Nominations for the Worst Coffee in the World

[kendo1]

And the nominations are:

In First Place, from recent (today) experience:

Charles de Gaulle Airport, Terminal Three.


I used to enjoy my trips to France, mainly for the standard of coffee served, anywhere you travelled. A recent development is the push-button prepackaged coffee machine dishwater that is served in a country that prides itself on its food and drink. I had to throw the disgusting stuff away into a poor, unsuspecting, potted plant. I suspect the plant has since died, for which I apologise.


Ken

 

[starrkers]

Never get the "freshly brewed" filter coffee at an Aussie McDonald's. McCafe coffee is fine, just not the filter stuff from standard Macca's. The bumfluff serving have no conept of coffee and will let it sit on the hotplate and stew for hours.
I got a cup (in a fit of caffeine deprived desperation) once. It was very very dark, oily, and could've been used to resurface the carpark. Also totally undrinkable.

 

[kendo1]

Never get the "freshly brewed" filter coffee at an Aussie McDonald's. McCafe coffee is fine, just not the filter stuff from standard Macca's. The bumfluff serving have no conept of coffee and will let it sit on the hotplate and stew for hours.
I got a cup (in a fit of caffeine deprived desperation) once. It was very very dark, oily, and could've been used to resurface the carpark. Also totally undrinkable.

Evening, Sheila.

I tend to avoid McD's on principle.
I shall continue to do so.

 

[starrkers]

Evening, Sheila.

I tend to avoid McD's on principle.
I shall continue to do so.

Very wise.

 

[glynndah]

Evening, Sheila.

I tend to avoid McD's on principle.
I shall continue to do so.

But they usually have fairly clean restrooms.

 

[Emperor_Nero]

Never get the "freshly brewed" filter coffee at an Aussie McDonald's. McCafe coffee is fine, just not the filter stuff from standard Macca's. The bumfluff serving have no conept of coffee and will let it sit on the hotplate and stew for hours.
I got a cup (in a fit of caffeine deprived desperation) once. It was very very dark, oily, and could've been used to resurface the carpark. Also totally undrinkable.

Actually, I think that describes McDonald's coffee even with a fresh pot. They make it so damn hot that they burn the coffee right from the start, giving you that dark, oily liquid that holds no resemblence to a real cup of coffee.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

The coffee in those hotel room two-cup Mr. Crappy-Coffee type pots. Geez, even classy hotels have the worst crap-coffee imagineable.

One exception: The Hyatt on the Chicago River has a new system, it's a one-cupper, which pours the coffee through a little filter cartridge right into a travel cup with lid (itself much nicer than lukewarm coffee in a mug). The product was truly delicious - a superior cup of coffee. More efficient for housekeeping, too. I hope it's the start of a trend.

 

[kendo1]

I just object to paying 3.2 Euros (about £2.50 or $5) for pretend coffee.
As a sub-note, the doughnuts were £2 each, too old and sticky, and had the consistency of wet bread.

 

[cloudy]

on the other hand, best drive thru coffee ever is Timmy's - always wonderful (unfortunately, they're only in Canada and a few select places in the states)

 

[kendo1]

I like my coffee like I like my women... red?

Well, maybe strong and dark.

 

[cloudy]

I like my coffee like I like my women... red?

Well, maybe strong and dark.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

But they usually have fairly clean restrooms.

And good fries. And good breakfast burritos. (But generally I'm with Kendo - only go in them when car-traveling and in a hurry.)

 

[SeaCat]

The worst coffee?

The coffee where I work.

If you buy it from the cafateria it has been sitting so long the pots are stained.

If you get it from the nurses station then you are getting the grounds they send up to the floor. Very weak and very acidic. (Very cheap coffee it is, I am convinced it is the packaged floor sweepings from a coffee making plant.)

On the other hand this seems to be what is acceptable to most people.

When I work I pre-measure several pots worth of my coffee from home. I will brew me a pot when I feel the desire for a cup. Very few of my co-workers will drink it though. They find it too strong for their liking. (On the other hand when I do brew a pot my European and South American Co-Workers always rush for the pot.)

Cat

 

[Weird Harold]

That's because coffee that's too strong, too hot, and too acidic makes a great scum remover -- then they put it back in the pot to be reheated and served; waste not want not. (and why anyone would ever want McDonald's coffee I'll never know.)

 

[sr71plt]

Worst coffee?

My wife's. Because she doesn't drink and doesn't see why anyone else would want to.

 

[_Lynn_]

Worst coffee?

My wife's. Because she doesn't drink and doesn't see why anyone else would want to.

Sounds like me....I don't drink it, either, so I never made it right.

The few times I've been to a Coffee Shop, I ordered something made without coffee.

 

[ms.read]

The worst cup of coffee I ever had was in Barbados.... The barrista strained what looked like about a pound of coffee through 6 oz of steamy water and proceeded to charge me 8 dollars for it. I refused and walked out.

 

[Liar]

I just object to paying 3.2 Euros (about £2.50 or $5) for pretend coffee.
As a sub-note, the doughnuts were £2 each, too old and sticky, and had the consistency of wet bread.

Seriously. Airport. Expected.

Worst coffe ever was the free insta-machine in one of the student lounges at Stockholm Uni, before they replaced it recently. It's passable now, but the old muck tasted like battery acid, rust and diesel fumes. But to get a good cup, one would have had to walk 30 metres and pay 7 kr ($1). Are we were all too... well... pathetic, to do that.

 

[TE999]

Hands down it's that river mud they offer in 7-11 Convenience stores.

30 wt motor oil with some cream and sugar.

Yuck!

 

[Boxlicker101]

The coffee at Jack in the Box is really horrible. It tastes like the water they use to boil beans in. Not coffee beans - kidney beans.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

ANY instant, de-caffinated coffee-flavored stuff.

Kendo's trenchant analysis of the coffee machines at Charles de Gaulle Airport, Terminal Three, reminded me of a similar machine in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

He (Arthur) had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The way it functioned was very interesting. When the Drink button was pressed it made an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject's taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject's metabolism and then sent tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject's brain to see what was likely to go down well. However, no one knew quite why it did this because it invariably delivered a cupful of liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. The Nutri-Matic was designed and manufactured by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation whose complaints department now covers all the major land masses of the first three planets in the Sirius Tau Star system.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

And the nominations are:

In First Place, from recent (today) experience:

Charles de Gaulle Airport, Terminal Three.


I used to enjoy my trips to France, mainly for the standard of coffee served, anywhere you travelled. A recent development is the push-button prepackaged coffee machine dishwater that is served in a country that prides itself on its food and drink. I had to throw the disgusting stuff away into a poor, unsuspecting, potted plant. I suspect the plant has since died, for which I apologise.


Ken

we had that too two weeks ago.

gotta agree with you it was fuckin disgusting

 

[oggbashan]

I have two nominations:

1. Camp Coffee still sold in the UK as a coffee essence in a square-sided bottle. It was and is dreadful but some people acquired a taste for it during World War II and still buy it. Whatever it is, however it's made, it doesn't taste like coffee.

2. My office tea and coffee machine in the 1970s. In theory it should have worked. In practice it produced everything from powder. The powder was dispensed on to a metal plate and then boiling water flushed over the plate into the plastic cup. After a few uses the metal plate became contaminated with powder and each cup had influences from the previous few cups - not too bad if the previous one had been decaff, but dreadful if it had been oxtail soup. Oxtail soup powder had a stronger flavour than any of the others and could contaminate twenty subsequent cups of so-called "coffee".

Og

 

[starrkers]

Oxtail coffee...blerh!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

The coffee in those hotel room two-cup Mr. Crappy-Coffee type pots. Geez, even classy hotels have the worst crap-coffee imagineable.

One exception: The Hyatt on the Chicago River has a new system, it's a one-cupper, which pours the coffee through a little filter cartridge right into a travel cup with lid (itself much nicer than lukewarm coffee in a mug). The product was truly delicious - a superior cup of coffee. More efficient for housekeeping, too. I hope it's the start of a trend.

Having worked in a few hotels, I have to agree with this. The reason for the crap coffee is, of course, COST. At the state park lodge where I worked, they actually served the same crap in the dining room that they provided in the rooms. I think it was the Chock Full O'Nuts brand or something. Nasty stuff. I was the night manager and I'd make my own coffee behind the desk, it wasn't long before the regular business travelers learned to hang out with me in the mornings and avoid the restaurant.