struggling with finding the fine line between whats okay to share and whats not

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Did you ever feel like no matter what you say it makes you look totaly crap at the end? I feel like that quite often i must say.

I spoke with few people i really respect, like and appreciate, but somehow people always stop talk to me with time. Must say it makes me sad.

Maybe i share too much or too less, or maybe it's that some of my thoughts are just totaly fucked up to be shared, i dunno. Wish i knew how to comunicate on some inteligent level, like Evil_Geoff or Cutie Mose does, but i dunno that. What i say is always colored by my emotions, which is exacetly what makes it crap i think.

I am a bad speaker, always was, but i am not a bad person, at least i always like to think so. I like chat with people, but i know just very few who can handle the "real me" and are still willing talk to me after a while, could count them on fingers of one hand.

Is it possible there are people who are interesting to listen too and then there are people (like me) who should rather stfu? prolly yes.

I am usualy very friendly to people, i find it easy be nice to people and listen to them, try to understand them. I am good listener, but when it comes to me to be the one who should talk i always fuck up things. I find it easy to say things, share things and feelings of myself, but it seems i share too much at times.

I spoke with two Dom's from this webby who don't talk to me anymore. Someway i dissapointed them i guess. I understand the first one, we spoke and i shared myself with him, guess he liked me cuz he asked me if i wanna be his sub, but i was owned sub that time already so i said "no, i am sorry". Think it hurted him someway, i am sorry it did.... i never meant to hurt him, but i would never leave my curent master, he's one of those people who always understand me. You don't have a clue how much that means to me. The knowing i can tell him anything without a fear he would judge me or reject me.

The other Dom i spoke with is very nice Dom too and i really appreciated he was willing talk to me and answear my questions, i had many. But quess it was just many stupid questions and i really wish i have never spit them outta my mouth cuz he don't talk to me anymore either. I had doubts and fears and shared them with him, didnt want to ask that on forum. Guess share your thoughs is not really smart thing to do sometimes, but i had those thoughts on my mind (however fucked up they was), so i asked. Now i wish i haven't.

I dunno, i was just honest. My fears was prolly fucked up, but if you knew more about me you would understand why i am like that. I won't justify myself and i won't beg anyone to chat with me either. I am the way i am and people usualy don't get me, i should have know before i decied talk to other Dom's.

When i wanna share myself with someone i usualy scare them off in few dayz and i am sick of it. It makes me feel totaly shit and it asure me in my thought i shouldn't talk or meer anyone. There were times when i was happy and it was easy for me to talk to people, now i rarely talk with someone, i usualy talk only with my master, kinda feel like its all i can handle. I dont feel well sometimes and eventho i dont want too it still prolly colors the way i talk or think, people dont get it such a thinking, its hard to describe.

If those 2 Dom's read this, i just wanna say that i am really sorry i hurt them, dissapointed them or pissed them off. I just wanted be friends and talk, but guess i am not good in it. I won't bother you with myself anymore. Somehow i thought we could be friends, i was wrong. I am sorry......

Silly me when i thought i was ready to stop hiding and talk to people as i used to some years ago. I am still better all alone. I should live on some kind of lonely island where i wouldn't anoy people with this "weird me". Honestly am I that wrong, is it me every time.....

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/777c9b6ce8.jpg​

 

[serijules]

The thing about the internet and the friendships formed on them is that they are often like a tide...coming and going.

I have always been someone that really throws myself into my friendships and the forums/chats I participate in. I get to know the people, I form friendships, and I really invest a lot of myself in those people. I'm always amazed and saddened by how quickly the friendships can fade and people can forget you, especially with what we SHARED...relationships, sex, homes (I lived with an internet friend for 3 months once), met their kids and families, knew their secrets. Then suddenly it's like it all never happened and it fades away. Very baffling, and yes, very hurtful. Now I'm more careful, because I'm sensitive and I have a hard time accepting that I was not as important to someone as they were to me.

However, I HAVE learned to not take it personally, even if it is hurtful. The internet has always been my "hearing world" since I am deaf, so I really love chatting and participating in conversations with multiple people online since I can't DO that very easily in person. For every couple dozen "friends" I've made online over the years, I have one that is a lasting, quality friend. THOSE are the ones I focus on now. The rest I've just come to a peace at knowing they may not last, but I'll just enjoy it while it's here.

As open as I am, as much as I share...I still keeps myself at arms length at times. I save my whole self for the ones I know are going to stick me out for the long run. I return the favour too.

Don't be so hard on yourself, and don't take it personally. It's a lot to expect of someone you chat with casually online to stick around and be a good friend, I've found. That kind of friendship can take years to form, and are few and far between. They are even harder to find when you actively look for them.

Maybe try lowering your expectations and just continue to be yourself. There is nothing wrong with you, and if someone ends up deciding your personality isn't a good click for them, well, that isn't really someone you'd want as a friend anyhow.

 

[Netzach]

It may not be personal. I can bond with people, but sometimes 3-D really pulls me away or other things, it doesn't mean I don't like them or don't care, but it does mean that I can't give the intimacy or the friendship the same amount of time that I did at another point in my life. Ultimately, I'm an introvert, all said and done. I only have one friend from high school I'm still in touch with, and it's the kind of in touch where she can appear out of the blue a decade from now and it's good, but we don't talk regularly.

It's quality over frequency for me.

For what it's worth I don't think your communications are "crap" at all.

 

[bholderman]

A lot of times, I thought I was saying something eloquent, when posted it cae across as incomplete and crap. A few times I ve discussed things with my wife, she's read them (I dont hide it), she gets a bit irked. But that doesnt keep her from discussing detailed points of our relationship to friends.

It is a tightrope, one worth walking I think. I could just bottle everything up and let it smolder.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[catalina_francisco]

I guess the best answer is to keep trying. Personally speaking, I have met some great people through this forum who I have a lot of respect for, but like RL friends, I find my energy and time does not permit me to be in constant contact though I am open if and when they contact me....and sometimes it is they who don't keep the contact going...I try not to take it personally and recognise that most people are very busy, have their own lives and problems to deal with etc. I am fortunate in that my RL friends I have had for years are of the sort that when we do meet up or touch base again, whether it is a few months or a few years, it is like there has never been a break in contact.

As to the idea you may have disappointed 2 Doms on here, I am puzzled. Once owned, you really don't have to live up to the expectations of another Dom, or even think you do as you do not belong to them and at best should just be friends, not living up to expectations. Even when I was not owned and looking to find the right one for me, I never felt I had to worry about disappointing Dominants in any way....if they liked me and I liked them, fine, we saw where it went.....if one of us didn't think there was a possibility of being anything substantial to the other we either parted ways or remained friends. Of course, it could also be they or one of the ones you are speaking of was just seeing if you were open to a relationship...it is fairly common unfortunately (though not often here) for some to try even if they know you are taken. Once they realise they are not going to get anything, they move onto the next target or possibility.

I hope you find what you are looking for. I have been here since 2002 and still do not have regular contact with anyone, but it doesn't bother me either...it is nice if it happens, but is not necessary for me to find relaxation and fun in being here. I sense you are a lonely person who seems to be isolated a lot...probably not that unusual when you have small children and aren't working...hopefully it will change.

Catalina

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

thanks to all of you

serijules - Yeh guess i was not as important to them as they were to me. I still love and respect them, it's just i don't expect anything from it anymore. I dunno what i expected before? I just needed talk with someone, anyone. I should have prolly wait for them to contact me first, it was me who asked them for a talk, my bad. I thought i can handle something i obviously can't, i should have know.

I thought they might understand cuz they are experienced Dom's, but i am really hard to get at times, so i dont blame them it didn't work. That my master understand me is a lil miracle. I am very insecure about myself and about others too at times, its very not nice of me sometimes, but i can't help it. I often trust to those to who i shouldn't and struggle with trust to those to who i should trust without a doubt. Think thats the most fucked up thing about me.

I am asking my man almost every day if he loves me, i dunno why i do that but i do. Yesterday he told me "don't you know i love you? i told you i love you when i married you 15 years ago". He was just jokin, but i deffo need him to say it to me often, i am weird. Same with my master, i constantly need him to assure me i am still his good girl. Sometimes when he's gone for day or two, i am too easy to think i am not wanted/loved anymore, i dunno why. This insecurity is deffo neverending battle i have with myself. I'll be ready talk to others prolly when i get over this fucked up thinking, dunno.


Netzach - I don't talk/meet with none of my high school friends. I had few and few from my house my job etc. Stoped talk to all of them long time ago. Not cuz they was bad or something, they are nice people. I was just tired of explaining them why i am the way i am and constatly see they don't get it anyways. Hard to explain.

Some time ago i spoke to my best friend, we met after years. Well we spoke and she told me if i will ever get back to my exhusband again she won't talk to me anymore. She had a good reasons for saying that to me, but i love that man so i am back to him again and i didn't talk with my friend since she told me that. Talk to her reminded me what i don't need at all. I needed a friend, not a judge. Keep telling me i deserve someone better while it just don't sink in it's just wasting of time, my and hers as well.

Thank you for sayin my comunication ain't that bad Neztach, hear it from someone respected as you is a big compliment


bholderman - I discuss things with my man and with my master as well. Should always do that just with these two i guess, much easier and more chances they might actualy understand whats goin on insdie of me. Well my man have trouble to get it at times, but my master see into me like into a glas of water.


CutieMouse - I expect too much from online people prolly. I am giving a lot back, but it this virtual world it rarely matter really. I know people for who i execist only when they turn their comps on, while i cry for them when they are gone. For them i am just another stragner, for me they are people i often dearly love and it really does not matter to me if i know them from rl or just from the net. I have the very same feelings for both of this sides, online and rl people as well. I don't have to even go out to shad lots of tears, whats laffable.

I take this online friends and relationships too seriously prolly, i always did. I find it easier to get to know someone thro the net than irl. My master knows things about me which my man didn't find out in 15 years we are together. My man loves go out and meet with his friends, with lots of people. Hes so different in this from me. What makes him smile easily makes me cry, i feel as uncomfy as possible with lots of people around. I meet just as many people as necesary, same with those with who i talk or chat. Not cuz i am not working atm, but just cuz it makes me feels so lil to meet them. Hard to explain.

Thank you for tellin me it's not me CutieMouse, but the Dom's i spoke with are very good Dom's, so yes it was me who fucked it up. I didn't want too, but i did, oh well i will deal with it. It's just i don't feel well about it atm. I shouldn't mind they don't talk with me anymore, but i do. It sadness me. Not cuz we don't talk anymore, but cuz of what they prolly think about me now. I am not that bad as i might look like, just wish they knew.....

Thank you for ur kind words CutieMouse


catalina_francisco - Catalina i dunno what to say......i was proper bitch to you in the Shay thread, i know i was.....i am very sorry. It takes me a while to realise things sometimes and sometimes it's just easier to pretend i didn't say anythin bad, but i wasn't fair to you and i owe you an apology. I am sorry it took me so long.....i am sorry for what i told you. You doin a great job on Lit webby and i appreciate your advice, i always did.

I am sorry i let my frusty mood to guide my words. I didn't agree with the way you spoke about Shay yes, but i had no right to dish you the way i did. I feel ashamed when you trying to give me advice here after what i told you....

Yes i am a lonely and i am usualy okay with it, but sometimes it gets me and i need to talk to someone which i dont do very well, i know i suck in it yet i keep doin that whats quite stupid of me. I do the same mistakes over and over again sometimes. Trying to make someone understand myself is one of those siilly things. It often gets me to probs, same as my bitchy mouth when i get moody and frusty over things. Lack of self control is one of many things i deffo struggle with. I am learning to behave better, my master helping me alot with this for what i am really thankful.

My man think i am not goin out cuz i spend too much of time with my comp. Said if i didnt have it i would go out and be like i used to before, but hes wrong with this one, if i didnt have my comp i would be just buried in books instead. I am not social person, i find it hard talk with people and i often feel sick when i have too much of people around, guess i am demented this way lol. My man, my mum and my girl is only people i need around really, except my master of course, i feel fukin lost when hes not around for a while. My man think i am addict to my comp, but i am addict just to peeps really, especialy to him and my master. I am goin crazy and uberfrusty when they not around, both of them. I am not easy to be loved, i know that, but for those who do take the time with me i hope they find it worth it.

Thank you for your advice Catalina and once more my sorry.........

 

[FurryFury]

Internet, or real life, friends come and go and sometimes come back again. It hurts sometimes but life is busy, focus changes and that's normal. It's okay that happens because like books, there are plenty of people in the world.

I often find myself in places that are not for me, there are no friends of mine there. So what do I do? I decide if I want to hang out with whoever happens to be there or if I'd rather read or whatever.

The cool thing is that as human beings we ALL have certain things in common. When you find those things with each person, you can talk to anyone and everyone.

My best buds? We get together a few times a year. I have quite a few of them but like me they are busy working, with their families and community service. Finding the time to get together is tough. I'm busy as hell but they are usually even busier. Some of them I imagine rocking with when we are old and not as busy. LOL!

On lit and online I've had tons of people leave me but sometimes as in RL they come back. Sometimes when they do, I don't really care so much. Other times it is a happy thing, it depends on what role they were in before and if that role is needed in my life NOW.

*shrug*

 

[Homburg]

For every couple dozen "friends" I've made online over the years, I have one that is a lasting, quality friend. THOSE are the ones I focus on now. The rest I've just come to a peace at knowing they may not last, but I'll just enjoy it while it's here.

There's a whole load of wisdom here, and it applies to any relationship.

It's odd to say, but my best friend in the world is a great guy that I met something like 6 years ago on an online game. He's a Brit and I'm in the US. I think we've physically hung out together perhaps 3-4 times in all of those years. Yet even I haven't played that game in years, and our lives have moved on, we still IM, still call up on occassion, and I have the great honour and joy of being the Best Man at his upcoming wedding.

Sometimes, just sometimes, you really do make a very serious connection.

BiF - Focus on the good ones. Don't regret those that fall out of your life.

You and I have never spoken directly, but you seem like good people to me.

 

[FungiUg]

I had a not-so-interesting run-in recently where "friends" (real life ones, apparently) were reading blogs and associated blogs and mis-interpreting or taking stuff out of context, then feeding back this warped paranoic version to my partner.

Grrrr.

Caused us not a little amount of strife.

The moral of that story is, sometimes you do have to think about the flow-on effects of what you share.

 

[EmpressFi]

I have this problem myself... telling people more than what they probably want to know.

As far as online friendships, it's easy to do and I'm guilty of this too. Allowing myself to think that just because we're "friends" in a game or on a board, that we're really friends. Like Homburg, I've had many friends but only a few that I've made a lasting connection with. I met Malinborn via a chatroom, met Master via a video game. I have a friend who's like a sister to me that we met via another video game. But I've also been hurt when those "friends" treated me indifferently. And again I would be reminded that this wasnt a person I'd ever met in person, why should I care what they said or thought about me.

it's the hardest lesson I've had to learn and not something I'm completely sure I want to give up

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Homburg - thank you Homburg


FungiUg - yeh i have to start think twice before i say/share something with someone. I am way too sharing at times lol, working on it.


EmpressFi - i am glad i am not alone in this I always care of what people say/think about me, i dunno why, but i do :/

 

[fluttertongue]

I've had times when I've definitely said more than I should, and times when I agonized over it, wondering if I should have just shut up. Hard to deal with, definitely. I find that I have a difficult time opening up because of these fears, so as a result, I fail to find connections when I may be looking for them. So, don't feel bad about what you've said or how much you've said...be yourself and if friends/acquaintances stick around, they stick around. If they don't, at least you've been true to yourself.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

I am sayin too much about myself at times. Kinda figured out it's not really smart thing to do sometimes. I have a good online friend from France which knows the way i am and we are still good friends, but find someone like him aint that easy irl. Someone to who you could tell anythin ya know.

I realise i can sound very depresssed at times and maybe i even am now and then. Probs, doubts and fears which people usualy handle easy just brings me down bigtime sometimes, so then when i get into this state of mind and tryin to share something what troubles my mind i can sound very uhmm low, or i dunno how to say it.

I have a friend, once we spoke about some crap i was goin thro that moment in time. He asked me to be quiet cuz he start to feel depressed as well, just from talking to me.....that suxed IMO. Actualy he told me to talk to him again once when love back in my life. Well that would be nice, but life aint always nice. For him maybe is, so it was so hard for him to get my feelings. Now i know it, we still talk, but when he ask how i am theres a simple answear for it "I am fine". Doesn't matter if i really am or not. I love him as a friend, but i know he cant handle truly answear, so i just don't give it to him. I think people who dont really care about someone or are not ready for the answear just shouldn't ask.

Real friends care and listen and thats often the only thing i really need from them, to listen. Sometimes is hard to know whos "real" and whos "fake". I had always probs with this and i am not opening myself kinda often to someone. I am not cuz i just usualy find out that i should have be all quiet.

Me and my french friend talk about many possible things, its special talk to someone and still know they will listen to ya and understand the way u feel. He often wanted help me, ofered me cash when i had no cash for food and ofered me love when i felt unloved. Only thing i ever accepted from him was his friendship and love as friends. I would never allow him to send me some cash no matter if i needed some or not. Pissed him off with this many times cuz he really wanted help me. Just the knowing he cared about me and things i went thro was enough for me. I am not using my friends to get cash outta them or anythin like that, but when i see someone in need and i am able to help i just do it, no need to ask me.

I don't have a prob helping people, if it's family or my friends or someone i dunno at all, it doesn't matter to me. When i can i help, when i can't i at least listen and give them mental support if i cannot do more. I usualy do that without expecting anythin back, but there are times when i get sad. Sad cuz i wished someone treated me the same way back. Theres the saying "treat people as you want them to treat you" and i must say eventho i do that i am just very rarely getting the same nice treating back.

The hardest lesson on this i have learn with my man. My friends telling me for years now to get ride of him and there were times when i really thought i will just give up and ripe him outta my heart once forever. He get so many new chances from me, too many my close one thinks. But now i am glad i did it, cuz after 15 years of him being bitch he's finaly the man i always saw in him. My nice man. Showing me lots of love and care. I appreciate that very much. He appreciate i believed in him and never stoped loving him. It took us ages, but at the end it was worth it.

People are just people and expect perfection from someone would be very silly and i usualy do understand that. At times i get moody and want to be loved back too much, want to be liked and all of that. I usualy calm down with time and live what i always did, knowing theres people who does love you and prove it to you and then there are people who say they love you, but you never feel their love. I love them all, its just i get hurt by the cold people at times, but i am okay.

I love this saying "Just remeber when you see my tears, i told you, i'll be fine"

 

[Betticus]

CutieMouse
Thank you for tellin me it's not me CutieMouse, but the Dom's i spoke with are very good Dom's, so yes it was me who fucked it up. I didn't want too, but i did, oh well i will deal with it. It's just i don't feel well about it atm. I shouldn't mind they don't talk with me anymore, but i do. It sadness me. Not cuz we don't talk anymore, but cuz of what they prolly think about me now. I am not that bad as i might look like, just wish they knew.....

Thank you for ur kind words CutieMouse

This is just my personal opinion here but it strikes me that no matter how good I am or think I am, I'm not the dom who is right for any but a few people who are very compatible with me. Even the best dom out there may not be right or good for the person you happen to be.

Just as in any society we won't be able to establish perfect communication with everyone. Losing contact with those two doms shouldn't make you feel bad about yourself.

Heck, I'm perfect and I don't get along with everyone all of the time.

You're special darnit, you just keep talking with people and you'll make some good friends.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Heck, I'm perfect and I don't get along with everyone all of the time.

You're special darnit, you just keep talking with people and you'll make some good friends.

Thank you Betticus!

My master tells me the same, i am tryin to sink it in, somehow.


Kate

 

[Homburg]

I
I have a friend, once we spoke about some crap i was goin thro that moment in time. He asked me to be quiet cuz he start to feel depressed as well, just from talking to me.....that suxed IMO. Actualy he told me to talk to him again once when love back in my life.

Honey, you've just described the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. An acqwuaintance is happy to be around you so long as you're fun. A friend will hang out with you when you are crying and miserable.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Honey, you've just described the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. An acqwuaintance is happy to be around you so long as you're fun. A friend will hang out with you when you are crying and miserable.

Yea you're right. I have alot of acquaintances, sadly very few real friends. Just two when i think about it. The french boy and my master. I am glad i know them

 

[Evil_Geoff]

And remember, from your position there's only 1 of you, BiF, but from the other side, there may be a LOT of "1 of you's" out there that may be clamoring for attention, looking for answers, needing a hand.

Or they may have been wanting more of a relationship than you were wanting to give.

Or maybe they simply don't want someone forming an emotional attachment to them.

Don't assume it's something you said or did, BiF... There's really no way to know exactly why without asking them and getting a straight answer.

YIK,
- Geoff

 

[FurryFury]

Honey, you've just described the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. An acqwuaintance is happy to be around you so long as you're fun. A friend will hang out with you when you are crying and miserable.

A friend will up to a point. That point for me is self preservation.

 

[catalina_francisco]

[
Thank you for your advice Catalina and once more my sorry.........

No need to feel bad, we all have been through misunderstandings and/or differences of opinion at some time on the forum, for some of us more than once.

Catalina

 

[nh23]

Did you ever feel like no matter what you say it makes you look totaly crap at the end? I feel like that quite often i must say.

I spoke with few people i really respect, like and appreciate, but somehow people always stop talk to me with time. Must say it makes me sad.

Maybe i share too much or too less, or maybe it's that some of my thoughts are just totaly fucked up to be shared, i dunno. Wish i knew how to comunicate on some inteligent level, like Evil_Geoff or Cutie Mose does, but i dunno that. What i say is always colored by my emotions, which is exacetly what makes it crap i think.

I am a bad speaker, always was, but i am not a bad person, at least i always like to think so. I like chat with people, but i know just very few who can handle the "real me" and are still willing talk to me after a while, could count them on fingers of one hand.

Is it possible there are people who are interesting to listen too and then there are people (like me) who should rather stfu? prolly yes.

I am usualy very friendly to people, i find it easy be nice to people and listen to them, try to understand them. I am good listener, but when it comes to me to be the one who should talk i always fuck up things. I find it easy to say things, share things and feelings of myself, but it seems i share too much at times.

I spoke with two Dom's from this webby who don't talk to me anymore. Someway i dissapointed them i guess. I understand the first one, we spoke and i shared myself with him, guess he liked me cuz he asked me if i wanna be his sub, but i was owned sub that time already so i said "no, i am sorry". Think it hurted him someway, i am sorry it did.... i never meant to hurt him, but i would never leave my curent master, he's one of those people who always understand me. You don't have a clue how much that means to me. The knowing i can tell him anything without a fear he would judge me or reject me.

The other Dom i spoke with is very nice Dom too and i really appreciated he was willing talk to me and answear my questions, i had many. But quess it was just many stupid questions and i really wish i have never spit them outta my mouth cuz he don't talk to me anymore either. I had doubts and fears and shared them with him, didnt want to ask that on forum. Guess share your thoughs is not really smart thing to do sometimes, but i had those thoughts on my mind (however fucked up they was), so i asked. Now i wish i haven't.

I dunno, i was just honest. My fears was prolly fucked up, but if you knew more about me you would understand why i am like that. I won't justify myself and i won't beg anyone to chat with me either. I am the way i am and people usualy don't get me, i should have know before i decied talk to other Dom's.

When i wanna share myself with someone i usualy scare them off in few dayz and i am sick of it. It makes me feel totaly shit and it asure me in my thought i shouldn't talk or meer anyone. There were times when i was happy and it was easy for me to talk to people, now i rarely talk with someone, i usualy talk only with my master, kinda feel like its all i can handle. I dont feel well sometimes and eventho i dont want too it still prolly colors the way i talk or think, people dont get it such a thinking, its hard to describe.

If those 2 Dom's read this, i just wanna say that i am really sorry i hurt them, dissapointed them or pissed them off. I just wanted be friends and talk, but guess i am not good in it. I won't bother you with myself anymore. Somehow i thought we could be friends, i was wrong. I am sorry......

Silly me when i thought i was ready to stop hiding and talk to people as i used to some years ago. I am still better all alone. I should live on some kind of lonely island where i wouldn't anoy people with this "weird me". Honestly am I that wrong, is it me every time.....

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/777c9b6ce8.jpg​

I know that it has to hurt when people react to you this way, but it may not be because they are trying to be rude or hurtful. I hate to say it, but I'm that type of person. There have only ever been three people on this earth that I've ever let close enough to me to know the real me. My husband, my previous Dom, and my best friend. I'm the type of person that can be friends of a sort with someone for months..and then just let them go. It's not that I'm cruel or cold, and I don't try to hurt others, but I have built walls that are damn near impossible for people to get down, and when I feel that someone is getting to close I get scared and run. I just don't like to let people in, I'm so greatful for the ones I have let in...but it takes time that sometimes I don't allow others to have with me to get to that point. Maybe at times when this happens to you, it's not anything you've done at all..maybe it's the other person.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Getting there!

 

[Netzach]

A friend will up to a point. That point for me is self preservation.

Yes totally.

And any relationship has a failing point. Any.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Honey, you've just described the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. An acqwuaintance is happy to be around you so long as you're fun. A friend will hang out with you when you are crying and miserable.

Perfectly said Homburg!!!!

I so needed to read this. Again. Seems I am still confusing an acquaintance with a real friend. *slaps myself*

And yes it bothers me. Well did! I am so naive when it comes to who I consider my friend lol .