Act like a dog, and Ill treat you like one!

[unfoundiamond]

Another thread ("My Domme Side") reminded me of my own dog and leash expirience...

I have mixed feelings after a misunderstanding, but if my puppy is reading, don't worry... I am not mad... but,
To everyone have to get this all out.... so get some popcorn and park it. Then tell me if you think I was wrong in how I handled it.

I would never turn down the offer to hold someones leash... So he offered, and I thought it would be fun, I didn't see it as a collar, but more of a dog collar, and a dog leash.... To ME, this is not as symbolic, and the wearer must know...

A dog, is a dog....

You wanna pet my dog?, Sure!, isn't he cute... he's a good dog... Oh, you wanna hold his leash... (for a minute, maybe lead him into the next room as we all walk together... just to see what it feels like... Sure, friend... its just a dog...

A pet, a possession, Basically here for my enjoyment... not to call the shots... (or try...)

We walk into the club, and I allow him to actually put the dog collar on, since there have been incidences where perfectly straight goth kids have been attacked on the way to this club, I decided since it was my night, I didn't want any distractions, or drama.

In case of emergency I though I could always take one of my 6 inch, Diamond and Lace, spiked heels off and shishkebob an attackers eye...but I didn't wanna ruin my makeup...

I was pleased with my little back mini dress, underdressed by a black corset and black thigh high stockings with love seams, (and little black boyshorts, no one saw...)

I hold my dogs leash like its an extension of me, I don't yank my dogs leash, or control his wandering unless he gets too far, I like to allow my dog about a foot of space, maybe two... I don't act like he's not with me or anything... (But... a also don't keep his face to my thigh.... and apparantly, that's a bad thing...)

I am completely enjoying myself at this point... The Club is banging a greatest hits of my childhood, with NIN, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Berlin, The Smiths, Queen, Skinny Puppy, U2, Prince... I mean, I was in heaven...

I had him doing little things for me... Made him get me a drink... had him find a place for him to remove my snagged thigh high stockings, since there was no private place I could remove them myself....

he found a velvet wingback chair, and came quickly back to me, and lead me to it...

I sat down, and turning my knees to the right with my ankles crossed, allowed him to kneel in front of me, I turned my legs back to him after he had knelt, and allowed him the closest he would get to undressing me...

he discreetly (and I was very thankful at this... since I have always had a fetish for keeping my clothes ON in front of strangers) slid his hands under my dress and slid down the stockings one by one, after he had removed my stilettos...

People stared to say the aboslute least... Women loved it... Men where so curious and playing bewildered or they just never stopped staring at me... it was funny...

We sat where he removed my stockings and as he re-strapped my shoes, this cute little goth chic turns to me and comments that she needs a leash for her "bloodbag" as she so lovingly called her stone faced little man, and she asked me where I got it...

I hadn't bought it... so I turned to him and told him to tell her, he did, and as he smiled and acted so... warm to her, I began "misreading" his behavior.

She comments on what a good dog he is... I agreed... She asks to pet him, I oblige her.... and why not, she's cute... and with these tight little breasts... I wasn't sure which I wanted more... her, or her breasts...

She offered to buy me a drink, and asked me to go with, as we stood, she asked if she could lead him...

(okay now she's buying me a drink, and she complimented us and envied the leash so much she almost drooled on me... so I let her... I was right behind, and I also wanted to see what he would do... how good of a dog is he?)

She was overjoyed at the allowance I made her, and she grabbed it, and was off almost skipping, with her friend fighting cooly over who'd get to hold the leash...

I just strutted right behind, keeping a close eye on my little pet, the heels where like a form of bondage, and I truely wasn't completely sure I'd not fall...

We made it to the bar, and I took back my dog. Here's where shit gets all confusing to me...

I have him, leash in hand... and he is looking at her.

She is going between looking and talking to me, and petting him, and generally being cute, he begins to put his face closer to her, almost smelling her, and rubs his face agaist her leg or something...

I don't feel and jealousy... I actually find it cute, and kinda hot, I like her too, and he is generally pleasing me, by being freindly with her,

She asks to kiss my dog...

I again, have no objection, and want to see it,

BUT, remember when I said I must have been misreading him... well here's it this happens...

I like to think of myself as a gracious Master. I am not insecure... I know what I bring to the table, and how irreplaceable my touch is... I don't worry he will stray, he'd regret it anyway...

If I think he really wants to kiss her, I am going to let him, figuring the good old fashioned "yellow" would escape his trap had he a problem with it... but Nope...

he if anything looked like he wanted her attn... he gave her attention, he may have been doing it for a number of reasons... but all I can remember is his flirting with her, so I take that in combination with no safeword type shit, as meaning he wants it.

Of course... I said, and pulled his leash closer...

They kissed, it was hot... I was cool...

She and I drank our "Washington Apples" then I gave him what I hadn't drank of the overly large shot and began to chat about ages...

I was the youngest... At 21, She was 24... and he was over 30... she actually carded him... checked his year of birth and all in disbelief of his age (and quite possibly he and I's age diffrence)

To me... it just made me feel like a badass bitch... (tehehe) and it was giggle-worthy....

She ended up putting her face close to me... like she wanted a kiss... so I reached out and took her by her throat and kissed her, I licked her lips a little and avioded full on contact but, enjoyed touching those tight little breasts... running my hand over her cleavage the last time I kissed her...

We separated from one big group to two smaller ones, and he and I found a place to chat.

Here's where I get told I am not doing what I am suposed to be doing...

Apparantly I am being told how to walk my F*in dog as far as I am concerned... and I figure my little dog better remember that if he doesn't remember that he is there for my pleasure, and to do or not do whatever I tell him, then he has forgotten that the dog doesn't make the rules. The dog shouldn't be flirting with people if he doesn't want me to think he likes them...

I think he expects me to do what I would consider to be humiliating, he wants me to hold his leash so tight, that his head is on my thigh, like "remember who your Master is", but I am not that kind of Master,

I am sure I can do that... but on the first time I have you in a leash, and we are just out... not sceneing...I am not going to play yank the dog with the leash...

I just felt like I was told to do something I hadn't done before, and if some specific tone of posession was expected of me, I should have been told...

I had been disobeyed earlier that day on the phone,

I had specifically asked him to do something, and after him telling me he didn't want me to take another male sub I had met, I should take him, he completely disobeys me,

when I ask him to do something, he ignores me, and does what he was going to do anyway...

I told him he would be punished for that...

So when he kept begging to put his head under my skirt, I told him he shouldn't have disobeyed me earlier...

And No.

He tried hard, and the most he got was a chance to suck my nipples, and as he begged, I reminded him he had kissed a stranger... so he was dirty...

(as a joke mostly... but figured I could play with a little humiliation, as I was feeling domme-ly)

Was this his display of how I knew he acted when I wasn't there... was all I kept thinking...

I was so turned on from the attn to my breasts in the middle of a night club, I was wet and throbbing... but I had to be consistant...

I don't know that I like to be so responsible for someone who doesn't give me ANY reliable insight to their thoughts...

No "yellow, or red", but I am told later that I made him do something he didn't wanna do, and I am suposed to feel bad???

I didn't make him sniff her, and carouse (sp?) with her... I didn't lean in and talk to her super close when she aksed about the leash's origin...

he sent mixed signals, and I was left being told I should let him do this, and not let him do that...

Since when do people not use their body language to convey their inner feelings...

because his body language said it all... (smelling her thigh (pussy?) isn't clue enough?)

I am confused... I am a diverse person, and I draw from a decent amount of expiriences...

I felt like I was told one thing after the fact, and his behavior said another during...

I am dominant sometimes, sure, but not a mindreader....

Sorry for the long ass post,

Thanx in advance! *Muah*

 

[HottieMama]

Ok..i am SUPER confused...

You let him kiss a hottie and he didn't want to but did it anyway and then he was mad about it?

Umm..i think i'm missing something.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Never mind that I'm working on a 400 pages dissertation, I think there's something to be said about concision.

 

[~His Kitten~]

If I hadn't gotten distracted by the hottest of that story I might just have a logical answer for you.

My advice, before you go out again with someone discuss what is acceptable behavior and what isn't so he will know the consequences. Sometimes in situations our common sense goes out the window but rules stick.

 

[Life_Noir]

We walk into the club, and I allow him to actually put the dog collar on, since there have been incidences where perfectly straight goth kids have been attacked on the way to this club, I decided since it was my night, I didn't want any distractions, or drama.

In case of emergency I though I could always take one of my 6 inch, Diamond and Lace, spiked heels off and shishkebob an attackers eye...but I didn't wanna ruin my makeup...




I hadn't bought it... so I turned to him and told him to tell her, he did, and as he smiled and acted so... warm to her, I began "misreading" his behavior.

She comments on what a good dog he is... I agreed... She asks to pet him, I oblige her.... and why not, she's cute... and with these tight little breasts... I wasn't sure which I wanted more... her, or her breasts...

She offered to buy me a drink, and asked me to go with, as we stood, she asked if she could lead him...

(okay now she's buying me a drink, and she complimented us and envied the leash so much she almost drooled on me... so I let her... I was right behind, and I also wanted to see what he would do... how good of a dog is he?)

She was overjoyed at the allowance I made her, and she grabbed it, and was off almost skipping, with her friend fighting cooly over who'd get to hold the leash...

I just strutted right behind, keeping a close eye on my little pet, the heels where like a form of bondage, and I truely wasn't completely sure I'd not fall...

We made it to the bar, and I took back my dog. Here's where shit gets all confusing to me...

I have him, leash in hand... and he is looking at her.

She is going between looking and talking to me, and petting him, and generally being cute, he begins to put his face closer to her, almost smelling her, and rubs his face agaist her leg or something...

I don't feel and jealousy... I actually find it cute, and kinda hot, I like her too, and he is generally pleasing me, by being freindly with her,

She asks to kiss my dog...

I again, have no objection, and want to see it,

BUT, remember when I said I must have been misreading him... well here's it this happens...

I like to think of myself as a gracious Master. I am not insecure... I know what I bring to the table, and how irreplaceable my touch is... I don't worry he will stray, he'd regret it anyway...

If I think he really wants to kiss her, I am going to let him, figuring the good old fashioned "yellow" would escape his trap had he a problem with it... but Nope...

he if anything looked like he wanted her attn... he gave her attention, he may have been doing it for a number of reasons... but all I can remember is his flirting with her, so I take that in combination with no safeword type shit, as meaning he wants it.

Of course... I said, and pulled his leash closer...

They kissed, it was hot... I was cool...

She and I drank our "Washington Apples" then I gave him what I hadn't drank of the overly large shot and began to chat about ages...

I was the youngest... At 21, She was 24... and he was over 30... she actually carded him... checked his year of birth and all in disbelief of his age (and quite possibly he and I's age diffrence)

To me... it just made me feel like a badass bitch... (tehehe) and it was giggle-worthy....

She ended up putting her face close to me... like she wanted a kiss... so I reached out and took her by her throat and kissed her, I licked her lips a little and avioded full on contact but, enjoyed touching those tight little breasts... running my hand over her cleavage the last time I kissed her...

We separated from one big group to two smaller ones, and he and I found a place to chat.

Here's where I get told I am not doing what I am suposed to be doing...

Apparantly I am being told how to walk my F*in dog as far as I am concerned... and I figure my little dog better remember that if he doesn't remember that he is there for my pleasure, and to do or not do whatever I tell him, then he has forgotten that the dog doesn't make the rules. The dog shouldn't be flirting with people if he doesn't want me to think he likes them...

I think he expects me to do what I would consider to be humiliating, he wants me to hold his leash so tight, that his head is on my thigh, like "remember who your Master is", but I am not that kind of Master,

I am sure I can do that... but on the first time I have you in a leash, and we are just out... not sceneing...I am not going to play yank the dog with the leash...

I just felt like I was told to do something I hadn't done before, and if some specific tone of posession was expected of me, I should have been told...

I had been disobeyed earlier that day on the phone,

I had specifically asked him to do something, and after him telling me he didn't want me to take another male sub I had met, I should take him, he completely disobeys me,

when I ask him to do something, he ignores me, and does what he was going to do anyway...

I told him he would be punished for that...

So when he kept begging to put his head under my skirt, I told him he shouldn't have disobeyed me earlier...

And No.

He tried hard, and the most he got was a chance to suck my nipples, and as he begged, I reminded him he had kissed a stranger... so he was dirty...

(as a joke mostly... but figured I could play with a little humiliation, as I was feeling domme-ly)

Was this his display of how I knew he acted when I wasn't there... was all I kept thinking...

I was so turned on from the attn to my breasts in the middle of a night club, I was wet and throbbing... but I had to be consistant...

I don't know that I like to be so responsible for someone who doesn't give me ANY reliable insight to their thoughts...

No "yellow, or red", but I am told later that I made him do something he didn't wanna do, and I am suposed to feel bad???

I didn't make him sniff her, and carouse (sp?) with her... I didn't lean in and talk to her super close when she aksed about the leash's origin...

he sent mixed signals, and I was left being told I should let him do this, and not let him do that...

Since when do people not use their body language to convey their inner feelings... because his body language said it all... (smelling her thigh (pussy?) isn't clue enough?)

I am confused... I am a diverse person, and I draw from a decent amount of expiriences...

I felt like I was told one thing after the fact, and his behavior said another during...

I am dominant sometimes, sure, but not a mindreader....

Sorry for the long ass post,

Thanx in advance! *Muah*

Much as I hate to say it.. Pretty much all the damned time..
No, you don't really get used to it... And it's pretty much a real screaming annoyance every time it happens.
Oh and they always wait till after they have either cooperated, or seemingly enjoyed something to tell you that it exceeeds their limits... *shrug* Get used to it.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

You really should submit this. Then you will able to promote it here with the other aspiring erotica writers

 

[Netzach]

Much as I hate to say it.. Pretty much all the damned time..
No, you don't really get used to it... And it's pretty much a real screaming annoyance every time it happens.
Oh and they always wait till after they have either cooperated, or seemingly enjoyed something to tell you that it exceeeds their limits... *shrug* Get used to it.

Yep.

Which boils down to this: I know him better than he knows himself is always wrong.

If you're wondering what the fuck he's thinking you got to ask him. Sometimes the answers are illuminating and sometimes they're just really bad lies.

 

[Dreamliner]

There is a very good erotic short story in here. Just needs expansion.

As to your confusion, no, these things happen and maybe there needs to be greater communication btw the two of you?

There also seems to be a corss-over form previous issues, these need to be shorted out at the time, not left to fester and then impact at a later time.

 

[nh23]

Never mind that I'm working on a 400 pages dissertation, I think there's something to be said about concision.

*nods*

 

[Primalex]

I felt like I was told one thing after the fact, and his behavior said another during...

I am dominant sometimes, sure, but not a mindreader....

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I hate to say it, but you are responsible for your property. If he would beg on his knees that you allow him to jump from the bridge, would you? Now reduce this until you say, it's not your fault, but his.. when should this be?

 

[Homburg]

As you always hear: communication, communication, communication.

In this case, you exceeded a boundary that you did not know existed. This may, or may not, have come up in negotiation, but it certainly won't come up without negotiation.

That said, fuck, he went along with it. His fault. He could've "yellowed" or something. Maybe, y'know, said that he was uncool with it when you started allowing her to pet him.

Yes, he's your responsibility, but unless you are in a TPE, he's also his own responsibility. That's what safewords are for.

Apparantly I am being told how to walk my F*in dog as far as I am concerned... and I figure my little dog better remember that if he doesn't remember that he is there for my pleasure, and to do or not do whatever I tell him, then he has forgotten that the dog doesn't make the rules. The dog shouldn't be flirting with people if he doesn't want me to think he likes them...

I think he expects me to do what I would consider to be humiliating, he wants me to hold his leash so tight, that his head is on my thigh, like "remember who your Master is", but I am not that kind of Master,

I am sure I can do that... but on the first time I have you in a leash, and we are just out... not sceneing...I am not going to play yank the dog with the leash...

I just felt like I was told to do something I hadn't done before, and if some specific tone of posession was expected of me, I should have been told...

Pfft. Do what pleases you, and let him conform to your whims. You're the Top here. Sure, it pays to give him a little bit of the imagery he wants here and there, but be a Top. Don't let the little bitch set the tone with acts and images that you find specifically to be a turn-off.

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Ok..i am SUPER confused...

You let him kiss a hottie and he didn't want to but did it anyway and then he was mad about it?

Umm..i think i'm missing something.

Yes. Great minds think alike...AGAIN! I'm not completely understanding his reaction either...

 

[marieR19]

Don't have much to say, agree with the others.... Sounds like you two need to communicate more about what he expects verses what you want/expect/will do.

And that was a VERY hot post!


Heather

 

[unfoundiamond]

Lmao....

Thanks Deserving...
I wasn't sure why you are named that...
I am sure I know now...
Thanx... **giggles**
Can't wait to read those 400 pgs... I am on pins and F*in needles over here...

On another note...
I didn't think this was appropriate for a story... since its more of a question...

And btw, I wrote it to be descriptive, not intending to be "hot"...

I myself can't figure out how I could have been wrong in my judgement of his actions...

I always like to watch what people do, in combination with what they say... and (even with him) pick up on unsaid signals or looks...

I see how I am responsible for him, and should say what's best for him, even when he doesn't know what that is... but I still can't see how kissing her was so bad...

I mean... if I am the Top, right, and I want him to kiss her... (Its not like I was asking him to anally rape her with no protection...)

I guess this is where a bratty submissive comes in handy, *giggle* at least I'd know what the fuck was goin on upstairs... I'd get whining and bitching upfront... insted of later...

I am joking, but at the same time getting made to feel guilty is bothering me.

And I maybe should have said No, as I had sent him a checklist, and he failed to fill it out, and send it back... (its been 3 months, and I still don't have a responce)

I have talked to him, I have asked him a few times to fill out the check list...

So maybe I was in the wrong here...

 

[unfoundiamond]

You really should submit this. Then you will able to promote it here with the other aspiring erotica writers

Really ??

*selfjack* (thanx net *wink* got that from you)

I always thought I couldn't submit something from a PDA... that's another reason I haven't.

 

[HottieMama]

I mean... if I am the Top, right, and I want him to kiss her...

Had you talked previously about "sharing" him with others? This is one of those issues that FOR ME needs to be discussed well in advance of any possible sharing opportunities. For my PYL to just share me without prior negotiation would make me feel like he didn't value me nor want me as His. Regardless, of the role i was in at the time, i would feel potientially worthless.

 

[unfoundiamond]

OH NO, we talked about other girls, and how much I like the option to be as I am...

Had you talked previously about "sharing" him with others? This is one of those issues that FOR ME needs to be discussed well in advance of any possible sharing opportunities. For my PYL to just share me without prior negotiation would make me feel like he didn't value me nor want me as His. Regardless, of the role i was in at the time, i would feel potientially worthless.

OOOOHHHH

No... we talked about sharing, he knows very very very well how much I like girls, and what my intentions are...

He discussed a policy similar to a bulls-eye... We discussed and came to the (I understood) agreement that we are the main focus, any other person is an addition, but not to come between us, like I should never leave him for her, for example, but as long as we are all present, and willing...

A third is not unwelcome.

We had discussed his, and He set a lot of the rules, as I was very clear I am open and willing to be involved with a man, and we be involved with another woman, together.

He seemed in agreement.

But as far as I am concerned, a lot of people like to say one thing and do something else... then expect me to tell when they are "really" serious...

But...

I just checked my email...

Still no checklist... lol

 

[unfoundiamond]

Pfft. Do what pleases you, and let him conform to your whims. You're the Top here. Sure, it pays to give him a little bit of the imagery he wants here and there, but be a Top. Don't let the little bitch set the tone with acts and images that you find specifically to be a turn-off.

When you say stuff like this, the little underfed dominant inside me gets up, starts wildly dancing funky enzone dances and rattles her chains... while singing "Sheena is a Punkrocker" by the Ramones...

Thanx. I needed that...

 

[Adakgirl]

I agree with Homberg completely on this. Your bottom dog was attempting to Top from the bottom. He is to do what he is told...that is just the way it is, period, no second guessing his Dominant, no trying to correct your decisions or actions, in public or in private. When you allowed him to do that, and he left you wondering if you had done something wrong, you lost control of him. He was Dominating you
`If he is not completing assignments, that is blatant disobedience. You need to get a handle on him by correction and punishment if correction does not work. You should NOT have to remind him to do what you requested he do.
You are letting him get away with shit, important shit, being a Dominant is a big responsibility, It takes a lot of work on your part too.
I think he needs some severe obedience training so he understands his place and stays there. If he can't learn to do what it takes to please you as your submissive, and you are letting him slide, then you will always have these little control problems popping up.

 

[minx1]

She is going between looking and talking to me, and petting him, and generally being cute, he begins to put his face closer to her, almost smelling her, and rubs his face agaist her leg or something...

I don't feel and jealousy... I actually find it cute, and kinda hot, I like her too, and he is generally pleasing me, by being freindly with her

he if anything looked like he wanted her attn... he gave her attention, he may have been doing it for a number of reasons... but all I can remember is his flirting with her, so I take that in combination with no safeword type shit, as meaning he wants it.

I had been disobeyed earlier that day on the phone,

I had specifically asked him to do something, and after him telling me he didn't want me to take another male sub I had met, I should take him, he completely disobeys me,

This might be just my take on it and I may be way off track, but could his reaction be a result of what had happened earlier that day? I am not defending it, but to me it sounds as though he felt strongly that you didn't take the other sub with you. Perhaps his behaviour was motivated by jealousy? and a bad attempt of showing his Mistress that other Dommes thought he was a cute pet too.....so he flirts, you misread the signs, they kiss at your agreement and bobs your uncle, it all goes wrong ( I would have said 'it all goes pete tong', but that might have just made things confusing )

Whatever the case, I do agree with the other posters who suggest working on communication and I also think that it sounds as though he would benefit from some obedience 'training'. However I also agree with Hotties point too, regarding reaching limits before you go out so that any misunderstandings are avoided.

Hope you manage to resolve it

 

[Primalex]

Yes, he's your responsibility, but unless you are in a TPE, he's also his own responsibility. That's what safewords are for.

If they both agreed to not use safewords and can't stop play and there were no negotiated limits or contracts, it IS basically TPE.

 

[Primalex]

Your bottom dog was attempting to Top from the bottom. He is to do what he is told...that is just the way it is, period, no second guessing his Dominant, no trying to correct your decisions or actions, in public or in private.

Bullshit. If it would be vice versa and Unfound would have been the pet, people here would tell her that she needs to bring these issues to attention, as communication is the key. This is what he did. He did what he was told during play. And then? What should he do? Shut up forever? If you are insecure if your actions were right, then maybe they were not. The insecurity of a PYL is not the problem of the pyl. It's perfectly fine to reply "Shut the fuck up, I'm the boss." but not when this is said out of defiance, but only when it is said out of conviction.

So, this leaves the issues before the club, like not filling out the papers as assigned. Whose responsibility is it to maintain the obedience and to control if all assigned taks have been properly finished? Is this the job of the pet?

 

[unfoundiamond]

I am torn... the indecisive sub and malnourished domme inside me are boxing...lol

I am torn between blaming myself, (as primalex suggests) and believeing that this was a case of some kind of unstettling feelings based on the earlyier events of the day...(Minx1, good point... you really have helped me with questions to ask him...)

The checklist got skipped over, BEFORE He and I had any firm plans for me to be in control... He told me when we met he had been with a Domme for some period, and seemed to have the whole thing down... down to the funniest reactions when I hit a button? (swtich?, I can't remember... one or the other... this was all so new to me)

Anyways he had told me over time, he trusted me and wanted to be submissive to me, he wanted to try it and I wanted to try it with a man... after knowing me as HIS submissive....

I sent him the checklist as his submissive... on the terms of our first agreement, I don't like to be dominant a lot... and had never topped a man... ever... (just women)

I guess I look to him to tell me when I am doing wrong, or crossing his limits, as he knows I am crossing into uncharted territory...

Dynamics become difficult when I expect you to be dominant unless I am TOLD to... and allowed to... and when I am I expect the same obedience I give...

I knew his hard limit... I was sure to prevent any problems for him that night in reguards to what he had told me he doesn't like,

(when I saw a possible problem, I steered him literally by his collar in front of me, and crossed myself into the path of the potential problem, as sometimes people see a guy in a leash and think he's free game...)

The topic of women was discussed and I understood that we agreed. This was not the hard limit, and had been discussed...

That's why I am so torn on if I think I am to blame...

Also I cannot punish him as my Dom for not filling some checkist out... so how do I remain consistant, other than telling him when I am topping to do it...

(And did I mention LDR...)

 

[Primalex]

I am torn between blaming myself, (as primalex suggests) and believeing that this was a case of some kind of unstettling feelings based on the earlyier events of the day...(Minx1, good point... you really have helped me with questions to ask him...)

I don't think you need to blame yourself, but you can't just sit back and solely blame him either. The problem is not doing a mistake, the problem is repeating one. As long as you don't do the very same error again, all is well.

 

[twysted73]

I agree with Homberg completely on this. Your bottom dog was attempting to Top from the bottom. He is to do what he is told...that is just the way it is, period, no second guessing his Dominant, no trying to correct your decisions or actions, in public or in private. When you allowed him to do that, and he left you wondering if you had done something wrong, you lost control of him. He was Dominating you
`If he is not completing assignments, that is blatant disobedience. You need to get a handle on him by correction and punishment if correction does not work. You should NOT have to remind him to do what you requested he do.
You are letting him get away with shit, important shit, being a Dominant is a big responsibility, It takes a lot of work on your part too.
I think he needs some severe obedience training so he understands his place and stays there. If he can't learn to do what it takes to please you as your submissive, and you are letting him slide, then you will always have these little control problems popping up.

Brava my dear. Well said. *claps and stands*

It would seem your puppy knew a few of his limits and pushed them to test you. Is he a S.A.M. by chance?
That would certainly explain his unhappiness with the situation and how it played out.
So he didn't understand your style and you didn't understand his. Homburg has the "communication" thing spot on.

So...lesson(s) learned I think. Discuss it, hammer out the (bad) kinks and move foreward knowing he has this strak of need to be guided.
Sounds like he was testing boundries. His and yours.
Sounds like fun.
I wanna go!
* drags out map to Ybor...*