My first D&D story attempt

[GratefulFred]

...not sure this has potential or an audience but WTF!

Early Morning D&D Adventure - take 1

Cast of Misfits: GF (GratefulFred) - Human Thief; Carney - Dwarvan Fighter, BG (Babygrrl) - Elvan Wizard, Emap - Half Elvan Cleric

(Mjl has been left off as per his request. This story in no way has any relationship to Emap soon to be released story)

The adventurers meet outside the dodge ball competition complex knowing that they each shared either a total defeat at the hands of some local halflings squad or just wanted to get a cool smoke in the designated smoking area.

BG, feeling fairly horny opens up with some mindless dribble. "Damn hobbits! You try and put 'em to sleep and they jump the spell radius."

Carney looks over at the tall slender Elvan figure and turns his face whispering “Filthy Elves" under his breath. He goes on to play with his long beard making sure his hands find an opening through his armor to stroke his hard cock. He momentarily shuts his eyes and has one thought in his stone clad brain – Sexy Elves!

Emap pulls out her light flail and examines it for body hair particles. She too sees the Elvan girl's reflection off her steel shield but is too shy to make eye contact.

GF, taking a whiff of his hashish pipe, has just finished a transaction with a few half-orcs involving silver pieces and some herbs. He notices the Elvan wizard saying some words but is more interested in what lurks beneath the robes of her clock.

"You should've aimed your magic missiles. Could've hit 5 at a time", GF says as he introduces himself.

BG smiles feeling the high dungeon level compliment. She gets a closer look at GF dressed in sexy studded leather. “I betcha could’ve nailed each with one of those throwing daggers of yours.”

Freddy notices he doesn’t have any daggers visible but does watch the elvan hand slide down his chest.

Suddenly two new half-orcs make an unexpected entrance bumping into GF. BG takes a step backwards. “Is this Elf bitch bothin’ ya brother? Me and my fat friend here say we should fuck dem Elves up. I’d slay them all if I didn’t pull my back humpin’ my tubby friend’s goblin momma. Isn’t dat right Silent Bob? (Pause) Ah…fuck it…don’t answer.”

GF grabs half-orc Jay’s hand and twists it behind his back. He produces a dagger that is posed against Jay’s neck. His silent partner pulls his sword out.

Jay begins to panic. “Come on GF dude. Don’t fuckin’ stab me. Look here’s the pouch I tried to swipe from you.” Jay produces a pouch. “Just keep it and your smelly Elf babe.”

GF lets Jay go. “See ya at the guild meeting dudes.”

Jay shoots GF two middle fingers and walks away with his life-partner just as several of the town’s guards drop by. The leader looks at the group and speaks to his men. “Round them up men. The King needs a few patsy’s”.

GF, BG, Carney and Emap are tied up and lead into the county dungeon. They are thrown into a cell and told the King will see them in the morning concerning some volunteer adventure thingy.

Down bellow they get to know one another…

“I wouldn’t suppose you have some thief tools to break us out of here?” Carney asks of GF.

GF pulls open his heavy backpack and besides a lot of bags of herbs, some tinderweed, some rolling papers, he seems to be empty. “Sorry dwarf-man. At least we can get high.”

Emap in the meantime begins removing her armor in sections as 3 pairs of eyes pretend not to stare but can’t avoid stopping the drool. Some cheers can be heard from both sides of the wall. A passing guard 0 level Bard starts wailing out some Joe Cocker “leave your hat on (or whatever that’s called)” to a karaoke machine.

GF passes a joint to his cellmates. “I tell ya this sure beats paying rent.”

Carney taking a puff “us dwarves are professionals at getting stoned ya know?”

BG exhales some ganja smoke revealing dancing stripper catnip “this may not be gnome illusionist shit, but its still good stuff.”

Emap is reluctant at first but after being encouraged she chants some spell and tokes up.

GF asks about the spell and Emap says it was to give her a –1 on her saving throw. “You failed!” GF says as Emap falls on the dungeon floor giggling.

Suddenly everyone starts to laugh.

GF begins to get personal “Ya know when I was just starting out at thieves school, my mom she’d kill me if I brought home a cooper piece. One day I was really having no luck and it was getting close to Cartoon network “Ben 10” time, and I was still striking out, when I saw this stupid dwarf and I stole his pouch and I got a freekin’ gem. I went home and like hell I was gonna give my mom dat gem, so I just stood there and dad gone gave me a beatin’.

Everyone laughs but Carney with an ever-serious look on his face. “Think your funny rogue? Well one day my pappa went into town to buy some armor and when he got there he discovered that his gem was missin’. Ended up that he went into battle in some cheap leather hide shit and got cut up by some weak ass blind kobold.”

BG looks at GF. ”Holy mother of Merlin! Next you be tellin’ us you blew the cash on drugs and smutty drow porn”

“So you’re a mind reader too?” GF responds as he pulls out some shades so as not to see the dwarf punch hit him in the face.

Emap getting up looks at the dwarf and offers some words of wisdom “You know if you loosen your armor a bit you’ll have more room to jerk off.”

Carney pulling his free hand out looks GF in the eyes ‘I was just fuckin’ with ya GF”

GF suddenly exhales a blast of smoke as the group all fall over laughing.

Emap jumps in. “When I was just deciding to be a cleric my mom wanted me to be a druid. She sent me to this Druid camp. I remember one day it was like so embarrassing. Well as you guys may know from time to time we get these periods and stuff. Anyways here I was in PE and this cheeta started sniffing at my crotch. I tell ya’ I freaked out. I mean what’s with this animal shit? I tried to tell this cheetah to like fuck off, but they just don’t listen.”

BG puts a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “So your mom let you become a cleric after that?”

“Yeah. Turns out the cheetah went crazy and ended up killing a bunch of the other kids. I got expelled.” Emap responds to BG.

The night grows longer as the group of newbee adventurers tells more and more tales of school and life. Soon morning arrives as they are summoned before the King to begin some adventure…

 

[Guest]

*smile*

At first I thought you made me a dwarf and then I would have been insulted.


*grin* MU, elven - yup. Sometimes I went for a half-elf, but my fave character was a full-blood.

Carry on, Fred. *kiss*

 

[emap]

Ummm soon to be released?

Sheesh fred I thought I made it clear, it's going to be a while, honestly as slow as I am this year would be an accomplishment.

 

[mjl2010]

Ummm soon to be released?

Sheesh fred I thought I made it clear, it's going to be a while, honestly as slow as I am this year would be an accomplishment.

As long as it gets submitted within the next 24 hours, we won't bug ya girl.



MJL

 

[emap]

Eat my shorts.

 

[mjl2010]

Eat my shorts.

No Way Girl! You'd tell my wife

MJL

 

[emap]

Wouldn't have to, she would be right here with me watching.

 

[mjl2010]

Wouldn't have to, she would be right here with me watching.

Fine. Threesome it is. You bring the lube and the candy undershorts. I'll eat em right off ya!

MJL

 

[emap]

I come prelubed, and who said you were getting any?

 

[mjl2010]

I come prelubed, and who said you were getting any?

You invited me to eat yer shorts. Unless I'm gettin some, that ain't gonna happen.

 

[emap]

Yes it would, you would eat my shorts and watch me with your wife, if you tried to join us we would both shove you out.

 

[GratefulFred]

(All side dialogue between mjl/emap or anyone else is always recommended)

Take II

The King begins to speak to our rag tag group of randomly picked adventurers.

"Dear brave noble warriors..." the King spoke as an adviser whispered something in his ear.

The king let out a weak cough and continued. "Dear randomly picked adventurers whom have the misfortune of being drafted to tackle the menace of the arch-lich Lord Vecna, while we wait the arrival of another band of 20th level adventurers to replace the last party of 20th level adventurers who apparently have been defeated. You are so charged with occupying the evil demigod's time, taking on whatever torturous fate awaits you, putting on as best a show as possible in the name of King Mortimous J Leonardous (nice initials). If we are lucky Vecna will waste a few 9th level spells on you and we may be able to attack him before he has a chance to reload with them. Before we send you out do you have any questions?"

"Since we are going on a suicide mission, do you think we could get a few magic items to help us?" Carney the dwarf asks.

"Silence you filthy dwarf dog. How dare you speak to the king in such a manner?” one of the guards says.

"Dearest omnipotent god of banging chics, who could slice through a vorporal blade with a swing of his cock, since we are going on a suicide mission, do you think we could get a few magic items to help us?" GF asks.

The King himself decides to answer himself "Excellently worded question. I can tell from your attire that you are a thief who no doubt has such a high dexterity that any armor would be a detriment to your dodging prowess. And with you is a stout dwarf whose night vision is a feat even a King like myself cannot replicate. And I see before a Cleric, a true healer, is in your ranks, whose tender hands can bandage an injured soldier like none other. And if I were to put together a party of four, would I not pick an Elvan wizard, who cannot only cast spells but also perhaps find that secret door, whereupon you may strike at Vecna when he least expects it? Lead these steadfast warriors to the dungeon now."

"Yes my lord", says one of the guards as we are given our weapons and armor back and lead off.

It’s a one-day march as the party is placed to between guards on horseback to insure that no one makes a dash for it. The party gets to talking.

"Hey Carney, no offense but you like kind of weak for a dwarf" Emap infers.

"Well you know before they begin fighter school, they want to see how many pounds you can bench press over your head. They give you a score of between 3 and 18 sort of like rolling dice. I did manage to score a 6, which is sort of bellow par but when no one was looking I put a 1 in front of it. This got me placed in some dwarvan defender program and due to a mishap I had whereupon my hammer slipped out of my hands and broke or bruised my foot on the first hour of school I was placed in jewelry design school against my will. I would've been a kick ass defender though" Carney responded.

"That reminds me of a story" GF tells "I remember one day in thieves guides school when you have to run this obstacle course and avoid getting hit by these swords. Turns out the night before I was having some wild sex with a few sorority pickpockets and I was in no condition to even walk. I forged my name on one of the students' sheet and finished top of the class. The guild masters were so impressed with my score that they entered me into the dodge ball competition. I can collect on a few silver pieces if I can get out of here as I bet against myself."

BG comes along side GF. "Tell us about your wild sex night GF. I could use a good story as I just recently broke up with some Elf wizard teacher recently."

"So how long were you and el teacho together? GF asks.

"We were just fucking for like 30 years or so. I figured he wasn't gonna break up with his wife and plus his wood was starting to grow soft. I only did him because I was into this teacher/student thing. Now I am totally over it. I want younger guys now" BG tells.

Emap jumps in "I agree 100% with you BG. All those old clerical nuns and priests kept casting "Kneel" command spells on us students all day long. After a while all that old cock and pussy gets to you. I say only young cocks and pussies for us gals.

GF looks puzzled "Uh...where was I? Oh yes...I was with a few GIRL pick pockets Emap and when you got such a great dexterity like us thieves you can try all types of sexual positions. So here I was penetrating them both at the same time..."

"Wait a second GF...there's no way your cock can be in two girls at the same time. That's Bullshit" BG adds in, as everyone looks suspicious.

Emap jumps back in "And didn't you say you were tired the next day?"

Carney rushes to my defense. "Dude. Did their breasts feel like bags of broken up stone?"

To which everyone looked over at Carney. Fortunately for the guys in the party one of the guards told us that we are making camp and they tied us by rope as they got the camp ready.

That night after having some good dinner the four of them are placed in a tent whereupon GF breaks out a joint.

'I hear this Vecna dude is like a 20th level Wizard/Cleric." GF says "We can either get Emapy here to turn his undead ass or Carney to chop off his remaining arm with his dwarvan great axe..."

"Light axe" Carney interrupts.

GF continues. "...Yeah dude. Or we can get sexy BG to bombard him with like a thousand magic missiles. Man I wish I had a video camera to video tape that machine gun action"

Emap notices Carney playing with his beard. She watches as his hands go lower from the corner of her eye. She closes her eyes and imagines having sex with the dwarf, bringing him home to meet her Elf mom and Humana dad, seeing the hatred brewing in her mom’s eyes, imagining the dwarf sleeping in the guest room, imagines herself sneaking to the guest room in the middle of the night and seeing the dwarf getting a blowjob under the covers, and as she pulls up the covers she’s sees her mom! “Wo!”

“Hey Emap are you ok?” Carney says as he passes her the joint.

Emap takes the joint and gives Carney a piece of her mind “Thanks you cheat.”

GF jumps in “Yeah dwarf dude take only your share. Pass the joint around. Hey I just got a thought. Since we are going for this real high level adventure what if we find some Wish ring, What would you wish for?”

Emap passing the joint says, “I would like to be like the most awesome like Cleric. I’d be able to like heal people with my toes.”

“I still have regrets about not making it through defenders school. Once you graduate you get hired like right away and get dental insurance and a pension plan” Carney responds.

GF adds a bit. “I’d like to play some kick ass guitar like this Half-Orc guy “Slash”. The dude rocks. Besides that I think I’d like to be ahead of some thieves guild, but instead of stealin’ stuff, we’d just have parties all night long.”

BG feeling totally ripped tries not paying attention that her robe is open revealing her breasts. “I’d like to visit Key West and walk on Duval Street and get wild at Sloppy Joes.”

Suddenly a long sword comes through the opening as a guard gives the party a mean look. “Will you guys shut the fuck up? We’ve already fought off an invading force of 50 goblins riding on their Worgs and about a dozen bugbears while you guys have been chatting away. The men in our party really would like to hang you now for ignoring our calls for assistance, but since you are taking on Vecna we decided to let you live for now. However, if you make one peep before dawn, we are gonna hang ya. Ya Hear? Now, lights out.”

That night GF and BG huddle up closely as does Carney and Emap. Every time they thought about sex, they heard “Can we hang them. Come on Captain they are making noise.”

Unfortunately the morning arrives and the party is fed rather quickly and brought to the entrance to “The Tomb of Vecna”

Before leaving GF asks, “Hey does anyone have a torch?”

Is this worth continuing?

 

[mjl2010]

(All side dialogue between mjl/emap or anyone else is always recommended)

Thank you Freddy, she is somewhat amusing, but clearly has no clue which makes it... somewhat more amusing.

Is this worth continuing?

Of course it is.

MJL

 

[DarkBee]

Don't you need an Elven Arcane archer/Bard with your party? (wink wink, nudge nudge)

 

[emap]

Yes bring along darkbee, but make him a her, because we all know he wants to be a woman.

mjl, sheesh you ran out of things to say to me? What am I clueless about? Besides say your wife and her willingness to sample another woman and not let you partake of course.

 

[SinningOnlySlightly]

looks like something along the lines of a more adultish Order of the Stick, living in a world where D&D rules are as normal as the laws of physics. Cool.

 

[GratefulFred]

Don't you need an Elven Arcane archer/Bard with your party? (wink wink, nudge nudge)

Well considering that we are subpar 1st level adventurers about to face a threat worse than the module "The Tomb of Horrors" sure you can join in the supposed hopeless cause.

Welcome to our madness SinningOnlySlightly - the funnest place on Lit'. Stick around and don't be shy.

Without Emap's permission and Mjl's concent I do need to put in some panties angle.

 

[DarkBee]

Yes bring along DarkBee, but make him a her, because we all know he wants to be a woman...

Well, duh...

 

[Guest]

Dearest omnipotent god of banging chics, who could slice through a vorporal blade with a swing of his cock, since we are going on a suicide mission, do you think we could get a few magic items to help us?" GF asks

*snigglegiggle*

Good one, Freddylove. Speworthy.

 

[GratefulFred]

(Though I hate to jump into the meat and potatoes portion of any adventure I might as well try my hand at it.)

Take III

The party of adventurers descended 10-feet into the dark dungeon entrance. A torch was given to the pure human GF for as the captain of the guard explained to him, “to see the horror that awaits you.”

Inside this 30’ x 30’ room there is statue of some man with a bow in the center. On the right and left walls are mirrors and on the statue is a message.

Emap reads the message.

“Welcome to Lord Vecna’s abode
Two challenges wait for those whom are bold
Defeat thyself if you can
And your greatest fear shall be close at hand”

GF is first to comment. “Yo BG any secret doors leading out of the dungeon?”

“Nope. I think we should wait ‘til dark than try and slip out” BG responds.

“You’d think there would be some treasure chest in the first room. What type of crappy DM is running this shit anyways?” Carney throws in.

“Guys. Don’t look now but I think we are under attack”, Emap says as out of the mirror come four identical adventurers.

The fake GF leading a bunch of clones addresses the real ones. “We are your diametrically opposed opponents. You will notice that your magic weapons are useless in such a room, but ours are fully functional.”

GF breaking a smile approaches the party of fakes. “You are mistaken my dear good looking friend. My daggers cannot be affected by your wimpy anti-magic spell for they are artifacts forged by Mic Dagger – the Rolling Stone God himself!”

GF pulls out a dagger and scraps the Wal-Mart happy face symbol off as he circles his double.

Carney’s fake rushes forward to attack the real one and lands a critical hit on his first shot. Emap screams. Carney calls over to her not to worry, as the blow didn’t penetrate the armor.

BG’s wizard clone walks from side to side sizing up her opponent. Both girls make purring sounds and attack one another.

Emap sees her Cleric clone and she throws a vial of unholy water in her direction missing by about 80 feet. Emap dodging for cover throws one back and hits about 5 feet behind her.

Back to the thieves duel. The fake GF moves to the left and swings missing by a mile. GF counters with a blow that missed by just a quarter of a century. After several more miss swings the two have run out of strength and call it a draw. Plus after seeing BG and the fake tear at each other’s clothes the two sit down and toke up.

Carney, in the meantime, seems to be having no trouble hitting his clone and visa versa but with strength considerations neither one seems to be doing damage to the other. Suddenly the two notice the elf maidens dueling it out and decide to join the GFs on the sidelines.

Emap in the meantime is keeping her distance from the clone. Neither one seems to be willing to get within 10 feet of the other. Finally the two notice the elves and decide mutually to join the others.

BG in the meantime is tearing into her opponent with claws out. Both girls are totally nude. Drop kicks, face slaps, twisting nipple moves, mechanical claw maneuvers, Spock holds, figure fours, and more…

After twenty minutes the fakes start to fade away as the spell has expired. BG’s clone whispers “I love you” as she fades away.

Emap rushes over to the injured BG and GF and Carney ask if they can help. Emap tells them no. Emap kisses BG’s wounds and applies tongue in all sensitive areas.

“Does this make you feel better?” Emap asks.

“A little lower” BG responds still faking unconsciousness.

GF tries to join in but Emap pulls her flail and threatens him. “Back you troll. I won’t lose her on my watch”.

Carney and GF watch the hot action for some 10 minutes as Emap instructs BG to suck of her healing pussy nectar and BG does. After another 10 minutes Emap’s body quakes and both girls feel fully revived.

The girls with that horny look on their face walk towards GF and Carney. However before they can do anything the other mirror begins to stir.

“Oh shit my 3rd grade teacher!” shouts Carney as his greatest fear has come to being.

GF crumbles to his knees “Not Country music!” as Garth Brooks emerges with a guitar.

BG sees a roach on the ground and runs away.

Emap sees some ugly nun with some liquid dripping down between her legs.

GF in panic crushes the roach. Carney knocks into Garth Brooks and his guitar gets stuck in his beard. GF seeing his opportunity stabs Garth with a non-lethal blow to the butt. BG trips the 3rd grade dwarvan teacher and the nun seems about ready to force Emap to suck at her smelly snatch. Garth Brooks limping away bumps into the nun and all the greatest fears the adventurers have had vanish.

“Geez” GF retorts, “You’d think Vecna would at least know how to rock! if Country music is the best he can pull off I am passing on any magical bard items he might have stashed.”

“Abso-fuckin-lutely!” BG exclaims as she plants a kiss upon GF.

Carney gets one as well from Emap.

“Thank you so much for freeing me” comes a voice from the statue location. “My name is Darkbee and I am at your service.

GF and Carney pull out their weapons. “Speak up statue man or we will slay you where you stand”

“Yeah. I sense a trap. Let’s skin ‘im,” Carney says as he applies some scotch tape to his dented light axe.

“Wait. I was turned to stone some hundred years ago. You are the first warriors to ever make it by these deadly feats. I am eternally in your debt.” Darkbee responds.

“I think she’s hot. Let’s keep her”, BG says as GF feels a bit of jealousy.

Emap has a puzzled look on her face. “Hold on a sec. I think Darkbee’s a guy. Darkbee what are you?”

“I am not sure?” Darkbee responds as he pulls down his pants revealing some tight fitting cursed to never be taken off panties. Camel Toe? Little Cock? Don’t change that bat channel.

(sorry for the Dungeon intensive nature of this post. I got carried away in plot details. I'll do better next time.)

 

[Guest]

(Though I hate to jump into the meat and potatoes portion of any adventure I might as well try my hand at it.)

Take III

The party of adventurers descended 10-feet into the dark dungeon entrance. A torch was given to the pure human GF for as the captain of the guard explained to him, “to see the horror that awaits you.”

Inside this 30’ x 30’ room there is statue of some man with a bow in the center. On the right and left walls are mirrors and on the statue is a message.

Emap reads the message.

“Welcome to Lord Vecna’s abode
Two challenges wait for those whom are bold
Defeat thyself if you can
And your greatest fear shall be close at hand”

GF is first to comment. “Yo BG any secret doors leading out of the dungeon?”

“Nope. I think we should wait ‘til dark than try and slip out” BG responds.

“You’d think there would be some treasure chest in the first room. What type of crappy DM is running this shit anyways?” Carney throws in.

“Guys. Don’t look now but I think we are under attack”, Emap says as out of the mirror come four identical adventurers.

The fake GF leading a bunch of clones addresses the real ones. “We are your diametrically opposed opponents. You will notice that your magic weapons are useless in such a room, but ours are fully functional.”

GF breaking a smile approaches the party of fakes. “You are mistaken my dear good looking friend. My daggers cannot be affected by your wimpy anti-magic spell for they are artifacts forged by Mic Dagger – the Rolling Stone God himself!”

GF pulls out a dagger and scraps the Wal-Mart happy face symbol off as he circles his double.

Carney’s fake rushes forward to attack the real one and lands a critical hit on his first shot. Emap screams. Carney calls over to her not to worry, as the blow didn’t penetrate the armor.

BG’s wizard clone walks from side to side sizing up her opponent. Both girls make purring sounds and attack one another.

Emap sees her Cleric clone and she throws a vial of unholy water in her direction missing by about 80 feet. Emap dodging for cover throws one back and hits about 5 feet behind her.

Back to the thieves duel. The fake GF moves to the left and swings missing by a mile. GF counters with a blow that missed by just a quarter of a century. After several more miss swings the two have run out of strength and call it a draw. Plus after seeing BG and the fake tear at each other’s clothes the two sit down and toke up.

Carney, in the meantime, seems to be having no trouble hitting his clone and visa versa but with strength considerations neither one seems to be doing damage to the other. Suddenly the two notice the elf maidens dueling it out and decide to join the GFs on the sidelines.

Emap in the meantime is keeping her distance from the clone. Neither one seems to be willing to get within 10 feet of the other. Finally the two notice the elves and decide mutually to join the others.

BG in the meantime is tearing into her opponent with claws out. Both girls are totally nude. Drop kicks, face slaps, twisting nipple moves, mechanical claw maneuvers, Spock holds, figure fours, and more…

After twenty minutes the fakes start to fade away as the spell has expired. BG’s clone whispers “I love you” as she fades away.

Emap rushes over to the injured BG and GF and Carney ask if they can help. Emap tells them no. Emap kisses BG’s wounds and applies tongue in all sensitive areas.

“Does this make you feel better?” Emap asks.

“A little lower” BG responds still faking unconsciousness.

GF tries to join in but Emap pulls her flail and threatens him. “Back you troll. I won’t lose her on my watch”.

Carney and GF watch the hot action for some 10 minutes as Emap instructs BG to suck of her healing pussy nectar and BG does. After another 10 minutes Emap’s body quakes and both girls feel fully revived.

The girls with that horny look on their face walk towards GF and Carney. However before they can do anything the other mirror begins to stir.

“Oh shit my 3rd grade teacher!” shouts Carney as his greatest fear has come to being.

GF crumbles to his knees “Not Country music!” as Garth Brooks emerges with a guitar.

BG sees a roach on the ground and runs away.

Emap sees some ugly nun with some liquid dripping down between her legs.

GF in panic crushes the roach. Carney knocks into Garth Brooks and his guitar gets stuck in his beard. GF seeing his opportunity stabs Garth with a non-lethal blow to the butt. BG trips the 3rd grade dwarvan teacher and the nun seems about ready to force Emap to suck at her smelly snatch. Garth Brooks limping away bumps into the nun and all the greatest fears the adventurers have had vanish.

“Geez” GF retorts, “You’d think Vecna would at least know how to rock! if Country music is the best he can pull off I am passing on any magical bard items he might have stashed.”

“Abso-fuckin-lutely!” BG exclaims as she plants a kiss upon GF.

Carney gets one as well from Emap.

“Thank you so much for freeing me” comes a voice from the statue location. “My name is Darkbee and I am at your service.

GF and Carney pull out their weapons. “Speak up statue man or we will slay you where you stand”

“Yeah. I sense a trap. Let’s skin ‘im,” Carney says as he applies some scotch tape to his dented light axe.

“Wait. I was turned to stone some hundred years ago. You are the first warriors to ever make it by these deadly feats. I am eternally in your debt.” Darkbee responds.

“I think she’s hot. Let’s keep her”, BG says as GF feels a bit of jealousy.

Emap has a puzzled look on her face. “Hold on a sec. I think Darkbee’s a guy. Darkbee what are you?”

“I am not sure?” Darkbee responds as he pulls down his pants revealing some tight fitting cursed to never be taken off panties. Camel Toe? Little Cock? Don’t change that bat channel.

(sorry for the Dungeon intensive nature of this post. I got carried away in plot details. I'll do better next time.)

Bisesual and a narcissist..*grin*

Camel cock, perhaps?

 

[mjl2010]

mjl, sheesh you ran out of things to say to me? What am I clueless about? Besides say your wife and her willingness to sample another woman and not let you partake of course.

thinks to himself "Should I or shouldn't I? That is the question MJ. Really, you know you shouldn't. Let her have the last word before you get bored with her."

Smiles at emap Do a little reading emap. The one and only hint I'll give you, clueless little girl.

MJL

 

[rydia57]

thinks to himself "Should I or shouldn't I? That is the question MJ. Really, you know you shouldn't. Let her have the last word before you get bored with her."

Smiles at emap Do a little reading emap. The one and only hint I'll give you, clueless little girl.

MJL

Fred... sometimes words just can't explain, sigh. It's rare to find a good d&d story, that's what I was hoping for emap. If you do it again, I wanna be a red mage! This is something i can read into. Might hurt tho.

 

[GratefulFred]

Fred... sometimes words just can't explain, sigh. It's rare to find a good d&d story, that's what I was hoping for emap. If you do it again, I wanna be a red mage! This is something i can read into. Might hurt tho.

Red Mage? I'm sure that's something that can be worked out.

Second wind is coming on strong.

 

[GratefulFred]

Take IV

“Listen Darky or whatever your name is, maybe we can use you to break out of this dungeon. We really don’t have any beef with this Vecna guy so do you think you could slay like about 20 guards waiting at the entrance?” GF says as he puts a hand around Darkbee’s shoulder.

Carney adds a bit of his mind as well. “Yeah. I mean we did free you from captivity. Take out those 20 guards and we’ll call it even.”

BG however brings up a relevant fact. “Guys the entrance way has vanished and there’s no secret door.”

“Damn I forgot my electric hairdryer. These humid dungeons are terrible for a girls hair,” Emap admits as she works on some newly formed knots.

“I will fight alongside you my friends if you will aid me in my cause of discovering my sexuality?” Darkbee responds as the rest of the adventurers seem to look the other way.

With Darkbee in the lead and the rest of the party some 20- 100 feet behind the party goes into room number 2.

Description: A female mage dressed in all red animates in the center of some evil house of worship. Demonic signs are around the room. She wields a golden jagged shaped dagger and is positioned behind a sacrificial table that has four handcuffs around each corner. A fire pit is in front of the table.

The lady in red begins to speak. “I am Princess Rydia, arch-servant and mage of Lord Vecna and either one of you must sacrifice themselves willingly or I will kill all of you. What do you choose?”

GF calls for a huddle and the group gathers together.

“Nice tits GF. I think you could get a good grab before she plunges the knife into you” Carney says.

GF takes a look over and smiles as Carney. “Yeah but I’m still a bit week after last night with the two pickpockets.”

“Hold it GF, you were with us last night. And we almost had sex so stop rehashing stories” BG says with a smile.

Emap has a suggestion. “I could make a fake effort to bring you back from the dead. I mean look at those tits she’s got”

GF meanwhile is looking at Emaps’. Maybe I could jump her and we could all hold her down and we’d all get a chance to grab her tits. Come on BG, what do you say?”

BG looks over at the lady in red and bits her upper lip. “Yeah let’s go for it. I mean while feeling her up she’d be hard pressed to concentrating on spells.”

Darkbee in the meantime isn’t quite sure. “I’m not sure. I mean I could probably kill her with some slaying arrow. Why don’t we just kill her?”

Carney makes circular movements and BG licks her tongue. GF shows some hip action and Emap fingers herself.

“OK but if things start going bad I’m shooting” Darkbee responds.

The huddle is over and GF steps forward. “I am willing to sacrifice…Carney”. GF points in Carney’s direction.

Carney has a shocked look on his face. “But I am not human and the thief seems the only one fit as a human sacrifice”

BG and Emap step back. “Later GF. I was nice almost fuckin’ ya”

GF finds his arms held by some magical fist. Carney, BG and Emap are making their way out of the room.

Darkbee has pulled out his arrow. A wave of Princess Rydia’s hand and Darkbee is thrown against the far wall.

GF is carried effortlessly by an unseen servant type and placed down on the sacrificial table. GF makes a last ditch effort lunge for a breast squeeze and is stopped in mid grab by a handcuff. The handcuffs have locked him down on the table.

“Ah so it seems before dying you wanted to feel me up. I guess I might as well not disappoint you” Princess Rydia says with a sly grin as she pulls apart her robe.

BG, Emap, and Carney are peeking from the outer room as they watch Princess Rydia now naked make a hand motion over GF as his clothes and back pack fly off into the fire. Darkbee is snoozing in the corner with a thumb in his mouth and a teddy bear in his arms.

“Carney you should do something. Be a man” BG says.

“Why send Carney BG. You got the hots for the thiefaroo. I say you go and scratch her eyes out” Emap says as she grabs Carney’s hand.

BG rubs her hands in Carney’s beard. “I say we share the dwarf. GF’s toast anyways.”

Meanwhile Princess Rydia decides to take her sweet time with the sacrifice. She gets on top of GF and rides her victim. “Oh this feels so good. You have been a bad boy. Momma’s gonna cut you up with this dagger.

GF looks up at the Princess. “Like did ah someone just set my stash on fire?” Ganja smoke by now has filled up the whole chamber.

The Princess starts giggling uncontrollably while fucking GF. GF shifts his body weight and she falls off into the fire giggling all the way.

BG rushes over and kisses GF. She gets upon him and the two make some wild love for the first time this whole story. Emap and Carney start having sex as well. They announce afterwards that this was actually their third time but they didn't let the author of this story in on the details. Darkbee is still sleeping this time on his head.

GF’s handcuffs have vanished and though he is feeling the locomotive elf fill him up he spots a joint out of the corner of his eye next to the fire and reaches for it. A red hand grabs his and knocks it away. Princess Rydia now sprouting two shiny new horns on her head has emerged, takes the joints and smiles. “Killer stuff” she says as she descends once again.

The two couples and the sexual challenged Elf have survived their second ordeal. What challenges await them next?