OMG! My first story is out!

[Anna_Malia75]

My first story was just posted this morning!

Out of the Claus-et

I didn't join in time to get it in for the Holiday contest, but I'd love to know what y'all think of it!

Thanks very much!

Anna.

 

[mack350]

MMMMMMM I hope there will be more to follow

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Anna, You have some sense of humor.

Thought it was really good, and I enjoyed it.

My two cents would be, I found the scene between Sam and Mrs C a bit rushed. It's probably me being dumb, but I'm not sure I understood who was getting who at the end.

Anyway, congrats, a really good first story.

Elle

 

[mjl2010]

I thought this was very well done. Not at all like most of the first submissions we see here. I loved the way Samantha twisted things around on Rachel at the end.

I had no trouble at all with who was doing who. I liked how she wished that strap on into existence too and .... well I won't give it away. Even if you're not into girl-girl, this is a great read.

You've got a great sense of humor and this was perfect.

Welcome to Lit and I'll be watching for more stories from you.

MJL

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Too bad this story didn't make the Holiday Contest. It would have done well. I liked your idea and the way you twisted it. Keep writing. We need more people writing humor, especially those with promise.

Congrats. Great first story.

J Jackson (Insane Mystery and Porn Writer)

 

[MarshAlien]

As a humor writer myself (just hush, Jenny), I thought that you had a wonderful premise. The story necessarily suffered from the absence of rampant members, of course (kidding - I'm kidding), but on whole I thought it was very well done. I think my only complaint was that you seemed to be hurrying to get to the end. I was a little surprised not to see Samantha ask a little more of Rachel before she sent her away.

Welcome to the club, though. A very well-conceived and executed story, particularly for your first.

Marsh

 

[elfin_odalisque]

As a humor writer myself (just hush, Jenny), I thought that you had a wonderful premise. The story necessarily suffered from the absence of rampant members, of course (kidding - I'm kidding), but on whole I thought it was very well done. I think my only complaint was that you seemed to be hurrying to get to the end. I was a little surprised not to see Samantha ask a little more of Rachel before she sent her away.

Welcome to the club, though. A very well-conceived and executed story, particularly for your first.

Marsh

No, Marsh, stand tall. Your writing makes most of us laugh.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

Thanks, everyone, so much! Glad to know I kept your interest, mjl, even if, as Marsh said, there weren't any "rampant members." (Problem with actually calling them by their name, Marsh?) Elle and Marsh, I'm trying to keep my first set of stories here "short" and have given myself a sort of arbitrary limit of around 3,000 words. Just to bone up on my writing skills more than anything else. I'm sure it did make my story seem a little rushed at the end. I'll have to work on that. Thanks, Jenny; so nice to hear that humor is appreciated.

Anna

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Thanks, everyone, so much! Glad to know I kept your interest, mjl, even if, as Marsh said, there weren't any "rampant members." (Problem with actually calling them by their name, Marsh?) Elle and Marsh, I'm trying to keep my first set of stories here "short" and have given myself a sort of arbitrary limit of around 3,000 words. Just to bone up on my writing skills more than anything else. I'm sure it did make my story seem a little rushed at the end. I'll have to work on that. Thanks, Jenny; so nice to hear that humor is appreciated.

Anna

Anna, your story was a great first effort.

Understand you wanting to keep length under control but up to 5k words is still a very short story. Don't ration yourself to fit a mold - you write too well for that. Just tell your story.

(And sorry, I've just gone back and understood the end - it's good. I just read it too quick first time. Sorry.)

Elle