The long lost ones

[sophia jane]

Do you have one of those people in your past that you lost touch with but they linger in the background of your life? A lost love, a first love, or a long lost friend?

I had two, but years ago I got in touch with one and our connection comes and goes, occasionally emails about our lives. He was my first love, my high school love affair, and now I think of him with a bit of nostalgia and alot of respect for who he's become.
The other person is my college boyfriend. Our relationship then was up and down, was full of angst and passion and jealousy. He was almost an obsession at times, and for nearly two years much of my life was defined by him. And then I got married (very quickly), almost to escape that relationship and I haven't talked to him in eleven years. But I've thought of him, have tried now and then to look him up on the internet. And then yesterday, I decided to look him up on myspace, and he was there.
And I say all this because I suspect some of you will understand the feeling of a reconnection, of how ten years can seem forever and nothing at all. How is that we can move away from people, can have no contact for a decade and yet always remain, in some way, attached?

Thoughts? Reconnection stories.

 

[English Lady]

Oh, I have so many, from my first crush (who probably so doesn't want to hear from me *L*) to my first boyfriend (all by snail mail apart from one encounter!) and arious online best friends.

I take a look see now and then but never find anyone. I figure some of them may eventually turn up here (Darknyte, you're a kinky bugger, you're here somewhere I bet!) but mosly I keep them as damn good memories. I'd be beside myself if I reconnecte with any of them, though.

 

[Trombonus]

There are two people from my past I still think about regularly. I probably shouldn't, but I do. There's my first girlfriend who I still care about a great deal. I tried to keep in contact with her, but I was constantlly ignored. So much so that it fed my paranoia, which I inhereted from my mom. I recently found out she is now engaged, so I knew I had to get over her and move on. So, I deleted her from my myspace and facebook friends lists and removed her name from my buddy lists. I still think of her all the time though. I really don't know what else to do.

The second person I think about is a girl I knew in high school. I had always felt a strong connection to her, but I was a complete and total loser in high school (Thank goodness I managed to grow out of that). Back then I handled rejection pretty bad. I used to convince myself that I hated those girls, simply because I didn't know another way of dealing with the pain. Anyway, we started talking again once I started college, and we got to be good friends. Then we lost touch, and we haven't talked in years.

I did have a dream related to her though. I was older, and living in a nice home. I was dressed up because we were going to see her in a play. A little girl came up to me and started asking me why we she couldn't go with us. I knew she was my child because I had never felt such an intense form of love in my life. Well, I told her I was going to see mommy in a play and she offered to let her mom play with her toys. So cute. Then I explained to her what a play was and why she couldn't go, but that she'd have fun with her aunt and if she was good I'd take her to the zoo the next day (which was really an excuse for me to go to the zoo because I love the zoo, but she didn't need to know that). Well, that's when I woke up. The dream moved me so much that I just sat there and cried. In fact I cried a lot that day.

Our 10 year reunion is coming up in 2009. I hope to see her there, and I can't deny that my hopes are up. We'll see what happens.

 

[oggbashan]

Approach with caution

If the person was really close - remember why you parted. The reasons might still be valid.

While it might be interesting to meet people from your past and catch up on old times it is best considered as an evening's entertainment and NOT a chance to have the passionate affair you missed out on ten or twenty years ago.

You don't know the person they have become. They don't know how you have changed. For the first half-hour at least you both are likely to revert to the persona you were when you last interacted. Only later will the current person become apparent.

Some years ago I met a friend's former fiancée. I had been very attracted to her then but they were an item so I didn't make any approach to her at the time. Twenty-five years later we met at a party. I was still attracted to her and spent nearly an hour in her company. In the meantime she had married someone else and had divorced. I had married and was still married although my wife hadn't come to the party.

I admitted that I had wanted her all those years ago. She replied that she had valued me as a friend but not a potential partner. She was right. After the hour the differences between what we saw as desirable lifestyles were apparent. If we had married, we would have driven each other up the wall.

Later I found details of another ex-girlfriend on FriendsReunited. I read her biography and shuddered. She had divorced three times and reading between the lines she had suffered from continued violence from two now ex-husbands. We had split because our ambitions were different. Would we have been happier together? I doubt it.

Who we are now depends on choices and events over years. Would we still like the person who was most popular at High School? It depends what they became.

Og

 

[matriarch]

A few years ago, I made contact with some of my high school gang, through Friends Reunited. It was good to find out what they had done and who they had become. We had so much fun, meeting up in person after 36 years ( ), that we decided to try and organise a year reunion - Class of 66. We advertised in the local paper of where we had all lived and gone to school, and received replies from a couple of teachers, as well as some of the class. through them, and the internet, we made contact with the whole year, except for 2 girls. 64 out of 66 we thought was pretty good going, and even 10 of the teachers who taught us back then.

We did the organising, contacted everyone, made update sheets for everyone, collected photographs.......and finally on the allotted day we all met at a local hotel - which had in those days been part of our high school - a Victorian Italianted villa which was used for the first two years of high school. It was an incredible day, running a whole gamut of emotions, sharing memories. Everyone had a great time, most were reluctant to leave when it was time to go. Some of us stayed over at the hotel, we had travelled a long way.

Since then, a small core of us have stayed in touch, mainly through e-mail and phone calls, with the occasional contact from the others. One of the teachers seemed to have taken a shine to me, and made regular visits. She was disappointed when the ex and I split up, but maintained contact......until I told them about min and I. Since then, apart from one e-mail confirming the contents of my message, nothing. They are very religious people, and I expected it, but there was no way I wasn't going to tell them. They made their choice.

So I guess, my comment is, be careful of what you wish for from your past, it might just not be what you remember.

 

[Belegon]

I have times when I wish I knew what had become of some of my exes... but that is about all, usually.

The one girl in my past I most regret losing contact with is the girl I lost my virginity with... I don't think of her as my first love (that was the girl I took to junior prom) but I do think of her as someone with whom I could have forged a life.

I'm not necessarily being regretful. I love Imp dearly, and I would never want to take a chance that could result in not meeting her. But I would like to know how things turned out for some of my ex-girlfriends. I still love Bridget, Teri and Jessie. And yes, even Jen, who smashed my heart to bits. I still wish they were in my life.

 

[Vermilion]

Hi S-J

I posted a very similar thread a few months back. I had traced an old love on facebook and got a little obsessive. I don;t want to give you advice or suggestions, because I don;t know your life or what is right for you. For me, the right thing was to put him behind me... I think I have finally accomplished that, or as much as I ever could, because naturally people who have been a major part of your past will always influence you in some ways. I suppose what I want to say is that I understand and I wish you luck with whatever decision you make <hugs>
PM, if you want to chat more

x
V

 

[impressive]

Yeah, I'm curious. I know (in general) where/how most of the ones I "dated" are, but only have direct contact with two -- the guy who has my virginity & my childhood playmate. I saw the latter on Christmas Eve.

One, from my early teens, seems to have vanished. He dropped out of high school and that's the last I heard.

Another, from college, got drafted by the Detroit Lions then got shot in the head. No info since.

Those are the two I'd most like to know about. I don't have any desire to interact with them, but I would like to know they're okay/thriving.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I so miss one of my best friends from high school and many years after. I think of him often and see his face in dreams regularly (last night, even.) He seems to have cut off contact with everyone; even his family didn't know where he was for a time, and had to track him down. This summer I might go to the city where he last lived and try to find him. There's a huge hole in my life where he should be.

As far as reconnection - my current SO of a year is someone that I reconnected with after 12 years. We used to be roommates, I started dating one of his friends and moved away, and when I came back home a year and a half ago, we ran into each other and started hanging out, and discovered we have this amazing connection and compatibility. I think it's partly because of our shared history and background.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

There are so many, it's painful to remember.

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all.

. . . Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them . . .

 

[rgraham666]

For the most part, no. For me, the past is the past and it stays there.

There are a couple though. One woman from high school. We got along. I google her name sometimes but I've never found anything.

And a woman I used to work for. Very smart, very strong. Very beautiful by my standards.

The one person I'd like to keep in touch with would require a medium.

 

[sophia jane]

I'm definitely going in with caution. The fact that we live so far apart prevents anything from actually coming of our reconnection. It's silly, but I think the thing I hope most to find out is if he's thought of me, too, and if those years we were together had the same impact on him. But, of course, I may never, truly, know that.

 

[Remec]

Oh, I have so many...hazards of being a military brat. Even when we would stay put, my friends inevitably moved away. I had hoped to do better when I left for college, had addresses for people and wrote to a few, but they were almost all either a grade ahead of me or behind me and we quickly lost touch due to jobs or school or families moving--just like it had been when I was younger.

As I left college it was much the same, and I moved on to a new group of acquaintances with fragile connections--people online. Chat rooms on AOL and then Yahoo, local BBSes (even those who had monthly, or even weekly, get togethers), and various newsgroups--Echonet, Valnet, Throbnet--weren't enough for me to really maintain anything substantial.

Lit and my Guild on Neopets are prolly the most lasting links I've had in a while. Although, now and then, I get surprised my running into an old friend here or there around town or in a new location online.

The best one? The girl I lost my virginity to came across my profile on MySpace or Hi5 or something, thought she recognized me, and left me an email to say hi and catch up with one another. All the love I'd set aside when we broke up came swelling back to the forefront of my mind and heart and it was really nice to hear from her and see how she was doing.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

There are only a very few people I truely miss gone from my life. The one I miss most is my older sister who died of braim cancer three years ago.

She was a very odd person - highly talented, PHD and all, but hated to work. She had a wonderful existance working as a temp, which meant she didn't work every day and had plenty of time for herself and other activities.

I notice her passing at holidays mostly. It always seems like there is one place missing at the dinner table and one present I feel I forgot to buy for birthdays and Christmas.

We were more than sisters. We were great and inseparatble friends.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

I often wonder about my first love. I wonder what he's doing now and if he's still as big of a jerk as he used to be. I've tried looking him up on the internet a few times, but with no luck.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Mine doesn't involve old flames, it usually involves old friends.

One of my best friends from the military comes to mind. We were great friends while we were stationed together, but over time and distance, we drifted apart. I lost track of where he was.

About two weeks ago the phone rang and it was him. He searched my name on the net and found me. (For those of you that don't know, I have a VERY unique last name). We talked for about an hour. It was as if we'd just seen each other last week, even though the last time we actually saw each other was 1991.

He's still in the Air Force, and stationed in Louisiana. We're going to meet up this spring for a weekend of fishing. I'm so looking forward to it.

 

[jomar]

A couple - they've inspired stories.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Do you have one of those people in your past that you lost touch with but they linger in the background of your life? A lost love, a first love, or a long lost friend?

I had two, but years ago I got in touch with one and our connection comes and goes, occasionally emails about our lives. He was my first love, my high school love affair, and now I think of him with a bit of nostalgia and alot of respect for who he's become.
The other person is my college boyfriend. Our relationship then was up and down, was full of angst and passion and jealousy. He was almost an obsession at times, and for nearly two years much of my life was defined by him. And then I got married (very quickly), almost to escape that relationship and I haven't talked to him in eleven years. But I've thought of him, have tried now and then to look him up on the internet. And then yesterday, I decided to look him up on myspace, and he was there.
And I say all this because I suspect some of you will understand the feeling of a reconnection, of how ten years can seem forever and nothing at all. How is that we can move away from people, can have no contact for a decade and yet always remain, in some way, attached?

Thoughts? Reconnection stories.

Sophia Jane, your post reminded me of Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks.

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldnt help but think of the way things used to be.

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
Id never ask for anything again.

(chorus)
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
In her eyes too, it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin after' all.

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life.

*chorus*
Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers


Rumple Foreskin

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Time it was and what a time it was it was,
A time of innocence a time of confidences.

Long ago it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, theyre all thats left you...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

WILDCARD

Oh! Been there, done that. My bestest bud from the Vietnam War tracked me down. He changed into a moron.

 

[glynndah]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdyZqAq0Krc&feature=related

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I met my old lover
On the street last night
She seemed so glad to see me
I just smiled
And we talked about some old times
And we drank ourselves some beers
Still crazy afler all these years
Oh, still crazy after all these years

 

[glynndah]

Taxi: Harry Chapin

It was raining hard in 'Frisco,
I needed one more fare to make my night.
A lady up ahead waved to flag me down,
She got in at the light.
Oh, where you going to, my lady blue,
It's a shame you ruined your gown in the rain.
She just looked out the window, and said
"Sixteen Parkside Lane".
Something about her was familiar
I could swear I'd seen her face before,
But she said, "I'm sure you're mistaken"
And she didn't say anything more.
It took a while, but she looked in the mirror,
And she glanced at the license for my name.
A smile seemed to come to her slowly,
It was a sad smile, just the same.
And she said, "How are you Harry?"
I said, "How are you Sue?
Through the too many miles
and the too little smiles
I still remember you."
It was somewhere in a fairy tale,
I used to take her home in my car.
We learned about love in the back of the Dodge,
The lesson hadn't gone too far.
You see, she was gonna be an actress,
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off to find the sky.
Oh, I've got something inside me,
To drive a princess blind.
There's a wild man, wizard,
He's hiding in me, illuminating my mind.
Oh, I've got something inside me,
Not what my life's about,
Cause I've been letting my outside tide me,
Over 'till my time, runs out.
Baby's so high that she's skying,
Yes she's flying, afraid to fall.
I'll tell you why baby's crying,
Cause she's dying, aren't we all.
There was not much more for us to talk about,
Whatever we had once was gone.
So I turned my cab into the driveway,
Past the gate and the fine trimmed lawns.
And she said we must get together,
But I knew it'd never be arranged.
And she handed me twenty dollars,
For a two fifty fare, she said
"Harry, keep the change."
Well another man might have been angry,
And another man might have been hurt,
But another man never would have let her go...
I stashed the bill in my shirt.
And she walked away in silence,
It's strange, how you never know,
But we'd both gotten what we'd asked for,
Such a long, long time ago.
You see, she was gonna be an actress
And I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off to find the footlights,
And I took off for the sky.
And here, she's acting happy,
Inside her handsome home.
And me, I'm flying in my taxi,
Taking tips, and getting stoned,
I go flying so high, when I'm stoned.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Old man on a tram sees woman walking on the sidewalk.

"Lara! Lara!"

Stumbles off tram, tries to catch up, clutches chest, falls, dies of heart attack.

Cue Somewhere My Love . . .