So, what is romantic, anyway?

[MaeveoSliabh]

It's sort of a given that Valentine's Day is one of two things to most people. It's either a day to gather up all the crap left from the most recent relationship and have a bonfire (usually my choice - not into the mooshy stuff) or it's all hearts and roses and cute little cherubs with bows and heart-shaped arrows. You know, the mooshy stuff.

But there are those people who don't do either of the "traditional" things and prefer to do something just a little bit different. Like bringing home a handful of wildflowers instead of the long-stemmed roses, or stringing some pretty beads into a necklace instead of the diamond ring thing, or something along that line.

So, as sort of a research thing and to serve as inspiration for those folks looking to put an entry into the Valentine's Day contest, what sort of non-traditional things like that would you consider to be romantic? Or, if something like that doesn't fancy you as being romantic at all, what WOULD you consider to be romantic, or a romantic gesture?

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

To me, romance is about the person. its listening and making a note when she says she likes a certain chocolate or comments about a necklace she wants. Its finding that gesture that is specific to her that makes her melt, that reinforces to her that I do care that I am invested in her happiness and joy.

But for a story... for a story I would go with something like dressing to our absolute best, taking her to the beach, and setting up a small table with white linens and candles, setting a small dinner right there on the sand at sunset and have a violinist come up to play for us. Then just as the sun was sinking beneath the horizon, as the stars awoke to come dance for us, I would start the music, dance wither her in the edge of the surf and whisper softly in her ear "damn you have gorgeous boobs".

 

[rgraham666]

Romantic, to me, is showing how much the other person means to you.

So, it could be doing the dishes when it's the other person's turn but there under the weather. It can be a meal at their favourite restaurant. It can be words on their attractiveness for no other reason that you want to say them. It can be making love to them for two hours because your lust for them won't let you stop.

There's a lot of ways to be romantic.

 

[shereads]

So, what is romantic anyway?

Two words: black latex.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Two words: black latex.

I like the way you think.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

Romantic, to me, is showing how much the other person means to you.

So, it could be doing the dishes when it's the other person's turn but there under the weather. It can be a meal at their favourite restaurant. It can be words on their attractiveness for no other reason that you want to say them. It can be making love to them for two hours because your lust for them won't let you stop.

There's a lot of ways to be romantic.

You need to have a talk with my husband...

 

[impressive]

Romance boils down to two simple steps:

1. paying attention
2. acting on the knowledge gained by #1

 

[Stella_Omega]

I once had a girlfriend who lived at the edge of a very large park. In Chicago, of course, the summertime rains can be pouring down, and the weather can still be warm-- something that simply does not happen in SoCal where I was brought up. So that warm rain always felt so exotic to me, and I wanted so badly to drag her out into the park, back her up against a tree and fuck her in the rain.

Her roommate wouldn't allow it. She said she did NOT want to be the one to bail us out... But that's romance, to me.

 

[human_male]

Kissing them on the mouth.

 

[Oblimo]

Kissing them on the mouth.

But germs get spread that way!

 

[adetaildiva]

To me, romance is about the person. its listening and making a note when she says she likes a certain chocolate or comments about a necklace she wants. Its finding that gesture that is specific to her that makes her melt, that reinforces to her that I do care that I am invested in her happiness and joy.

What Crim said: could you give lessons to my husband?

 

[Weird Harold]

But there are those people who don't do either of the "traditional" things and prefer to do something just a little bit different. Like bringing home a handful of wildflowers instead of the long-stemmed roses, or stringing some pretty beads into a necklace instead of the diamond ring thing, or something along that line.

Little personal touches [for Valentine's day] like wild-flowers or handmade beads can be romantic or they can just be cheap -- a lot depends on how the rest of the relationship is structured and/or the age of the romantics.

What can be "cheap and tacky" on Valenine's day can be "touching and sweet" for the same couple as daily or weekly ritual.

The "Romance" in any gift or gesture is in the perception of the recipient.

 

[3113]

One word: Chocolate

Dark chocolate preferably

 

[Weird Harold]

One word: Chocolate

Dark chocolate preferably

How about Milk Chocolate with Dark Chocolate centers?

A Single Cherry Cordial is romantic; a full box of cherry cordials is just fattening.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Romance to me is Dangerous Love. It's love that threatens to pick us up and make us do things we've never done before, be someone we've never been before. All that candlelight and wine and rose petals are no more than magical accoutrements we lay out to capture the wild and transformative power of passionate love and make it work its miracle upon us by sweeping us up into its grasp and rearranging our lives.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

What Crim said: could you give lessons to my husband?

I'll give lessons to any husband whose wife will wear the black latex mentioned be shereads

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Sitting in front of crackling blaze in the fireplace, getting slightly tipsy with a bottle of good wine, enjoying fresh bread, oil and ante-pasto that we chose together from the Italian bakery, talking voluably, laughing, appreciating how clever and interesting the other is.

In the summer doing the same on the deck in the late afternoon.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Romance to me is Dangerous Love. It's love that threatens to pick us up and make us do things we've never done before, be someone we've never been before. All that candlelight and wine and rose petals are no more than magical accoutrements we lay out to capture the wild and transformative power of passionate love and make it work its miracle upon us by sweeping us up into its grasp and rearranging our lives.

yep.

 

[neonlyte]

Amen to the Doc's philosophy. We're at an age where romance is often linked with the memory of wild scenes performed in cars and woods, and staircases and barns. Remembering is romantic; and is often our trigger for Dangerous Love.

Black latex works too.

 

[English Lady]

Romance to me is doing something to make the other person feel good.
It's about small details and surprises there's no formula to it.

Things like....

Stopping, pushing away the trolley and dancing to More than Words (Our song) in the middle of a supermarket.

A little present for no other reason thn I love him or he loves me. (These surprise gifts are always the best) and it can range from a favourite chocolate ba to an item of clothing or a teddy or an item of bakeware for me or computer hard/software for him. The item itself doesn't matter, it's the thought behind it that really does count.

Making a CD filled with Cliff Richard songs when you can't stand Cliff Richard. (Hubs did this for me this Christmas)

Romance is just doing something to please your lover.

 

[Liar]

Romance is passionate and spontaneous and makes us risk things that would be otherwise important. Romance is breaking your patterns for the sake of love.

Candlelight and roses is just a well executed date.

 

[impressive]

Romance to me is Dangerous Love. It's love that threatens to pick us up and make us do things we've never done before, be someone we've never been before. All that candlelight and wine and rose petals are no more than magical accoutrements we lay out to capture the wild and transformative power of passionate love and make it work its miracle upon us by sweeping us up into its grasp and rearranging our lives.

That's "passion" to me.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

First you need to learn how your beau defines 'romantic.' Then you need to confirm that youre a bonafide contestant and contender for their affections. You may not be.

DIARY: David Gates

I found her Dairy underneath the tree
And started reading about me
The words she'd written took me by surprise
You never read them in her eyes

They said that she had found the love she’ve waited for

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

Then she confronted with her writting there
Simply pretended not to care
I passed it of as just in keeping with
Her total disconcertedness.

An though she tried to hide the love that she denied

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

And as I go through my life
I will give to her my wife
All the sweet things I can find

I found her Dairy underneath the tree
And started reading about me
The words begun to stick to tears to flow
Her meaning now is clear to see

The love she’ve waited for, was someone else not me

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

And as I go through my life
I will wish for her his wife
All the sweet things she can find
All the sweet things they can find

 

[cantdog]

Well, but, Imp, as a story, Zoot has laid out the elements of what makes 'romance,' the genre. No romance novel or story would be worth a damn if the protags got to just carry on with their plans and simply add a partner, no fuss, no muss. There has to be evidence of the love transforming all, or at least, making a damn noticeable stir!

As you say, the Zoot formula may be a better definition for 'passion' than 'romance,' but what that means is, the Romance genre is misnamed, as so many things are.

 

[CeriseNoire]

I think my view of romance probably meshes with imp's. I see it as paying enough attention to really know the other person.

For example, in college I dated a guy whose family was pretty well off. He'd take me to exclusive parties, buy me expensive clothes, etc, and a lot of my friends and roommates would swoon at how romantic it all was... except that I really don't care to part with celebrities, and I'm more concerned with clothing that suits my style than what brand name is on it. Which he would have known had he taken the time to really know me. I always felt that the gifts and gesture would be exactly the same no matter who the girl was.

My brother kind of sums it up well. He once said to me, "you know, I can see you marrying the guy who has enough sense not to go for the usual big diamond ring."
He's probably right too; people who know me well know I'm not really a diamond kind of girl.