Have you ever questioned your sexuality?

[ABSTRUSE]

But, damn. I like that pink corset.

Then you wear it.

 

[FatDino]

Used to be an innocent, (hey, I said 'used to'), hopelessly straight girl. Then started having all sorts of curiosity and fascinations towards lesbianism since I saw the kiss between Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions. (Gotta agree, it's a wicked hot kiss though.)

Anyway, I wasn't quite sure til very recently that I was into women. I took a bold step and agreed to go out with one from work and the intimacy, the bonding, the moments and the sex were shockingly breath-taking. Dating a woman is nothing different than dating a man, well, physiology aside, of course. There are laughter, cries, ups, downs, tears of both happiness and heartaches, lies, cheating, whatever. Now I admit I'm more into women than men. I prefer the softness, the scents and just purely the feelings of another feminine body next to me. But I still occasionally get aroused by a man, albeit not as much anymore.

I still don't know where I stand though. Straight, bisexual, gay, people categorize too much. Love is chemistry, connection and understanding. I don't think whether being with a man or a woman makes a difference. If you're in love, that is.

 

[elsol]

It never even occurred to me to be sexually interested in anyone but women. I have a couple of gay friends who say the fact that I have never questioned my heterosexuality means that I'm scared of finding out that I might really be gay or bi. I don't think that's true at all. I can entertain the idea and ask myself the question. The answer just comes quickly and very obviously. Men simply don't come off as sexually tempting to me. I guess, to my friends at least, I'm supposed to be embarrassed about being born straight. LOL.

Gay guys have said that to me too, but there's rather a cute of handling it.

"I've never contemplated suicide... is that because I'm scared if I do, I'll kill myself?"

For some reason that offends them though!

 

[McKenna]

Okay...jesus, I'll do you already.

Just don't wear the pink corset.

Dear God. I blushed.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I really like men. I've never questioned that. I've been attracted to women and it's not impossible that I might be again - not random women, but always someone I knew and found special in "that" way - but the really important people in my life, the ones who really make an impact on my heart and soul, have always been men.

And I do love the penises

 

[Xelebes]

Oh good grief. Just choose "other" already. You've no idea how long I stewed over the 6 options I did include in the hopes of finding something for everyone. No one was meant to feel excluded, I assure you.

I still feel slightly marginalised, despite participating in the poll!

 

[Pure]

i think far too much is made of these categories. and i must say the distribution is odd. about a half hetero, and one sixth each homo, bi, and "other." what is other?

none of the three. hetero, homo, or bi? or 'all of the above, depending on the phase of mercury?'

perhaps there is a refusal of all categories. i do what i do. the labels are irrelevant. or [taken as] shallow: i play guitar; i used to play violin. i wonder, am i a violinist or a guitarist. a fine guitarist i know, started in his 30s, having previously played clarinet. i never thought of asking him, "Are you *really* a guitarist? after all you spent 15 years with the clarinet and weren't tempted to even pick up a guitar." maybe he was 'bi-instrumental', but in the 'guitar' phase?

i like the 18th century view. the categories mostly did not exist; or to put it another way, the men were almost all 'straight' and married.
BUT, the married Marquis de Sade reports happily being embuggered--buttfucked-- by his manservant, during an orgy. No a single bio says that Sade was bi or gay, or records that Sade "questioned his sexuality" or wondered about his "sexual orientation."

there are plusses to 'identity politics,' esp for political ends. but i remember reading P Califia stories was back, and there were lesbians who liked to do or get done by guys occasionally, especially 'boys.'
i think it's just bs to say, regardless of the category, 'no one outside the category could turn me on, make me come, etc.'

 

[TE999]

i think far too much is made of these categories. and i must say the distribution is odd. about a half hetero, and one sixth each homo, bi, and "other." what is other?

none of the three. hetero, homo, or bi? or 'all of the above, depending on the phase of mercury?'

perhaps there is a refusal of all categories. i do what i do. the labels are irrelevant. or shallow: i play guitar; i used to play violin. i wonder, am i a violinist or a guitarist. a fine guitarist i know, started in his 30s, having previously played clarinet. i never thought of asking him, "Are you *really* a guitarist? after all you spent 15 years with the clarinet and weren't tempted to even pick up a guitar." maybe he was 'bi-instrumental', but in the 'guitar' phase?

i like the 18th century view. the categories mostly did not exist; or to put it another way, the men were almost all 'straight' and married.
BUT, the married Marquis de Sade reports happily being embuggered--buttfucked-- by his servant, during an orgy. No a single bio says that Sade was bi or gay.

there are plusses to 'identity politics,' esp for political ends. but i remember reading P Califia stories was back, and there were lesbians who liked to do or get done by guys occasionally, especially 'boys.'
i think it's just bs to say, regardless of the category, 'no one outside the category could turn me on, make me come, etc.'

You have--no pun intended--nailed it, pure.

It is less about who you love, but that you have someone to love and they love you.

 

[Guest]

i'm a gold star lesbian

shiny!!

seriously i'm with vana on this. i've been curious about what it would be like to have sex with a guy.

but the love thing................... dont think so.

 

[impressive]

Has it been done on Lit? I may have to pen one otherwise. I've read one or two gender-swap stories, maybe ten years ago.

Would it go in Sci-Fi or ...heh... Loving Wives?

http://www.fictionwise.com/eBooks/eBook40323.htm

 

[McKenna]

This is by far my most successful poll in terms of numbers who have voted.

Interesting.

 

[McKenna]

I still feel slightly marginalised, despite participating in the poll!

Oh good, my evil plan is working.

 

[feeeriek]

have questioned more my being sexual...than my sexuality

 

[Pure]

oh, i haven't voted yet, but it would have to be 'other,' i suppose. meaning, hetero, but objecting fundamentally to the categories.

without going into detail, i'm straight/hetero is the same sense as Sade was.

since the poll sets three basic categories, it necesarily invites convoluted thinking and rationalization. as if my friend, having played guitar for 30 years, picks up the clarinet again for an evening. he then, as the quesitons are set up, has to wonder, "am i really a guitarist?"

many of those in each category will say, for example, "I'm basically gay, but there were these isolated or previous acts that were straight." or "I'm basically straight, but one night, really drunk, I enjoyed kissing someone of the same sex." iow distinguish one set of acts as reflecting the basic [core person], and call the other acts 'random' or unexplainable.

the gay and lesbian ideologues, will say that the second case [["I'm basically straight, but one night really drunk enjoyed kissing someone of the same sex." ]] is like an accountant who says, "i'm basically honest except for the one time i ripped off a thousand dollars from my company."

yet the opposite view is equally arguable. "i'm now honest, though i did some shoplifting, as a teen." this statement is possibly plausible and accurate.

and to further complicate matters, let's apply [something like] the AA approach. Suppose the facts are these: "What I, Joe Blow, do now, in my 30s, is straight sex only, but what i often did as a young adult were gay sex acts of various kinds."

following the AA approach, this should be "I'm Joe B., and I'm gay. but i've just gotten my 10 year pin, 10 years of straight sex only."

Joe Blow is, in shrink jargon, " a homosexual in remission."

 

[Guest]

edited

 

[john-the-author]

A dear and departed friend of mine named Sharma once described her surefire test for whether or not you're bisexual, as follows:

1. Total the number of sexual partners of the opposite sex you've ever had.

2. Total the number of sexual partners of the same sex you've ever had.

3. Check the numbers. If both of them are greater than zero, you're bisexual.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Joe is, in shrink jargon, " a homosexual in remission."

Did we have to use "Joe" as the random name indicator here?

 

[Liar]

i'm a gold star lesbian

You get a diploma?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I am as straight as a board... despite the temptations offered on the AV thread.

Maharat

That's really too bad, Maharat

 

[THROBBS]

I am as straight as a board... despite the temptations offered on the AV thread.

Maharat

HA!
You are as curvy as an hourglass!

 

[LoquaciousLady]

A dear and departed friend of mine named Sharma once described her surefire test for whether or not you're bisexual, as follows:

1. Total the number of sexual partners of the opposite sex you've ever had.

2. Total the number of sexual partners of the same sex you've ever had.

3. Check the numbers. If both of them are greater than zero, you're bisexual.

But there are so many issues not addressed there. What if both numbers are greater than zero but you're now in a long-term monogamous relationship? Does that tie you to whatever orientation you would be as a partner in that relationship? Does deciding to enter into a permanent relationship mean you've "made up your mind"? Or do you stay bisexual regardless of whether you're boffing those of the other persuasion anymore?

 

[Guest]

Have I ever questioned my sexuality? Yeah, but I had to waterboard the little bastard to get any answers...

I'm a late bloomer, in my 40's before I questioned seriously. Thought I might be gay for a while, dismissed that, and after a few experiences, decided that I'm opportunistically bisexual: right place, right time, right guy.

But I can't see me spending a "happily ever after" with a guy. Now, a guy and a gal, mais oui!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

But there are so many issues not addressed there. What if both numbers are greater than zero but you're now in a long-term monogamous relationship? Does that tie you to whatever orientation you would be as a partner in that relationship? Does deciding to enter into a permanent relationship mean you've "made up your mind"? Or do you stay bisexual regardless of whether you're boffing those of the other persuasion anymore?

So, by that reasoning, if I love pizza, and I buy pepperoni every night for twenty years, I'm not allowed to eat sausage tomorrow, just because I like that too?

Just because you are only with one, does not mean that you aren't attracted to the other, or negate the fact that you have slept with (and hopefully enjoyed) both.

If you only desire heterosexual sex, you are straight.
If you only desire homosexual sex, you are gay.
If you desire both, regardless of which you are having now, you are bi.

 

[Stella_Omega]

But there are so many issues not addressed there. What if both numbers are greater than zero but you're now in a long-term monogamous relationship? Does that tie you to whatever orientation you would be as a partner in that relationship? Does deciding to enter into a permanent relationship mean you've "made up your mind"? Or do you stay bisexual regardless of whether you're boffing those of the other persuasion anymore?

Well, monogamy is monogamy, isn't it?

I think there will be different answers for different people. I do know bis who did "make up their mind" and found a monogamous relationship with the sex they were happiest with, and I don't consider them any less bisexual for that-- other people simply make a choice to be monogamous for the sake of the person they've fallen in love with-- whatever sex that person happens to be. In other words, some people are gender-motivated, and some are motivated by the individual.

As a bisexual who has had a long-time relationship that has been open and closed at different times, I can say that I am always bisexual no matter what sex my primary partner is. And if (not a chance) this relationship ended, I could not tell you what sex my new partner would be!

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Women's bodies rule my world.

I can watch gay porn (if chosen by someone else) or read gay erotica, no problem. I collect what I find fun to read or if there's an author or artist whose style I enjoy. It might get me excited, even. I appreciate the energy and passion of sex in general, which I believe is all-encompassing under one umbrella.

But nothing moves me like a woman's body does. So never really questioned my orientation. And I have had plenty of chances to explore the other side of the fence, had I ever wanted to take the plunge. So while I don't believe in absolutes, I don't see myself wavering over what makes my cock hard and what's made it hard since I first started looking at girls.