Some advice needed

[sillytheclown]

Why is it a woman that finds out your a virgin, then turns a moving along relationship, into just friends. I am not out to just fuck someone. I like relationships. I am 33, yet i find either they want to just fuck me for my virginity, or they just want to be friends because of it.

Why is it so hard for someone to be in a relationship, if the other person is a virgin. I mean i am honestly not waiting for marriage, just for the right one.

So what is the answer?

Thanks, STC

 

[coastal-boy]

right one? I am so thankful for all the ones that came before I met the right one. Now I understand what it takes to keep her happy and have the confidence to do it. Seriously, I think if you are waiting for "the one", expectations will let you down and you will not end up with the right one. Obviously, this is an issue for you, otherwise it wouldnt be brought up in your relationships.

 

[FaustARP]

edit: nevermind.

 

[blueyz22]

Seriously, you gotta get some practice. Sex usually sucks the 1st time anyway. It's awkward and you're nervous. Trust me, get it out the way. You'll only get better with time.

 

[sillytheclown]

thanks for the replies, i am thinking about it.


but its hard to give something up, after holding on so long.

 

[george55]

Why is it a woman that finds out your a virgin, then turns a moving along relationship, into just friends. I am not out to just fuck someone. I like relationships. I am 33, yet i find either they want to just fuck me for my virginity, or they just want to be friends because of it.

Why is it so hard for someone to be in a relationship, if the other person is a virgin. I mean i am honestly not waiting for marriage, just for the right one.

So what is the answer?

Thanks, STC

Silly.......don't you feel a clock ticking. At thirtythree you are waiting for the right one to be the first one. At thirtythree most of the world has already had a broken heart. My thought when I first saw this is why did it(virginity) come up in the first place. Every girl you've dated assumed to start with that you weren't. You were in the army. From what I've seen on these threads you're articulate and artistic. My thought is they see an effeminate side when this comes up and that is a killer to any budding relationship. I'm not saying you are!!!!!! Conversely nothing wrong with having some of those characteristics. But perception is everything.

I go back to my second question. Why did the discussion come up in the first place. It is not in the natural order of things........


after rereading this, I thought what is a 58 yr old twice divorced person doing giving advice....... but couldn't help myself!!!!

 

[sillytheclown]

Silly.......don't you feel a clock ticking. At thirtythree you are waiting for the right one to be the first one. At thirtythree most of the world has already had a broken heart. My thought when I first saw this is why did it(virginity) come up in the first place. Every girl you've dated assumed to start with that you weren't. You were in the army. From what I've seen on these threads you're articulate and artistic. My thought is they see an effeminate side when this comes up and that is a killer to any budding relationship. I'm not saying you are!!!!!! Conversely nothing wrong with having some of those characteristics. But perception is everything.

I go back to my second question. Why did the discussion come up in the first place. It is not in the natural order of things........


after rereading this, I thought what is a 58 yr old twice divorced person doing giving advice....... but couldn't help myself!!!!

The clock is always ticking. I haven't dated a lot, i travel most of the time. The last couple i dated knew i worked in a bar, and well nothing in a bar is sacred, expecially that. (dad owned the bar so everyone knew my buisness.) sex talk in a bar comes up a lot, and when i never gave my 2 cents, well i didn't lie when asked the direct question.

I am ok with words on a chat screen, but not in person as much. I guess the nerves of it all.

Advice given, is not always the best advice for yourself. (i give sexual advice to people that have had sex, it works for them.).

 

[subgirl2]

STC, just take your time and wait for the right person. You will know when it feels right. Physically it may not be great the first time anyone does it but it will be a learning experience and who better to teach you than someone you love, trust and respect.

Sex is ok, but when you are with the right person, it is mind-blowing. Anyone can have sex with their sexual organs but with that special person, you make love with your heart.

You have waited this long STC, wait a little longer sweetie.

 

[koalabear]

STC, just take your time and wait for the right person. You will know when it feels right. Physically it may not be great the first time anyone does it but it will be a learning experience and who better to teach you than someone you love, trust and respect.

Sex is ok, but when you are with the right person, it is mind-blowing. Anyone can have sex with their sexual organs but with that special person, you make love with your heart.

You have waited this long STC, wait a little longer sweetie.

or you can have sex with anyone......you can only make love to one.........

 

[subgirl2]

or you can have sex with anyone......you can only make love to one.........

That is awful Koala, he is obviously a nice guy. He shouldn't do anything til he is ready. Don't you think it would better with someone he truly cares about?

 

[koalabear]

That is awful Koala, he is obviously a nice guy. He shouldn't do anything til he is ready. Don't you think it would better with someone he truly cares about?

read my post again......you have obviously been a sub too long.

 

[Solange22]

Follow your heart, it will never lead you in the wrong path. And thats advice from a dom.

 

[sillytheclown]

STC, just take your time and wait for the right person. You will know when it feels right. Physically it may not be great the first time anyone does it but it will be a learning experience and who better to teach you than someone you love, trust and respect.

Sex is ok, but when you are with the right person, it is mind-blowing. Anyone can have sex with their sexual organs but with that special person, you make love with your heart.

You have waited this long STC, wait a little longer sweetie.

Thanks for the comment, I go back and forth sometimes. Its just hard to know what the right thing is, sometimes i think i am just to shy, and scare off the people i like, but then i guess its not meant to be right..

thanks for the advice again

 

[ReadyOne]

You've past the point where virginity is considered a reasonable possibility. In other words, people are going to expect that by now you've had the experience. They see a red flag when you tell them you've still not been laid, mentally asking "what is wrong with this guy that no one ever had sex with him?"

Your choices:

1. Do nothing; expect the same. The problem will most likely persist a long time if not forever.

2. Expect the right person to come quickly. If she doesn't (set at time limit like 6 months), then assume that your true expecation beneath all your wishes is that you will stay a virgin.

3. Decide that your first is not going to be "perfect" and take proactive action.

There are some girls who get off on breaking in a virgin. They aren't too numerous, but if you put out the word that you're available to someone who wants a virgin one-time stand, you should be approached.

You may get someone who wants a notch, someone who wants to teach, or a just pity fuck. Any will give you some experience. If the first time fizzles, you'll still get another chance.

When the time comes, tell her that she may need to lead you at times, and try to be sensitive to their hints. A lot of it is non-verbal, such as moving close to start another kiss, moving your hand either away from where she doesn't want it or to where she does want it, or guiding your dick when she's ready for penetration.

If you concentrate almost exclusively on their pleasure, you will get a wealth of information about what works and doesn't work with a woman. And you may get offered a repeat -- women are always looking for attentive lovers.

First, don't be afraid to ask a question "does this feel good?" or "am I pushing/sucking too hard?". Don't pester, just check in if you think you've left the path, or if after a while, there aren't clear signs she's enjoying something.

And volunteer your own feedback and encouragement. ("that's just right", "I like you touching me there", "You have wonderful --- and I want to ---", etc.)

Second, every woman is different and the same woman may respond differently another time. What you learn won't always apply, but you'll have a list of things to try which often work.

Sometimes (often the first) is fast and hard; you're both ready so tear off the clothes and go right to it. Other times (like from a standing start or a second go-around) it starts slow and sensual and you try to draw out the process to savor it and let desires really build up.

4. Get it over quick and find a hooker. It will be quick (get it over so she can get back out there and find the next john) but the ice will be broken. And some girls do have a bit of compassion, so tell them up front that it's your first time and they'll probably give a little help, if not a lot. You can also ask for a quick look-see tour to get oriented about where things are, something that could be ackward during traditional sex.

Good luck!