A Pornster's Revenge

[McKenna]

I just got one of those calls that starts with an automated voice saying, "Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be right with you."

WTF?

First of all, don't call ME and then ask me to wait for you to give me your spiel about God knows what.

Secondly, it's 8:15 PM on a Friday. Don't you have better things to do? Actually, don't I?!

The sad thing is, I've been getting these calls every night for the past week. Usually I just hang up and forget about it, but tonight, I got my revenge.

As soon as I heard the automated voice, I set the phone down by my computer speakers and turned up the volume. Then, I found the noisiest, nastiest porn flick I could find, and turned it on.



I wonder if they'll be calling again?

 

[The_Fool]

I just got one of those calls that starts with an automated voice saying, "Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be right with you."

WTF?

First of all, don't call ME and then ask me to wait for you to give me your spiel about God knows what.

Secondly, it's 8:15 PM on a Friday. Don't you have better things to do? Actually, don't I?!

The sad thing is, I've been getting these calls every night for the past week. Usually I just hang up and forget about it, but tonight, I got my revenge.

As soon as I heard the automated voice, I set the phone down by my computer speakers and turned up the volume. Then, I found the noisiest, nastiest porn flick I could find, and turned it on.



I wonder if they'll be calling again?

Damn....I thought that was really you getting it on....

 

[Katyusha]

\As soon as I heard the automated voice, I set the phone down by my computer speakers and turned up the volume. Then, I found the noisiest, nastiest porn flick I could find, and turned it on.



I wonder if they'll be calling again?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I'll have to remember that...I've been getting those calls lately myself.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

McK, I used to get three or four calls every night for some little chippy named Melissa. Who she was I don't know, but all the calls were from guys.

One night I'd had enough so when the phone rang, I answered. The guy on the other end said, "Is Melissa there?"

I responded, "Yeah. But she's busy. You can come over though. There are only eight guys in line ahead of you."

I didn't get any more calls after that. :d

 

[McKenna]

Damn....I thought that was really you getting it on....

The flick featured two men. Definitely not me!

 

[McKenna]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I'll have to remember that...I've been getting those calls lately myself.

This public service announcement brought to you by the letter "P" for porn, and the number "5" for the number of calls I've received this week.

 

[McKenna]

McK, I used to get three or four calls every night for some little chippy named Melissa. Who she was I don't know, but all the calls were from guys.

One night I'd had enough so when the phone rang, I answered. The guy on the other end said, "Is Melissa there?"

I responded, "Yeah. But she's busy. You can come over though. There are only eight guys in line ahead of you."

I didn't get any more calls after that. :d

Bwhahahah! Good one!

 

[The_Fool]

The flick featured two men. Definitely not me!

No you are definately not a man....

 

[TE999]

I just got one of those calls that starts with an automated voice saying, "Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be right with you."

WTF?

First of all, don't call ME and then ask me to wait for you to give me your spiel about God knows what.

Secondly, it's 8:15 PM on a Friday. Don't you have better things to do? Actually, don't I?!

The sad thing is, I've been getting these calls every night for the past week. Usually I just hang up and forget about it, but tonight, I got my revenge.

As soon as I heard the automated voice, I set the phone down by my computer speakers and turned up the volume. Then, I found the noisiest, nastiest porn flick I could find, and turned it on.



I wonder if they'll be calling again?

Hahahahaha!

Mahvelous, dahling, mahvelous!

If they do call back tell 'em it's twenty bucks for the first minute and ten for each minute thereafter.

All major credit cards accepted.

 

[McKenna]

If they do call back tell 'em it's twenty bucks for the first minute and ten for each minute thereafter.

All major credit cards accepted.

OMG! I love the way you think!

 

[neonlyte]

We got a load of those calls just before Christmas, my usual response is 'Not buying' and putting the phone down. One night we got into a pissing contest - the young lady decided she wasn't going to take no for an answer and rang three time within a couple of minutes. The last time I just left the call open and put the phone on the table whilst we got on with dinner. The connection was open for a couple of hours... she was furious, we could hear her shouting and trying to disconnect the call from her end. She hasn't called since

 

[GratefulFred]

You guys are lucky compared to me and my telemarketing situation. I picked up an 800 line for my website that runs accross my vonage VOIP american line. The company that had it before me still hasn't removed this number from their website so 1) I get calls from customers looking to buy and 2) I get calls from angry customers complaining that they got ripped off and 3) I get calls from credit card answering machines asking me to call back to which they naturally don't answer. Of course I end up paying for all those inbound calls.

The worse part about it, is that I live in a time zone 7 hours ahead of eastern standard time zone so most of the calls come in during the wee hour.

If anyone does get ripped off, please keep your comments to less than a minute please!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There are creative people out there who have a lot of fun with callers.

The best I ever heard involved a carpet cleaning company. the call went something like this:

"Hullo?"
"My name is Fred. I'm with ACME carpet cleaning service. One of our representatives will be..."
"Oh! God! I'm saved! Fred! Can you get your guy over here...like right now?"
"Uh...I'll have to check."
"Fred! Get your guy over here right now and I'll double whatever you charge! Can you help me, buddy?"
"Uh...I dont know."
"Hey, Fred? Can you guys remove blood stains? Man! I got a bunch of blood...in the carpet, on the sofa, in the drapes. Do you do drapes?"
"Uh..I'll get back to you, I need to go."
"Whoa! Hold on! Fred! Man I need you!"
"I think I better go."
"Hey Fred! It's legal to stab someone, I mean, if theyre in your house, right?"
dial tone.

 

[GratefulFred]

Well I guess us Fred's are at both ends of the spectrum. Thanks for the encouragement JJ.

 

[scheherazade_79]

I just got one of those calls that starts with an automated voice saying, "Please stay on the line and a customer service representative will be right with you."

WTF?

First of all, don't call ME and then ask me to wait for you to give me your spiel about God knows what.

Secondly, it's 8:15 PM on a Friday. Don't you have better things to do? Actually, don't I?!

The sad thing is, I've been getting these calls every night for the past week. Usually I just hang up and forget about it, but tonight, I got my revenge.

As soon as I heard the automated voice, I set the phone down by my computer speakers and turned up the volume. Then, I found the noisiest, nastiest porn flick I could find, and turned it on.



I wonder if they'll be calling again?

You rock!

 

[oggbashan]

In the UK you can get a free service Telephone Preference Service that stops almost all cold calling.

Unfortunately it doesn't cover calls made from outside the UK so some call centres call from the US, India, etc still get through.

Og

 

[cheerful_deviant]

A few years ago I bought one of those musak things that you plug into your phone. It plays music while a person is on hold. (Gotta love ebay )

I loaded it up with Zamfir Rocks the Elevator (OK, so that wasn't really the title of the CD, but you get the idea). When a marketer calls I string them along for a minute the "Oh, I have a call on the other line, hold on a sec..." *click*

Then wait for the 'Hold' light to go off. One of them laste almost 10 minutes before taking the hint.

 

[jomar]

There are creative people out there who have a lot of fun with callers.

The best I ever heard involved a carpet cleaning company. the call went something like this:

"Hullo?"
"My name is Fred. I'm with ACME carpet cleaning service. One of our representatives will be..."
"Oh! God! I'm saved! Fred! Can you get your guy over here...like right now?"
"Uh...I'll have to check."
"Fred! Get your guy over here right now and I'll double whatever you charge! Can you help me, buddy?"
"Uh...I dont know."
"Hey, Fred? Can you guys remove blood stains? Man! I got a bunch of blood...in the carpet, on the sofa, in the drapes. Do you do drapes?"
"Uh..I'll get back to you, I need to go."
"Whoa! Hold on! Fred! Man I need you!"
"I think I better go."
"Hey Fred! It's legal to stab someone, I mean, if theyre in your house, right?"
dial tone.

And then there's the one where an alarm company salesman calls and the callee pretends to be a burglar and goes on to say 'these folks really need your system, man, I got in easy, send a brochure" and what not.

 

[DesertPirate]

Since most are calling on an 800 line it is best to put them on hold and run up the bill

A compressed air powered boat horn is next best, hard to call with a ruptured eardrum

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think 800 numbers are a fixed amount with no time limit. Most long distance is a pittance anymore.

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

Thanks for the laugh!!!!! You so rock!!!

 

[MagicaPractica]

OMG! You people are SOOOO funny. I'm on a do not call registry so I don't get many but have gotten a rash from a credit card company I do business with. I'm polite but firm and hang up. What I really hate are the automated calls that start giving you a message. It's just so.... fucking annoying.

 

[scriptordelecto]

Way to go McKenna!

Hahahahaha!

Mahvelous, dahling, mahvelous!

If they do call back tell 'em it's twenty bucks for the first minute and ten for each minute thereafter.

All major credit cards accepted.

And I LOVE you, Tom! Y'all are hysterical.

 

[adetaildiva]

I so wanna be like all y'all when I grow up!!!

 

[DesertPirate]

I think 800 numbers are a fixed amount with no time limit. Most long distance is a pittance anymore.

I hope not, but it still ties up a line so they can't annoy anyone else