Nature vs Nurture...

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

In regards to being involved in BDSM. Is this something we are born with or do we develop these feelings as we grow up?

Everyone talks about how this is a part of you forever. That this is a lifestyle. That it just feels right.

So is it in our DNA since birth? I personally believe you are born gay.

So are we born D/s?

I was thinking about this because I was trying to think of the reason I got interested in being a Dom and I couldn't come up with anything. I just feel like this has been a part of me my whole life and it was just a matter of time before it was released. That it was something I didn't learn but rather was inside of me the whole time.

Or am I looking TOO much into this?

 

[Bi_Kitty]

I say yes that it is something that you are born with. However, I do feel like some people aren't born with as much as other people. And those people have to add what they learn in nature. Just like you said, I also, believe being gay is something your are born with, too.

 

[madetotakeit]

I think it's a combination of nature and nurture. I think some of us are just wired to be this way. At some point there is an exposure and we recognize that part of us. I don't believe anyone could identify themselves strictly on one or the other. Without the catalyst, we would never know, and without the innate drive the exposure would have no effect.

 

[00Syd]

I agree completely with madetotakeit. I think its something in us from birth, but we don't always know its there. There has to be something that makes us realize that its there inside us. Maybe its different for other people, I'm sure there will be someone who says that they always knew from birth, but I don't know. *shrug* Its definitely a mixture of nature and nurture, at least for me.

 

[BiBunny]

Like everything else, it's a combination of both. I usually say that I was born this way, since I was doing BDSM-type things to myself at a very young age before I was ever exposed to any of it and long before I connected it with sexual pleasure. That being said, I'm sure the environment I grew up in had something to do with it, too, namely that I was an only child with way too much time on my hands.

 

[FurryFury]

I say yes that it is something that you are born with. However, I do feel like some people aren't born with as much as other people. And those people have to add what they learn in nature. Just like you said, I also, believe being gay is something your are born with, too.

I agree. I've thought about this a great deal.

 

[Netzach]

Chickens and eggs. Both and the world will never know. I know I have the disposition, it's a happy accident that I'm in a culture that brought it to this kind of fruition.

 

[SweetGigi]

I may very well get my teeth ground into the dirt over my thoughts on this... but then again I'm learning to 'take pain' so mebbe this will be a good exercise.

I believe there is a natural hierarchy to this world. A chain of command, if you will. I believe it is in our nature to find our 'place' in this hierarchy; to plot out our spot on the totem pole, so to speak. There are many people, (I know I am one) who exhibit both natural dominant and submissive tendencies. While I am naturally dominant in my every day life, if only because I am have to be, I am submissive to only one person. I often feel pulled and tight when having to be in control, but always feel perfectly content and at peace when serving Jim (and God for that matter). On the other hand, Jim is DOM all the way. Even the most dominant personalities, and I have seen this in practice, have submitted to his will or requests. His natural air and persona is very powerful and extremely commanding- even when he isn't 'wielding' it. His place on the totem pole is higher than mine and mine is higher than others- while still lower than some.

The short of the long is this: we all have tendencies, its just all within how you choose to perceive them. You can be what ever you 'choose', but you are only truly comfortable, satisfied, and quinched in one place or the other. You just have to find your place on the totem pole and accept it.


Ya know, it is funny. I just completeled a Bible study on this very thing not ten minutes ago. It's funny sometimes where God shows up. *giggles*

 

[Xantu]

Its always been there. I just recently learned its name.

 

[Netzach]

I may very well get my teeth ground into the dirt over my thoughts on this... but then again I'm learning to 'take pain' so mebbe this will be a good exercise.

I believe there is a natural hierarchy to this world. A chain of command, if you will. I believe it is in our nature to find our 'place' in this hierarchy; to plot out our spot on the totem pole, so to speak. There are many people, (I know I am one) who exhibit both natural dominant and submissive tendencies. While I am naturally dominant in my every day life, if only because I am have to be, I am submissive to only one person. I often feel pulled and tight when having to be in control, but always feel perfectly content and at peace when serving Jim (and God for that matter). On the other hand, Jim is DOM all the way. Even the most dominant personalities, and I have seen this in practice, have submitted to his will or requests. His natural air and persona is very powerful and extremely commanding- even when he isn't 'wielding' it. His place on the totem pole is higher than mine and mine is higher than others- while still lower than some.

The short of the long is this: we all have tendencies, its just all within how you choose to perceive them. You can be what ever you 'choose', but you are only truly comfortable, satisfied, and quinched in one place or the other. You just have to find your place on the totem pole and accept it.


Ya know, it is funny. I just completeled a Bible study on this very thing not ten minutes ago. It's funny sometimes where God shows up. *giggles*

The only thing that sticks in my craw about this is that there are people whose private and public lives are so different it would absolutely floor you. So are they higher or lower on the totem pole? It's two different poles. Somewhere there's a woman or several thousand who totally trump my ass on the "public life" diagram who get off on licking their Owner's soles.