Hmmmmm

[evildon77]

HEY THERE I WANT TO WRITE A STORY OF MOM AND SON. THE STORY SHOULD BE THEY BOTH WERE ON VACATION ON A SHIP AND DUE TO SOME REASONS THEY WERE LEFT ALONE ON AN ISLAND WHICH HAD NO ANIMALS OR HUMANS. NOW THEY LEAVE THERE REST OF THERE LIFE IN THERE. THE SON IS ABOUT 20YRS AND MOM IS 40YRS. PLZ WRITE IT TO ME AND SEND IT TO evil_don77@yahoo.com OR SUBMIT IN HERE ONLY WAITING FOR RESPONSE.

 

[oggbashan]

Stop shouting! and my response is no. I doubt that you could understand anything I wrote.

Why should anyone write a story for you?

We're authors. If we write something specific - we expect to get paid in real money.

Og

 

[Guest]

I know - ouch. My eyes hurt from being shouted at.

How much money ya offering for the work, evildon?

 

[feeeriek]

um i may be mistaken...however unless i misread...shouldn't he be writing said story since that is what he said he wanted to do...so then why isn't he

 

[Boxlicker101]

Occasionally, I have written a story at the request of a female reader, but it has always been for a woman who didn't shout at me, and was written in the first person. Usually, it involved a fantasy she had, or some kind of sex she especially likeddoing. She usually provided nude pictures of herself also.

 

[sr71plt]

HEY THERE I WANT TO WRITE A STORY OF MOM AND SON. THE STORY SHOULD BE THEY BOTH WERE ON VACATION ON A SHIP AND DUE TO SOME REASONS THEY WERE LEFT ALONE ON AN ISLAND WHICH HAD NO ANIMALS OR HUMANS. NOW THEY LEAVE THERE REST OF THERE LIFE IN THERE. THE SON IS ABOUT 20YRS AND MOM IS 40YRS. PLZ WRITE IT TO ME AND SEND IT TO evil_don77@yahoo.com OR SUBMIT IN HERE ONLY WAITING FOR RESPONSE.

Good luck with that. I wrote a story recently on request and to specifications but probably won't do so again. Didn't get so much as a thank you, and that requester didn't shout at me or use substandard spelling/grammar.

So, what's so arousing/unusual/interesting about that story setup anyway?

 

[3113]

HEY THERE I WANT TO WRITE A STORY OF MOM AND SON. THE STORY SHOULD BE THEY BOTH WERE ON VACATION ON A SHIP AND DUE TO SOME REASONS THEY WERE LEFT ALONE ON AN ISLAND WHICH HAD NO ANIMALS OR HUMANS. NOW THEY LEAVE THERE REST OF THERE LIFE IN THERE. THE SON IS ABOUT 20YRS AND MOM IS 40YRS. PLZ WRITE IT TO ME AND SEND IT TO evil_don77@yahoo.com OR SUBMIT IN HERE ONLY WAITING FOR RESPONSE.

"Once upon a time, there was a 20 year old son and a 40 year old mom. They got trapped on a deserted island. They lived there till they died." The end.

Really, the flower offered doesn't mitigate the fact that this guy is not only shouting at us but ordering us around. I'm kinda amazed. Is that what people like this think us writers here are like? Fry cooks that you can shout an order at through the drive-up window? All we need is a little "thank you" rose, and in five minutes we'll hand you your erotica in take-out bag?

 

[Stella_Omega]

"They lived there untill they died of scurvy," in fact. That was about eight months later.

Neither of them had any sexual desires at all, after the first two months-- they spent most of their time trying to learn how to catch fish, where to find shellfish, and which of those wouldn't cause screaming dysentery. They had to learn where to shit so the current would carry their excrement away from the island. They had to build shelter to keep the raging sun off of them, and equally, the raging downpours They had to learn to set out every little thing they had-- coconut shells hopefully-- to catch rainwater in for drinking. Their skin turned to leather from the salt water. They were covered in sores from the coral, and the biting flies.

(like I haven't written castaway fiction before!)

 

[sr71plt]

No, no.

After they'd been jumping each other's bones for a while, a hunk of a native mysteriously shows up and seduces and plows them both. Mother and son are set against each other in a jealous rage. The native hunk disappears under suspicious circumstances involving a piece of slate with blood on it. And the mother and son are left to . . .

(like I haven't written erotica before. Or B movie plots.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

No, no.

After they'd been jumping each other's bones for a while, a hunk of a native mysteriously shows up and seduces and plows them both. Mother and son are set against each other in a jealous rage. The native hunk disappears under suspicious circumstances involving a piece of slate with blood on it. And the mother and son are left to . . .

(like I haven't written erotica before. Or B movie plots.)

And your idea is far more read-worthy than mine!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

"They lived there untill they died of scurvy," in fact. That was about eight months later.

Neither of them had any sexual desires at all, after the first two months-- they spent most of their time trying to learn how to catch fish, where to find shellfish, and which of those wouldn't cause screaming dysentery. They had to learn where to shit so the current would carry their excrement away from the island. They had to build shelter to keep the raging sun off of them, and equally, the raging downpours They had to learn to set out every little thing they had-- coconut shells hopefully-- to catch rainwater in for drinking. Their skin turned to leather from the salt water. They were covered in sores from the coral, and the biting flies.

(like I haven't written castaway fiction before!)

But the mom still had big tits, right?

 

[Stella_Omega]

But the mom still had big tits, right?

Double D's! And the son still had twelve inches. *nods*

 

[Guest]

Double D's! And the son still had twelve inches. *nods*

And as long as he still says, "I kiked in the door and camed on her fase."


Guess they would have to build a door, it being a desert island and all.

 

[cantdog]

There's no phickin door on a nighland.

 

[oggbashan]

There's no phickin door on a nighland.

Oh yes there is! (It's pantomime season) There's the door they climbed on and used as a raft when their ship sank.

Og

 

[oggbashan]

My version:

The mother and son were rejected from the lifeboat by a unanimous vote of the other survivors because they were such assholes.

They survived by clambering on to a floating door and paddled away using lifebelts for oars.

The other survivors were rescued within hours but didn't reveal that there were two missing because no one wanted to see the grossly-endowed mother and her prick of a son again.

For the first two days on the island they spent their time alternately cursing each other and Daniel Defoe who had made island survival sound so easy. As for the Swiss Family Robinson, they choked on the word "Swiss". What did the Swiss know about desert islands and that family had arrived with enough material to set an island tribe up as capitalists.

The son had his flickknife that he had been using to carve his initials all over the ship's woodwork and his supply of spliffs.

The mother had her capacious handbag full of expensive cosmetics and bottles of gin.

While the spliffs and gin lasted they could be relatively civil to each other. Once their supply ran out they remembered that they hated each other and tried to kill. The son made deadfall traps from palm tree trunks. The mother made a catapult from her bra and took potshots at her son whenever she saw him. Eventually she scored a direct hit on his forehead, crushing his skull. She rushed forward to check that he was dead and was felled by one of his deadfalls.

They hadn't lasted a week. Edited highlights were shown on cable TV caught by the reality TV crew that had been camped on the other side of the island.

Og

 

[3113]

No, no.

After they'd been jumping each other's bones for a while, a hunk of a native mysteriously shows up and seduces and plows them both. Mother and son are set against each other in a jealous rage. The native hunk disappears under suspicious circumstances involving a piece of slate with blood on it. And the mother and son are left to .

Sorry. Creativity isn't allowed here at McErotica's. Just take what's been ordered from under the heatlamp, bag it and hand it out to the customer with a smile.

My version:...While the spliffs and gin lasted they could be relatively civil to each other. Once their supply ran out they remembered that they hated each other and tried to kill. The son made deadfall traps from palm tree trunks. The mother made a catapult from her bra and took potshots at her son whenever she saw him....

No humor either. Get back to the cash register and ask the customer if they want fries (aka "chips") with that order.

Come on, guys, let's step it up! What are you not being paid anything for?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

You are all wrong. They were both gay. He fell madly in love with a male gorilla who spurned him which drove him to committed suicide. She started a lesbian newspaper which ultimately failed because there were no other people on the island to buy it. Five days later she died after living on contaminated palm leaves and poisonous sand crabs.

 

[Guest]

You are all wrong. They were both gay. He fell madly in love with a male gorilla who spurned him which drove him to committed suicide. She started a lesbian newspaper which ultimately failed because there were no other people on the island to buy it. Five days later she died after living on contaminated palm leaves and poisonous sand crabs.

She died after getting crabs?

I need to bone up on my Sexually Transmitted Diseases, apparently.

 

[3113]

And while we're at it, let me just ask this: Why is it that these orders for stories are always for only two things....Mom/Son incest and gangbanging? "I wanna story about my wife being gangbanged..." "I wanna story about me being gangbanged..." "I wanna story about a cheerleader being gangbanged by guys who then go home and have sex with their moms...."

We really are working at McErotica's. There's only two items on the menu.

 

[Guest]

There's no phickin door on a nighland.

I like phickin doors.

What are you, the nighland police?

 

[Varian P]

"They lived there untill they died of scurvy," in fact. That was about eight months later.

Neither of them had any sexual desires at all, after the first two months-- they spent most of their time trying to learn how to catch fish, where to find shellfish, and which of those wouldn't cause screaming dysentery. They had to learn where to shit so the current would carry their excrement away from the island. They had to build shelter to keep the raging sun off of them, and equally, the raging downpours They had to learn to set out every little thing they had-- coconut shells hopefully-- to catch rainwater in for drinking. Their skin turned to leather from the salt water. They were covered in sores from the coral, and the biting flies.

(like I haven't written castaway fiction before!)

*sniff* *pout*

You are so putting a dent in my suspension of my own disbelief in my own recently drafted incest castaway story!

 

[cantdog]

There's a title in there, too: Learning Where To Shit.

 

[3113]

You are all wrong. They were both gay. He fell madly in love with a male gorilla who spurned him which drove him to committed suicide. She started a lesbian newspaper which ultimately failed because there were no other people on the island to buy it. Five days later she died after living on contaminated palm leaves and poisonous sand crabs.

*Sigh* Stick to the order, people! No humans on the island. No animals...I dunno if that includes no crabs. Geeze. A customer comes on through, uses Caps and Bolds everything and you still can't get it right!

Oh, and he also wants a large diet coke.

 

[Guest]

*Sigh* Stick to the order, people! No humans on the island. No animals...I dunno if that includes no crabs. Geeze. A customer comes on through, uses Caps and Bolds everything and you still can't get it right!

Oh, and he also wants a large diet coke.

Supersized.