If You Could Go Back in Time and Change

My past is filled with challenges.
They all had a part in making me who I am today.
Changing even one thing would make a difference in me.
I finally, after all these years, like me.
So I don't think I would risk changing anything--I could be a hateful, evil person if I did.
 
Shanglan-- :kiss: You still mourn, I am so sorry.

*nuzzles*

You're a kind heart, Stella.

It's not that she's gone. You know when you decide to have pets that you will in all likelihood outlive them, and you come to accept it. It's how she went. God, what I wouldn't do to spare her that.

It's sweet, though, how people remember her. It's been more than a year, and today at dog training the trainer dug out her picture to show to someone looking at our younger dog. She wanted people to see that first dog. She was something special.
 
I'd not change anything that might hurt me, I don't think, but I'd give almost anything to take back the hurt I've caused others.

I'd have chosen a different major, one that I might actually be able to find a job in.

I'd have been braver and more accepting of possibilities, rather than overwhelmed by probabilities.
 
Thinking about it I would not go back and change a thing. Everything I went through changed me and made me the person I am today. The good the bad and the ugly have all shaped me.

In oh so many ways I still pay for my mistakes. I have the aches and pains, I have the memories and the now rare nightmares.

Yet I am happy. I am married to a wonderful woman, (Whom some would say is a saint for putting up with me for over 15 years.) I own my own place and I am alive.

Cat
 
It's how she went. God, what I wouldn't do to spare her that.
Oh, yes, I understand that perfectly!
It's sweet, though, how people remember her. It's been more than a year, and today at dog training the trainer dug out her picture to show to someone looking at our younger dog. She wanted people to see that first dog. She was something special.
:rose:
 
*nuzzles*

You're a kind heart, Stella.

It's not that she's gone. You know when you decide to have pets that you will in all likelihood outlive them, and you come to accept it. It's how she went. God, what I wouldn't do to spare her that.

It's sweet, though, how people remember her. It's been more than a year, and today at dog training the trainer dug out her picture to show to someone looking at our younger dog. She wanted people to see that first dog. She was something special.

Shang,

Belive me when I say I understand.

Critter, who was with us less than a year died hard. I would change tha if I could. She is still remembered though. Her offspring are with us and are pampered because of her memories. In our back yard is a small statue of Bast, it sits above her resting place.

Cat
 
I'd go back to when I was 8 and tell mum and dad what my brother did. They say now they would've believed me, but I wonder.
If they did, so much pain would have been averted.
 
I'd go back to the day I let my knowledge be overwhlemed with raw gut wrenching terror and left new mexico with my kids....

But then again maybe I wouldn't

spiritual contracts aside... would I still be alone and piss poor in new mexico if I hadn't?
 
My first thought was to say I would go back to last summer and trust my first instinct. Would have saved me some time, money, and embarrassment.

Then I realized I probably should change something that matters. So what I'd actually change is this: I'd have waited until after my baccalaureate to move to the USA. That way I would have gone to college here and then had it easy if I chose to move back home. Poor planning on my part.
 
So many things.

Better financial decisions, more appreciation of time in grad school, even more time with my kids, a more successful trip last summer . . .

But mostly? Spending more time with my brother.

There's no way to get that one back.

:rose:
 
I'd take a silenced .22 pistol to a certain jail cell in Berlin in about 1926. One shot, so many problems solved.

My parents would never have met if you did that. I wouldn't exist. But then again, nor would the pedophilic arsehole I called my brother. So maybe it would be a good thing.
 
I don't think I'd change anything about my life. I'm happy with where and who I am. Maybe I could change things, but would I be as happy as I am today? Life is like a poker game, you make the best with the cards you're dealt.
 
I would have been nicer to my first wife, who was one of the sweetest :)persons I have ever known. I wasn't mean, or anything lke that, just not as sensitive as I should have been.

Either that or taken steps to keep my second wife from getting her hooks into me. :mad:
 
I would have told myself from 1997 to travel forward in time to 2002 so I could have met my wife five years earlier in my life. And I'd be five years younger today!

Actually, I'm not sure my wife would have liked me when I was 20...
 
In retrospect I should have run like a striped-ass ape on my wedding day. But my little head was in charge. *sigh*.
 
I would have gotten me a better lawyer, not a public defender, and gone to trial and won like O.J.
 
In retrospect I should have run like a striped-ass ape on my wedding day. But my little head was in charge. *sigh*.

I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who said "Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for free dry-roasted peanuts."
 
I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who said "Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for free dry-roasted peanuts."

Oh so true. But those were less enlightened times. :(

I'd rather have the peanuts--you can have the plane.
 
I don't think I'd change anything about my life. I'm happy with where and who I am. Maybe I could change things, but would I be as happy as I am today? Life is like a poker game, you make the best with the cards you're dealt.

I first saw this thread earlier today, and my first thought was something very close to what you wrote. I decided not to post immediately, but to think on it a bit, and see if I changed my mind. I haven't.

Everything that has happened, positive or negative, has helped to create who I am today. I like who I am, so why would I want to change it. Before someone says it, yes, I have been through extreme trauma and a number of tragedies, but that is life. It's a balance of joy and sorrow, light and dark, abundance and lack. Experiencing the difficult times allows me the luxury of reveling in the incredible times.

I'm ready for more.
 
I first saw this thread earlier today, and my first thought was something very close to what you wrote. I decided not to post immediately, but to think on it a bit, and see if I changed my mind. I haven't.

Everything that has happened, positive or negative, has helped to create who I am today. I like who I am, so why would I want to change it. Before someone says it, yes, I have been through extreme trauma and a number of tragedies, but that is life. It's a balance of joy and sorrow, light and dark, abundance and lack. Experiencing the difficult times allows me the luxury of reveling in the incredible times.

I'm ready for more.

Thats true, but some things, like apologizing when you should have, or not having an arguement or other option wouldn't make any drastic change, but might make a person feel better about himself or herself. :)
 
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