The quintisential Lit Personal- (And the Reality behind the scenes)

Needfull Thing

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Jan 24, 2006
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Personal # 1

The Pitch
I'm a fit, athletic 42 year old male with a 9'' cock and a 6 figure income, looking for a younger woman to please and take care of.

The Truth
I'm a 42 year old investment banker in the midst of my mid-life crisis, with a healthy supply of viagra, looking for a little college slut to be my new mistress, possibly my trade-up trophy wife. Must suck cock and let me cum in her hair.

Personal # 2

The Pitch
19 year old college football stud, looking for horny nympho to rock and roll all night! Let me put it IN you baby!

The Truth
19 year old pale, pimply faced virgin looking for a girl to show me how to do it. Be Warned: Premature ejaculation a good possibility

Personal #3

The Pitch
Hey boys, I'm new to this sexy sweetie wants to suck on your big hot sausage. Only the extra thick and long ones need apply. *giggles* I am such a slut for big ones! PM me for my yahoo :kiss:

The Truth
I'm Possibly a man, but you will never know. I am looking for attention and will cream myself when fifty guys reply to this thread. I probably will never respond. I've got other accounts for that.


Personal #4

The Pitch
Hi lit, I'm new to this. f/18/Ca, looking for chat or maybe more. Hopefully some really hot, sweet guy will reply and we can have something long-term. Pics in my profile!:heart:

The Truth
I am a 15 year old girl looking for a cyber daddy. You will probably be arrested for talking to me someday but I'll find others when you're gone.

Personal #5

The Pitch
Hello all, I'm a 36 year old divorced male, looking for some honesty. Played the games and been burned a time or two, now I just want to talk to someone real. I like good books and good conversation, play jazz piano and cook. If you are an intelligent, mature woman who knows what she wants, PM me.

The Truth
I'm still married, though we might be separated because I cheated on her. I'm looking to seduce anything with a tight wet hole. Any resemblance to a relationship, real or imagined, is completely fictional.

Personal #6

The Pitch
Shy girl seeks nice boy to spend time with. I like to go out and dance, so you'll need to be able to keep up with me. I'm very creative, so you need to have an imagination also. When I'm not at the club I am at home, wanting to cuddle on the couch, so be willing to show affection. Please be educated and polite.
I'll post a pic if you ask me nicely.

The Truth
I am in no way looking for anyone. I will not reply to you unless you somehow shock me into doing so and then will be as emotionally distant as possible. I will post about a thousand pics, just to show off and tease you. You will never get to touch this beautiful body, but you better make me feel wanted when I put myself down and seek attention. You will not please me unless you are the Worlds Most Perfect Clone of Myself.


(For the record, this is a vast generalization, real people do exist here I am sure. I'm sure I can come up with more, will post later)
 
lol thank you i needed that. and some of those are very true. others well lol just look at me:D
 
I loved the personal ads. I always tell people there are three levels starting a relationship with someone on line:

Level 1: chatting, you can't see what else they are doing, while chatting with them, you can't tell what tone of voice they are using when they type something, so you don't know how they meant it

Level 2: talking with them on the phone, at least you can hear their voice, but you still don't know what they are doing as you talk with them Yes you can have wonderful hours of conversation, but you don't see them in their world.

Level 3: meeting with them in person.. Anyone can be on there best behavior for the weekend or week. their house will be clean everything in its place, but you still don't see them after they have had a hard day at work, because with you there, they will be so happy to see you, but that will wear off soon enough. Plus if you do get serious, you should have a background check done on them including a credit report. trust me it will be worth the several hundred dollars you will spend.. If after you tell them your going to have a background check run on them they start to hem and haw, save your money and ask them to leave your life.. they are hiding something. like they are still married, their credit sucks, and they did 1-3 in jail..
lol thank you i needed that. and some of those are very true. others well lol just look at me:D
 
mm very true but also with the chatting is WEB CAMS lol if you have one that is i chat like that with a few gents and its fun tho i wish i could join them in caming:)
 
Hey Vixin, glad to have helped. :)

Quantumhealer...umm...well. I am a cynic but I doubt I would go so far as to do a background check on someone. I would end up doing BG checks on everyone I meet online or off.
 
Lol that is all too freaking funny and so true too. I've gone through several of those stereo types since I've been here on lit. I'd like to think I've made it past that but we are all a stereo type in one way or another anyhow. .
 
this is one that i have seen


wanted a older women for younger man i know how to please the ladys but the ones my age dont under stand my skills


18 year old virgin wanting a suger mama to milk for all hes worth
 
Lol that is all too freaking funny and so true too. I've gone through several of those stereo types since I've been here on lit. I'd like to think I've made it past that but we are all a stereo type in one way or another anyhow. .

Yes, I suppose we all are Tricky. I wonder what my personal would be...

Personal #7

The Pitch
Looking for women age 18-30, who are into creativity and imagination. Only looking for a net buddy to start but if you live close enough, might be willing to try for more. Looks and age truly do not matter to me! Just be intelligent and open minded.

The Truth
I just got home from the bar, struck out again and I am sitting here naked with a bag of weed and some whiskey, looking for some nasty, kinky cyber
 
Lol to be completely honest your personal # 6 probably came the closest to home for me. Not exactly but eerily close.... How sad that is for me heh.
 
Lol to be completely honest your personal # 6 probably came the closest to home for me. Not exactly but eerily close.... How sad that is for me heh.

*sympathetic smile* We're none of us perfect human beings. The very words Perfect Human Being, they are a contradiction in terms. But people feel free to post your own personal ad. Tell it like it is.
 
?

I have never quiet understood why a guy would want to pretend to be a girl and get lots of replies from guys telling him about their cock or what they would do to him (her). There are plenty of threads for any bi (which by the way I think is hot) or gay curiosity and plenty of stories to read about any kind of sex if they wanted to get off.

Am I missing something?
 
yes they are scared out of their minds about what they are thinking they dont know what else to do or how to deal with it
 
yes they are scared out of their minds about what they are thinking they dont know what else to do or how to deal with it

You know that might very well be it. Unlike for women, men who are attracted to other men are generally not accepted. But I think in the example I gave its more a situation where the guy just gets off on fooling people. Its the cruelty of deceit that turns him on. Knowing that he has all of these horny jack asses jerking off to some mystery woman that does not even exist. There are people like that.
 
mm true they are the ones that hit ladys and are Doms the the ones that hit suck ass and the Doms if they are good do it couse they get good Subs
 
This is great! Like most of us, you definitely have too much free time at your hands! :D

I think I am Personal Nr. 6. ;)
 
yes that would be and perhaps they are working to be comfortable as a transgendered person..

That is very interesting to me...I havent bothered to play a woman here on lit, other than for a while I had a cross-dresser ID for my femme side that I thought made it clear that I was not natl born female. (not that that cut down on the "hey baby" pm's I got...hell I was a guy in a dress and a wig, and no make-up ar the time!)

What struck me though, and bear with me..when I did pose as a woman, this was years ago on a site called "the globe", I felt it was a good device to get bi-women to send me their pics...I actually did get a fair number of pics, any number of which were likely guys posing as girls too..:)

Looking back I wonder if there were some trans gendered feelings about it as I slipped into that role. At the time I would not have self-identified as a transvestite. I was not in denial about liking the feel of satin or nylon against my skin but frankly, I was scared about what it meant. I didn't know then that better than 1/2 of crossdressers are likely fully hetero, and less than 5% are only gay, with some confused shades of Bi in between..

food for thought.
 
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