's the little things that count.

 

[just pet]

I know, it is amazing isn't it? And your right, we probably would of all run the other way had we known what was in store for us. One split second can change your life forever and the way you look at things. I know from what I have experienced with my Michael has given me alot of strength to accept things with ease now, I have been diagnosed with MS and lupus (both totally manageable) and can remember being given both diagnosis and pretty much just letting them roll off of me.......I've lived thru the best and the worst within an hour...after that everything else has been a breeze

So well said
I wish you cool weather, love and the strength to laugh until you think you'll pee your pants

 

[Yes_YEs_YES]

it gives me new perspective. Reminders. A check in on grateful, if you will.

Your strength and courage is inspiring.

Mission accomplished then ... thats what it was intended to do