Being a "nice guy," I have been classified as stated; but women who do that don't look deep enough.
Speaking for myself, I take a lot before I dish it out, so some women think I won't stand up for myself, which is nonsense. I don't mind rocking the boat, but make it a gentle rock. I probably am a push-over, but that doesn't mean I can be walked on. I'm only a "push over," as long as I decide to be.
Women mistake gentleness, with being wimpy; kindness is suspicious or believed to be feigned.
I think they go for the not so nice guy, and if they get him, they are often sorry.
But that guy comes across as someone who is looked at as one who is tough, ready to defend, won't take any guff, will push rather than let pass, strong. Qualities, which give offspring a better chance at survival, than some one who is less dominant.
I can't blame women for not going for the nice-guy. It's a matter of preserving the species.
While true in long-ago days, though, it is no longer necessary to beat your rival to a pulp, to be a winner. Often women find the not-so-nice guy, turns out to be agressive towards them in an abusive manner. Then they wonder, where is the man who will listen, who will be my sweetheart, who accepts me as I am, who is a true lover--with intimacy of heart and body? The answer is they left that man standing, because they thought the tall, dark, and handsome type; would be the same. Instead, they get one who pushes them, who walks on them, who does just the opposite of what was really wanted.
It's a mistake, to have the nice guy finish last; but that lesson is often learned, too late.
I had a relationship with a woman for many years. She knew I was a "nice guy." One day she pushed too hard and I didn't take it. She was shocked, dismayed, and in tears. She expected me to act as I almost always do. It came as a great surprise to her that beneath the nice guy, is also a strong guy. sometimes it takes a great deal of strength to be a "nice guy." If a woman wants happiness, she should look a little deeper and see if the nice guy is that way, because he is strong.
The biggest hurt I ever received was from a woman who I cared about (& still do) greatly. She dumped me because I was a nice guy. When I asked why she was ending our relationship of many years, she said it was because we made each other so happy, and she just couldn't handle it.
So yes, nice guys finish last. In this case, there were tears from this lady as she broke our relationship. I wasn't very dry-eyed either. Even when a relationship is good and very happy--how can it get too happy? But for her, it did. So go figure...? Will nice guys ever finish where they should? It's up to the woman to decided. --what would this relationship have been like if instead of running away from happiness, she had decided to let it keep continue?
But no, she couldn't handle it and this nice guy, lost. It's too bad some women are afraid of being vulnerable, which also means, she is letting herself be open to being hurt as well as being deeply, loved.
Unfortunately for you, your woman left you, perhaps not because you were a nice guy, there may have been other factors that you weren't aware of. Either way, eventually you will be with a "nice girl" that will appreciate you. I loved your response and I agree with what you said. It's not a turn-on to me to watch two men fight. Some girls get off on that shit but maybe that's the type of girl you wouldn't want to be with anyway.
