I digressed

angela146

Literotica Guru
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Aug 29, 2003
Posts
1,347
So... I decided to write a story from a man's perspective, one that would encompass several themes that I enjoy (to erotic effect) but explore them from the other side - the masculine side.

The plot is simple:

Husband comes home, finds that his wife is dressed like June Cleaver, cooking his favorite dinner with candlelight illuminating two place settings in the dining room. Pretty lingerie is, no doubt, waiting under her skirt, blouse and apron to be revealed after dinner, heralding a night of passionate wife-surrenders-to-husband lovemaking.

Husband, naturally, is infuriated that his formerly-feminist equal partner, soul mate and beloved intellectual thorn-in-the-side has metamorphosed into a Stepford wife.

He pulls a kitchen chair from the table, sits down, pulls her over his knee and expresses his rage in a way that an obedient housewife of the middle of the last century might understand - using the wooden spoon that had, until recently, been employed in stirring the sauce.

She cries pitifully, begging him to forgive her - or at least tell her what she has done to deserve such terrible punishment. He ignores her pleas and continues to thrash her bottom with nary a word of chastisement nor explanation of her offense.

Then, full of newly inflamed - and transformed - passion, he carries her to the bedroom and violently rapes her, re-awakening the lioness inside her. She resists, struggles, wrestles him onto his back, mounts him and attempts to claim her due in eye-for-an-eye retaliation. But, alas, his superior strength allows him to turn the tables back on her and complete his conquest.

Mutually satisfied, and with her pre-feminist attire in shreds (symbolizing the tearing-away of her identity-facade), they sit down to dinner and enjoy the lasagna which, magically, has been kept warm in the oven without burning.

...

I'm 1,200 words into the story. I have a wonderful description of their pre-married life, her subterfuge at his request that she cook him lasagna, their wedding reception where she, her aunts and her grandmother reveal the ruse and their honeymoon when she finally prepares his favorite meal for the first time - having forced him to wait until after marriage to sample her expert culinary talents.

Naturally, this includes soliloquy from the grandmother about the spiritual nature of Italian cooking and the traditions of passing same from mother to daughter across the generations. Also, of course, there is the section on the unique flavors that the wife adds to her tomato sauce and how they incorporate her father's French/Spanish heritage while preserving the old-world authenticity received through her Godmother's tutelage.

I'm finally at the point where the husband has entered the kitchen with the smell of lasagna in his nostrils.

Perhaps I may have done too much "scene setting". Maybe I don't need to go into this much depth to explain why the smell of lasagna is about to trigger such an intense reaction in a loving husband.

But, then again, this is the kind of stroke-and-diddle story that I like, so maybe it's OK.

I'm just concerned that the feedback might be a bit... oh, I don't know... negative. It's possible that some readers might not have enough patience to savor the foreplay before diving into the sexual narrative.

What do you think?
 
Feedback be damned. Write for you, not them, and make it what you need it to be.
 
I'm just concerned that the feedback might be a bit... oh, I don't know... negative. It's possible that some readers might not have enough patience to savor the foreplay before diving into the sexual narrative.

What do you think?
Yes, but you could make it work quite well.

(without reading the story yet) Can you find a way to constantly foreshadow the sexual ending? I would want to read all of that luscious cooking in a way that promises that a lot of sex is on its way. I 'd want the spanking and tiger-sex to seem inevitable, and seamless.

I kinda think you're good at that. :kiss:
 
It's your story. Write it the way you want it to be.
Yeah, I know.

I just wish I could find a larger audience for my - um - quirky tastes. Some people get turned off by intense domestic discipline. And a lot of people who like DD want it to be rule-based or at least fair (as opposed to my "because I damned-well feel like spanking you" kink).

Others get turned off by non-consensual sex or male-overcoming-female-resistance.

And once I have it narrowed down that far, I then also lose the segment who don't like a lot of texture-setup or complex literary symbolism.

I would love to have a couple of dozen people who wait impatiently for me to post my next story so they can lie back and enjoy savoring it for twelve or thirteen hours the way I do when I'm composing them.

I wrote the original post in order to maybe find a kindred spirit who would ask, "So, when is the story going to be finished? I'd *love* to read it! It sounds just like the kind of fantasies I masturbate to!"

But I guess that's why we're all here, isn't it?
 
I would love to have a couple of dozen people who wait impatiently for me to post my next story so they can lie back and enjoy savoring it for twelve or thirteen hours the way I do when I'm composing them.

I wrote the original post in order to maybe find a kindred spirit who would ask, "So, when is the story going to be finished? I'd *love* to read it! It sounds just like the kind of fantasies I masturbate to!"

But I guess that's why we're all here, isn't it?
Absolutely why.

And those folks are out there, if you can find them...
 
Definitely do it the way you want it to be written. I always write it the way I want it to be written and I do get lots of favorable feedback. Usually have no idea why since well I am not that good.

That being a different subject of course. There are people who wait with baited breath for your next story, I am sure I have one or two people who wait for mine with baited breath as well. They just don't always tell you so. ;)
 
I'm of the opinion that you should write what you want to write.

If you're really worried about the quality of the story, ask someone here to give it a look over once you finished.

And when it comes to the sensuality of food, I cannot praise 3113's Garden of Earthly Delights.
 
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