Sexual AGRESSioN! *gnashes teeth a bit*

[twysted73]

Where do I begin?

WHy is it that the idea, thought, *shivers* potential or impending possability of agressive sex or intimate encounter (even as an erotic form of courting) such a turn on?

Why do some of us feel that to have your partner agress for sex, prowl the home seeking you out, stalk and eventually pounce on you is soooooo appealing?

Biting, scratching, throwing of bodies, fighting for a sexual dominance or fighting to entice the application of one.
Why so alluring? Why so captivating? Primal, I know. Tapping into the ID, I know. Reaching back past thousands of years of cultural evolution, I know.
But still....so..damn....important to me.
I was in a bar/water-front resturaunt enjoying a Crown & Coke with my father, talking about random thoughts. ( I do this more frequently knowing his time is somewhat limited as his brain's functionality now has a count down timer).
And I idly looked around during a pause in conversation and noted several older couples sitting next to one another, side by side but looking no different then two strangers at any random event.
And I thought to myself...NO! Not me. I refuse to let THAT happen.
I wondered, "Where's the fire? Where's the excitement? Where is that spark that makes them walk our of a theatre showing of the movie "300" inspired by an erotic love scene to venture home and tear into one another?"

More and more I come to the admission and willing (eager?) acceptance of my more animalistic traits and perceptions.
And in no other arena is this more prevelant than in my sex.
Biting, scratching, unintentional growls deep in my throat when "she" hits a button in me that taps into that primal energy and instinct. The instant attraction to scent, pheramone, odor, taste, flavor, fluids excreted before, during, and after orgasm......all of it.
And how about the terms? Making Love, too romanticised a term to cover it all. "Fucking"? Too impersonal and the polar opposite version of making love. Same generalization, same mark missed.

Mating...now we're getting somewhere.
It combines an element of love making as well as fucking. But it attaches them to a trunk rather then on their own. That trunk being primal urge. WHAT IS it about being on the hunt, attacking your signifficant knowing they revel and delight in it?
It's cerebral, it's instinctual. It's...so human.
And it's absolutely a must for me. Was I beat as a child and then associated feelings of love and being cared for by the abuser into my adult life somehow?
No.
Yet here I am, instinctively viewing "love bites" in a very literal sense as very bonding and serious tranferances of non-verbal intent and thought.


What do you think of this? What lable would one apply to this personality trait?


Artist: She Wants Revenge
Album: She Wants Revenge
Title: Tear You Apart


Got a big plan, this mindset maybe its right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
And the whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her
Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped
But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light
When she walked in, he throws up, believe its the fright

Its cute in a way, till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak
An escape is just a nod and a casual wave
Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breasts, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to fucking tear you apart

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ah, the thing is though, as mundane as people may look, it may be far from who they are in private, or even certain times in public. I remember well a gentleman I had chance to get to know intimately in my youth who said I was the most surprising female he had ever met as I looked all sweet and innocent, acted like a lady, but was the hottest he had ever had the blessing to know. Someetimes it is that dichotomy which can add to the attraction and fire.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

... What lable would one apply to this personality trait?

Ir you really think you need another label, how 'bout "cool cat" or "big dog"or maybe just "horn dog"?

 

[twysted73]

Lables, I don't believe in em. I just wondered if their existed one so I could avoid allowing it to be applied to me Miz Mona.

*hands you a clean-X anyway, despite potential bloody-stumpage*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Lables, I don't believe in em. I just wondered if their existed one so I could avoid allowing it to be applied to me Miz Mona.

*hands you a clean-X anyway, despite potential bloody-stumpage*

HA!

I'm enigmatic. Someone sorta told me so today. Top that label.

 

[00Syd]

My thought after reading your post:

"CALL ME ANIMAL! Thats my name! CALL ME ANIMAL! I'm not ashamed!!"

Another thought:

"TOO ANIMALISTIC!"




(Gee - Sure hope someone knows what I'm talking about...)

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[Homburg]

No real comment on the thread, but, damn, I dig that song, and for the same reasons. Aggressive and sexual, and it riles me up.

 

[madetotakeit]

Well, as you said, it's primal. It speaks to the core. Omit personality, expectations, any of the myriad of things that can interfere with the conscious mind taking over. It is acting on instinct. A battle of wills and a battle of bodies. To see something that entices, to conquer it, to claim it so that any other will know it belongs to you. Spoils of war so to speak.

The physical senses kick into higher gear. Blood flow increases throughout the body making touch, smell, sight and taste more intense. The simple thought of that feeling increases the heart rate, tongue slides across a canine to test sharpness in anticipation, pupils dilate. The flow of blood carries that desire throughout the body. All of these things feed on themselves.

It is a basic human need to be connected to someone. To claim or be claimed. Why does a PYL thrill at viewing the marks that have been given? Why do the pyl's wax romantic about the marks left? Because it is a claiming. The PYL can say, "That is mine. S/he belongs to me." The pyl can say, "I'm worthy of being claimed. Here is my proof." Until it fades, marks left are a reminder of that moment, that feeling, that intensity experienced.

Why is there this reaction to just the thought? Because it has been felt on the giving end, receiving end, or both. It is a connection in the mind and body which have both either conquered or been conquered. While it is possible to feel that connection through making love, it is very rare. I would have to say that why it is such an hunger is that few other things make you feel that alive.

I have to agree with Cat in reference to the couple. Who is to say that they are not that comfortable with each other because they have not (nor continue) to act out this battle? That they have found complete calm with each other because they know their places with each other? Apparently still waters should never be discounted. The undertow can be quite intense once you have reached that layer.

 

[EmpressFi]

This conversation just makes me think of Master's visit. I love when he growls. It's one of the most possessive, animal sounds I've ever heard and effects me sometimes better than a touch.

He and I were reminiscing today about something that happened this visit, when at one point I started struggling and the harder I pulled, the harder he fought to hold me still. (He says I could have struggled more, I was afraid accidentally hitting him.. hehe). But both of us were talking today about how hot that was and how that it stands out ~ even with everything we did ~ as the hottest scene for us..

I love that song, btw.

ETA: I agree with you about the markings. I'm actually sad that now, a week later, only two bite marks remain and took great pleasure in "wearing" them. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel his teeth again... /sigh

 

[niteshade]

Artist: She Wants Revenge

Ok, its off topic, but TY for the intro to this band... I am way loving the music I found after I looked them up

As for the post ... animalistic, rough, teeth-in-the-shoulder-while-my-hair-is-pulled-sex has always been my favorite kind. Anything else tends to leave me unsatisfied and let down... maybe even vaguely unwanted. I like my passion to be, well, passionate.

 

[madetotakeit]

This conversation just makes me think of Master's visit. I love when he growls. It's one of the most possessive, animal sounds I've ever heard and effects me sometimes better than a touch.

Hearing a growl either outright or underlying in the voice goes straight through me. 0 to 60 in less than a second. It's like asking the animal if it wants to come out and play. Very, very visceral.

 

[eastern sun]

Give an animal consciousness and rational thought and what do you get?

Power exchange.

We're just like any other mammal near the top of the food chain, setting up status relationships before we get down to the feast.

 

[YourCaptor]

Thrill seeker

I think its more thrill then wanting to be aggressive. Similar to the need for speed, its not so much the motive, but the excitement you get from it.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Almost on topic - The Number 23

I had this embedded in my online gallery thingy a while back, interesting dynamic, wonder it hasn't made Marquis's thread yet.

 

[Netzach]

I've never been able to distinguish between a man grunting in climax and grunting when getting sacked playing football or getting punched. The one-down position is wherever you want it to be.

I like using my nails, he likes using his teeth. I don't find that sex is lackluster though when we're acting like lounging Romans rather than rutting Caribou. It's just other flavors, of which I'm a large fan.

 

[unfoundiamond]

Well Lovies... I smiled when I saw the showing of posters, you little cuties...

(Scolds Twyst for knashing his teeth...) Bad Boy!, you know you shouldn't do that... and I know I have told you before... ...That sound... *covers ears...*

Now... What a lovely thread...

What is it about rough sex for you Twyst... Id say its a combination of things...
One of which being the onslaught of feelings we are all plagued by...

I see it as people all trying to chase a rush, trying to feel something, and in a world where we are constantly bombarded with graphic images and gutwrenching pain and sufferage, eventually those that can feel, and want something more, seek a "higher plane" or a feeling to top the terrible or lackluster ones that have preceeded...

We all are overexposed to sex and violence... I know for a fact I am desensitized to both... I can't find porn or a partner dirty or sadistic enough...

I feel I am constantly seeking more... more pain, more love, more passion, more control, more discipline...

Aren't we all? But, I see I have to work harder to top the last time, I won't settle for backing down the kinky stepladder either, either be kinky and twysted, or get the F out...

But...

I have to say, I feel you on being sexually frustrated, I just masterbated twice I was so bored and not tired, and all I really want is for someone to rough me up a little... *devilish grin*

Goodnight all...

I must go... nice thread Twyst... *kisses*

(ETA/BTW twyst, if I remember correctly it was a song I danced to with my puppy... I can't seem to remember... funny thing... time makes specifics foggy... *scratches head*)

 

[twysted73]

Ok, its off topic, but TY for the intro to this band... I am way loving the music I found after I looked them up

As for the post ... animalistic, rough, teeth-in-the-shoulder-while-my-hair-is-pulled-sex has always been my favorite kind. Anything else tends to leave me unsatisfied and let down... maybe even vaguely unwanted. I like my passion to be, well, passionate.

Hijack away. You are most certainly welcome on the intro. Awesome desires scream for inspiring music at times.

~ for a more etherial and deeper trip, try out "The Moscow Coup Attempt". Either "Vultures" or "Are You Afraid To Sleep" for starters. ~

And I completely agree with you on the "empty" feeling when I need the hurt and the agression to be conveyed between "she" and I and I get a bunch of "ow...you're hurting me. Let go of my neck." It IS a feeling of dissatisfaction. (( Bill Burr Reference...anyone? Anyone? Bueller? ))
*Come to me ready or go home* Sounds selfish, but I have appetites. Happy to put them asside to focus and rock your senses off and on. But.....don't hold back too long.

No real comment on the thread, but, damn, I dig that song, and for the same reasons. Aggressive and sexual, and it riles me up.

Daaaaaaamn right.

I have to agree with Cat in reference to the couple. Who is to say that they are not that comfortable with each other because they have not (nor continue) to act out this battle? That they have found complete calm with each other because they know their places with each other? Apparently still waters should never be discounted. The undertow can be quite intense once you have reached that layer.

Disagree. Simply because it's not where my headspace is at this juncture. What I was saying (essentially) was that they're comfortability, although enjoyable when in the mood and need for it, is enjoyable. But......under the current circumstances and current mind set....it bored the hell out of me and I would need my signifficant to get that. To know me that well. To read me as I read her. To pick her battles well with me on what I will let go of to please her and what I cannot ignore when it's upon me like a fever.
I feel like a caged tiger going baaaack and forth in it's enclosure.

(Scolds Twyst for knashing his teeth...)
I see it as people all trying to chase a rush, trying to feel something, and in a world where we are constantly bombarded with graphic images and gutwrenching pain and sufferage, eventually those that can feel, and want something more, seek a "higher plane" or a feeling to top the terrible or lackluster ones that have preceeded...

We all are overexposed to sex and violence... I know for a fact I am desensitized to both... I can't find porn or a partner dirty or sadistic enough...

Agreed. Not worth the effort to look anymore. (porn-wise) Partners? Still looking but not actively.
It has to be more then just the body, the sex....I need that mental capacity. The one that mirrors my own.

I feel I am constantly seeking more... more pain, more love, more passion, more control, more discipline...
Aren't we all? But, I see I have to work harder to top the last time, I won't settle for backing down the kinky stepladder either, either be kinky and twysted, or get the F out...

Agreed. Not that I expect someone to be all I seek. No, that's where room is needed to grow into one another. But the potential and the possability MUSt be there initially.

I need something to work with.
So often I'd "give it the old college try" when I knew the spark wasn't there and it was disasterous.

That's like actively choosing misery and discontentedness.

I want my ice cream with coating and sticky cherry juice and creamy whipped topping followed by coco chips, a cookie ground in and caramel to cover it.

 

[madetotakeit]

Disagree. Simply because it's not where my headspace is at this juncture. What I was saying (essentially) was that they're comfortability, although enjoyable when in the mood and need for it, is enjoyable. But......under the current circumstances and current mind set....it bored the hell out of me and I would need my signifficant to get that. To know me that well. To read me as I read her. To pick her battles well with me on what I will let go of to please her and what I cannot ignore when it's upon me like a fever.
I feel like a caged tiger going baaaack and forth in it's enclosure.

Of course you have every right to disagree (it is your thread and your interpretation of course. ) I was simply stating that to judge by an interaction observed at a distance does not always indicate what is really happening. Some find it difficult to be "on" 24/7, some may be so subtle as to be unnoticed by others-quiet torture knowing you have to contain to "keep up appearances," while others may just be as you took it to be a boring couple. I personally like to think it would be the middle option, but that's just me.

I've used that image of a big cat pacing in its cage to describe the buildup as well. Sometimes I'm surprised I do not look down and see grooves worn into the ground wanting to feel that intensity, wanting that next level. Feel your pain there.

 

[twysted73]

Of course you have every right to disagree (it is your thread and your interpretation of course. ) I was simply stating that to judge by an interaction observed at a distance does not always indicate what is really happening. Some find it difficult to be "on" 24/7, some may be so subtle as to be unnoticed by others-quiet torture knowing you have to contain to "keep up appearances," while others may just be as you took it to be a boring couple. I personally like to think it would be the middle option, but that's just me.

I've used that image of a big cat pacing in its cage to describe the buildup as well. Sometimes I'm surprised I do not look down and see grooves worn into the ground wanting to feel that intensity, wanting that next level. Feel your pain there.

I felt like disagreeing because I've noticed a pattern in almost every thread where atleast ONE person focuses on something not vital to the thread that was said which may, indirectly, be considered negative or judgemental and defend the people/person/sex/sexual orientation/style/belief system/religous group/individual or mindset, etc. almost out of habit.
Just felt like fightin'.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ok, its off topic, but TY for the intro to this band... I am way loving the music I found after I looked them up

As for the post ... animalistic, rough, teeth-in-the-shoulder-while-my-hair-is-pulled-sex has always been my favorite kind. Anything else tends to leave me unsatisfied and let down... maybe even vaguely unwanted. I like my passion to be, well, passionate.

Nice to see you around these parts again....you have been missed.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Disagree. Simply because it's not where my headspace is at this juncture. What I was saying (essentially) was that they're comfortability, although enjoyable when in the mood and need for it, is enjoyable. But......under the current circumstances and current mind set....it bored the hell out of me and I would need my signifficant to get that. To know me that well. To read me as I read her. To pick her battles well with me on what I will let go of to please her and what I cannot ignore when it's upon me like a fever.
I feel like a caged tiger going baaaack and forth in it's enclosure.....

Partners? Still looking but not actively.
It has to be more then just the body, the sex....I need that mental capacity. The one that mirrors my own.

I think most people of both lifestyle and vanilla could have spoken this about feeling like a caged tiger, lacking that something which takes the boredom and predictability out of it all, but I also think those who do often blame the ones around them, circumstances, life, responsibilities, and the list goes on when in reality the most obvious reason they are experiencing this moment in time begins and ends with themselves.

How? Well though I believe in fate and destiny, I also believe you have responsibility and ability to make the changes necessary in life to achieve what you need. I could have stayed on welfare the rest of my life, living below the poverty line and wondering if and how I would continue to survive. Instead, as difficult as it was being poverty sticken, alone with 2 children, in poor health, and having health issues of my children to deal with as well as the effects of an absent father they wished to connect with but who didn't wish to connect with his own children (largely because he found telling a hard luck story to anyone who would listen far more attractive and easier), I went back to finish my education beginning with full-time regular high school and continuing onto university and a degree (interspersed with operations and family dramas), followed by a successful career. I made that choice and I made that happen.

Similarly, I could have continued to coast along in a succession of mainstream relationships where in all reality I could have had my material needs met, been showered with love and attention, and basically to anyone elses gaze had a nice life. That wasn't what I wanted so I set out to find someone who was wanting the same lifestyle choices as me, someone who wanted to be on the edge, someone who was very much in tune with me and yet not predictable. I found him and he found me and we are still, in our 6th year together, surprising each other, venturing into new territory either one or both have a desire to explore, pushing the envelope, and definately not comfortably settling and yet many looking in from the outside see us as very content and settled. What is seen, and what is, can be 2 vastly different things. Bottom line is if someone is dissatisfied with the way things are, no-one can change that but them....sometimes though it is easier, more comfortable, to stay in that rut and continue to wish for more, complain about not having it, know what to expect, not having the courage to step outside the box and see if they are up to the challenge. You hold the key to your own destiny...all you have to do is turn it.

Catalina

 

[VelvetDarkness]

While we're trading music that has a primal edge to it, I really like this.

Aggression is now a central part of sex to me. It's not often that we go for something gentler and my connection to Master is so total during animalistic sex; my headspace, the physical sensations, the exquisite pain and the bonding experience that results.

Basically, he only has to look at me. He gives me a single look that says 'I own you body and soul and I am about to reduce your existence to nothing more or less than whatever it is I want from you right now.' It causes a physical and psychological response in me. My eyes glaze, my back arches slightly and my loins melt. Nothing else is important. That single look will get me naked on my hands and knees faster than anything else.

Scenes with us often start with hair pulling, biting, his hand on my throat, him growling filth at me or throwing me against the nearest wall/floor/hard surface. It brings something completely animal in me straight to the surface. Even if he tries to catch me off guard and take me by force, I'll get wet so fast that the pain it causes is minimal (to his utter disgust. )

I love it all. I love every second.

 

[CurlyKat]

I get it, too. I love when we both get so into it that we just have to take a bite out of one another. Like what was stated earlier, those "love marks" are something that I wear with pride, knowing I was claimed. Hearing a darker tone in his voice, or eliciting a growl that was slightly out of his control... both make me positively melt.

And yeah, way awesome song. I haven't heard it in forever, though, since apparantly it's not really popular in Europe yet.

 

[twysted73]

While we're trading music that has a primal edge to it, I really like this.

*claps* Awesome classic. This song will turn people on for years to come. I am glad to know Trent's from Pennsylvania. That way I don't feel so bad being the only sick f**k from that state.

*cheers for the non-amish PA*